Category: Uncategorized
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Never forget the shit you were put through.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Sometimes when years pass, I’ve realized that I tend to miss the friends from my past. Because well, I spent a lot of time, energy and effort into building that friendship. Even though it was toxic AF, there were some good memories as well. As time passes, the memories fade and…
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boy IDGAF (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I had a “friend” at Ministry lets call him Mehta. I had a crush on him few years back and spoke to him constantly but he treated me like shit and kept insulting me every chance he got. He kept ignoring my messages and never made a conversation. He even said…
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If they don’t respect you, ask for it.
No matter who you are, where you are and what you do in life, no one, absolutely no one has the right to disrespect you. Read that again. You matter, yes, you do. You are important and valuable. If someone is treating you like shit and you don’t deserve it, please please don’t keep quiet.…
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What we really need.
Sometimes I feel a lot of expenditures made are not really required and also the focus is all wrong. Maybe we didn’t really need free bus rides and our electricity bills to be reimbursed. Because to be honest we can easily afford it. Providing it for the people who cannot afford it makes sense though,…
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When friends post Instagram pictures..
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I don’t know about you, but the people I’ve been “friends” with never post a picture with me when I look good, but the minute I look bad in a picture, they post it. We would take 100s of picture and they would choose only the pictures in which I look…
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Sad songs.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I love sad songs so very much. When I listen to them, it’s like a balm on my wounds and it calms the pain and makes me release all the withheld emotions in the form of tears. I listen to them again and again, like insane amount of times, till one…
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Fictional.
(fanfic) Movies based on the romance book series : Book 1, Sierra Burgess Is a Loser Review: in the book Veronica was a manipulative bitch and Jamey a fuck boy. Where as Sierra, an immature stupid stupid girl who needs to grow up. Movie is far away from the book. Rating: minus 10 Stars. (Anyway)…
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I don’t belong here (continued)
The day I see transgender people treated equally and with respect (and I don’t see them begging at traffic signals) and women don’t switch seats because “it’s uncomfortable” in presence of bisexual and lesbian women, I will say India has developed in their minds.
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Story of my life..
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) People do me shit and fuck me up, I stay longer than required because I love them. After sometime I realize what happened because I’m slow and I stand up for myself and speak out, I’m given more shit by people around me for standing up. and repeat!!
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Khaleesi is back bitches!
(fanfic) Harry is sad and drinking his coffee at Koramangala Social. It’s raining heavily outside. He hears the thunder and looks up, “Thor?”. Captain Marvel lands on the seat next to Harry with Mjölnir. Harry exclaims, “whoa!” Captain says, “It’s nice to finally meet you Harry. Why do you look so sad though?”. Harry pours…
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Old cardigan..
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I can’t help feeling like an old cardigan under someone’s bed. Maybe it’s because every time I’m in love, it doesn’t work out. Maybe it’s because even if they do love me back, it’s not enough to fight for me. Why though? I’m not really sure. But my insecurities keep telling…
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His touch.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Why have I not felt that for anyone till now and why do I not feel it for anyone else? How do I even tell you? It was like I was sleeping all my life and when he kept his hand on my thigh for the first time I woke up…
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Parents
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Parents are God’s blessing on earth. I know sometimes it’s difficult to live with them, but no one cares about us, looks after us and loves us as much as them. I feel like a bad person for shouting at them for someone else’s mistakes. I feel like a bad person…
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I don’t belong here(continued)
If someone from the government is reading this and need improvement ideas. You can contact me, I’ll send you an email. :)
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What I do when I’m angry.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have a lot of reasons to be angry, trust me, a lot, yes more than you. What I do when I’m angry is I isolate and listen to the kinda music that heals me. I imagine buying a dozen of eggs and throwing it on the car of the person…
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I don’t belong here (continued)
India still has a long way to go to reach that level of open mindedness. They have come a long way, yes, but still a lot of things need to change. I’ll let you know when they get there. I’m not really afraid of saying this because of the things I’ve experienced and seen. I…
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Sorry(continued)
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) The apology was only for the people I care about and love. You know who you are. Everyone else can ignore :)
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Rejection.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Men who don’t really know how to handle rejection solidifies my decision of leaving them. I’ve said it before, imma say it again. If someone doesn’t like you back, it doesn’t make them a bad person. It makes them bad only and only if they disrespect you. Some men I meet…
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Slow responses
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’m so slow it’s painful. When someone say something which is hurtful sometimes I cannot comprehend it. Maybe not sometimes, most times in my past. When they use a horcrux, it decapacitates me and I go haywire in my mind. I never have a quick response for it because my speech…
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Sorry
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Sorry that I keep repeating the same things and hurting you again and again, I don’t know how to come in terms with it. Sorry that I’m easily triggered. Sorry I’m the way I am and sometimes I know I can be really difficult. Sorry that my words are really harsh…
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If the story is over why am I still writing pages?
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) What do you do when the person who means the most to you becomes a memory and there is no way of talking to them? What do you do when your heart still beats and tears still flow down your cheeks? What do you do when you want to send them…
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Wear what you want to and you are comfortable in.
Don’t let anyone tell you what you should wear and not. If you have a tummy and you love wearing crop top and jeans, go for it girl. Cause we all got a tummy. You don’t really have to feel conscious about it. It’s all about how confident you are in your own skin. If…
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Good morning.
(fanfic in Khaleesi’s POV) Good morning you beautiful uncle and aunties of my past. I’m just dropping in to show you a picture of me kissing you. So that you can see how flat I’m, yeah and negative, beans, not worth it, creepy, rat who lives in the gutter, unhappy, deranged, mentally unstable, ugly, so…
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Goodbye shitty reality show.
(fanfic) That brings us to the end of the show. The truth is out in the open. Hurts isn’t it? that’s 1% of what I went through. Now let’s see who has the emotional maturity to put their ego aside and treat the protagonist with the respect and care she deserves. The protagonist is not…
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Welcome to shitty reality show (continued)
(fanfic) Introducing the sister, the person who doesn’t give a fuck about the protagonist’s feelings and has zero empathy towards her. Introducing the brother in law, the person who is full of unsolicited advices based on the crap he has assumed he knows about the protagonist, but when she tries to explain, shuts her off…
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Who could leave me baby, but who could stay (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I think I’ve been extremely clear about why I behaved the way I did, also, why I retaliated. I know my words shoot to kill when I’m mad, I’m guilty for that. But now you know why though. I still remember a lot of good memories and I’ve let go of…
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Welcome to shitty reality show (continued)
(fanfic) That was last year. But her family keeps triggering her and she keeps getting flashbacks. Right now, she doesn’t wanna do life and is under her blanket, she wants to be a panda and learn kung fu instead.
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welcome to shitty reality show(continued)
(fanfic) The protagonist is mentally tormented and scrutinized for years. Whenever she talks about it, it’s blamed on her sanity by everyone around her. Introducing the doctor, who tries his very best to prove he is right by holding a magnifying glass when the protagonist is scrutinized. The protagonist is exploited and harassed to an…
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Welcome to shitty reality show.
(Fanfic) Where videos are taken without consent and they can be sued for it. Information is shared without consent and they can be sued for it. Introducing mother India, who keeps crying and pretends and manipulates and is a mess and all over the place to gain sympathy. But she doesn’t know she is just…
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Who could leave me baby, but who could stay?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) If I had a life that was as normal as you, yes you, the person who is reading this. A life where my personal life was not broken down into bits and analyzed with a magnifying glass. Where in the name of help, my cocoon wasn’t cut off early and I…
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Things not in my control.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There is absolutely no point stressing about it. It’s really not in my control when my mom keeps crying and makes everything about her, even though I’ve told her I’m dealing with things and I need space and I never said I don’t love her. It’s really not in my control…
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Run away.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Sometimes I dream about going to Canada and starting new but then I remember I don’t even have the money to go to goa. Sometimes I dream about going somewhere far away where no one knows me and marry a pie shop owner. Sometimes I dream about going somewhere far far…
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I wish I could tell my mom.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I wish I could tell my mom when I ask for space it doesn’t mean I don’t love her. I wish I could tell my parents when I say I want to move out it doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I wish I could tell my mom I’m at the…
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Another flaw.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) (casually pretends like the last blog didn’t happen and I didn’t get vulnerable on my stories last night *clearing throat* anyway) I don’t like hurting people. So what happens every time I snap or stand up for myself or shout? Yes, thank you for asking, I’ll tell you. I go into…
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Just saying.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Being a lesbian and bisexual is not wrong at all. What is wrong is continuously forcing someone to talk about it when they aren’t ready to talk about it, when they are bisexual and lesbian in the closet themselves. That’s what my so called “female best friends” did in the past…
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Alien invasion.
I don’t understand why countries fight each other instead of helping each other. There are bigger things to worry about than who said what and ego. Please for the love of God drop your ego. If COVID hasn’t taught us there are bigger things to worry about, I don’t know what will. We have to…
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Violence is not the answer.
Don’t hurt people physically. Never ever do that unless it’s self defence. I know some people did you shit and some fucked you in ways that now you are mentally tormented and can’t find a way out. I’ve been there too, many times. But I’m going to say it again, violence is not the answer.…
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Secrets.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’m a good secret keeper until you treat me like a doormat. I know I’m a bitch for outing people before they are ready and spilling their secrets to the world, but the truth of the matter is I’m not a bitch but a vigilante shit. If you see me being…
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Finding your therapist.
Every therapist you speak to are not your therapist. Yes. If you feel therapy isn’t working out for you, that’s because that person is “not your therapist”. If you end up feeling overwhelmed by the end and you are not able to calm down, don’t blame therapy, it just means, that person is not your…
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I absolutely love old people.
They are as cute as babies. They have so many stories to tell which are so wonderful to listen to. They love without any limit. They are in pain physically at times, but they don’t really complain about that constantly, instead they embrace it as a part of life. It’s so beautiful to see them…
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Living with parents.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Sometimes it’s the best thing that’s happened to me but sometimes I want to run away from home. The only problem that I feel is the generation gap. They just don’t get certain things. They expect me to sleep on time, eat on time and things like that. But then, I…
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I’m still battling trauma after healing.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I don’t think it’s going to vanish forever even if I’m healed. Like what happened today with that woman who switched seats. I don’t think it might have anything to do with me. Maybe she was just embarrassed or something. Idk, people in the past always fucking doubted me, so my…
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When people change, don’t bring up their past.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) This is something I’ve learnt. I see my dad everyday and I see how much he has changed. He is not the same person who hurt me. He is gentle and loving now. He has changed a lot and my heart goes out for him. My mom has learnt a lot…
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Forgiving without a sorry.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) It’s not easy at all. Most people lack accountability. They don’t have the ability to say, “Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry”, “That was my mistake, I’m sorry”. But sometimes even if they say sorry, I don’t think I will take them back because sorry doesn’t fix things. Except for…
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Hi, I’m the problem. It’s me.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I don’t belong not just here but anywhere else in the world too. Cause I’m an undercover extra terrestrial. (lol kidding, but am I really? hmm) Jokes apart, I’m the most different person I’ve ever met. I do the most craziest shit that I have never seen anyone do and have…
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Liking someone and being attracted to them.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’ve struggled to understand this topic most part of my life. I love everyone around me and find them beautiful, in a platonic way. Growing up I didn’t understand why I wasn’t attracted to anyone, so I lied and faked to blend in. When I started dating and men said they…
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Masturbating.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have no secrets left, so let’s talk about this as well. I like masturbating. I did it a lot when I was young because it felt good but didn’t know what I was doing. I always felt something was wrong with me. I was harassed brutally to talk about it…
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I don’t belong here (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I don’t know where it started that I stare at people. I don’t know why people repeat it again and again, when I hear it, it’s like people are saying I have green hair. How would you feel if people harass you constantly saying, “you are a creep cause you have…
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I don’t belong here.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) (Yes, I’m back because I have so much more to say.) I don’t know, there have been so many instances which makes me feel I don’t belong here. There is so much that needs to change in India. India has come a long way but still has a long long way…
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Acknowledgements.
I want to thank every beautiful person I’ve met and loved. Every person I loved but was a lesson. Every beautiful book I’ve read, songs I’ve listened to and movies/shows I’ve watched. I want to thank my family and chosen family. I’m thankful to God for being there for me on my journey and my…
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Epilogue(continued)
(fanfic) In the world Harry is in, the wand doesn’t have to be won over. The light that shines brightly can use it with ease. He wants her to win all the battles in her life. That’s his way of thanking her for everything she’s done for him. She is constant in all universes too.…
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Epilogue
(fanfic) Love is constant in all universes. In every universe Harry feels it. For some reason it never stops. His heart doesn’t ache anymore, but his tears never stop too. He feels too much. Always. He feels the pain of everyone around him too. The wizarding world fixes the elder wand and hands it to…
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Author’s note.
The story of Harry doesn’t end here. Neither does mine. Will I continue writing? I’m not sure. Honestly, I’m little overwhelmed, so I need sometime. Will be taking a break for now (from YouTube as well) to concentrate on my mental health. Thank you for sticking around and the response. I love each and everyone…
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Hell and Heaven.
(fanfic) Khaleesi does a patrol of hell with her dragons looking hot as fuck in her golden dress. It is burning hot there and there is fire everywhere. But she does not feel a thing because she is immune to the fire. She walks through the fire with grace. She is wearing blue nail color…
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The beach(continued)
(fanfic) After 30 years(continued) There is AR Rahman music playing in the background. There is a black umbrella in the corner of his room. Harry is sitting on his bed lost in his world. He is thinking about a moment in time many years ago when he was living for the hope of it all,…
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The beach.
(fanfic) Harry is sitting by the beach alone watching the sun set. His parents are asleep in the beach house. If he could he would do life all over again with them, where there is no Voldemort, the pain and the fame. But that can’t happen even if you are a wizard. It had to…
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Thoughts after watching Jawan(continued)
(fanfic) Harry leaves Starbucks and takes the BMTC back home. Harry keeps thinking why the movie was similar to his life. He thinks about the jokes in the movie and laughs to himself. Harry feels there is more to the picture than he sees, but can’t figure out though. Harry gets scared when he takes…
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Thoughts after watching Jawan
(fanfic) Harry is sitting in Starbucks drinking his hot chocolate thinking, was it really an accident that there was a Starbucks cup in front of Khaleesi in the last season of GoT. Oogway appears out of thin air and sits next to Harry and tells him in his Oogway voice,”there are no accidents Harry!!”. Harry…
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My toxic trait that I’m working on.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I cannot for the life of me tell a man I don’t like him, so I ghost or block. I don’t know why I cannot just tell them it’s not working out or I don’t see it going anywhere and then end things. I don’t why I find those words so…
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The satisfaction that comes with saying fuck you.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) It is unmatched when it is needed and the person absolutely fucking deserves it. I’ve never stood up for myself before and always accepted the doormat treatment. But after therapy, learning self love and valuing myself to a point that I understand disrespect, I always stand up for myself and there…
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Why I absolutely hate gossip.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Back in the days, when I was really young and didn’t know better, I did it too because I wanted to be like the people I was friends with. But now I’ve grown and I’ve started understanding myself and my likes and dislikes better and you know what? I hate discussing…
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What I do when someone doesn’t reply to my text.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) It took me 32 years to get here, I’m going to tell you in a single blog post. First of all, I would like to clarify this to you, no one, absolutely no one in this world is busy all the time. Let me break this down to you, every person…
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Calling all avengers (swifties)!
(fanfic in Captain Marvel’s POV) Avengers assemble. This is Captain Marvel and I have a very important message to share. How many times has Taylor Swift been there for us? How much has she loved us? The answer is infinite, yes, nothing less. She has always always healed us with her super power. Now it’s…
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how does it happen ?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) How does it happen that one magical night at 3.40AM, my heart doesn’t ache anymore even though there are bandages holding it together? How does it happen that my life which was so meaningless and blank couple of months ago is painted gold, brown and all those beautiful shades in the…
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When universes collide.
It all started when I was listening to Mel Robin’s 5 second rule. In Atomic Habits by James Clear, he talks about how if we imagine ourselves as the version we want to be and do it everyday, the habit becomes natural to us. In Ikigai, it is mentioned that once we start doing something…
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No, not broken.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Every pain has been taken away and accepted. I kept wondering why God kept me alive even after every near death experiences. Maybe it’s because he wanted me to make a difference and tell my story by being brutally honest. The world might have broke me but it put me back…
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Expecto Patronum
(fanfic) During the dark times Harry was always lost in his own world. Harry didn’t know why bad things always happened to him and why everyone were hurting him all the time. Harry thought that was the norm. Because unfortunately, Harry had never known what is norm. Harry kept reliving the good memories in his…
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Self love
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) It took me 3 years of therapy and constantly working on myself to learn self love and there is no going back from here. Self love is recognizing when someone is not treating me right and setting boundaries or cutting them off (whatever suits the situation and person). Self love is…
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It’s all in the perception
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I like to believe that in all great love stories, it is not necessary for the two people in love to end up together (note: I’m not saying guy and the girl because it’s 2023 and we are finally in a beautiful place to accept love in all forms). I feel…
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Did I tell you about him?
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) He kinda looks like Maddy. Do you see the resemblance or is it just me? He has big beautiful eyes which I can look at forever and ever. They are so dreamyyy that I keep getting lost in them. They are filled with innocence. They are one of my favorite things…
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Is this what healed feels like?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) While I was dancing today to one of the Taylor Swift songs playing on TV and singing along holding the remote, I realised I’m happy. Finally!! (God did I take a lifetime for this). But yes, I do have those dark moments in the day too, but it’s not really that…
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Reality check
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Honestly, I don’t think dating will ever work out given the situation. Main reason being everyone bloody gaslights me and I don’t think I want to end up with someone who does that. So unless the world wakes up and realizes I’m a human being and I would like to be…
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I wish
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I wish I loose my memory and don’t remember a thing. I wish the ache in my heart stops. I wish I didn’t get this constant headaches when Voldemort is nearby. I wish I could take away my mom’s pain. I wish everyone I love is safe and happy always. I…
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The little Prince and his rose.
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) So I re-read the little prince the other day, why does it make more sense to me every time I read it? He goes to a garden with thousands of roses but he still thinks about his rose in his tiny planet. Why do I do that too? Why do I…
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Okay?
(fanfic) Harry is okay, yes. Harry feels it’s a blessing to be okay. Is okay an underrated word? idk, but he is grateful to God and feels his presence. He hardly uses his phone. He hardly has friends too. He calls the few people left in his contact list sometimes. But they don’t really pick…
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Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Even if the world pushes me down again and again, I don’t stay down. I choose to get up and dust off the speck of dust and put on my cape and face the day, always always looking my best. This is the legacy I want to leave behind. I choose…
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Given up
(fanfic) Harry is defeated and sits in his room and cries. Harry has been feeling suicidal lately because of all the mess that he had to go through which he didn’t deserve to go through. He has been holding on and surviving in spite of the hardships. Every time Harry stands up for himself the…
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I’m Ted Mosby
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Maybe the previous few blogs has been a bit harsh, but so was my state of mind. I go through hell and back sometimes, when I realize something that I didn’t realize or make sense of before. It’s been crazy making sense of things that was so obvious but I was…
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Criticism
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) People are so full of this even if you don’t ask for it. It’s so easy for people to say, “I don’t have a victim’s mindset” “I don’t hold grudges” “I always think positive” “oh can you just move on”. Well, if they were in my shoes and went through everything…
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Ego
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have dealt with so many people in my life who has their ego so up high. There is a difference between ego and self respect. It’s good and necessary to have self respect but not ego. Ego kills everything. Whenever I have confronted someone for something brutal that they did…
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Everything that’s wrong with this world
Human’s make a big deal about the most silliest things. One of my mom’s bestfriend is over 65 years old, but she even now lies about her age and say she is 55. I mean how does it even matter, isn’t growing old a privilege? She should feel lucky to have lived a long and…
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I take therapy because people who actually need it traumatized me..
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There are a lot of people out there who need a behavior coach, extensive therapy and a psychiatrist but do not take it up. In my span of 31 years, I’ve come across so many of them like that that my mind is fucked now. I have been completely traumatized and…
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Harry is Khaleesi the mother of dragons
(Fanfic) Harry defeats Voldemort to nothing, Khaleesi chops his head into million pieces and screams. Voldemort is no more now. Bellatrix Lestrage, the deranged bitch, who has been watching her parents have sex since childhood is no more too. She raped Harry when Harry revoked his consent and told the world BS about him. She…
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Harry is Khaleesi?
(Fanfic) Since the beginning of time, Harry didn’t have a say in things. Harry was continuously shouted at, beaten up, harassed mentally and sexually, raped, treated like a fucking doormat Harry’s friends used to treat him like a doormat and project their ego and trauma on him. They kept harassing him. They took advantage of…
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The tale of how I was falsely diagnosed with schizophrenia
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I had a different childhood so everyone thought something was wrong with me(including me). Voldemort’s faulty perception added to it(refer to horcruxes). I was gaslighted, bullied and mentally tormented to a greater extent by my school friends and I was in a really bad state so I couldn’t stop crying and…
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Jealous
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’ve never really felt any jealousy, unless I’m in love with that person and they are married to someone else. For some crazy reason, people think I get jealous of other’s promotion and success when I don’t really desire what they have. Even if I’m given that position, I don’t want…
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Consent
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Taking people’s videos and hacking their phone without their knowledge and consent is violation of their rights. Invading in someone’s private life without their knowledge is wrong in all senses. Everyone reading this is well aware of this. What was done to me was inhumane and cruel. Everyone are aware of…
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Gaslighting
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There is no one in this world who is more aware of this word than me. Everyone gaslights unintentionally sometimes. To a point it’s okay. But intentional gaslighting is psychological torture. People would say “oh I didn’t know the meaning of gaslighting” but they are well aware of the term “lying”…
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Manipulation
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I didn’t know anything about this world before so I was manipulated as badly as Travis manipulates Archer in Archer’s voice. When Voldemort and the death eaters did it, I didn’t get it at all. Voldemort would say things like “a girl raped a boy in a college” “Some actor showed…
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Rise and fall of Voldemort’s reign
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’m not going to take the help of fanfic to convey this because this has to be addressed directly. The evil Voldemort is no more now and is long gone but traces of him is left and unfortunately I’m unable to break the preconceived notions that he so strongly engraved in…
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My experience with men.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Not surprisingly, it hasn’t been a pleasant experience. Growing up, the boys in school and college kept calling me ugly and kept asking me to introduce them to my friends. It was traumatic cause they wouldn’t even think twice before calling me ugly. They would constantly say it. I had a…
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Toxic relationships
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) While we are at it, let’s talk about this as well. So you are well aware of my first mistake the deranged Bellatrix. This was followed by Gilderoy Lockhart. Let’s continue talking about what happened after the infamous kiss. He continued leading me on by saying “hmm” whenever I very stupidly…
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Toxic friends (edited)
(from Harry’s POV) I have a cousin, let’s call her Dudley, I was nothing but sweet to her since day 1. I tried my best to help her and be there for her and trusted her and shared my secrets but she was a bitch who was always jealous of me and never had good…
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Toxic friends (continued)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Every time Tayenjam and I hang out, she used to be glued to her phone and texting the whole time. She used to hardly talk to me. Most of the time I don’t know what to do, so I just look at her and ask her whom she is texting. I…
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Toxic friends
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Because of the preconceived notions created by Voldemort and the death eaters, it affected all my relationships that I’ve had in life. I’ve had more than my fair share of toxic friends. Anyone could walk all over me and blame it on my mind because I didn’t have a say in…
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Healing
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Healing looks a lot like having shit load of anxiety and breaking down for no reason in the middle of the day. I’ve been broken since forever. Lately, I’ve got my shit together. How you ask? With the help of a lot of music, love, therapy and writing about it. But…
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boy IDGAF
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Fast forward 5 years. Lockhart tells Harry he would love to meet him and Harry asks him to go fuck himself. Lucuis Malfoy tells Harry he is really important and wants to meet him, but Harry has self respect now and tells that manipulative son of a bitch that karma is…
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Breaking the bisexual stereotype
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I like every woman I see, just like how I don’t like every man. Growing up I do not know why it happened to me, but every time I spoke to a girl and tried to be friends with them they would call me a…
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People pleasing to IDGAF
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Growing up I was the person who didn’t like to upset anyone and always put their needs before mine and well now? IDGAF. During school, when I finally made friends I was so happy yet so clueless about the world. They were the kind of people who would only talk about…
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Dating in my 30s
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Dating in my 30s is so much better than in my 20s. In my 20s I was naive and overlooked a lot of red flags because I didn’t understand what is love. I messed up a lot and chose a bunch of toxic men and pined over them. Now that I’m…
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Reflecting on my toxic trait
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’ve been sick since quite sometime now and I’ve been looking inward. I have tonsils and I almost died couple of times (that’s what it felt like). It has made me realize how fleeting life is. I’ve been mad at a lot of people in my past because of the way…
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And just like that it’s over.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There were days that we would talk non stop throughout and now we are blocked. To be honest, when I invest a lot of time, energy and effort on someone, I pine and hold on even after it’s over. Let it be friendship or relationship. I tend to keep going back…
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The other end of resentment
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have heaps of this. The pain has reduced now, but honestly, it took me a long time. It took me years to come out of what happened to me. Imagine a 20 year old innocent and normal girl who was minding her own business being mentally tortured like in the…
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Spoiler alert: Life is unfair
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) If you expect to get everything you want you’re in for a hard ride. ‘Cause life is not that easy. I found love last year but it was taken away from me in the midst of chaos and it took me forever to let go. I still cry myself to sleep…
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Aas paas hai khuda
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) He is everywhere. I’ve struggled my entire life with a lot of things. But never felt like giving up even if I come close to it because He was there with me throughout. Even now He is here with me. I struggle to make ends meet even now. Struggle to go…
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Romanticizing romance books
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I’m a hopeless romantic who lives in the world of romance. I love getting lost in the pages and living in a world where only the fictional characters exist. I love reading, watching and experiencing love. I believe love is the meaning of life and what makes the world a better…
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Absorbing the calmness
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I imagine myself sitting on the beach and just looking at the vast expanse of water beyond. (can’t do that in reality yet, ’cause my bank balance doesn’t agree) There is a certain calmness that comes after the storm. The calmness where I accept that things that happened where not in…
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Can I ask you a question?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I do get the empathy. I do understand everything and see the empathy for what it is. I do understand the disrespect and the lying as well. I wasn’t born yesterday. I understand the difference between empathy and harassment. I understand, maybe my story needs to be heard. I do get…
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Choose the one who chooses you? Fuck no!
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Girl, no. I hear this everywhere, “don’t go behind the person who doesn’t put any effort and choose the one who chooses you even if you don’t feel anything for him”. Fuck, this is the most ridiculous thing I have heard. First and foremost, I would like to clarify, if you…
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A letter to amma
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I don’t say this often amma but you are the most important person in my life. I cannot imagine how you do what you do, everyday. You keep saying my job is difficult but what you do is 10 times more difficult than mine. You take care of all of us…
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Life happens when you’re busy making other plans
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) So I was all set to get out into the world but I’m stuck in my room again. I was taken to the emergency few days back because I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I am going to die and my life flashed in front of my eyes the whole time.…
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Getting out into the world at snail’s pace
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I was pushed back down again but I am back up on my feet and now I am dancing. Time and time again I am pushed down by the world and by the weight of my mistakes and also because of heaps of misunderstanding. I’ve learnt that’s how life is, problems…
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Slipping into depression
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I find myself slipping into depression ’cause the floor is all watery with my tears. Sometimes I loose myself and I dunno what I am living for anymore. I dunno why I do what I do and what’s the point of all this. Sometimes there is nothing good left in my…
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Let it go.
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There have been many people who did me unjust, but I let them go. I could have raised an HR complaint or sued them. They should be behind the bars right now. But they are not. The school friends who made me crazy, the guy who raped me, the manager who…
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Treat them with respect
Many times when I go on dates with guys I get turned off when they treat the waiters like their servants. First and foremost, I would like to make it clear to the world that the waiters at restaurants, the helping staff at all the places, the sales persons at showrooms, the cab drivers, the…
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Life has no meaning
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Life has no meaning anymore. Now that I know everything and everything makes sense, I do not have any headache. I have put the baggage down and behind me. I feel light as a popcorn. But yeah, I don’t know what I am living for? I do not feel like dating…
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Bisexuality
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have been confused about my sexuality since a very long time, but now I am sure I am bisexual? I have been attracted to women on screen since my early memories. I didn’t really know what it meant because women in real life never attracted me. So I always felt…
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Sleepless nights
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I miss Ginny so much my heart is torn apart and there is a constant ache. Does she also miss me as much? Why do I feel she thinks of me too? I really can’t go on this way. Life is so meaningless. The clothes that I bought for her is…
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How do I move on?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) My heart is in pieces and some parts are missing. How do I move on when I am still in love? How do I move on when I crave to hear his voice? I am living in my head and in the memories. Memories I don’t wanna forget. There is a…
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Transgender rights
I wish i lived in a world where transgender was accepted as a part of the society. Why do I see them begging for money on MG road? Why don’t I see them working at a office or anywhere else where they want to? After reading about Elle from Heartstopper I feel so much love…
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The betrayal
(Fanfic) Long time ago Harry was best friends with Lucius Malfoy because he was stupid. He was an emotional vampire who used to send Harry 50 text messages at a time saying he wants to die and he wants his parents dead whenever he was fucked up. Harry used to get fucked up because of…
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Caring from a distance
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There have been many people in my life whom I’ve loved immensely but we don’t talk anymore. The thing is when we get too close to a person fights are bound to be. But how do you handle the fight is what matters. I’ve been close to a lot of people…
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Growing old
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I was not close to my parents for a long time. We used to live in a house as small as a matchbox and because of the close proximity there was always fights and I was invisible. I don’t remember much though which I consider a blessing. But I do remember…
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Domestic abuse (continued)
(Fanfic) Harry isn’t questioning James’s intention behind staring. Please read the blogs again. Harry is getting fucked because James stares, which is a reality. Harry gets fucked when someone’s eyes is glued to his body. Harry gets fucked when men from dating app keep asking him for a blowjob when he has no intention whatsoever…
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Domestic abuse (continued)
(fanfic) 5 years ago. Harry and family were getting ready to go to his brother’s house. Harry wore a tight tee shirt which showed little bit of his chest. When Harry walked out of the room, James Potter kept staring at Harry’s chest and didn’t look anywhere else. His eyes were glued to his chest.…
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Domestic abuse
(Fanfic) Harry used to live in a house the size of match box when he was young. James potter was always hot headed and used to beat him, Lily potter and his brother all the time. He used to always verbally abuse them. There was always fights. There wasn’t a day without fight. Lily potter…
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Craving for empathy
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Most days I’m okay, but some days it’s hard. Some days my past hits me like waves and I am not okay again. My therapists asks me to accept things but how do I accept certain thing which weighs so much that I am literally on the ground unable to get…
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Champagne problems
(Trigger warning : rape) (fanfic in Harry’s POV) Did I tell you about the time Bellatrix Lestrange assaulted me? (let’s grab a champagne and sit down for this one) When I didn’t know what’s dating long time ago, Bellatrix Lestrange happened to me(in my story it’s a he, but humor me will you). She took…
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The fucked up empathy I get
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) In my dictionary empathy is direct, for example “i heard this about you I’m so sorry you had to go through that” “I’m sorry things are this way” “did you actually go through everything that i heard, I’m sorry about that, are you okay?” “you’re so cool to have faced it…
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The horcruxes
(Fanfic) Harry never felt like he owned an explanation to anyone. But it looks like people are bound to misunderstand him if he is mute. Honestly, Harry never asked anyone to speak to me in a “special way”. He is very much capable of going on with day to day life conversations without being spoken…
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Why do I feel he is still here?
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) The guy I’m in love with left me. But my heart is not able to accept the fact he is gone. I feel he is still here near me and in my memory. I keep reliving those memory. I know it will blur one day because there is so much space…
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Power of a hug
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) A long time ago, there was a lot of misunderstanding and I was mute. I wished I was Renesmee, but I wasn’t. I spoke few words to the chaos that was happening around me. No one was listening even though I spoke to them and said all I needed was a…
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Thoughts after watching Avatar
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) The humans portrayed in the movie is the extreme of what we see in reality. Sometimes some people around you gets so cruel for their own selfish needs. The power clashes gets so brutal, they don’t really care about a good person or her mental health. They exploit you to the…
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Let’s talk body shaming
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I am very well aware of this topic mentioned in the title because I’ve dealt with it my whole fucking life. As far as I can remember I’ve always been skinny and wheatish complexion and my hair has been frizzy. Which I feel is not a sin but the amount of…
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Me too
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Like every girl reading this blog I’ve been sexually assaulted too. I still remember the first time it happened, it was in school when I didn’t know what sexual assault is. My uncle lied to me and took me to Kerala in a local compartment. I still hate my uncle for…
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Dear younger self
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’m so sorry for everything that you had to go through. I’m sorry people misunderstood you. I feel awful when I think about what you were put through because you were mute. I am sorry I hated you for a long time for not standing up for yourself when all you…
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My Voice :)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Sometimes I forget that I have a say in things. Sometimes most of it is blank. Sometimes I forget that I haven’t communicated certain things which might be essential to be communicated at a point of time when I am misunderstood badly. It might be because I didn’t know why and…
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Dressing for revenge?
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Everyday when I wake up I wanna look my best even when I am at home because there was a younger me who used to cry and cry because I couldn’t do it even if I wanted to. There was a younger me who was made fun of for wearing the…
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The only thing missing in Brahmāstra: Part One – Shiva
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I would like to start by saying that, this was one of the most exceptional movie I’ve watched in Hindi in a very long time, but then again, I don’t watch much Hindi movies, so I want to stress on the letter “I” ( so no offense to other exceptional ones…
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Karma is unnecessary :)
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) After much thought and reflection, I feel karma is an unnecessary word. When your friend, boyfriend, parents or whoever hurts you, your first thought maybe karma is a bitch and you might hate on them, vocal or not vocal. I might have done it too. More than necessarily. But hey, not…
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lets see sex and masturbating in indian POV
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) why the taboo around talking about sex when it’s as normal a thing a person does like walking into a restaurant to have dinner? I do not know, do not look at me. Please look at Rajesh uncle and Bina aunty who doesn’t give Chintu sex-ed talk in his teenage years…
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Dating and everything that comes with it
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I started dating without understanding the ABC of it. So obviously made a lot of mistakes along the way and now I feel I am at a much better understanding of the whole concept. I just got discharged from the mental hospital (kidding lol or am I ? *raises an eyebrow*)…
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I found my way around Therapy
(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I started therapy really young, in my early twenties, when I didn’t really know what it meant. If you’re wondering why, well, I was bullied badly and my parents freaked out because I wouldn’t stop crying. Yup, that’s why. As you might have guessed already, I didn’t really have a clue…
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Empathy is dead
(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Trying to find empathy is a lost cause in today’s world. I only find it in the talks with my therapist, then i think to myself, are they doing it because they are paid for it? we’ll never know. The other day, i was telling someone close that, I’m dealing with…
rachana rajan <3 