Category: Uncategorized
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Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.
Everything is my fault. I let things escalate. I loved them longer than necessary. I cared more than required. I should have cut them off at the first sign of BS. I should have drawn boundaries when I saw a pattern. I should have stood up for myself. I should have said No. I should…
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My experience with men (continued)
There was a man, let’s call him, Farah Shariff. When his wife was pregnant, he continuously spoke about my boobs and assaulted me on my DM. He kept saying if we both were single we would have hit it off when the truth is I’m not interested in him even if he is the last…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
Conductors have sexually assaulted me too. It happened two times where they pressed my breast when I was alone in bus. I was in continuous trauma.
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List of names in RED underline (continued)
(fanfic) People I want to punch on the face and throw eggs and cow dung at.
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List of names in RED underline (continued)
(fanfic) People I want to punch on the face and throw eggs and cow dung at. I pray every single day that each one of these people suffer. They are pure evil and they deserve it.
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List of names in RED underline (continued)
(fanfic) People I want to punch on the face and throw eggs and cow dung at.
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List of names in RED underline.
(fanfic) People who deserve prison. They are absolutely filthy and disgusting and I pray the absolute worst for them. They are Satan with their masks on and I pray they burn alive in hell for their sins. People I want to punch on the face and throw eggs and cow dung at. I pray Karma…
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Note.
There are so many spelling and grammatical mistakes in my blogs, it’s painful. I don’t think it’s possible to correct everything. Please ignore them. xx
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Toxic friends (continued)
Tayenjam used to continuously call keerthana, nikita, rosie goho ugly. Everytime she opened her mouth it was to call them ugly or question me about their personal life or to talk about sex.
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Toxic friends (continued)
Mohapatra used to say things like whenever she sees children she feels like killing them. She was evil.
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Toxic friends (continued)
(Please refer https://rachanarajan.com/2024/05/21/toxic-friends-continued-15/ ) Tayenjam was diabolical, she used to never say she wants to come to indiranagar. She used to make me go till Koramangala and then say let’s go to indiranagar, always. She did this so many times.
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Dear Diary.
When I went to get my “always” tattoo the tattoo artist taunted me saying it’s not perfect. He meant to say I’m not perfect. He had no right to make a personal comment in a professional environment. No matter how much I prove myself, people are always attacking me and hurting me and the worst…
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Toxic friends (continued)
I had a friend, let’s call him Teni Thomas. Things were going good for few years and I even had a platonic crush on him because he was nice to talk to. After few years, every time we spoke, he would bring up sexual topics and I blocked him and got back in touch like…
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My experience with men (continued)
I got back in touch with Mehta to try and change my mind about him, but regretted immediately. Even if I forgive him for what he did to me, I don’t want him. He keeps repeating my own words back to me every time we text and sometimes in capital letters which is a turn…
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Dear Diary.
I get really overwhelmed by staying with my family. I’m unable to function half the time. I feel physically present but mentally I’m in lunar valleys. I pray everyday to live alone. I do care for my family and nieces but I don’t want to live with them everyday. I don’t think I’m ready to…
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Dear Diary.
Sometimes I feel guilty for speaking the truth about my family and people I know because I feel I’m betraying them. I instantly feel the need to make it easier for my family and make them comfortable. I have to constantly remind myself that they didn’t think about me while they were hurting me. I…
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Toxic friends (continued)
Whenever Tayenjam and I would take selfie, if she sees that I’m looking good in the picture, she starts calling me a bitch and shouting at me and say that she doesn’t want to take pictures.
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Dear Diary.
I get up everyday and try to forget what happened and be good to my parents. I try to go back to how we were before all this started. I don’t know what went wrong with my mom but I don’t think about it anymore and have let it go. I make conversation as much…
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Toxic friends (continued)
Whenever Tayenjam wanted to come to indiranagar, she used to make me go till Kormangala in bus, so that we both could travel together back to indiranagar. She was paranoid of traveling alone in cab. While going back home she used to force me to stay on call with her till she reached home, I…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
When Lockhart kept reaching out to me these last few years after I cut him off, he said things like, “your smile is so beautiful and amazing” and kept calling me beautiful again and again. (typical fuck boy move) He asked me to text him and he said things like I would love to meet…
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Dear Diary
Today is my birthday and I feel suicidal even today. I have had few good days here and there in my life but I have felt suicidal most days. Father stared at my body even today and I wanted to die that second itself. My mother created unnecessary problems in my life even today. They…
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Dear Diary (continued)
a book I might never read or a place that I might never go to* * By book I mean she reads a lot of different genres and like a lot of books, I hardly read. By place I mean, I don’t know if I will ever make enough money to go to Australia and…
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Dear Diary.
I know I can be opinionated. Sometimes I have really strong opinions about books, music, choice of clothing. Also, sometimes I write/speak on impulse and forget that I’m addressing a larger audience and maybe things I’m addressing might be a favorite of someone and it can offend them. The point I’m trying to make is,…
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Domestic Violence (continued)
Whenever my father gets angry, he starts boiling and comes running to hit me and my mother and verbally abuse at the same time. .. When my sister was living with us, whenever she was late from college my father would start boiling in anger and verbally abuse and hit my mother every single time.…
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Domestic Violence (continued)
My sister was born in the same year my parents got married. After my sister was born, my father’s mother and sister kept abusing my mother saying she was pregnant before she got married. .. When my father was having lunch with my mother and her family, my mother spoke out of turn and my…
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Domestic violence (continued)
Once I was sitting in the hall and taking selfie in my previous house, when I looked up my father was staring at my underarm with a disgusting smile on his face and when I looked down I realised my sleeve was really low and little bit of my boob was showing from below my…
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Note to Public.
I see everyone standing up for childish things like color, book etc that I dislike. I have addressed so many serious issues, I see majority of people being silent about it. I guess people only stand up for things that’s convenient for them and not things that is right and is clearly being disregarded. thought…
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Reflection (continued)
( continuation of the blog https://rachanarajan.com/2023/12/22/reflection/ ) By saying this I’m not saying material wealth is not important. I meant you should not let that define you and your value as a person. If you want a good house and a comfortable car and that is your dream, you should work towards it and focus…
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Note to Public.
Alot of people at Ministry and people I’ve met need a therapist and behaviour coach. Some even need an exorcist. But they don’t seek help and people like me who come in contact with them get fucked and end up seeking help because I prioritise self care.
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Note to Public.
I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary at Ministry. My only mistake is I considered people as my good friends when it was never mutual and when they didn’t have good intentions for me. There was a lot of BS that people there did that no one knew about and people only saw my…
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Note to Public.
I have only retaliated whenever someone did me wrong. I have never in my life hurt anyone intentionally. If someone is so interested in knowing why I say what I say, please just ask me “what happened” before hurting me based on your assumptions. I always get hurt twice. Always. No matter how many times…
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Message to the haters.
I have a mirror in my house which shows me how beautiful I am everyday. I am secure and confident in my skin. Calling someone ugly when they have done nothing to hurt you and only cared about you, shows a reflection of who you are as a person and how ugly your soul is.…
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Dear Diary.
I think I over reacted about the emily henry book and I see where she is coming from now. I take time to understand things. But it was triggering. .. I’m really not sure what happened with Rachel or what went wrong. I’m just going to take a step back and remove myself from the…
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Roar (continued)
Author’s Note. I have this whole story in my mind to hurt the people who hurt me, but I don’t feel like writing it. So I’m just going to let it go. Ministry, the youtuber and the authors were really important to me at one point and I don’t feel like hurting them, even if…
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Self Reflection.
I know it’s wrong to continue to confront my parents about the past because I’m unable to forget it. But it’s so hard because of the close proximity. What happened to me was also not right. Also, everything that keeps happening every time I go out and online. I forgave them finally and things were…
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Note to Public.
Please don’t awaken the khaleesi in me unless you are ready to face the consequences.
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Note to Public.
I’m going to hold off my fanfic for sometime, if anyone wants to take back what they did by genuinely meaning it, they can. Everyone makes mistakes and there can be misunderstandings. I always appreciate growth and change. I’m not going to watch/read anyone’s content. You can find your own ways to reach out to…
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My experience with men (continued)
(Please refer prev blog https://rachanarajan.com/2024/04/29/my-experience-with-men-continued-2/ ) Deepak GS also said that, to get out of the situation at home I should get married and I should get married to him (for the sake of getting married). Tbh, marriage is something you do when you meet someone you love and want to settle down. I’m not…
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Note to Public.
I respectfully ask people not to point out my reaction to torture and call them my flaws. I didn’t take care of my personal hygiene in the past because of the sexual and mental assaults and the torture. I was crazy because of it, yes I’m fully aware of that. But I’m not anymore and…
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Note to Public.
People don’t treat me with the respect I deserve when I go somewhere and they are extremely unprofessional and cross my boundaries time and time again. Hence I’ve been taking a stand for myself each time I see something is off and not right. I’m going to continuously do this till people realise that they…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
2 years ago I was having nightmares of being raped and spoke to a random therapist. She ignored what I said about the nightmare and rape and continuously spoke about how I should apologise to the people in my past for standing up to their BS for an hour.
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Toxic friends (continued)
Dhruv also keeps looking at my body like a owl and a disgusting expression on his face. I forgot to mention this.
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Dear Diary.
Every single time my father gets angry he takes it out on my mother because it gives him a ego boost. Even if he doesn’t have a control of the situation that is making him angry, he has a control of my mother because he treats her like a doormat. He constantly wants to dominate…
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Dear Diary.
I don’t know how to feel anymore. My own parents were jealous of me and tried their best to bring me down by playing games. They did so many things and fucked me up. Sometimes its overwhelming and gets to me even now. My mother said she did that to see me suffer and die.…
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My experience of Koramangala social (continued)
(Please refer https://rachanarajan.com/2024/04/20/my-experience-of-koramangala-social/ ) I feel so suffocated every time I go there because she clings to me the entire time till I enter the lift. She doesn’t understand space and boundary. When she asks a personal question, I avoid it and say I don’t want to answer, but she keeps repeating the question again…
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Pattern (continued)
I always think people are good and treat them as a good friend and share things, when it’s never mutual. Most of the time, they don’t have good intentions and don’t know the meaning of friendship. The solution is to be careful on whom to trust. I always allow people to dump their trauma on…
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Pattern.
I’ve noticed a pattern in my behaviour and I feel this is what I’m doing wrong. I continue to love people even after they hurt me and because I do this, their guilt makes them feel I taunt them indirectly (which I don’t) and they intentionally hurt me again and again, till I break. So…
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Dear Diary.
I always clearly mention that I don’t like a book/movie because I’m different, not because the book is bad. I try to forget a lot of things that happened to me by not thinking about it and when I come across such topics in book/movie/news I go into trauma. So I try my best to…
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Dear Diary.
Whenever my father gets angry he shouts at my mother and stamps on her and keeps her under his foot like a doormat, even when it’s not her fault. He says things like, “you go to the kitchen, you belong in the kitchen.” He is always demeaning her with his words. This is the malayali…
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Dear Diary.
Writing about something to do with my life is fine. But it should be done delicately, not in such a crude and triggering way. Also, when I have expressed my love for their work since the beginning, this feels like a personal attack. I honestly don’t know what to say or think anymore. I’m offended…
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Roar
Khaleesi says to Harry, “Let me take over from here, babe.” Taylor Swift sings, “The world moves on another day another drama, drama, not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma.” TO BE CONTINUED.
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Dear Diary.
It all started with Rachel bending down and showing the camera her boobs, I don’t know why she did that and I didn’t over think into it. Later she started calling me ugly. After that I kinda understood what happened and realised that she took personal meaning out of whatever I wrote in my blog…
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Dear Diary.
I had a panic attack last night because I was genuinely good to them and they did this to me, I didn’t see it coming. I’m not sure why people betray me this way when I’m always good to them. What they said didn’t affect me at all because I know I’m good and I…
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Dear Diary.
I read the new book of Emily Henry today and honestly, her book felt like a personal attack, so I DNFed it. I have spoken nothing but good about her books till now but if she decides to behave so low, I no longer consider her as my favorite author. I kinda lost my liking…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
When I was at 46 ounces few months ago, I turned my head and looked at a woman 2-3 times because she looked like someone I know and I was trying to place her. I was alone so I didn’t tell this to anyone and also, I don’t know what’s happening but I feel people…
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My experience with men (continued)
There was a person who lived next to my old house, let’s call him Amit Mathew, he was a really disgusting person. Initially it started with us being friends and I was okay with that. He asked me to go with him to the park every day and I would because he was my friend.…
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Toxic friends (continued)
Remember Mohapatra? Whenever she used to watch something traumatic and it use to fuck her up, she used to make me forcefully listen to the story, even if I tried to stop her. She would say she wants me to go through trauma because she went through trauma while watching it, that’s why she is…
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Dear Diary.
My parents have completely changed since past couple of days after I spoke my heart out here. So I guess it was all because of a lot of misunderstanding that they did what they did. They did mess up but I’m not judging them because it happens to the best of us. I messed up…
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Self Intervention cause no one else is there to do it.
I was on the verge of losing it while speaking to my therapist today. I have been sitting with whatever she said since. My life wasn’t easy and sometimes I randomly remember things and I sit in the mud with those thoughts and the mud turns into quick sand sucking me in so deep with…
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My experience with men (continued)
Do you remember Deepak GS? (refer prev blog https://rachanarajan.com/2024/02/05/my-experience-with-men-continued/) He also said things like, we should get married and fall in love after marriage, which tbh is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. He wanted to get married just for the sake of getting married. He assumed I was talking to him for his money,…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
During my school days dad’s mom passed away, I was taking bath and I told my mom I don’t want to attend the funeral (I’ve never liked funerals since childhood) and my mother took me out while I was naked and started hitting me with a long spoon in front of my aunt. .. While…
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Marriage and sex.
I’m going to be 33 years old and the older I grow I feel so does my maturity. (I’m just putting my thoughts here.) I was like every other person in India and I wanted to get married when I was 29 and I was okay with arrange marriage too. But as the days passed…
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I don’t want to attend a funeral again.
I was forcefully taken to my granny’s funeral because back then I didn’t have a choice. But now I do. I don’t want to attend a funeral ever again. Honestly, I hate what happens in India after someone dies. Initially, it’s everyone sitting in a room and crying followed by burning the body. Later feast…
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Dear Diary.
Sometimes I feel I’m speaking into the void. Because I’ve said and expressed many things and I find myself repeating it again and again, is it because people don’t understand it or they don’t want to understand, I’m not sure? People only see me standing up to shit and they choose to be blindsided about…
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Dear Diary.
There is finally peace at home. My parents aren’t doing anything these days and I’m glad about it. I don’t do anything much these days and I’m happy. I just want to do nothing for few more months. I wish I could live alone while I do that. I crave for space. My parents are…
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Dear Diary.
I listen to “look what you made me do”, “karma” etc everyday and pray every single day that karma should get voldemort, the death eaters and the dementors. I’m not going to do anything but I know for sure God will take care of it because I believe in Him. I’m not consumed by it…
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Toxic colleagues.
There was a person in Ministry, let’s call him Saurabh, he was really disgusting and he would only talk about sexual topics, even to married women. He called me once during covid to complain about all the people who didn’t respond to his messages/calls and other negative topics. So I deleted his number. He continuously…
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Self reflection.
I’m terrified of smart people. People who speak fluently and are extremely smart intimidate me. I never have a smart come back, it takes a lot of work and effort for me to reply to people who do. I usually become tongue tied and forget to speak in such situations. I take a lot of…
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Self reflection.
When something happens sometimes I don’t understand it because I wouldn’t have caused any harm intentionally. But I always think about what happened and where things could have gone wrong and if I did something wrong. Initially I react wrong but as the time passes I feel I get more insight on the situation. For…
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Dear Diary.
There is a set of songs I listen to everyday morning. These songs have nothing to do with my parents. Our house is tiny so I have to play these songs in front of them. I really hope my parents don’t think that I’m playing it for them because I’m not. Even if I was…
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My experience of Koramangala social.
(from Harry’s POV) Zomato is not publishing my review so I’m writing here. I spoke to a waitress there, her name is Sonu and I had the most disgusting experience ever. She has no sense of personal space, I go there with my book but she doesn’t give me space to read. I introduced her…
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Dear Diary.
I’ve never in my life spoken indirectly to anyone. (expect while writing here) Whatever people did and are still doing is not on me because I didn’t ask them to do it. Sometimes I don’t understand why they are continuing to do what they do, like gaslighting and everything because I’m aware of things now…
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Dear Diary.
I honestly despise Voldemort so much. All the misunderstandings in my life was created by her and her evilness and faulty perception. She created this fuck up and it carried on for so many years. I hate the death eaters too. They took advantage of the fuck up and used it for their evil deeds.…
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Dear Diary.
I’m not sure what happened to my mom. Last couple of years we were so close and she was my bestfriend. But since two years we started drifting apart because the current has been so strong. I’m not sure why my parents did what they did. I don’t know why my parents were desperate to…
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Dear Diary.
I really hope my parents stops playing games and hurting me continuously atleast now onwards. I’ve had a very tough life and I have no choice but to live in that house. I really hope they stop what they are doing and learn empathy and compassion. I just want to be. I hope they just…
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Accountability is attractive.
You know what’s attractive? When you confront someone because things have been bothering you and they say, “Yes I did that, I made a mistake and messed up and I know maybe sorry can’t fix it but I’m sorry and I will change because I care about you.” And this is followed by a changed…
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Elephant in the room (continued)
I do understand my mother, so I don’t completely hate her. I just want distance, that’s it. She is just not realising that she should stop trying to fuck sympathy and work on herself and behave maturely. Because maturity is what is valued not what she is doing. I just don’t want to be a…
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Elephant in the room.
My mother doesn’t react to things normally, she reacts dramatically to fuck sympathy. I’m not sure if the reality thing is still happening or if it has stopped because no one tells me anything, but if it is still happening, you need to know this is what my mother is doing. It fucks me up…
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Perception.
I don’t have perception problem. I’m normal and I’ve been normal my whole life. A bunch of evil people not ready to take accountability for their fuck ups doesn’t make my perception faulty.
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Dear Diary.
It’s 2.54AM. I’ve been awake since last three hours trying to think about everything and put my thoughts in order. I’m always a calm and happy person like how I am in my YouTube videos, but when I interact with people, most of the time I get disturbed. Because most people I’ve interacted with suck…
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Dear Diary.
I kept thinking I overreacted and what happened yesterday was my mistake. But the more I think about it, I don’t think it is. My parents have been commenting on my clothes all my life, before they used to hit me, verbally abuse me and my father stares at me when I get dressed and…
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Toxic friends (continued)
You know why I told you the conversation we had? Because I wanted to tell you how people react to confrontation. I confronted all her BS since day 1 to clear things and this is the conversation we had. I’m not sure why people suck at accountability and why they get offended by confrontation, instead…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Remember I told you about Surya from Ministry? (Refer prev Toxic friends blog) I decided to let go of what she did and called her to talk. I told her what happened in Ministry because I’m a fool and still consider people as my friend. She said, “I didn’t know anything that…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) This is just for my mom to read, everyone else please ignore. I had a friend at ministry, let’s call him rohit. He never calls me or texts me or puts any effort from his end to be friends with me, I’m the one who always texts, calls and makes the effort.…
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Note to readers.
Please ignore me. I’m sorry. I get too overwhelmed and anxious sometimes because of everything I’ve been through. I know I’m being repetitive. Just ignore. Enjoy your weekend. Take care. xx
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
I used to hate that girl KT, because she was really fake, manipulative and cunning. There was nothing sexual about leaning my head on her shoulder. People would have known if they would have just asked me. I used to hate Pooja Saunshimath too. She was a malicious, cunning and fake person. I didn’t invite…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
I’ve just hugged my friends like how Chandler hugs Rachel or Phoebe. I haven’t really done anything out of the ordinary. I’ve seen a lot of series and movies and I know for a fact that’s how people are abroad. I’ve stopped hugging people though after I realised how narrow minded people are here. Sometimes…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
Dhruv was a disgusting filthy minded pervert who only talks about sex when he opens his mouth. Also, he keeps turning his BS around and blaming me for things I didn’t do again and again. It is actually my mistake because I should have cut him off in the beginning itself when I got to…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
The only thing I did in the past was lean my head on that girl’s shoulder and hold her hand. I didn’t do anything else, if she said I did something else she is just fabricating the truth to frame me. I leaned my head on her shoulder because I was feeling extremely weak because…
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FYI.
I’m 33 years old and I’m an auntie to my two beautiful nieces. I know I’m an auntie and I also know I’m fucking hot. Being called an auntie doesn’t affect me, just an FYI. It might affect people who actually look like aunties and uncles. : )
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Note to Public.
I’ve explained every single thing about what happened and my life here. If people try to spead false things about me, you should be able to understand those are false rumours. People usually spread false rumours when they don’t want to take accountability for their fuck ups. That speaks more about their character and not…
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Spotlight (continued)
People might say, “You are extremely weird, you need help”. But was the help that was given the right kinda help or did it make things 100 times worse? Also, why was I behaving weird? Is it because I’m weird or was it a normal reaction to torture? I didn’t take care of my personal…
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Spotlight (continued)
I’m still talking about this rubbish because I was tortured that many times by people around me without anyone asking me bloody “what happened”. People need to understand their BS clearly. Hence I’m making it extremely clear. If there is BS, I’m going to speak about it because I’m not afraid anymore.
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Spotlight (continued)
My face might have been blank and expressionless because I was tortured continuously and I was trying my best to hold on. I haven’t really stared at anyone with that expressionless face because I was always lost and trying my best to stay alive. When people stare at me like owls when I go out,…
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Spotlight (continued)
In the past I was just in survival mode the entire time because of the assaults, harassments and domestic violence. I was kinda crazy too because of the constant torture. I wasn’t really interested in anyone except for the people I listed out.
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Spotlight (continued)
Everytime I go out, so many men and women keep looking at my cleavage, legs and face without blinking like an owl, but no one does anything to them for that. But just because I’m in the spotlight people make a big deal even if I casually look at people and call me a cat.…
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Note to Public.
There is not going to be any more videos or ideas or words of wisdom from me, till I’m given credit for my hard work. Everyone keeps copying my work and taking credit for my words when I’m treated as invisible. So there is not going to be any content going forward. Only if I…
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Dear Diary.
Do you remember the joker from Ministry? Yes, Mehta. He got back in touch with me (the audacity man) and he used words like love and infinity etc (gag). So anyway, I wasn’t interested and ignored him and he kept texting, so I sent him the song IDGAF by Dua Lipa and blocked him. There…
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The Betrayal (continued)
If Lucius and Lockhart liked each other, that wasn’t wrong but what they did to me to get there certainly was. The evilness, cruelty, fabrications, manipulations, cunningness, gaslighting, fakeness and malicious behaviour was wrong. And their audacity to reach out to me and asking me to meet them again and again and speaking as if…
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Note to Public.
If someone likes a color or book or anything I don’t like, well good for them. It doesn’t affect me or even bother me. Because I clearly start the sentences with “I” and it’s my personal choice and I don’t expect anyone to be like me or like or dislike things I like or dislike.…
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Dear Diary.
I’m tired of feeling used, exploited, helpless, controlled and abused. I’m asking for what I deserve and I worked hard for it. I’m not changing my mind.
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Dear Diary.
I don’t feel safe with women too. I’ve already explained many times that I’m not attracted to women in real life and still women continue to harass me. Imagine you are a straight woman and because of that, every man you meet expects you to like them and harass you, don’t you think that’s ridiculous,…
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Dear Diary.
I still love my parents no matter how messed up they are because I understand them and I know they are trying. Also because I’m not perfect either. I’m a mess too. I always keep them in my prayers and try to help and explain. But I don’t know, we get lost in translation all…
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Dear Diary.
After I dispose the razors that I use to shave my body, my mother collects it from the dustbin and my father uses it to shave his beard. I already fought with them 3 years ago for doing this. I fought with them constantly trying to make them understand how disgusting this is. And today…
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Dear Diary.
(trigger warning) I lost my will to live yesterday after I completely lost it at my parents. But I held on and kept it together. I asked my parents to just forget everything and bought flowers and made a garland for God, went out for walk and slept. I got up at night 3am and…
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Note to Public.
You need to understand that a lot of people I’v spoken to are fake and two faced, including my parents. I don’t know how to fake so I always speak my mind. I don’t cry anymore because I’ve learnt to handle situations without breaking down and I’ve learnt to give back the shit people give…
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Note to Public.
Unfortunately even now everyone just sees me standing up to years of BS and even now no one asks me what happened. I’ve proved myself multiple times but even now people hurt me continuously without talking to me and asking me things. I’m already successful but when I ask for what I deserve because I…
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Note to Public.
I don’t think anyone will plan going through so much pain, harassments and losing the love of their life. Because of this shit I have memory issues, anxiety and constant headaches. I didn’t cry after losing my job because I’m not capable of keeping it anyway. I was thinking of quitting. I don’t know what…
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Note to Public
I cannot relate to mastermind by Taylor Swift. I’m not sure why that song was written or what people want from me to do with it, but I can’t relate to it. Just because I survived shit and I’m still surviving shit doesn’t mean I planned it. I’m honestly fed up of everything. I’m done…
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Dear Diary.
I was feeling suicidal so I confronted my father for staring at my body and my mother attacked me for saying it and blamed me instead of blaming him. I called out their shit today. They have been constantly torturing me since I spoke about the domestic violence because they didn’t want to take accountability…
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It’s okay to hate (continued)
Don’t let it consume you. Also, never ever resort to violence. Focus on yourself and your goals, have fun and enjoy life. Let them take their guilt of hurting you till their death bed.
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It’s okay to hate (continued)
Don’t forgive easily. Let people face the consequences of their words, actions and shit. If you can’t forgive at all, don’t. Just make sure you don’t carry the burden of the hurt, let it go, find peace and indifference towards them.
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It’s okay to hate.
If someone caused severe trauma and betrayed me when I have nothing but loved them, it’s okay to despise them. They don’t deserve my forgiveness, love, care, attention or any of that. I pray karma gets them and then they become non existent to me. I don’t give a fuck about them. I won’t do…
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Apendix.
Songs for the mistakes (they don’t deserve the label exes) Bellatrix Lestrange – Karma, Look what you made me do, Vigilante Shit by Taylor Swift. Gilderoy Lockhart – I forgot that you existed by Taylor Swift Phycho divorcee – Abcdefu by Gayle The guy with the ugly dick – Don’t start now by Dua Lipa…
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Dear Diary.
(from Harry’s POV) Things were a bit unstable because of my mother after I lost my job. I could handle it but my mom made rasam out of the situation as always. As I said before, she is always in a constant battle to gain sympathy and she will go to any extent, I’m afraid.…
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You don’t owe anyone anything (continued)
If you love that person and are willing to make it work, just remember one thing, the effort should be from both ends only then it’s going to work. Otherwise it’s like you are either pushing a huge tree which is rooted in place with your bare hands or you’re going round in circles in…
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You don’t owe anyone anything.
It took me a life time to learn this. If you are friends with someone and they say something inappropriate or hurt you intentionally or does something against what you believe in and your values, there is absolutely nothing wrong in cutting ties with that person. It doesn’t matter even if you have a history…
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Roar (continued)
(fanfic) Harry gets targetted and terminated for no fault of his by Ministry. It didn’t hurt him because he wanted to quit anyway but he is just disappointed at Ministry. Harry, “I lost my job because other people need therapy. I don’t regret my reaction to BS.” Khaleesi, “Is Ministry God Harry?” Harry, “No.” Khaleesi,…
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My parents make rasam out of simple conversations. (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) I don’t know how to say this by sugar coating anymore, but my parents are psychotic and dysfunctional. I can never have a simple conversation with my parents, ever. Every conversation is made into rasam and ends up in fight. I’m not exaggerating, every simple conversation becomes a fight in my family.…
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My parents make rasam out of simple conversations.
(from Harry’s pov) My company has been torturing me since 2 years for something that started because of their mistake. Things have been getting out of hand since a month and I have been feeling suicidal constantly, the reasons being, a) I’m unable to stop my meds because of withdrawal symptoms. b) The constant harassments…
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Spotlight.
(from Harry’s POV) There are so many people out there who do things that might be stranger than me but since I’m in the spotlight I’m targeted, spoken about and things I do are broken down into minuscule pieces. There are so many colleagues who are in the same position without any growth for years…
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Dear Diary.
(from Harry’s POV) No matter how many times or ways I express it, my father’s eyes are always on my body. I’m not talking about the intention but if something is making me uncomfortable, it is valid. I’ve expressed it in many ways since last couple of years now and he still does it and…
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Dear Diary.
(from Harry’s POV) Why do I feel guilty when I hurt someone back after they hurt me? Maybe they deserve what I say because they caused severe trauma and I should not cry when I hurt them. Maybe I should not think about them or even apologize because they didn’t apologize for their harsh words.…
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Note to Public.
(from Harry’s POV) I feel exploited, used, abused and harassed. My life was also ruined because of this. Understand what is being done is wrong and please stop this for the love of God.
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Note to Public.
(from Harry’s POV) Taking videos of someone without their knowledge and consent and then reacting to it online is illegal and inhuman. Reading their personal messages is the same. Just understand that what is happening to me is inhuman and cruel. Everyone has a right to privacy and mine is invaded no matter what the…
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Note to Public (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) I cannot relate to Husn by Anuv Jain in any way. I really don’t know why that edit is overused for me because that’s not what happened. I’m not going to over explain anymore. Please just move on.
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Note to Public.
(from Harry’s POV) If something someone says feels like a personal attack, I’m just going to stop watching their content and unfollow or block. I don’t think I have any unconditional love left in me. I’m kinda tired. I’m human too. As for the people who make fun of me online, I pray to God…
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Spotify is one of the best thing that’s happened to me.
Maybe kids of today’s generation might not understand this. One thing about me is, I’ve always loved music immensely. Growing up when I was living in the cupboard under the stairs, we didn’t have internet but I had a computer and I would load music on it through a borrowed pen drive. That’s when my…
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Roar.
(fanfic) Harry and Khaleesi are sitting in Harry’s room waiting for Ministry’s response. Harry, “Should we do something now?” Khaleesi, “No, let’s wait for their response to make the next move.” There’s fire in their beautiful innocent eyes. Katy Perry sings, “You held me down, but I got up, already brushing off the dust. You…
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The Sorting Hat.
(fanfic) Khaleesi is sitting at 46 ounces eating soup and talking to Sorting Hat. Khaleesi, “Which house do I belong to?” Sorting Hat, “You’ll do good in Slytherin you know?” Khaleesi, “You sure?” There is a rustling noise next to the tree. She looks at her rose gold watch and smiles. It’s the time when…
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Politics at Ministry (continued)
(fanfic) Harry is in his room typing away on his laptop since quite some time now. He is okay now because he has learnt how to give back the shit people gave him and he emotionally stable too (thanks to therapy!!). But there is something missing in his blogs, rather someone. Harry gets up and…
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Politics at Ministry.
(from Harry’s POV) A lot of people did a lot of BS at Ministry. I was harassed since day 1 by my colleagues. I have been constantly harassed 2 years by the company even though I told them I was sick and not in a condition to look for another job. I was constantly harassed…
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Note.
If you like a color or don’t like a color because it suits you or doesn’t suit you, well good for you. It doesn’t really matter to me nor am I going to impose my opinion on you like a toddler. I think that just shows my maturity level.
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Note.
(from harry’s POV) I said I don’t look good in white because it doesn’t suit my face. I don’t know why everyone are wearing that to show me? So childish :D I just find it funny because people are behaving like a 2 year old. Grow up and respect people’s opinion and choices.
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) After I confronted mom and sis for their BS, they started blaming my perception to escape their shit and mom physically attacked me and I had anxiety for 1 week.
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) After I bought the apartment, I went to my sis’s house and told her, looking after our parents is both our responsibility and asked her to send some money to dad every month and she asked me to get out of her house. .. Whenever I’m in the middle of work or…
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) During my 11th, a girl from my college pressed my boobs and I was extremely disturbed and re told the incident to my so called school friends and they started laughing. .. During the chaos I was trying to study for the exam and while I was studying, my sister manhandled me…
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Dear Diary.
(from harry’s POV) How do I tell people that if I said I had a crush on someone, it does not mean I still like them and crushes are temporary? I correct my dad when he sneezes like a caveman in our tiny apartment because it disgusts me. It doesn’t mean when I’m watching YouTube…
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Perception problem?
(from Harry’s POV) I don’t know if I have a perception problem. But I do know that a lot of people try to escape the shit that they did to me by blaming my perception. Tbh, everyone in this world has a different perception. Everyone is different with different minds. It’s just because I had…
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Hello? *echo*
(from Harry’s POV) I don’t know if anyone is listening? I really want to make YouTube as my full time job. It makes me feel alive every time I do it. I feel a sense of joy when I do it and write these fanfics. It doesn’t drain me to do this no matter how…
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Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
(fanfic) Naina has been restless so she tells Kabir everything on her mind. (Ghosted) Few days pass. (She doesn’t remember how many because she has lost track of time) She is walking on the road hugging her arms listening to music on her old school white earphones, the singer is in pain and sings, “You’ll…
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Compromise and finding ways to exist while at it.
(from Harry’s POV) I’m more than familiar with the word compromise (more than you think). From compromising that my chance to a normal life was ruined to compromising each day every day staying with my family. But I try to make the best out of it by living in my world, which tbh is my…
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Where it all started.
(from Harry’s POV) I went to the Krishna temple on my parents birthday, the place where my love for God started. However broken my parents were in their young age, it was mostly because we didn’t come from money and lived in a small space as small as the cupboard under the stairs, they believed…
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Author’s Note.
Let’s pretend that the last few blogs didn’t happen (I’ve deleted them). Take care. Love you. Rach : )
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Author’s Note. (edited)
I’m about to play my ace. If you’re taking personal meaning out of my fanfics, which is a work of fiction, then you’re delusional my friend because you don’t have any “proof”, my dear Dumbledore can confirm it for you. Aaand checkmate. : )
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) Few years ago when the domestic violence was at it’s peak, I said to James and Lily, “I want to die because I cannot take your torture anymore” and James said, “please die”.
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Somethings I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) .. During my high school, one of my classmate committed suicide. All of us were upset and crying and one of my teacher, let’s call her vishnu priya, she said she didn’t expect that person to die and she pointed at me and said “if she had died it would make sense”.…
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Negative and Positive crap.
Honestly I hate people who use these words. When someone has cancer or any other disease and they are suffering and they speak about it and talk about their journey online, will anyone label that person as negative? I don’t think so and if they do, that person is absolutely inhuman and cruel. I have…
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Some things I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) When I used to mastrubate when I was young, I had no clue what I was doing. The only person I used to talk to was God and I kept asking him what is this? and I used to tell him it’s our secret. I used to think of only kissing scenes.…
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My thoughts at midnight.
It’s close to midnight and there are so many thoughts running on my mind. To begin with, I keep thinking it’s such a privilege to live a long and healthy life. I saw a beautiful old lady the other day with salt and pepper hair and blue highlights in between and I thought to myself…
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Note.
(from Harry’s POV) I think I’m not given the credit because I’m not capable of handling the enormity of it, which I feel is true because I think I know how big this has become. I’m really not sure what to do or how to go about it because I’m struggling to keep my job…
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Somthings I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) Lucius used to call me sometimes after the betrayal and indirectly hurt me brutally and directly say things like “I want to meet you, can we meet”. I think now I know why he did that. I think it was because our conversation wasn’t private and he is a manipulative mother fucker.…
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Medical gaslighting.
(from Harry’s POV) Almost 11 years ago, I was taken to Dumbledore because of the immense BS that happened because of Voldemort and her faulty perception. Dumbledore started giving me medication without asking me a single question and without any facts or evidence and continued giving me the medication for 11 years based on his…
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Some things I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) Remember I told you about the incident where my cousin brother pointed at me in a room full of people and called me ugly. After he did that, I went inside the room where my grandma was laying down and I was crying. I don’t know if she heard what happened, but…
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Some things I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) I just remembered that I even sang in front of the whole class in my childhood. I don’t remember when things changed though. My experience with men (continued) I faked a lot in the past and have said to men that I liked them, when in reality I didn’t. I always felt…
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Note.
(from Harry’s POV) I feel like I’m talking to a stone wall sometimes because nothing seems to change but I’m going to say it anyway. I’m sorry but I have to address the elephant in the room because maybe unless I speak it, no one will know. What happens when I interact with people these…
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Questions I think about sometimes.
Is it really necessary for a janitor to wear a jumpsuit kind of uniform which looks super uncomfortable? Isn’t the work that they are doing uncomfortable to begin with? Do we need an uniform to add to that? The whole point of a watchman is to sit and protect us, so why are they given…
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Invest in your employees.
A lot of things go unnoticed and is not given much importance to, but I think otherwise. When I look at the people working as waiters, bus drivers and conductors, cab and auto drivers and so on, you know the people who are bound to wear an uniform for work, I feel they are not…
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What is even delusional?
(from Harry’s POV) It’s 5.36AM and I’ve been thinking about things ’cause what is sleep :P I keep wondering why everyone uses the word delusional, it doesn’t make sense to me at all, tbh. I still don’t get why Barbie is delusional because she seemed normal to me. If I have to be very honest…
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Note.
(from Harry’s POV) Please just give it to me. I really can’t live with my parents anymore. I love them most times, but I don’t have it in me to hear them bicker all the time anymore, I’ve reached the end of my rope. I’m grateful and happy but I find myself compromising a lot…
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Note.
(from Harry’s POV) I always wished for a normal life, but that doesn’t mean people should go against the force of nature and create it for me. Whatever is done is done and nothing can change that. I know everything and there is no point whatsoever to live in a lie anymore. Also, I don’t…
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Some things I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) I remember talking to everyone in school up until 2nd-3rd grade. I used to sing and talk non stop but I was bullied continuously. Kids used to make fun of everything I did and I don’t remember when I stopped interacting with them and started getting lost in my own world. I…
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Some things I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) Toxic friends (continued) I used to go to a tuition near my old house and I was the smarted kid there. But people used to try to bring me down even then. When I would make friends there, others (let’s call them anjali menon, swetha and some other made up names) would…
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Some things I forgot to tell you.
(from Harry’s POV) Domestic abuse (continued) Growing up Harry’s brother wanted everything to be shared equally between them. If Lily would give Harry little bit more chicken, his brother would throw everything on the table and smear the chicken on Harry’s face. James Potter wanted everything according to his whims and wishes, if there was…
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Note.
(from Harry’s POV) I don’t understand why I’m not given credit for my work when I’m repetitively asking for it. Also, it’s well deserved because it’s my words and ideas that’s being repeated by everyone and I’m the one who is making the positive changes. I really don’t understand the point of being gaslighted as…
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Note.
(from Harry’s POV) I don’t want a normal life anymore. I want a life where I’m not gaslighted and everything happens conventionally. I want credit for my work. I’m done living in a lie.
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Note.
(from Harry’s POV) I honestly don’t know why people gaslight me even now? I don’t understand the point of it anymore. I don’t understand why people ask me questions to which they already know the answer. I really don’t understand why people repeat my words and advice back to me, I don’t think anyone would…
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Note.
(from Harry POV) When someone is financially and emotionally ready to have children and 100% sure they are capable of handling the challenges that will arise, they should be allowed to have children. These are the only factors that should be checked when someone wants children and not if they are married or not married,…
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Find your spark (continued)
If you are trying out something new and it doesn’t work out, don’t worry. What matters is that you tried and you gained an experience. :)
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What healed me.
(from Harry’s POV) Most of the time when I’m going through something difficult, I get through it because I know how to heal myself. I feel over the years I’ve got a hang of how to do that. I’ve also learnt a lot of things by experience. The most important thing I’ve learnt is that…
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It’s time to re think empathy.
(from Harry’s POV) Sometimes I feel people get empathy all wrong. No, I do get the gesture and the intention behind it and everything. But I think to myself, is that empathy really necessary? Calling someone/something else crazy in front of me so that I feel better about myself? I mean when you think about…
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Forgiveness
(from Harry’s POV) And just like that I forgave my family. How did it happen? Well, it didn’t happen over night, I can tell you that. It took a lot of strength and love. I have come to realize that it’s human to make mistakes, as long as the mistakes are not severe, it can…
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Find your spark.
A lot of things has been on my mind lately. I’m going to give you an unsolicited advice. (It might be solicited because you clicked on this post with your own fingers and will :P) Sometimes when I see someone working super hard in their job (a job that is mentally exhausting and takes up…
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I’m really mean.
(from Harry POV) No, I really am mean. When someone hurts me to a point where I break, I kill them with my words. I’m absolutely ruthless when someone causes severe damage. I hurt them every time I’m hurt and I remember what happened. I hurt them continuously, every time I’m fucked thinking about what…
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Message for people in my past.
(from Harry’s POV) No amount of sorry can fix what you did, I’m not going to forgive you. I do not have any unconditional love for you and you have to live with the guilt of hurting me for the rest of your life, that’s your punishment. The only people I will and have forgiven…
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My experience with men (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) I dated a man last year, let’s call him deepak gs. He doesn’t know anything about dating, that’s what I have concluded after talking to him. He kept talking continuously for one month without asking me a single question about anything. He would keep talking. Everything was about him and his things.…
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Some things that happened to me recently.
(from Harry’s POV) So I was sitting in a cafe and minding my own business. I was listening to music and working and also, eating. I looked up and right opposite to my table there was a man and a women sitting and working. It was a long table with plug points and everything and…
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Harry’s Message.
(from Harry’s POV) I’ve already said and explained everything. I don’t care much if people believe me or not anymore. As long as I believe in myself and God believes in me, that’s enough. I know for sure God will take care of everything. God will give people who did me wrong their karma, even…
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Harry’s Message.
(from Harry’s POV) I don’t have anger issues, it is just a normal reaction to shit load of bullshit.
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Dear God.
(from Harry’s POV) God please give me money to live alone. I can’t do this anymore. Please open the eyes of people who are doing this because I want my money. I have had a very difficult life, I cannot compromise everyday anymore.
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Things I try my best to forget.
(fanfic) .. Voldemort speaking in front of everyone in so called “empathy” and whispering in my ear that she is talking about me and smiling. .. Lucius telling me indirectly she likes Lockhart because he is successful and she is pursuing him and smiling. .. The rape and sexual assaults. .. My father staring at…
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The kinda help I really want.
(from Harry’s POV) If anyone really wants to empathize and help me what I really want is, a) I want my personal space and privacy in my house and when I’m speaking to my therapist and friends. b) I do not wish to be gaslighted in any form. c) I want to live alone in…
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Welcome to shitty reality show.
(fanfic) The protagonist made it clear that it is done without her consent and if it still continuous the person responsible should know it is illegal. Everything Mother India does is an act. She cries and creates a scene. Hitler father and Mother India creates a plan to continuously trigger the protagonist mentally, so that…
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Author’s Note.
I think I’m getting stuck in a loop. (aaahhh!! brb, while I go jump in the river.) So sorry. I need to work on it. Thank you for patiently sticking with me. love you. xx.
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Author’s Note.
I keep forgetting that I’m addressing a larger audience and write all stupid things sometimes. Please ignore me.
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The Unforgivable Curses. (continued)
(fanfic) Khaleesi wakes up from her hibernation. She gets up from her bed and sits on the chair and takes a sip of the coffee. She logs in to her laptop and opens the blog where Harry has been writing all these months and types, “Baby, let the games begin”. TO BE CONTINUED.
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The Unforgivable Curses. (continued)
(fanfic) In the end he grew up and gained an understanding. The world taught him to hate and he despises Voldemort and the death eaters. He knows for sure, they are going to burn in hell for their sins. Even if they don’t get their karma on earth, God has his ways of giving it…
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Apology Letter (continued)
I don’t want anyone I love to think I hurt them, because I would never do that intentionally. I think everything is going wrong because of the way I’ve been speaking. I’m sorry for hurting everyone unintentionally. It is really my mistake because Ive been speaking wrong, I think? Or it could be Voldemort’s faulty…
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The Unforgivable Curses.
(fanfic) This is the tale of how Harry Potter survived the three unforgivable curses. His life was controlled by the Imperius Curse and he was totured with the Cruciatus Curse and then he was hit with Avada Kedavra. How did he survive time and time again? What is his superpower? How does he keep going…
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Apology Letter (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) One more thing is that since everyone talks to me in a certain way, they think I’m doing it too, which is not true because I really honest to God don’t have that capability. The only thing I did was to love and forgive people even after they hurt me continuously. Because…
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Apology Letter (continued)
I think I’m supposed to stop loving people who hurt me and not wait for them to hurt me 100 times till I break down. I think everything is my fault and I created all the confusion.
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Apology Letter.
(from Harry’s POV) I’ve been thinking and reflecting on a lot of things lately because I have had a lot of free time and I haven’t really been speaking to anyone. First and foremost, I want to apologize to everyone who might have taken personal meaning out of my blogs or anything I would have…
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Death (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Even if God calls me today, I won and my legacy is going to haunt the people who hurt me till their last breath. You can’t destroy a person who has God with them. (Alexa play Look what you made me do by Taylor Swift)
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Favorite Quotes from Harry Potter.
” Even if people didn’t see what you did, God saw it, God will give you your karma ” – Harry. ” To everyone who benefited out of my helplessness by spreading false things about me when I had nothing but good intentions for you, karma is on your scent like a bounty hunter, mark…
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Everything, everything.
(fanfic) Madeline was living in a lie her whole life. She isn’t sick. After she realised everything that happened, she is unable to come in terms with how evil and selfish people in her life were. They didn’t think twice before destroying her life. They didn’t think twice before ruining her reputation. She lost Olly…
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Harry’s Note.
(from Harry’s POV) I’ve been in a lot of confusion and trauma after meeting Dumbledore last week because of the immense gaslighting and the trauma that followed at home messed with my mind. I’m sorry about the last few blogs. I was a mess and that showed in my blogs I guess. (I have deleted…
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Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes (continued)
(fanfic) If you were wondering what Harry said to Khaleesi. .. Harry reaches out to his brother’s wife in the middle of the betrayal for help when he was constantly feeling suicidal and she tells him, his brother and her are busy and he should not call them and he will never get a job…
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Author’s Note.
If you’re taking personal meaning out of my fanfics, which is a work of fiction, then you’re delusional my friend, my dear Dumbledore can confirm it for you. : )
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Mic Drop.
“There will be no further explanation. There will just be reputation.” – Taylor Swift. (plays Fight Song by Rachel Platten)
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Scene 1.
(fanfic) Dumbledore doesn’t accept his mistakes and ruthlessly medically gaslights Harry. He tries his best to manipulate. Harry tears the prescription into million pieces and throws it and screams “go fuck yourself” and walks out. He leaves no proof behind. END OF THE SCENE. .. SCENE 2. Lily Potter tries her best to manipulate to…
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To do list.
(from Harry’s POV) Things I’ll do after I become a YouTuber: (in order) Things I’ll do after I get over my fear of traveling solo.
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Reflection.
(from Harry’s POV) I’ve been out on dates a lot last few years. I’ve met men who are extremely wealthy with luxury cars and are doing exceptionally well in their career, but do you want to know something? They don’t even know how to hold a conversation and they treat people and women poorly and…
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Message to Harry.
(from Khaleesi’s POV) Now you know how I killed them. I left out all the gory details because you don’t like violence. As for what happened to Umbrige, the centaurs might be able to draw you a violence free picture. I will be hibernating in my castle for the Christmas break, I badly need some…
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The flying panda?
(fanfic) Draco Malfoy is having lunch at a restaurant. He has a dead expression on his face and really doesn’t know how to smile. He looks constipated AF as always. Khaleesi walks into the restaurant wearing a fucking hot black backless satin dress. She has paired it with flats (obviously). She walks up to him…
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Death (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Also, I don’t crave sex, so I don’t think I’m missing out on anything. This is loud message for everyone who hurt me and probably for people who are secretly wishing that I die. No matter what problems I have, at the end of the day, I ll always heal myself. And…
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Death (continued)
(From Harry’s POV) I’m also happy I was able to give my parents their own house and enough money to live comfortably till God calls them. I’m not interested in luxury, cars, millions of dollars or fame. So it’s okay that I don’t have it. I have peace, values and beliefs which is priceless. I…
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Death.
(from Harry’s POV) When God calls me to Him, whenever that is, I ll go with the satisfaction of knowing that I proved my innocence. I ll go knowing that I have never hurt anyone intentionally other than retaliating. I always treated my body like a temple and didn’t have any vices. I was lucky…
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Boundaries.
(from Harry’s POV) When I set boundaries and put myself first, people will get offended and maybe they will dislike me because they are so used to treating me like a doormat. But the thing I keep reminding myself is, I don’t need to walk on fire for people who wouldn’t do the same for…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) (This is only for my mom everyone else please ignore) I tried making a friend in my apartment, Let’s call him Naidu. From day 1, he started giving me unsolicited advises, when I didn’t go asking for it. He would stop me every single day to complain about how many people smile…
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Mom.
(from Harry’s POV) I guess I can’t say this to you directly because it’s better to leave the topic for now, but I want you to know this. I’m sorry for hurting you today, I feel awful. I’m struggling a lot, some things I don’t show or even write on my blog. I know you…
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Reality.
(fanfic) The protagonist has nothing against her family. She loves them most days, some days it is difficult. She knows it’s the same for them as well. She just wants and prays to God for freedom and space everyday. She is tied in place because of money and that’s it. She prays to God she…
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The story of the dog and the stones (continued)
Author’s Note : Harry is throwing the shit Dumbledore threw at him, back on his face. I guess people misunderstand me if I don’t explain, so just explaining.
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Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes
(fanfic) Harry is sitting with Khaleesi in his room. They are talking about his sister in law (let’s call her Anu) and everything that she did to him. Harry keeps his head on the table and sighs tiredly. Khaleesi rolls her eyes and says, “That egoistic maniac. I know what to do.” .. Khaleesi walks…
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Reality TV.
(fanfic) Videos are taken without the protagonist’s consent and knowledge. Information is shared without her consent and knowledge. Mother India is calculative, cunning and manipulative and tries her best to trigger the protagonist to gain sympathy and is extremely enthusiastic to talk to her whereas under normal circumstances she is emotionally unavailable and verbally abuses…
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Self love.
(from Harry’s POV) I’m no longer going to walk on fire to keep other people comfortable. I’m going to let people face the consequences of their words and actions. I’m going to put myself first, always and forever, going forward and keep the selflessness to a limit and only to those who deserve it. Period.
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The story of the dog and the stones (continued)
(fanfic) Harry, “Also, your mental health is not important cause you are an animal, I will ruthlessly gaslight you and I won’t care even if you are suicidal or break down, but I won’t admit I’m wrong.” “Everything is your delusion Dumbledore.” THE END.
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The story of the dog and the stones (continued)
(fanfic) Harry, “I was not talking about you Dumbledore. It’s something else.” Dumbledore looks at Harry with wide eyes and reaches for the bottle on his table and drinks water. Harry continues, “I will continue writing such stories but if you feel like I’m talking about you and you are taking personal meaning out of…
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Skadoosh
(fanfic) Khaleesi and Padfoot are standing outside 4 Privet Drive. Khaleesi is wearing a fucking hot grey tube top with black short skirt and grey trainers. She has paired it with a brown cardigan. Padfoot is snuggling Khaleesi’s leg. Khaleesi smiles and says, “Sirius focus.” Padfoot starts barking. Dudley runs out of the house to…
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Void.
(from Harry’s POV) I’ve realized that I’m normal. I don’t think I have schizophrenia. I’m really confident of this. That brief moment of doubt of being poisoned seems like something that I was just afraid of because of all the pressure that was put on my mind. The anger and frustration that everyone apparently saw…
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Midnight.
(fanfic) Harry gets up from sleep in the middle of the night. He wears his glasses and takes his phone to see the time. It’s 4.16am. He isn’t sleepy anymore to go back to sleep. There are certain thoughts that is running on his mind. He calls Captain Marvel. “Hey Captain, are you busy?” “I’m…
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Message (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Abandoning a trans child is what should be made illegal, not same sex marriage.
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Message (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) I feel if you are offended about the LGBT comment, instead of attacking me, you should take that as a fuel to stand up to the government and ask them to make same sex marriage legal and give equal rights to transgender. I’m not sure why you are keeping quiet about these…
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Censored fanfic
(fanfic) Harry is sitting in the training room at Ministry with other wizards. There is a training going on of button cells or something but Harry isn’t focusing because it is taken by the Dementor who hurt him. She is trying to bury the evidence of what happened to save her ass. There is a…
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:(
(from Harry’s POV) When Taylor makes a video like “look what you made me do”, “bad blood”, “vigilante shit”, everyone knows who she is talking about it. But when I write something similar aiming my enemies why is the public getting offended. Guys please, I love you, I’ve said it many times. Please don’t make…
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Author’s Note.
I guess the whole world was really narrow minded about LGBT community, based on what I’ve read in books and seen on TV, up until couple of years ago. I’m living in India so I can only speak about India and what I’ve experienced here. I haven’t traveled anywhere, so I really don’t know how…
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Insecure.
(from Harry’s POV) Another reason for you to be delusional to personalize the message for people in my past might be, C) you’re guilty for blaming me, hence you are well deserving of that message. Instead of saying sorry and correcting your mistake, if you’re attacking me, it shows a lot about your character my…
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Insecure
(from Harry’s POV) If you are delusional to take personal meaning out of the things I spoke about people in my past then, A) you need to see a psychiatrist cause you probably have schizophrenia. B) you need to see a therapist to learn to be secure in your own skin. The person who called…
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Author’s note
I don’t know why, I have to over explain each and every thing I say to this extent, like to minuscule detail every single time. I don’t know why, when I aim at the people in my past and stand up for myself on a blog and say something about them, the world gets offended…
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Message for anyone who wants to be my friend.
(from Harry’s POV) If you are interested in being my friend, please please don’t empathize with me about things I don’t talk to you about indirectly, don’t help me with things I don’t talk to you about indirectly, don’t talk to me indirectly or by giving examples at any given point of time. The only…
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Cycle
(from Harry’s POV) I’m sure everyone are well aware of the messages I send people I don’t like and have hurt me immensely. That’s what I do when I don’t like someone. I do not taunt and keep them in my life or watch their videos etc. When I hate someone, its directly to the…
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Cycle.
(from Harry’s POV) I’m writing this as Harry Potter fanfic because I wanted to throw back the shit people around me threw at me. When I’m talking about something in my blog, I’m addressing only the people I’ve interacted with in the past or currently. I give them a character and talk about them, I…
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Cycle.
(from Harry’s POV) If someone empathizes or addresses me indirectly, they kinda have that guilt in their mind and they feel I’m doing it too, when I really don’t. It’s kinda like a vicious cycle created by Voldemort. I’m unable to break it. I don’t speak indirectly. I’m always direct, when I hate someone, I…
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Self Respect.
(From Harry’s POV) I’m done losing my self respect and going to places where I’m not welcomed and invited. I’ve done that enough in my past. I understood what happened in social today and I refuse to go there again unless I receive an apology. The person at the counter of Starbucks called me crazy.…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) I forgot to tell you. Tayenjam is so sex obsessed she walks in front of men so that they stare at her ass and she has dedicated WhatsApp groups for sexual content. She had a manager at Ministry who looked at her 2-3 times and she kept telling me continuously that he…
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Perspective.
(from Harry’s POV) People have a free pass to behave however shitty they want to and do whatever the fuck they want to do and blame it on my perception. Lets all blame it on his mind and save our asses, shall we?
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Delusion
(from Harry’s POV) When I step out, I’ve seen so many people stare at me and even casually look at me. Even my friends keep looking at my face while talking. Some people turn their head and look at me and so many men and women stare at my body. Just because people stare at…
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Trust.
(from Harry’s POV) Recently I called Gilderoy Lockhart to give him a piece of my mind and he started talking to me like I’m his long lost friend (that ass). He wanted to stay in touch but it was affecting me badly to even talk to him or have casual conversation with him. I wanted…
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Message (continued)
(from Khaleesi’s POV) If Indian citizens are getting offended by what I said, please prove me wrong by making same sex marriage legal and giving transgender equal rights. Go on. Waiting…….
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Criticism (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) The people who say things like, “I don’t sit in the shit and talk about what people did to me” “I am not negative to carry baggage” “I am always positive” “I am this” “I am that” Have you gone through the same shit I went through my love? No? Then your…
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Person of the year.
(from Harry’s POV) This is so well deserved. Taylor is the most humble, talented, thoughtful, caring celebrity that I know. I absolutely admire how smart she is. She is in the throne ruling the world, as she should because she has always been our queen and we are proud each day. She has always spoken…
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Message for uncles and aunties (continued)
(from Khaleesi’s POV) This is a message only for the people who pointed finger at Harry and blamed him. If you are getting offended by this message, you’re probably guilty for it, just saying.
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Also, the so called “friend”, let’s call her Tayenjam, she used to say she wants to fuck women and used to force me to send bikini pics of my female friends. Later she would call the same friends ugly. She was mentally off, tbh. She was really desperate to have sex. She…
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Message for uncles and aunties (continued)
(from Khaleesi’s POV) Understand what you are before you point finger at him. You are a narrow minded piece of buffalo shit whose face look like you are fucking constipated 247. India is really narrow minded when it comes to LGBTQ community. I’m saying this because of the amount of bullshit I’ve experienced and seen…
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Message for uncles and aunties (continued)
(from Khaleesi’s POV) (message for uncles and aunties continued) That poor boy cant even see without his glasses and he recently started wearing it. And the amount of BS you uncles and aunties threw at his face because of his different childhood, GOD. I hope Karma burns you alive in the Hell where you belong.…
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Message for uncles and aunties (continued)
(from Khaleesi’s POV) Also, you are delusional if you feel Harry ever stared at your creepy faces. Just because he had a different childhood doesn’t mean you can spread any false bullshit about him and people will conveniently believe your crap. Have a close look at the mirror before you open your disgusting filthy mouth.…
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Shrieking Shack.
(fanfic) Sirius Black and Harry are having coffee at the shrieking shack. There are candies on the table and a decorated Christmas tree at the corner. Harry, “People I knew are so psychotic, they twist and turn things around and fabricate the truth.” Sirius sips his coffee and says, “I’m sorry that bad things have…
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If they don’t respect you, ask for it (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) There is a lot of manipulation and politics going on even now at Ministry. And I forgot to tell you, they kept constantly asking everyone I spoke to to tell me they are quitting to make me quit and you wanna know something? they are still bloody working here. There was so…
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Message for uncle and aunties (continued)
(from Khaleesi’s POV) Awww uncles and aunties, you felt bad because I called you a buffalo? I’m so sorry even buffaloes are cuter than you :)
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Message for uncles and aunties.
(from Khaleesi’s POV) This is only for the people who hurt Harry. You know who you are. Everyone else, please please ignore. I hear you and I see you. Also, love you =)
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Progress.
(from Harry’s POV) I guess progress is not a line going up. I was doing really well and sometimes because of certain incidents I take two steps back. Because my trauma resurfaces. I need to work on myself and I am constantly trying and doing that. Its really not in my control what happens and…
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Where are you Hermione?
(fanfic) Dear Diary, I’m sorry, it’s really traumatic to be blamed for being attracted to someone when you really don’t see them like that. It brings back so many unpleasant past memories. I’m trying so much to make peace with this. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I’m sorry. I’m just tired. .. Harry puts…
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Physical compatibilty (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) The psycho divorcee is a gang lord, so I have been afraid to speak up about him and his evil deeds. I pray that God keeps me safe from these death eaters and dementors, now that I have stripped them off their masks.
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Physical compatibilty (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Also, I told you about the condom incident with the psycho divorcee. He mentally scrutinized me not just in bed but otherwise as well. He was as deranged as the deranged rapist Bellatrix Lestrange. He used to watch porn to get hard, instead of foreplay and directly put his fucked up dick…
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Physical compatibility.
(from Harry’s POV) From the limited experience I have with sex and foreplay, I can tell you one thing, physical compatibility is important and vital. The only time I had sex was with a psychotic psychopath, I’m saying psycho twice because calling him psycho once doesn’t describe how mentally off he was. Even a psychiatrist…
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Message for the uncles and aunties.
(From Khaleesi’s POV) I saw the number of times you uncles and aunties blamed Harry for being attracted to your faces. Harry has been feeling angry again because his so called “friend” thought he played lover by Taylor Swift for his face. Everyone who knows Harry, knows lover is for Ginny and no one else…
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Harry’s Note
I’m writing each and every detail about everyone here because people tend to spread BS about me when they are at fault and wizarding world conveniently believe that BS because I’m different. Also, if tomorrow I decide to stand up for myself and callout their shit, I don’t want everyone to push me down again…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) (Note: I’m writing this for my mom because she always assumes it’s my fault that I loose friends and never asks me what happened, everyone else please ignore) I started talking to Dhruv again, he told me he is attracted to me that’s why he avoided me last time and we sorted…
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The window.
It’s 00:34AM, the blinds are open and there is a faint light pouring into the room through the window from the lamppost outside. I’m listening to music using my old-school earphones. I’m listening to that song, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard it. The words of that song is making my heart…
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Dear God.
(from Harry’s POV) Please forgive me if I’m hurting people and my family by saying these things. But I feel after a certain age, moving out is the best thing a child can do. It might not be common in India, but I strongly feel this. We need to learn to be independent and look…
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Dear God.
(from Harry’s POV) Please give me enough money to buy a house for my parents and stay alone in my apartment. I want this more than anything God. It’s only money that’s tying me in this situation I don’t want to be in. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my parents, I do. But somedays…
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What we really need (continued)
If people are still dumping the garbage in the same place, no matter how many times it is cleaned from the roads. Maybe it’s time to place a large dustbin there or probably introduce a better garbage collection system and penalties for littering. Just saying.
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Choice of words.
(from Harry’s POV) DISCLAIMER: I know sometimes while describing someone I use really blunt words. I’m not the kinda person who uses those words. It’s because those people hurt me first and the trauma I went through because of them that’s making my words blunt and harsh. It’s the trauma that they caused that’s speaking,…
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Author’s note.
Sorry, I’m just not able to let go of this shit completely. Some days I’m just fucked. I’m trying. Just ignore me.
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Labels (continued)
(from Khaleesi’s POV) This is only for the sons of Satan who hurt Harry. I pray lifelong of suffering for you cause you deserve the absolute worst. Everyone else, please ignore. As for everyone who thought he is attracted to you and blamed him, look at a mirror and see what you look like, you…
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Labels (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) The women I was “friends” with in the past? I don’t even bloody find them attractive. I don’t know who they think they are. They are so fucking narrow minded. I was kind to them because I’m a good friend, that’s all. I was least interested in them that way. Even the…
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Labels.
(from Harry’s POV) It’s so easy for people to label and call someone desperate and negative without understanding the person. If I was really negative, I would be dead long back. It’s because I’m the right amount of positive and have light and hope inside me that I’m alive. The reason I’m narrating my past…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Karan Punjabi even said after marriage it’s women’s job to cook and clean and take care of the house because the husband always earns more. He always demeans women that way, which I hate because I’m a feminist. Naudiyal would constantly call me desperate and negative. Like constantly without understanding the situation.…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) While we are at it let me tell you about everyone. I had another “friend” at Ministry, let’s call him Karan Punjabi, he was mentally off and really disturbed because of his problems and every single time we spoke on call or met, he would dump his trauma on me and shout…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) I had a “friend” at Ministry, let’s call her Surya, I loved her since the beginning and considered her as a “good friend” but she didn’t see me as one. We used to sit together since day 1, but once she made new friends she stopped sitting with me and talking to…
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The long drive (continued)
(Fanfic) Harry is in his room. He is sitting in the chair and watching YouTube on his laptop. He has a headache. Harry has nothing but loved everyone all his life. He has always helped and cared with good intention in his heart. But because some wizards in his life were manipulative, cunning, fake, competitive…
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The long drive.
(fanfic) Khaleesi is in the car with a man. They are going on a long drive. She is wearing a sexy black top and a short golden skirt with black sunglasses. The car stops in front of a prison. That’s the prison where Harry studied. That’s the prison where Harry was mentally tortured and bullied.…
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Dear diary.
(from Harry’s POV) time: 23:51PM Date: 19th November Sunday. “See the line where the sky meets the sea, it calls me.” Moana is singing through my earphones. And for the first time in my life, I have dreams. I always felt I’m happy with whatever I have right now, because the things I have now…
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Sometimes it’s difficult to say sorry (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) Maybe it’s difficult to say sorry because I didn’t do anything wrong by standing up for myself and my consciousness is asking me not to people please. I’m not sure.
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Meaning.
Loving him makes me more myself than when I don’t think about it. When I don’t think about him, I’m just an emotionless zombie walking around and doing the mundane routine everyday. On the days I think about him, there is a spring to my steps and there is a warm blanket that spreads on…
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Sometimes saying sorry is difficult.
(from Harry’s POV) Whenever I set boundaries with my parents or shout at them, I end up feeling guilty. I might be right in my place and they might be right in thiers and when we collide, it’s a train wreck and there are casualties, whether I like it or not. Because I know they…
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Moving out.
(from Harry’s POV) I’m really not compatible with my parents and the way they function. I’ve grown up and matured. I’m in a place in my life where I prioritise healthy friendships and relationships. I’m not saying my parents are bad. They are as human as they can be. They are right in their place…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) (message to my mom continued) I had a “friend” at Ministry, let’s call him Praveen Prakash. He used to text me all the time and he even asked me if I wanted to be in casual relationship which I said no, then he tried to manipulate me into sending him my nudes…
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Gaslighting.
(from Harry’s POV) I know everyone is reading this so I want to make this extremely clear. If you gaslight me, no matter who you are, my love for you is going to vanish in that second. I do not care who you are. You can choose not to talk about it or to gaslight.…
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How I got over feeling suicidal.
(trigger warning: thoughts of self harm) (from Harry’s POV) I was feeling overwhelmed with negativity the last 2 days. But the thing with me is I don’t act on it, I never never do. I do not cause self harm or harm to others physically. What I did is, I got to the bottom of…
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The cold never bothered me anyway.
(fanfic) Elsa is in her ice castle far far away from people. It’s better to be alone and far away because there has been nothing but pain when she was with them. There has been nothing but pain when she cared and loved and gave endlessly. She builds a snowman with her power and calls…
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Apology is essential and crucial.
(from Harry’s POV) Message to the world.. Sometimes a heartfelt apology is required and essential. If you call someone a phycho, ugly and want that person dead, with no fault of theirs. You need to get the balls and take accountability and apologize. The person who called me ugly and phycho, now drinks Starbucks and…
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The story of the dog and the stones.
(fanfic) Harry goes to Dumbledore’s chamber. Harry, “Dumbledore, I want to tell you a story, do you have time?” Dumbledore, “Go on Harry.” “ Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away there lived an innocent puppy who was slightly different from the rest. He was really silent and happy in his little…
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Author’s note.
I’m just helping people and telling them it’s okay to be that way and whatever they were doing to Harry. you know empathy? sounds familiar?
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Author’s note.
Also, there is no resemblance to living or dead. *mic drop* : ) (Harry grew up throws back the same shit the world threw at him)
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Author’s note.
The whirlwind was from different timelines. I’m taking whatever happened in Harry’s life and turning it into fiction, hence it’s called as fanfic. Hold your horses before you call someone delululu. Also, hold on to your horses before you label someone negative, because you aren’t in their shoes. You have not faced what they have.
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The whirlwind, the ocean and the boat.
(fanfic) Harry is lost in the middle of the ocean on a small boat. The whirlwind is strong and the ocean is stormy in the night. Harry is sitting cross legged on his boat and he has his eyes closed. The boat is anchored in place due to all the circumstances that surrounds Harry which…
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Whirlwind in my head (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) .. Harry doesn’t have the privacy to even use the bathroom. (all his life) .. Harry tells his brother he is making YouTube videos and his brother grunts in a demeaning way. .. Harry has only 100 followers on his Instagram, so he asks his brother’s wife to post his video on…
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Whirlwind in my head (continued)
(from Harry’s POV) .. Harry buys a cake for his parents anniversary and James Potter throws it and shouts at him. .. Harry’s brother asks him to come home on Harry’s birthday and keeps complaining about the price of the cake he bought for Harry. .. Harry’s brother doesn’t even say thank you when Harry…
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Whirlwind in my head.
(from Harry’s POV) .. Harry takes his earphones and goes out to the park in the midst of the betrayal because he couldn’t cry at home and Lily Potter follows him and tells him he is mentally sick that’s why he is crying. .. Harry keeps saying all he needs is a friend to talk…
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Waking up 10% angry since two weeks.
(from Harry’s POV) Yes, you read the title right. I’ve been waking up and choosing to fight since last 2 weeks and I’ve been feeling shitty cause well, my mood in the morning decides my day and my days have been shitty since 2 weeks. (no surprises there) Idk, It’s just those weeks after my…
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My definition of friendship.
(from Harry’s POV) My definition of a friend is one who puts equal efforts as me and someone who puts me in the same priority as I put that person. Growing up, I always gave and gave and gave and gave some more and gave a lot more, unconditionally. Now though, I’ve placed a period…
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Define normal.
(from Harry’s POV) Sometimes anxiety consumes me and I do impulsive things. Like, I booked the Era’s tour movie tickets 4 times because I cancelled it 3 times in a row and lost a lot of money. Why you ask? Well, I was consumed with social anxiety and was not able to decide if I…
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Handling fights (continued)
If you love that person, put your ego in the bin, yes, you heard me right. Be present in the conversation, listen, understand, take accountability for your mistakes, apologize and do better. Love means saying sorry and doing better next time (yes, I’m quoting Happy Place).
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Handling fights (continued)
Even if they mess it up (cause we are humans after all) do they say sorry and actually change? I think I’m at that stage of life where an apology and accountability is important to me, followed by a changed behaviour ofcourse. I’m done forgiving without an apology because it feels like that’s all I’ve…
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Handling fights (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Dont call me a hypocrite based on the fights I have with my parents. I’m not compatible with my parents, I would have moved out years ago if I had the money, which unfortunately I don’t. (moving out does not mean I don’t love them, I love them endlessly) I’m sure…
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Handling fights (continued)
The best way to handle a fight is “ask for space”, no, not shut someone out completely without warning, but ask. Then sit with your thoughts and process it and let time pass and when everything has cooled down and you miss them, talk to them. If your partner wants to talk about it (like…
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Why apps are not for me (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) My body, my heart and my kisses are precious and valuable. I need a really good reason to give it to someone. I might have messed up in the past without having the understanding. But I’ve learnt from my mistakes. Even if someone is breaking my heart, they gotta earn it.…
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Handling fights.
If you are dating someone to get married to them, I would suggest date long enough to pass the honeymoon stage and have multiple fights with that person after that stage. The way your partner handles the fight matters a lot. Does he turn into an egoistic maniac or psychopath when he fights or does…
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Dear reader (continued)
If you are too sick to go out, like me on somedays (sometimes I’m too sick and weak to do anything), make the best of the time by listening to an audio book or a podcast maybe? or watch something that you love. Anything that’s comforting and soothing. (if you can’t focus like me sometimes,…
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Dear reader (continued)
Also, make sure you exercise, do yoga, go for a run/walk or do any form of physical activity. If like me, you don’t have the stamina to work out, take your earphones and go for a walk. If something someone did is bothering you too much and you’re not able to let it go, give…
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Dear reader.
I’m unable to form words. My heart feels heavy on my chest though. You know the person that’s on your mind right now? Please tell them you love and appreciate them. Hug them if you are lucky to have them close to you. Make them feel you are grateful for their existence, if not by…
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Meredith (continued)
(fanfic) Harry and Captain Marvel are standing outside Khaleesi’s apartment. Harry, “She must be hungover.” Captain, “Khaleesi can handle little bit of wine, Harry.” Khaleesi opens the door. She is wearing a fucking hot black lacey satin night dress. She looks hungover. There’s Style TV playing in the background. Harry suppresses a laugh and exchanges…
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Meredith.
(fanfic) Nick Fury is pacing in his office, he is extremely anxious. Agent Hill is standing behind him arms folded. Fury, “We need her.” Agent Hill, “I’m afraid, we do. The world needs her.” .. Captain Marvel is in her room. She gave up on saving the world because well, she was focusing on her…
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Invisibility cloak.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) 10 years ago. Harry screams, “She is Voldemort, she is using horcruxes”. Harry’s brother slaps him and says, “don’t say that, it’s your delusion”. His family takes him to a therapist. Harry keeps repeating it and everyone keeps hurting him. So he decides to keep quiet and let life happen. Everyone…
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Sorry
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I’m sorry, I understand I’m repeating myself. I think you heard me the first time. I’m just feeling little shitty. I feel like I’m under the invisibility cloak. Idk, it’s a weird feeling, you won’t know it, unless you experience it yourself. Everything that’s happening and idk, just feels weird and…
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Harley Quinn?
(I’m going to leave you with this last fanfic before my break) Khaleesi is sitting in the chair wearing a fucking hot short red tube bodycon dress. She is drinking chai alone, but content and doesn’t feel the need to have someone with her. Harry had a nightmare the other day. She was thinking about…
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Author’s Note.
I have no intention of making a difference anymore till I’m given credit for what I do. I don’t think I need to give an explanation as well on how shitty it feels when I’m fully aware of everything, still I’m being gaslighted and not really treated conventionally and stuck in a dead end job…
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Criticism (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I’m addressing only the negative criticisms, I appreciate the love and everything else. :)
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Why apps are not for me (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) If one more person asks me to kiss them or for a blowjob, I swear to God I’m going to punch you in the face. I want this message to be loud and clear. I’m tired of this shit. And losers from my past, don’t flatter yourself because I gave you…
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Why apps are not for me (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) If you’re desperate and going to be a man child, please do me a favor and stay away from me. I’m 32, not 25 or 28. I have fucking standards now.
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Why apps are not for me (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Message for men who are interested in dating me, if there are any. If you want me to kiss you, then make me. I mean, give me a reason to kiss you. Dont keep repeating ‘kiss me’ like a parrot after one or two days of texting. That’s a fucking turn…
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Sorry.
Author’s note : I know I keep rewriting old blogs, that’s because my memory is shit and I’m slow. please bear with me.
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Veritaserum (continued)
A very important author’s note (continued) : PS: very directly, but in a very non-violent but yet powerful way, with his words, I mean. He might not be passive aggressive when he talks unfortunately, but when he writes, his words are indestructible. Please never choose violence.
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Veritaserum (continued)
A very important author’s note (continued): Harry just speaks about what was done and what was said and what he saw, without any hidden meaning to it. If everyone are placing meaning to his words and reading between the lines, don’t you think that says a lot about that person and not him? for example,…
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Veritaserum (continued)
A very important note by the author: The dementor falls into hell herself because she was guilty for her sins. Khaleesi doesn’t touch or look at her. Harry never feels guilty, so he is still alive. In the rare occasions that he does feel guilty, he speaks about it and makes sure he is vocal…
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Critisicm (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) It’s easy for author’s to write fictional books about finding purpose and being in the present etc. Also, for creator’s to say, they don’t hate anyone but wish everyone who destroyed their life, good and well. But actually doing these things in real life on what they write? Now that’s something…
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If they don’t respect you, ask for it. (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Oh and I forgot to tell you, Ministry gave me 6% hike so that I quit. Ministry micromanages and scrutinizes and then brags about the things they did, which they should have done to begin with. I’m not blinded by the delusion of dream company anymore, I know and understand now.…
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Criticism (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) People who comment sitting in the comfort of their chair? I want them to go through exactly the same things and then open their mouth to comment. Because my love, for what I went through? I’m doing exceptionally well.
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Veritaserum (continued)
(fanfic) Khaleesi, “don’t think about the blood sucking fame fuckers, listen to Olivia, I ll be right back.” .. Khaleesi is at the edge of the cliff picking sunflowers. She is wearing a fucking hot flowy yellow sundress. Overlooking the cliff is the infinite fall to hell. A dementor is standing on the edge, let’s…
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Veritaserum.
(fanfic) Harry wonders to himself, “I don’t know what BS these death eaters and Voldemort have said about me to save their asses and if people have believed that BS because I’m different.” Harry is lying down on his bed under his blanket. Snape walks into his room and closes the curtains, Harry sits up…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) One day I went to Tayenjam’s house because she was depressed, her dog attacked me so I was kinda stuck in her bedroom, I asked her wifi password because I was bored and she made up an excuse because she didn’t want to share it. Ladies and gentlemen please give a…
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Fight (continued)
Because everyone is going to starve from the drought anyway, if you see it from a bigger picture, whether we share or not, you know. So why fight over whatever is left? All we can do is pray to God and pray that he blesses us with more food.
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Fight (continued)
I just feel we should stop thinking about it with greed and think of it with love. The neighbor should not be greedy and say, I want everything from that plate of food and we should not be greedy and say, that plate of food is mine I won’t give you as well. See it…
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Fight.
I want to give a disclaimer that I haven’t read what is happening with the cauvery water dispute but this is something that I want to say. Imagine there is a drought and everyone is starving. If I have a plate full of food and my next door neighbor is starving, I will give some…
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.. Ready for it? (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Got a taste of your own medicine? Was it bitter? Absolutely soul crunching? Thought so. I know it all too well. :)
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.. Ready for it?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I was not talking about anyone in my blogs and fanfic. It’s all a work of fiction. I’m not implying anything as well. If anyone thought I was talking about them or implying something with a hidden meaning, probably you are schizophrenic, please take sulpitac and you ll stop thinking I’m…
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I don’t belong here (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) A country where same sex marriage is not legal, do you call that country open minded and developed? Now you understand what I said, don’t you?
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Toxic friends (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I really want to tell my mom, I have never in my life hurt someone intentionally. Every hurtful word I’ve said is a retaliation. The problem with me is, I say it after some time has passed because I’m terribly slow. If Voldemort wishes bad things upon Harry and is glad…
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Violence is not the answer (continued)
(message to them continued) No, that doesn’t mean you plan it in a way that you don’t get caught. Because God is seeing you do it. You can’t escape Khaleesi even if you escape the law.
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Violence is not the answer (continued)
Please for the love of God stop killing and raping innocent people. I really want to ask them. .. I never understand what’s the point of killing someone. What do you get out of killing? a satisfaction for your anger in that second? Is it worth it though? Because it just makes you inhuman and…
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Money (continued)
I guess I already have everything I’ve wanted. I’m happy however things are. I guess there is only so much happiness we get no matter what we have. There might always be some or the other problems, you know? So I guess I just gotta be grateful for what I have, ’cause these were once…
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Money (continued )
Or maybe move to a 2 bedroom house instead of moving out, ’cause maybe I’m incapable of surviving on my own ’cause I’m sick. I’m not sure. My parents aren’t so bad. They just do parents things. I’m okay as long as I have freedom and space.
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Money.
If I had money, I could finally move out of my home. (My parents don’t really understand that the peace of mind that I take hours to build when I’m sad, they destroy it in a split second with their words and they’ve been doing this since forever. No it doesn’t mean I don’t love…
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Why apps are not for me (continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Men there don’t understand, friends to lovers and slow burn. That’s what I absolutely love and want.
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Why apps are not for me.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I don’t think dating and matrimony apps are for me. I mean, I do meet men there whom I would like to talk to. Well the conversation goes well too, for a day or two. Then they start saying things like they want to kiss me or meet me and I…
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Question I ask myself before I forgive.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) These days before I forgive someone I ask myself, “If the roles were reversed and I had done the thing they did to me to them, will that person still talk to me and be good to me?” No? Yup, they wouldn’t. So why should I be so selfless and give…
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Things I hate.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Manipulation, lying, gaslighting, unsolicited advices and hurting someone intentionally. Also, preaching my own words back to me. Like WTF. Yeah. (men I talk to do this, which is like a turn off) Many other things too. But this tops my list.
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Hell (continued)
(fanfic) Khaleesi calls Draco Malfoy next. Khaleesi, “Hey Draco, I was wondering, how is your friend Santhosh whom you slept with and didn’t want anyone to know about?” Draco, “Can you put Harry on the phone? I don’t recognize him anymore” Khaleesi, “I’m sorry, the old Harry can’t come to the phone right now. Why?…
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boy IDGAF (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I left out a crucial information about our beloved “friend” Mehta from Ministry. So 4 years ago, we sexted, yup. The next day we were in cab and I touched his stubble, yup. You wanna know what happened after that? He kept asking me to go to his room, no matter…
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Can I stop time?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) When I think about the past now, it fills me with immense grief. It fills me with grief for what my parents had to go through and a lot of resentment for what I went through. Yes, I’ve accepted the past and also let go of it. But sometimes the thoughts…
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Prayers.
(Fanfic) “Dear God, I pray that everyone I love is healthy and happy. I pray that you give me enough strength and courage to go on on this journey. I pray that I don’t get triggered easily. I pray that I’m treated conventionally and people talk to me openly and directly, whenever they do. I…
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If they don’t respect you, ask for it (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Ministry was my dream company and I loved my job up until last year. Last year, they abruptly stopped my therapy sessions giving lame reasons because I complained about a shitty therapist who used to fuck me up. The head of the place called me and harassed me again and again.…
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Hell.
(fanfic) Karma is the God in Hell. Bellatrix Lestrange is naked in the torture chamber. She doesn’t have a dick because it was cut off by Khaleesi. Every pain that Harry went through because of him is being hit back like a boomerang with 100 times greater force. She is mentally and physically tortured, 100…
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Violence is not the answer (continued)
Please stop killing innocent people. Just stop. I don’t understand why or what is happening. But please stop.
rachana rajan <3 