Category: Uncategorized
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I’m really sorry for repeating things multiple times. I’m so fucking fed up. People forget I’m a human being. I’m so fed up. I’m sorry but I’m not like other famous people. I have a lot of problems. Please just let me be. I’m always just minding my own business.
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An apology from people who did that could have sorted this. But it became so big and out of hand. Also, there was barely any friendship in the picture as well. I’m not holding anyone accountable or raising any complaint for what happened. I didn’t want anyone to get in trouble or loose their job…
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I don’t know why I keep repeating the same thing. It’s like every time someone does something or says something, I put it here. But unfortunately I have to repeat things multiple times for people to understand it.
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I do not want the best of both worlds. I want what I asked for. I decide what I want, I don’t want people to decide it. Also, whatever I said about the so called friends in the past is true. They were disrespectful, extremely condescending and I was kept under their foot like a…
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Also, please stop using the word cat to refer to me. Just because my niece looks at everyone when she is a toddler doesn’t mean she would be described as that even after she grows up into an adult. I’ve grown up a lot from 15 years ago. I’ve already said everything. Please don’t use…
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People manipulate the truth a lot to bring down the people who are at the top and successful. A lot of internal manipulations are going on. You would have understood this by now because of what happened with Voldemort, Lucius and others. I’ve already cleared everything. Please don’t believe anything you hear about me, unless…
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Someone is desperately trying to bring me down. India is getting the attention it is getting because of me. If Modi ji is reading this, could you please step up and do something please? I’ve spoken about everything and cleared everything. I’ve proved my innocence and sanity. I’m finally normal, I want to live my…
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The whole world is reading this. I don’t know why everyone are choosing to be quite about this?
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Honestly I’m not interested in sharing my content and helping anymore if this is how people treat me. Even after explaining and clearing everything, this how they treat me. I see even articles online trying to hurt me intentionally saying things like “I just don’t quit” etc. So many internal manipulations are happening this way.
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People keep gaslighting me wherever I go intentionally to hurt me, even in situations where it is not required. There intention is to hurt me. I’m not sure why because I haven’t done anything to anyone. I already spoke about and explained everything. Even in lakme, they were doing it. They kept saying higher prices…
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Today I went to color my hair and autos were refusing rides, in rameshwaram cafe they kept calling me crazy indirectly. In lakme they disconnected my call and refused the discount which was promised, I kept insisting and finally got my hair colored. I just persisted through the day. I don’t know why people were…
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I know I’m not crazy, that’s not my name and I don’t identify with it. But if someone keeps saying crazy in front of me, it just shows what kinda person they are. It doesn’t say anything about me. God bless their soul.
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When I said the door is open, I was speaking about the people whom I stopped speaking to. Just clarifying even if it is obvious.
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If Ginny is going to come back, I want her only and only after I get what I asked for. Also, the door is open if anyone is interested in speaking to me. I’m not really looking for friends at the moment because as I explained my plate is full. But if anyone is interested…
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I haven’t blocked anyone whom I stopped speaking to. If anyone is interested to speak, they can. But I’m not going to initiate because I haven’t done anything wrong. The message is conveyed. The rest is upto them.
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I find the waitress at 46 really pretty and the way she speaks is nice, when she pauses she pouts which is cute. Not just pretty, she is a good person too. She knows how to behave and she is friendly. Honestly, I have nothing against her. I’m just not looking for friends at the…
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Also, the notes app thing is my idea. I don’t know why my therapist said it’s hers when we spoke. But yeah, she did help me with a lot of things. I was extremely broken when I started therapy because of what happened to me and the assaults. Now I’m in a good place because…
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All the misunderstandings were cleared long ago. Do you see how people dug up the past that was cleared long ago after I spoke about the sexual assaults? It’s because they didn’t want to accept their fuck ups and they wanted to conveniently turn things on me. Do you see the manipulations that’s going on?…
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I always speak the truth. I’ve written down every single thought since 2 years. There’s a lot of manipulations that’s happening around me internally to bring me down and also, people are trying to save face. But I’ve risen beyond it and held on till now. And cleared every single thing and proved my sanity…
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I’ve spoken about and explained every single thing that happened. I’ve even spoken about things that’s none of anyone’s business. The world needs to understand that people are extremely good at bringing down people who are at the top by spreading false things about them, manipulating and spreading rumours that’s not true. Whatever misunderstandings there…
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I’m calling the men who sexually assaulted me as barbaric cavemen. And also people who felt it’s okay to torture me the way they did whenever I went out. I’m literally so fed up. I’m not talking about anyone else.
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Also, the YouTubers that I spoke about aren’t really my friends real time because we don’t actually text and we haven’t met. Maybe sometime in the future that might happen or it might not because no one knows what’ll happen tomorrow. But I do feel a connection, I don’t know if it’s just from my…
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A 16-19 year old girl with an underdeveloped mind of a toddler looking at people with an intention to make friends is different from fully grown creepy men staring at a 33 year old woman’s breast. Understand your mistakes. Also, I have never in my life stared at anyone’s body even when I was 16-19…
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Wearing white doesn’t hold any relevance to me. My consciousness is clear. I said I don’t like white before because of my anxiety. I have gotten over it and now white is one of my favorite color. It holds absolutely no relevance. Also, I have never in my life looked at anyone’s breast in real…
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People who fucking say stop shouting in the comfort of their shoes. Fucking stand in my shoes and say it. You wouldn’t last even for a minute. What I’m doing is exceptionally brilliant. So STFU please. Shouting is a normal reaction to all forms of torture that was thrown on me by barbaric cavemen. Also,…
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If you continuosly mentally torture a normal person and even sexually assault them. Also, fucking control their life. Any normal person would shout. FYI.
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When someone attacks us, if we shoot them back it’s called as self defence. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in that, even in the eyes of the court. Yes, I retaliated to the people who caused severe intense trauma. I take accountability for abusing them and retaliating. There is nothing wrong in what I did because…
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Every single person in this world stops talking to people who mistreat them. This is the basic right of a person. There is absolutely nothing wrong in what I did and my decision. I don’t know why this has become so big and why people are feeling it’s okay to assualt me like a psychotic…
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Everyone knows whatever I’m saying is right. Everyone knows my values are always correct. Everyone knows what happened to me and what’s been happening to me is monstrous and utterly wrong. Please put an end to it.
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There’s this Youtuber, Rachel. She is one of my most favourite person in this world and I consider her as Ron to my Harry. I found her channel many years ago organically and have been watching it ever since. After I became famous, we’ve been talking to each other through our videos. There were some…
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I have love in me and I love everyone from a distance that’s why I’m always kind and empathetic. I’m really sorry but I’m not like other famous people. My mind is extremely weak, I have a lot of trouble understanding and talking and interacting. To top it off, I have really bad anxiety sometimes.…
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People have got accustumed to using me and taking advantage of me and my kindness. They have gotten used to controlling my life and making full use of me. They have been using me so much that when I set my boundaries and asked for space, they turned into psychotic monsters. They started feeling that…
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Also, I said the only person I want to talk to is Ginny because she is important and special. She has made that place in my life because of the connection we had. I’m okay talking to her even when I’m suffering because she is the most important person in my life. I’m just waiting…
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If it was any other person in my place, people would have taken action against that restaurant. They would not have continuously stabbed that person. Trust me when I say this. Because it’s true. Because it’s me, people do whatever shit they want and get away with it. They are extremely unethical and unprofessional. They…
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I already said, I really like that waitress as a person, she is nice. I have nothing against her. I repeated it, couple of times. I’m not looking for friends at the moment because I’m not in the mindspace for it. My mind is really weak because of the enormity of the trauma I went…
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I think people are doubting my integrity? I guess that’s what this is. I’m not sure? I’m not sure what exactly happened or when it started or why it happened. But I’ve said everything that happened according to my POV. I’ve written every single thought since two years here. Also, after I realised what exactly…
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I’m not sure what exactly people are thinking about my last Instagram picture update and the music I chose. I was trying to convey something else. I think people are assuming shit about it. Whatever people are thinking, let them. I’m tired of all this. I’m tired of everything. I’ve been clear about everything all…
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I don’t say the complete truth always for the benifit of others and to not hurt people. Because I never want to hurt anyone. I let a lot of things slide and forgive. I’m two steps ahead because I can destroy people with the complete truth at any time. I just choose not to do…
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I’m speaking the truth. The whole world knows I’m right, but no one will accept it. If whatever happened to me would have happened to someone else, a lot of people would have been in trouble. If whatever happened to me would have happened to the people who are jumping around in the internet in…
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There is so much meaning behind Ron and Harry’s friendship. It was a bond that was created over time and it was special and it happened organically. Even Aditi and Naina’s friendship. Whatever was happening with that waitress and I was barely a friendship. She was forcing it each time I went there. There was…
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God are you seeing what people are doing to me for speaking the truth. The whole world knows I’m right and I’m being tortured for being right and having good values.
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And people are comparing that so called barely even friendship to Ron and Harry online. Also, calling me selfish for not wanting to be friends with a person who was treating me like a doormat to problem dump and absolutely nothing else. There was absolutely nothing happening in that friendship.
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Also, there was absolutely nothing happening in that friendship except for problem dumping from her side. It was barely even a friendship.
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All this started because I wasn’t interested in being friends with someone who was using me to dump her problems, when I had a headache and much bigger problems than her. People stop talking to people who mistreat them all the time. But in my case people continuosly forced me to talk to that person.…
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I was mistreated and I’m suffering because of what happened which wasn’t my fault. And people are helping the person who mistreated me by continuously mistreating me because apparently I’m not a human being and my feelings aren’t valid. They want to save his ego and name at the cost of my life by serving…
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Also, I had requested people not to manipulate my food and drink and they still did that. Why? Because I spoke the truth. FYI to the management.
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All the misunderstandings were cleared and buried long ago. Everyone accepted I was innocent long ago. But after I was sexually assaulted and I spoke about it. And also, after I spoke about what Dumbledore did. People dug up the past that was cleared and buried and tried to turn things around on me by…
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I was given spicy food at MTR too. FYI owner. Let the world be aware how I’m being treated for speaking the truth. This is how much people lack the ability to accept they fucked up.
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I was given a bitter hot chocolate at Starbucks near the temple. Intentional, not intentional? No one knows.
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Everyone knows my side of the story and why and what and everything. The way people are behaving right now is monstrous and atrocious. They lack the capability to understand and accept they fucked up, so they are just turning it on me.
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I don’t know why fully grown men feel it’s okay to sexually assault me this way. Also, nothing is being done about. Whatever I was doing many many years ago was like what my little niece does. Even my little niece keeps looking at me without blinking because her brain is not developed. Whatever people…
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I called the manager of 46 ounces couple of times to sort things. I guess his ego is not allowing him to take accountability for his fuck up, so he is avoiding me. I lay my case because I tried.
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I was the one who got hurt and was assualted. And people were continuously assualting me further wherever I go and also on social media for speaking the truth. This is so wrong and messed up. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people.
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I have a lot of love and forgiveness in me. So if I’m refusing to allow someone in my life again, even after the whole world talking about it, I have strong reasons for it. Learn to respect people.
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I never hurt anyone intentionally. Even if I retaliate, I will be doing it because of their BS. It will be correct according to the situation and what they did. Whatever people are doing is out of context and barbaric. Please learn to ask what happened.
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Whatever decision I made, to end a friendship or a relationship is the right decision based on my personal experience with that person. As I already said, I have absolutely no good memories with the people I ended things with. I have zero good memories. I do it after giving it a lot of thought.…
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I’ll follow everyone after sometime has passed. I just need a break for now. As I said, I don’t take these things so seriously.
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You can wear white and black all you want till the end of time. It holds no relavence to me. It’s 19th century era movie shit, as I said.
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Even Ginny doesn’t care much about social media. She gives importance to people in real life. I’ve unfollowed her so many times in the past but she is always so super chill. This is one of the qualities that I admire about her. She is literally the best person I know. Even my sister doesn’t…
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I’ve been calling the manager of 46 ounces to sort things as well because I’m okay now. But he has blocked me. So I can’t do anything.
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Please forget what I wrote about Kauvery Hospital and Dyu art cafe. I spoke to the managers and sorted it out. They were extremely good and professional over the call. I’ve never had any bad experience with them till date. Whatever I wrote here is the first time. We have sorted everything. Also, I’m okay…
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If people want to unfollow me, they can. I’m not going to post anymore, till I get what I asked for. I’m not interested in sharing my mind.
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I’ve unfollowed everyone from Instagram because I want some social media detox. Also, whatever profiles I follow is public and they don’t follow me. If someone doesn’t follow me they have no right to complain if I don’t follow them, this is basic. I’m not much of a social media person. I value people in…
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Everyone knows I’m normal and innocent. This is continuing because people are trying to exploit me. I refuse to share my gift. Even if I’m alone it’s okay because God is with me, so I’m not really alone.
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My life was sabotaged because a lot of people fucked up. I’ve spoken about everything. I was crazy because of the torture and I did a lot of crazy things as well. I don’t identify with it. Now I’m finally normal but people are not letting me live my life. There is so much internal…
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People are trying to make me sick and trigger me. I’m not sure who is doing it. Mother is helping them too. There are so many things happening. I was mentally tortured today, that’s why I shouted. It was a normal reaction. I don’t have anger issues. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. But people…
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I don’t have even a single good memory with the people I stopped speaking with. Not even one. Whatever decision I made is the right decision. My values are always right. Please trust me, people are extremely manipulative because the whole world is watching. Whatever I said about Dumbledore is true as well. There are…
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My throat was fixed and I took medicine today and again it became sore. I don’t know what exactly is happening. Someone please do something about this.
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Everyone in this world who is reading this knows I’m innocent and there’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t know why the world is watching this barbaric act and what’s happening quietly. I’ve always helped everyone and cared about everyone. This is my time of need. Please stand by me. I want to live. After…
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My experience with Kauvery Hospital.
I was mentally pressurized, so I shouted. Any normal person would have done that. This behaviour is so unethical for a hospital.
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As I said before, it’s because people around me refuse to take therapy, that I had to take therapy.
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People are scrutinizing me for speaking the truth. Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. Whatever is happening just shows that people lack the ability to accept that they fucked up.
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I haven’t done anything wrong. My consciousness is clear. I just spoke the truth about what happened to me. Also, I’ve cleared everything. I don’t know why people are behaving this way and why this is continuing.
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Please someone help me. Please. These people are doing all these things. I’m really tired of this.
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My experience with Kauvery Hospital.
They took me to a room and mentally assaulted me and cheated me. This is such an unethical behaviour from a hospital.
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India is getting a lot of attention because of me, but this is the reality of how people are treating me. If Modi ji is reading this, please help me and do something.
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Someone please do something. Please. I have never had a normal life. I want to live. The way people are behaving because I spoke the truth is barbaric. Please help me.
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There’s a lot of internal politics going on because people don’t like the fact that I spoke the truth. Someone please do something and help me. This is how people are treating me for speaking the truth.
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I had to call my mother and ask her to pick me because my heart was feeling weak. I haven’t done anything to anyone, everyone knows that. I was just speaking the truth about what happened to me. I don’t deserve to be treated this way. Someone please do something and stop this cruelty.
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My experience with Kauvery Hospital.
I went there to do a procedure. 3 months back when I did that in the same hospital, it was 400rs. Today they were saying it is 2000 and 5000. They started gaslighting me saying it is the same price since 2 years and mentally assaulted me. I demanded a refund and left. My heart…
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I don’t have even a single good memory with the people I’ve stopped speaking to. Whatever decision I’ve made is the right decision based on the personal experience I’ve had with each and every person. My values are always right.
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I’m really scared of mother and a lot of other people when I go outside because they intentionally keep stabbing me. I’m scared to eat as well. Please help me.
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Even if Ginny doesn’t choose me, it’s okay. I just want her to be happy. I’ll always be grateful for her love because it saved my life. I’ll always be grateful for my therapist as well, she went out of her way to help me and always believed in me. I feel God sent them…
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People are extremely manipulative and trying to keep a good name because the whole world is watching. Based on their manipulations, the world hurts me. Even now no one asks me what happened or my side of the story. Whatever I said about everyone is the truth. I always speak the truth.
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If people continue to hurt me even after saying everything, it’s because they lack the capability to accept that they fucked up. Also, everyone knows I didn’t do anything and I’m normal. They are just masochistic and a sadist, that’s why they are intentionally hurting me. I’m immune this BS. Your forgetting that God is…
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I guess I was convicted for something but I’m not sure what exactly because I didn’t do anything. I think that’s what happened. I’ve already said everything. I honestly don’t know what is left. Everyone knows I always speak the truth. If someone wants to know something, please ask me like a normal person instead…
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Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. Everyone knows what happened to me was wrong. I’m speaking the truth about what I went through because of each and every person and what they did. Everyone knows whatever I’m doing right now and the decision I made is right. Even if I’m speaking back to someone it…
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There was a girl Priyali Patra in my french class in Jyoti Nivas. She squeezed my boobs on the first day of the class and assaulted me. I was in trauma for a long time and I told Sowmya that I don’t feel good and this happened. She started laughing. I have gone through so…
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I’ve touched the stubble of only two men till now. Both of them sexted me. The man in Askaban, Akash KM continuously led me on, that’s why I did that. The only thing I did was touch his stubble. After that he assaulted me sexually through text and I blocked him. The other man is…
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I want to live. I have a strong feeling Ginny is going to come back. She is the only reason I’m alive now. I want a normal life. Away from all this shit. Please do something.
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A lot of people didn’t want the truth to come out. There were a lot of power clashes. People wanted me dead and tried to silence me again and again and again and tried to destroy me. But everyone knows the truth now. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my perception. I don’t think my parents…
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If I’ve made a difference in your life in any way. Please help me. I’m desperate. I’m getting really scared to eat as well. Please.
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I want to live. Someone please help me out of this situation. I’ve spoken about everything. Please help me.
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Also, mother is helping him. I’m honestly scared of mother. She is extremely manipulative. I don’t know what she will do and when. Based on her manipulations, the world hurts me. I’m hoping she doesn’t do anything again. I’m just waiting to move out.
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Dumbledore is fraud. He is lying and taking credit for what I proved by saying he already knew that. He doesn’t have a clue what he is doing. He is just working on fluke. He is faking it and he is extremely manipulative. He only cares about himself. He was extremely desperate to prove he…
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Dumbledore is faking it by saying he was trying to help me. He fucked up. He will never accept his mistakes. But I know the truth. Mother isn’t trying to help me aswell. My parents have been stabbing me continuously because they didn’t want the truth to come out. They were jealous of my success…
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All these things were happening so I thought Narayana Hridayalaya was intentionally not giving me video consultation with doctor. I’m sorry I shouted. I’m really not able to understand what is happening. What is intentional and what is not. Nothing makes sense. I’m getting really scared these days of people.
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Understand your mistakes and learn to respect people and their decisions. It’s high time people realised what they are doing is wrong.
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People don’t force Taylor Swift because everyone respects her decision. People just find it easy to control my life and hurt me based on the manipulations of others. Also, I’ve already spoken about everything. It’s high time people moved on.
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All this just because I’m not interested in being friends with someone who treated me poorly? I don’t see anyone forcing Taylor Swift to be friends with Kanye West and Kim. Then why the fuck are you forcing me?
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Yesterday I was scrutinized the whole day. I’m not sure why this is happening because I already said everything and explained everything. I don’t know what people want, tbh. I already proved my innocence and sanity. I’m finally in a good place and normal. I finally feel good in my mind and able to be…
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Yesterday again my throat was fixed but mother put a lot of spice and pepper in the mushroom. So last night again, I started feeling suffocated. I didn’t have money so I called sister to take me to the hospital but she switched off her phone. Today I’m okay again. I asked sister money to…
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I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity. Whatever I said that people did is true, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with my perception. There’s absolutely nothing left to say. People are just continuing this because they are not ready to accept that they fucked up, there is no other explanation for this.
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I’m not interested in rekindling anything with people I knew in the past. My decision is right based on the experience I had with them. I do not miss or care for them anymore. I have really strong reasons for saying this. Even if this continues till my last breath, this decision is not going…
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Everyone knows I didn’t do anything and my values are right. Everyone knows everything. Everything is over and done with. I even spoke about things that’s none of anyone’s business. I don’t know what do people want now. This is continuing because people fucked up and they don’t want to accept that they fucked up,…
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Unfortunately, I’ve never had friends in my life. I’ve been lucky to find friendship when I was in love. I’m lucky for the memories and I’ve made my peace with it. I’ve just had people who were extremely condescending, disrespectful and who treated me like a doormat in the name of friendship. I do not…
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I think people are just continuing this because they lack the capability to understand and accept that they fucked up.
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I’ve already spoken about everything. Please stop making assumptions on what I write on my notes. I wasn’t talking about my insecurity. I’m a very secure person. Also, I’m never clingy. But people who talk to me are, extremely. You have no right to judge me based on my texts with Ginny. We have a…
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I don’t know why people are continuing to wear white, I already said everything. There’s nothing left. Do the fuck you want, it doesn’t bother me.
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I had to silently listen to whatever psycho divorcee was doing in bed. If I say something or speak, he would start shouting and abusing. Even apart from bed, if I ever had an opinion, he would turn into a maniac and start abusing. In the past, I didn’t know I can just end the…
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When Ginny says she likes a woman, I like her too. She said she wanted to go to Thailand, I wanted to go too. If she watches a movie, I watch it too. If she likes a song, I like it too. She was my bestfriend and I wanted to do everything she was doing.…
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I didn’t feel anything for psycho divorcee, the guy with ugly dick, psychotic perfect man and everyone else I went on date with. I wasn’t attracted to anyone. I always felt something is wrong with me. Because of what happened with Voldemort, that feeling solidified. I didn’t want anyone to know something is wrong with…
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I texted few women on bumble and spoke to them. I was attracted to them online. But when they would speak about meeting, I would go into trauma and start getting scared. I would freak out and I would block them. Later I understood it’s because I’m not attracted to women in real life.
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I knew what’s Ginny’s type of women. So whenever I see someone who is her type. I would tell her I like them to make her happy. I didn’t actually like them. Whenever she would send me pictures, I would say I like them to make her happy. It wasn’t about the pictures, it was…
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Lucius used to ask me to look at women in Askaban. I don’t know why she did that. I would casually look and she would say, go near and stare. She sent me series with nudity in it and raved about it saying it’s extremely good and forced me to watch it. Honestly it wasn’t…
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I always say no to sex. I’ve never been in love so I haven’t felt like it. I was a virgin and psycho divorcee said he will marry me and kept manipulating me, so I said yes. When we were going to do it he removed the condom and threw it. I said no and…
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Please don’t manipulate my food and drink again. My throat was fixed with great difficulty. It’s getting better now. I always take really good care of my throat. Please don’t do that again.
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I was an innocent child and Bellatrix knew that. She was living in a PG and she immediately took a house for rent. She kept begging me continuously for one month to go to her house. She promised she won’t do anything except for kissing me. Then it was just horror. She used me as…
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I was attracted to neetu when I met her for the first time. But it was only for few seconds, so it’s not counted. I had a really strong platonic crush on teju when I met her for the first time, but it was platonic, so it’s not counted. My feelings for women is something…
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I fucking haven’t done anything wrong. My consciousness is clear. Also, I’ve spoken the truth about everything. I honestly don’t know what’s left. Why are people torturing me like this when they can just ask me directly. I’m so fed up, tbh. People should realise their mistakes and not try to turn things around on…
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Also, since people are so fucking interested in my sexuality which obviously is none of anyone’s business, I’ll let you know when I’m bisexual again. Leave me alone. Thanks.
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Also, I openly tell women I like that I like them. I have made a list. You can ask the people in the list. I openly told them I like them. I openly tell people when I like them. I don’t beat around the bush. I never stare at anyone’s boobs in real life because…
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Note.
I remember touching the stubble of men who lead me on or sexted me. I didn’t do anything other than leaning my head on Dhruv’s shoulder. He was the one who was excessively holding my hand and calling me hot. I was never interested because I was not present mentally every time I met him.…
-
Note.
Also, I never stare, I’m not sure why people think I stare and call me a cat. I’ve already spoken about it. I was socially awkward and shy. I didn’t know how to make friends and the conventional way to talk to people. I wanted to make friends before so I would look and keep…
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Note.
I was not mentally present when I hugged krutika. I was blanking out and weak. I remember Ashwin touching my hand during that time. I think I might have been thinking about something and squeezed her hand. But I’m saying the truth, I’m not attracted to women in real life, I never was and I’m…
-
Note.
When I’m mentally pressurized I have suspicion that I’m being poisoned. Otherwise I’m normal. I don’t know if this suspicion is just paranoid thought because of the mental pressure. Because I never have such thought otherwise. It’s only when people do whatever they do.
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Note.
The first time I saw a dick was when I went to Bellatrix’s house. I didn’t know what it was till then. I didn’t even know there is something like that. Bellatrix made me to keep giving him blowjob and taught me how to do it. He used to keep asking me to do it…
-
Note.
I’ve become really smart since a year after I started reading extensively and also because of therapy. I’m able to understand a lot of things, that I couldn’t before. That’s why I was able to prove that I’m normal. I feel spiritually elevated too after whatever happened to me last year. I’m able to understand…
-
Note.
I haven’t done anything to anyone. I don’t want to die. Everyone in this world is reading this. Someone please help me.
-
Note.
I’ve spoken the truth and the world knows it now. Someone please do something to get me out of this situation.
-
Note.
Mother doesn’t need a reason to cry. She is broken and for some reason she is desperate for me to stay sick. She is extremely manipulative. She is just like the mother in Everything Everything. Please help me.
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Note.
My throat was fixed yesterday but today morning after mother gave me coffee it started feeling weird again, so I didn’t drink it. Now I’m okay again. I asked mother to make breakfast and went to take shower but she intentionally didn’t make it. My new dress is cut at the back. I asked mother…
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Note.
I’m immune to what’s happening and I’m accustomed to this life now. I’ve learnt to take the control in my hands too. I’m not interested in sharing anything anymore till I get what I asked for. Please understand that it’s high time this stopped and please put an end to this. If people had empathy…
-
Note.
There were a lot of power clashes and a lot of manipulations and I was continuously silenced. But now everyone knows the truth because God was with me this entire time. I know the world is reading this. Please help me.
-
Note.
Everyone knows that I’m innocent and all the misunderstandings have been cleared. Everyone knows what’s happening to me is wrong and my life was sabotaged because of what happened. Everyone knows this is continuing because I’m being exploited like an animal and it is wrong. Please put an end to it.
-
Note.
This is a reminder that I’m not going to give and there’s going to be nothing from me till I get what I asked for.
-
Note.
Dumbledore and my parents are lying if they say, they were just making it look like I’m sick to save me because I was abusing people. I saw jealousy in mother’s face. I saw Dumbledore fuck up on his face.
-
Note.
What people are doing is wrong and it sabotaged my life. Whoever is responsible fucking understand your mistake. Please understand and put an end to it atleast now. Everyone who are reading this please help me put an end to this.
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Note.
On top of all this my parents have been continuously torturing me since this started to make it look like I’m sick. I’m not sure why. And the world has been hurting me based on my mother’s manipulations. My parents were jealous of my success too and tried to bring me down constantly. They keep…
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Note.
All this happened because I was not interested in being friends with someone who was forcing the friendship. Do you see how ridiculous this is? Are you in fucking kindergarten? How would you feel if someone scrutinizes you for every single tiny decision you make and hurts you. That too without asking and understanding your…
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Note.
I always take care of my hygiene and I was always maintain healthy distance from everyone. Maybe I didn’t do that when I was being tortured. But I do it now. I expect to be treated with respect and convention. People are always so unprofessional and they treat me really badly and unconventionally. I’m fed…
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Note.
Everyone who talks to me gets extremely clingy when they speak to me. Even the men I go out on dates with. They are extremely clingy and they keep forcing. They say I love you and force themselves in my life. Honestly, I don’t feel or see the love. They are just meaningless words. Also,…
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Note.
When I was in college a guy approached me and said the word dick. I didn’t know what that was at that time, so I asked Voldemort’s ex, let’s call him Ashwin. I think he was continuously talking about me after that because it’s after that the manipulations started. Voldemort kept saying things like, a…
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Note.
People are continuing to invade in my personal life because they lack the capability to understand they fucked up and what they are doing is wrong.
-
Note.
As far as I know all the misunderstandings have been cleared. Please understand that invading in someone’s personal life to this extent without their consent is wrong. Please put an end to this atleast now. Everyone knows I didn’t do anything wrong and my values are always right. There’s absolutely nothing left to say. My…
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Note.
When I say someone did something and someone behaved a certain way. I’m speaking the truth. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my perception. What I’m doing is innocently. But people do is intentionally. I behaved crazy and I was mentally unstable because of the inhuman suffering and torture. I acknowledge that. Also, I’ve spoken about…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything that happened and all my mistakes as well. I don’t know why this is continuing, I guess people just lack the capability to accept they fucked up.
-
Note.
I wanted to watch RHTDM but people are manipulating movie timings and price etc in the app. Let the world be aware of what is happening.
-
Note.
I respectfully ask people to stop interfering in my personal life at least now and give me privacy which is basic human right. Please understand what you are doing is wrong at least now. My life was sabotaged because of this shit, when someone could have just spoken to me like a normal person. Understand…
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Note.
Today father opened the door and his eyes immediately went to my chest. Everytime someone does this. I’m going to write it here, till people learn what they are doing is wrong.
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Note.
I do not want direct credit and recognition. Whatever is happening is fine. I only want the things I asked for. I don’t know how you ll give it to me. Please come up with an idea. I’ll be writing here only after that. I might just do YouTube till then. Depends on my mood.…
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Note.
Everything that happened to me is because my school fucked up, my family fucked up, my classmates fucked up. I was normal, I remember talking non stop and even singing in front of the whole class. After that whatever happened I was silenced and I got lost in my world. Voldemort knew I was innocent.…
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Note.
I respectfully ask people not to copy my reaction to sexual and mental harassments, domestic violence and rape and call them my flaws. I’m normal now and I’m well aware of all my flaws and shortcomings. Whatever I do is harmless and I’m always minding my own business. I was placing healthy boundaries that I…
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Note.
I haven’t done anything wrong. The whole world knows that. Whoever is responsible for this shit please accept and take accountability for your fuck ups, instead of trying to destroy me and hurting me. Sexually assaulting me is crossing the line, I’m a fucking human being. Gaslighting no longer hurts me. I’m immune to things…
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Note.
I don’t know why people feel it’s okay to sexually assault me this way. My throat was fixed with great difficulty, I swear to God if something happens again, I won’t forgive. I have been feeling extremely fucked up because of what’s happening since last few days. I have been just keeping a brave face…
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My experience with dyu art cafe.
Today I ordered chukk kaapi that I always order when I go there. They gave me a really strong drink that tasted so strong and acidic. I complained to them and the waiter came and looked at my cleavage when I was talking. So many other things happened today. People were intentionally gaslighting me and…
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Note.
I’m immune to what people are doing. My mind is always in harmony. I always have love in me and I always speak the truth. These are my superpower. Also, God is with me every step of every way. Love and truth always prevails. My consciousness is clear. Anyone who has a problem with what…
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Note.
People can do whatever they want, my mind is in harmony and I find certain things really funny, tbh. White is such a beautiful and heavenly color, I want to paint my room white.
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Note.
I value friendships and love when it happens organically. (Please ignore what happened when I was crazy because of the torture.) I don’t like being forced or forcing someone too. I tried falling in love again after Ginny and met hundreds of men, but it’s not working. So I’ve let it go for now. It…
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Note.
This is a reminder that I’m refusing access to my mind till I get what I asked for. I’m being selfish with my content and will continue to do so. I’ve already spoken about everything. Also, please don’t believe everything people say about me. People manipulate the truth according to their convenience and image. Please…
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Note.
I respectfully ask people not to copy what I did when I was being tortured mentally and sexually and call them my flaws. I behaved crazy because of the inhuman torture. Yes, I’m fully aware of that. I don’t identify with that person.
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My experience with 46 ounces.
Whatever I said about her is not because she was a waitress. Please don’t misunderstand me. I never differentiate people like that. Even if the owner of the place had done what she did, I would have reacted the same way. For me all are equal. I love and respect everyone equally. I know I…
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Note.
I know I do a lot of things that is different. I’m aware of all my flaws. Ginny is extremely good looking and smart and there are so many other great things about her. That’s why I want to give her the freedom to choose what she wants and I don’t want to force. I’ve…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I always had a throbbing headache because of my problems at home and I would just want some alone time. But she would keep approaching me to talk about her problems. I had bigger problems than her. She was not understanding that I needed space and I was going there to get some peace of…
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Note.
White is so classy and elegant. I love wearing it so much now. Also, BJ likes Magnolia in white so now it’s my favorite. It’s so nice to see people wearing it online and when I step out.
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Note.
I never stand too close to anyone. I always maintain healthy distance. I don’t know what people are trying to do moving away from me and over reacting, when I don’t even stand close to them. When I was being tortured mentally and sexually in the past, maybe I wouldn’t have realised what I was…
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Note.
I already told you everything that happened. I don’t care if people believe me or not. I know the truth and God was with me and He saw it too. Whatever happened with my mother as well, I have already explained everything. I’m not going to relentlessly prove myself anymore. I’m done explaining. Do the…
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Note.
I want to be with Ginny but I want to give her the freedom to choose what she wants. I know I’m different. The only thing I can do is love her till the very end. There are certain regular things I can’t do, so sometimes I feel I’m not good enough. So I want…
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Note.
I’m done being mad at the world for sabotaging my relationship. Because as I said, It was supposed to happen the way it happened and wouldn’t have happened any other way. It’s okay if Ginny didn’t choose me. I can’t do a lot of regular things so I don’t expect anything. I just want her…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I didn’t say the complete truth about the staff before, for her benefit. I didn’t want her to get in trouble because I don’t dislike her. I like her as a person, just that I wasn’t interested in being friends because she wasn’t understanding that I need space and I’m not interested in listening to…
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Note.
I’m okay listening to someone’s problems when they are important to me. Because I’m good at problem solving, encouraging and uplifting people. But I expect the same from them in time of my need. I never trauma dump because I don’t like getting advices. Even if I talk it will only be 5-10% of what…
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Note.
You cannot villianize someone for not wanting to be your friend or not liking you back. As long as they are respectful. We feel what we feel. Friend, found family, relationship, husband, family these are valuable things. I cannot give it to anyone who comes my way like candy during halloween. Also, I’m not really…
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Note.
I value my alone time. Sometimes I don’t feel like talking. I’ll be in my own head. I like to be silent and listen to music and do other things quietly. I will not be in a mind space to talk to people. I like my space and boundary. There is always a time and…
-
Note.
I don’t think I’m ready for the whole world to talk to me directly. I couldn’t even ask for refund from California Burrito because there were a lot of people near the counter. My voice didn’t come out and I forgot how to talk. I have so much anxiety sometimes. Sometimes my head gets so…
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Note.
I’m constantly scared of my parents. Sometimes it’s really hard to love them because of what they did. I talk to them when I feel love. I constantly practice forgiveness and compassion because they are old and try my best to maintain peace and love. I hope they reciprocate it till I move out. I’m…
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Note.
My consciousness is always clear and also, God is always with me. So my move is always going to be a checkmate. My values and beliefs are always good because I think with love. Which people around me often fail to do. Sometimes I feel maybe I am the holy spirit. I can relate to…
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Note.
I refuse to be taken advantage of and used. I’m not interested in doing social service anymore when I’m suffering. As far as I know, all the misunderstandings have been cleared and I’ve proved my innocence and sanity. I’m going to take the control of my life in my hands because I’m accustomed to this…
-
Note.
This is a reminder that I’m refusing access to my mind till I get what I’m asking for. Things I want, This is all I want. I’m not interested in being the richest person on this planet or anything. I’m not interested in being anyone’s God. Maybe I’m not ready for the whole world to…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
The staff was under the delusion that I was going there just to talk to her. I tried telling her many times that I’m coming here to read my book. If she sees me reading and she is busy, she literally asks me to go home. I tried making it clear that I’m here to…
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Note.
Whatever people are doing, the reality show, hacking my phone, interfering in my personal space, reading my personal messages etc is happening without my consent. No matter what the reason or intention, it is wrong. Privacy and space is basic human right. My rights are being violated to the extreme.
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Note.
She casually said she likes long hair when we were dating, so I’ve been growing my hair. I don’t think she would remember talking about it though. When we were dating I was so immature and childish. I was a hard core non vegetarian and I remember telling my friend at that time, I’m bored…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything. I don’t understand why people have access to my phone and why they are making a reality show out of my life. I don’t understand why I’m being exploited to this extent and why my every move is being watched and studied and spoken about. What do people want man?…
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Note.
I don’t understand why people are doing all this, tbh. I clearly said, I love and care about everyone from a distance. I also expressed, I have no animosity towards anyone and I have forgiven people as well. It’s my personal choice who I consider as my friend and allow in my life, I already…
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Note.
I’m not sure why people are so obsessed over every single thing I do. I’m also not sure why people hurt me without understanding my side of the story and asking me what happened. Even though I’ve continuously spoken about this since day one. I’ve continuously asked people to ask me “what happened” and they…
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My experience is 46 ounces.
I called the senior manager today to solve things. I told him the drink made my tongue itch, I almost fainted and was going to have a panic attack. I also spoke about the sexual assault and everything that happened to me that was wrong. He said, I’m disturbing him and I’m speaking bullshit and…
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Note.
I’m fed up of everything. This is reminder. I’m waiting for my direct credit and recognition. Till I get that, there is going to be no content from me. I’m not going to share anything more than required and I’m going to be selfish.
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Note.
Honestly, I’m fed up. I haven’t done anything to anyone. I don’t know what people want from me and why they are doing all this to me. Also, making a reality show out of my life and hacking my phone without my consent is wrong.
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Clarification.
My keeps doing things to get a reaction out of me and waits. Once she gets it, she starts thriving in drama and constantly tries to gain leverage. And then the world hurts me based on my mother’s acting. Honestly, all this is too much. I’m hoping they don’t do anything going forward. I’m so…
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Clarification.
Everything mother was doing since day one was an act. She told me she was doing everything to bring me down because she was jealous of me. She asked me to remove my tattoo of her name. She pushed me and became serious. She said she wanted me to suffer and die. I think no…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
Since everyone in this world are reading my blogs, I hope the owner of 46 ounces reads this and understands how I was treated.
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Note.
Honestly, I don’t talk about my personal life with anyone. I’m writing about it lately because she has moved on and I’m just putting all my unsaid words and feelings here. I think she is reading it since everyone are. I don’t know if it changes anything? I so want to talk to her. My…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I was sexually assaulted when I stood up for myself when someone hurt me and used me. They forced me to leave and screamed at me when I confronted their shit. Do you see how wrong and messed up all this is? I’m unable to come in terms with this.
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I’m still in a state of shock and feeling anxious after what happened. I honestly didn’t do anything to deserve what they did. I’ve always raved about that place in my YouTube and have been going there regularly since I moved here.
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I forgot to mention. During whatever beef was happening between us, they removed what I always order from the menu. Honestly, I didn’t do anything to her. I was always polite and kind whenever she approached me. After the staff gaslighted me brutally and hurt me, she started talking about my reaction to her torture.…
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Note.
It took me a long time to make peace with the fact that we weren’t following each other on Instagram. I remember crying so much for weeks and weeks about it. I love seeing her pictures and stories. I used to keep seeing them all the time. I remember them even now after two years…
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Note.
I love and care about everyone from a distance. But it’s not humanly possible to accept everyone in my close circle and my life. I like to keep things casual. I’m extremely picky on who I allow in my life. My mind is weak. I don’t feel comfortable around a lot of people. I don’t…
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Note.
I don’t ruthlessly cut people off. I always give benefit of doubt, I let things slide and forgive. But once it reaches it’s threshold and I get severely hurt, I let go. I take time to heal and I do the work. After that, there’s no looking back. I’m an overthinker, so if I’m deciding…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I almost fainted in the auto back home. I was going to have a panic attack after I reached.
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My experience with 46 ounces.
The senior manager screamed “get out of here” and they forced me to leave. I was treated so poorly and barbaricly when I didn’t do anything wrong. Even after everything that happened, I went there only because he promised me he will treat me well.
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Note.
Another reason I don’t talk to anyone when I go out is because I’m not interested in being gaslighted. So I always keep things casual. Till I get direct credit and recognition, I’m sorry I’m not interested. I always care and love everyone from a distance. I always mean well and I’m always empathetic and…
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Note.
I think by now people already know I never do anything to anyone intentionally. I always have good values and I always mean well. Also, God is always with me. If you are messing with me, be aware that I’m the fire and I’m going to rip you apart with the truth. The old Harry…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
Honestly, I never speak to anyone when I go out. I have no intention of making friends or dating. I have a lot of problems at home, so I go out for some peace and quiet. I’m also extremely heartbroken and I’m trying to process my thoughts. I don’t approach anyone. But if someone is…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I was always minding my own business the entire time. I have never approached the staff myself or initiated any conversation myself. I just texted and called her 2-3 times first, but that became one sided so I stopped. I continued minding my own business even after that, but she keeps approaching me whenever I…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
My hands are shaking and my heart is beating fast. After I drank the bitter hot chocolate, my tongue is still itching and my throat feels weird. I’m on the verge of having a panic attack and there is no one to talk to. I’m just listening to Taylor Swift. I have always spoken good…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
God was with me and He saw what they did. God will definitely punish them.
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My experience with 46 ounces.
This barbaric incident happened to me because I was not ready to talk to someone who was using me to dump her problems. There was absolutely nothing else happening in this friendship. There was no value added in this friendship. Also, I have so many problems of my own so I took a step to…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I didn’t do anything wrong and I was treated so badly and inhumanly. God will definitely punish them for sure.
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My experience with 46 ounces.
Also, the staff gave me her number and asked me to text her to meet outside. I texted her 2 times. But she never makes any effort to maintain the friendship. She never texts/calls first at all. She always expects me to text and call first. It started becoming one sided. The only thing she…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
Also I was fucking sexually assaulted when I stood up for myself, the male staff kept ogling at my chest and no action was taken for it. Am I not supposed to stand up for myself when I’m treated like a doormat? God is going to punish them for sure.
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My experience with 46 ounces (continued)
Honestly I go to cafe/pub so that I can read my book and get away from problems at home. I do not go there so that the staff can trauma dump on me every time I go there. People take advantage of my kindness and empathy and use me to dump their problems. Honestly they…
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My experience with 46 ounces.
I’ve been going there since 2 years. Since I moved to Electronic City. I always mind my business and read my book or work. I have a lot of problems at home so I go there to get some peace of mind. Sometimes I cry. Whenever I cry they play music intentionally so that I…
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Note.
When everything is peaceful and calm, I start getting scared because parents don’t like peace and quiet. They do things intentionally for a reaction and based on mother’s manipulations and fake drama the world hurts me. I get hurt twice. Always. I’m hoping they don’t do anything going forward. I’m tired of being fucked over…
-
Note.
This is a reminder that I’m waiting for my direct credit and recognition. Also, I need privacy which is basic human right. Till then I won’t be sharing anything more than required.
-
Note.
If you were in my place and gone through immense domestic violence and mental and sexual assaults, you would scream too. On top of that, my parents keep stabbing me intentionally. They are extremely dysfunctional as well. Any normal person will shout in such toxic circumstances. My sister used to scream and fight everyday when…
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Note.
I never trauma dump. 90% of what I’ve written here I haven’t spoken about to anyone, not even my therapist. I never call anyone back to back or continuosly, unless it’s an emergency or if that person does it to me, I do it to them. I would like to repeat myself for the message…
-
Note.
People have been hurting me based on the manipulations of people who speak to me. Also, without understanding the complete picture and what made me react that way to them. I always get hurt twice, always. I’ve already spoken about this and everything. Please ask my part of the story before deciding things and hurting…
-
Note.
I do not hate my parents. I already said I’ve forgiven them. I wrote about what happened to clear things that I do not have anger issues, that’s it. As I said before, I expect them to move on and start a new life. I expect them to not taunt me again. They are old…
-
Note.
I respectfully request people to stop interfering in my life to this extent and stop exploiting me. Please give me space and privacy. This is basic human right. I’ve already spoken about everything, there’s absolutely nothing left to say. Please for the love of God, respect my privacy. Also, I will create content once I…
-
Note.
I clearly explained that I do not have any anger issues in my previous blog. Please do not make me repeat myself.
-
Note.
This is a response for what I see online. Please don’t make me repeat the same thing again. There is/was nothing wrong with my perception. I have never needed medication. People sabotaged my relationship and my life, this reality is not going to change. Please take accountability for it and don’t manipulate ways out of…
-
Note.
People need to accept the fact that they sabotaged my relationship and my life. They are continuing to sabotage what is left by invading in my personal conversations. People need to understand that invading in my space and privacy without my consent is wrong. When I say someone did something, you have to believe me…
-
Note.
This is a reminder that I’m waiting for my direct credit and recognition. Till then I’m being selfish with my content. Also, I request people to stop reading my personal messages. Invading in my privacy is wrong, please understand this and put an end to it.
-
Note.
There are so many similarities between Maddy’s mother in Everything, Everything and my parents. That book is exactly my story. Every single thing about that book is exactly my story. The resemblance is uncanny.
-
Note.
I feel the world is trying to fix things between Ginny and I? I’m not sure. I want to move out before that. Please give me money to move out. It’s taking superhuman strength every minute of every day. Please give that to me first. I do care about my parents, I feel I would…
-
Status update.
My heart hurts. My tongue hurts at the corner. (idk what happened) All I can think about is kissing her eyes. Her memories are like never ending reels doom scroll everytime I close my eyes. There is AR Rahman music playing somewhere in the background always. I’m so sleepy. Goodnight. ⭐
-
Note.
I think it had to happen the way it happened and wouldn’t have happened any other way. I was so angry about losing Ginny and kept thinking I will never forgive. That’s why I was able to write what I wrote and fought relentlessly. Ginny fell in love with me when I was going to…
-
Note.
I think I took it too far with mother few days back. It’s my fault. I was so fucked because of everything that happened. But that’s no excuse. She did the same thing to me. But maybe I shouldn’t do it back because she isn’t resilient as me. I take responsibility and I’m sorry. Also,…
-
Note.
I don’t like the matcha tea at 46 ounces anyway. It wasn’t good. Also, I don’t like the paratha at social. I couldn’t care less if they removed it from the menu.
-
Note.
It is not what mother says that triggers me. It is the intention behind it. She is doing it intentionally. I draw boundary and ask her not to do something and she does it intentionally again and again and again till I break. If she sees something is bothering me. She keeps doing it intentionally.…
-
Note.
I don’t have the peace of mind to process or grieve the heartache because of my parents. Honestly I’m tired of being fucked over by them. I don’t want to be a part of this narrative and keep talking about what they did everyday. I can’t think about dating as well, even if it is…
-
Note.
Mother keeps stabbing me intentionally for a reaction and waits, when she gets it, she thrives and willows in drama and sadness to fuck sympathy. She constantly tries to gains leverage and manipulates, fakes and betrays. She doesn’t like peace and quiet. She will go to any extent to sabotage my peace and life. She…
-
Note.
This is a reminder that I’m waiting for my direct credit, recognition and money. Till that happens I won’t be sharing my thoughts, learnings and content. I won’t be sharing anything more than required and I’m going to be selfish. I’ve already spoken about everything and I don’t think there’s anything left. Continuing to invade…
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Dear Diary.
I went to the place we last met and sat at the exact table and my heart was aching thinking about how I behaved. I wanted a time machine to go back in time and say the right things. Do the right things. And maybe in an other universe I must have and maybe in…
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Dear Diary.
I think even if mom is triggering me intentionally, it is up to me to not react. What she does isn’t in my control but my reaction is. So I should work on my reaction. The problem with me is, with my parents, once it starts it doesn’t end. I’ve gone through so much and…
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Dear Diary.
She is so good and respectful in the way she speaks since day one till the very end. She literally hasn’t done anything for me to dislike her. I love the way she thinks and so many other things, like everything. (I don’t want to say) I don’t know why I’m still thinking about it.…
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Clarification.
Now that I think about it this whole threesome thing was a misunderstanding between Ginny and I. I thought she wanted it, she thought I wanted it. I was trying to be okay with it and felt I could do it because I was attracted to few women online. Then the thought kept bothering me.…
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Clarification.
Please ignore what I wrote. I’m really fucked up because of things at home and also because I don’t seem to have privacy even on my phone, I don’t really understand why? I’m unable to be happy even if I won. After everything I went through, it’s like idk. I’m just waiting now. For privacy,…
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Clarification
I don’t really talk about Ginny with anyone, I haven’t really said much to my therapist as well. I’ve never spoken much about Will too. I’m kinda like that. I don’t share much about men I love. I like to keep those memories and thoughts to myself. I don’t say more than required. So many…
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Clarification.
I don’t have anger issues. What you see on my YouTube is my real personality. Also, I cry a lot. It’s extremely toxic at home. That’s why I’m this way at home. Also, I went through so much torture so I was crazy. I don’t really identify with that person. I’m just trying to forget.…
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Clarification.
I’ve already spoken about everything. I don’t see the point of why people still have access to my phone and messages. People need to understand that invading someone’s privacy and space is wrong. I’m not sure what people want from me exactly anymore. I’m not sure what exactly happened as well, tbh. And why I…
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Clarification.
My parents don’t care much about me. No matter how much I forgive, love and try to maintain peace, they keep stabbing me for a reaction and distrupting the peace. I’m not sure why and what is the intention behind this. I’m hoping they will stop now atleast after what happened. It’s extremely hard to…
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Clarification.
I already placed a boundary two times, asking people not to interfere in things at home. No one in this world can do what I’m doing. Also, I never interfere in someone else’s home. That’s why I said that about Rachel. If she does something again, I’m sorry but I have to cut you off.…
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Clarification.
I used to be fucked up like mother until recently. But I did the work and learnt to cope and deal with things, hence I’m able to handle things now. I asked mother many times to take help so that she can work on herself too. But she refused because of the stigma. My parents…
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Clarification.
I saw people online intentionally hurting me for what happened at home, which started because mother was stabbing me intentionally for a reaction. Like she has done many times in the past. It got out of hand, yes. I did not see it coming. But it wasn’t my fault. I was on the verge of…
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Clarification.
People sabotaged things between Ginny and I. Period. They are continuing to sabotage by interfering in whatever is left. I do not appreciate unsolicited advices on my personal life. I’m sorry, I don’t want to sound mean but please stop. If people still have access to my personal messages, please put an end to it…
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Clarification.
Also, you can’t force people to like you or be friends with you and accept you in their close circle. I decide based on the vibe and how they treat me. If it’s not working, people should learn to move on and not force. You should not demonize someone for not liking you back and…
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Clarification.
I asked brother in law to sell my dumbbells in OLX when he is free. He was lazy and didn’t want to do it so he said, ask sister. I called sister and she was busy in meeting. So I said to brother in law sister is busy can you please do it when you…
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Clarification.
I always get hurt twice, always. The hurt that people cause me and the hurt that the world causes me for my retaliation. I retaliate using the same words that people use to hurt me. If someone asks me what happened like a normal person, they would know this. I’ve spoken about this since day…
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Clarification.
Psychotic perfect man (aka Ajesh A) was a maniac. He doesn’t know how to talk or to form a connection with someone. He is a terrible kisser and doesn’t stop kissing even when I stop and turn my face. He kept abusing me constantly and kept pointing out everything that he thought was wrong with…
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Clarification.
After meeting almost hundred men after Ginny, who wanted commitment, marriage and all those green flag stuff, I realised I couldn’t care less about them. Even if they had a pretty face. I wasn’t able to connect with anyone and I didn’t see it going anywhere too. It didn’t feel right. I didn’t even like…
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Clarification.
I know mother really well. If I say something is intentional, you should believe me. When I say someone is doing something, you should believe me. Because I know things.
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Clarification.
I don’t understand why Varsha Vinod got offended when I said I don’t like any women in office because I don’t find anyone who is my type. If she is straight, why the fuck does she even care. Also, I said she looks different because of her hair. She is so fucking insecure about herself,…
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Clarification.
When I started speaking I considered everyone as my friend and smiled waved etc. I didn’t understand the conventional way. But after a while I grew up and made friends organically. But they never reciprocated the same efforts. I was becoming normal but I was pushed down by the world. After that, I was crazy…
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Clarification.
Every person I casually talk to is not my friend. Friend is a valuable word for me and I don’t give it away just like that. Sometimes the vibe is off, please don’t force interactions and force me to rebuild connections. If I cared the connection would happen organically. Also, I’m not interested in talking…
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Clarification.
I was in the same state as mother was 2 days ago almost my entire fucking life. I don’t know why people are choosing to be blindsided about my hurt. I’ve said every single thing that happened and I don’t even get a fucking sorry.
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Clarification.
If you see me hurting someone verbally, please ask me what did that person do. Because in my 33 years of life, I’ve never hurt anyone intentionally. Also, I’m always direct. When I hate someone I directly say I hate you to their face. When I like someone, I directly say I like you. When…
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Clarification.
I don’t trust my parents blindly and my body is always on alert because of them. My life is on full stop right now waiting for my money. Even if some miracle happens and Ginny comes back, I can’t sustain it. As long as I’m in this house, my life is on full stop. Even…
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Clarification.
You need to believe me when I say this, mother is a sympathy fucker with fucked up values. She thrives on sadness. Father was a barbaric caveman. They have kinda changed but not completely. They need to work on themselves a lot. When I say they are doing something intentionally, you need to believe me.…
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Clarification.
I was on the verge of dying many many times my entire life because of people around me and my parents. Exactly like what happened to mother two days ago. I was in the same state as mother couple of weeks ago because of mother’s torture. I’ve been working on myself constantly so I’m able…
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Clarification.
I continuously thought about what Ginny said and tried to make sense of it. But I couldn’t. I felt it must it must be a misunderstanding and wanted to ask her when we meet and let it go. But it’s too late now. Also, I kinda fucked it up when we were dating because I…
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Clarification.
My manager at Ministry, Sana, calls me back to back 3 times if he has something to say, even if I’m on an other call. So I do the same to him. My laptop broke, so I called him back to back three times. Just like what he does. … During that time, When Ginny…
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Clarification.
Every hurtful word I’ve said to someone is a retaliation for what they said/did to me or what I went through because of them. I have never hurt anyone intentionally in my life. I take accountability for abusing, but they are well deserving of it. Sometimes people are fuck ups and they do things intentionally.…
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Clarification.
I’ve spoken about everything and I have taken accountability for my mistakes. People need to own their fuck up too not turn around their barbaric narrow minded attrocity at me. What the actual fuck man. Whoever is responsible bloody own your fuck up. I faced the consequences of people’s wrong choices, evilness, narrow mindedness, mistakes,…
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Clarification.
A lot of people fucked up. A lot of people. People need to learn to own their shit and take accountability for sabotaging my life. People need to understand what they did was wrong, masochistic, barbaric and attrocious. Don’t turn it around on me.
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Clarification.
Everything that happened to me is because people lacked the empathy and understanding to sit down with me and ask me “what happened” like a normal person. It’s because Voldemort was evil and he fabricated the truth. It’s because people were barbaric and lacked the ability to understand and talk like a normal person. It’s…
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Clarification.
I was extremely suicidal and on the verge of dying couple of weeks ago because mother tortured me. Mother did the same thing two days ago. I said the things she said to me back to her and she completely lost it. Exactly how I was couple of weeks ago. When I was on the…
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Clarification.
Now that mother got the taste of her own words, I’m hoping she learnt her lesson and she won’t intentionally stab me again. I don’t expect parents to change though. I’m tired of being fucked over by them again and again and again. I don’t trust them.
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Note.
So many people fucked up. So many. There were so many power clashes. So many people tried to silence me and wanted me dead, time and time again. Because they didn’t want the truth to be out. I can’t work anymore because my life is sabotaged. People don’t know how to behave around me and…
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Author’s Note.
I’m not talking about anyone in my fanfics it’s purely a work of fiction. I’m just helping people and empathizing and stuff. If you are taking personal meaning, please see Dumbledore. He will give you “magic medicine” and say you are alive today because of him and take credit for your reselience and courage. He…
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Clarification.
I wasn’t trying to show off that I’m strong. I falsely assessed the situation thinking mother will be able to handle it. Anyway, I’m just going to be silent henceforth.
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Clarification.
I’m not trying to put father down or make him look bad. I’m just trying to make him understand what’s going wrong so that he can work on himself and change. I don’t think he will do it again considering how mother is right now. But I just want him to be self aware. Also,…
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Clarification.
Yesterday mother gave tea with sugar to father and he started abusing and shouting asking her to take it away. After mother hurt herself yesterday, I started panicking and said immediately I’m calling the ambulance and father started boiling and came swiftly towards me to throw the phone from my hand. Mother kept saying she…
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Note.
I’m already successful, but my success isn’t given to me. My family and I are suffering living in this tiny apartment without money when I’ve already made the money to live a comfortable life. There are so many problems living together, when I’ve already made the money to place some distance between us. The whole…
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Clarification.
Mother isn’t as strong as me. I can handle the things she does to me but she broke when I did the same to her. She hurt her head in the midst of all this. I no longer want to fight with them again. I have let it all go. I’m just going to be…
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Note.
I’m going to share only the clarifications like this. There is going to be nothing else from me till I receive direct credit and recognition for my content. I’m going to be selfish henceforth.
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Clarification.
I don’t have anger issues. If you lived with my parents your whole life with immense domestic violence and every fucking thing they did to me, you would have reacted much much worse. My sister used to scream at the top of her lungs every single day when she used to live with us. Whatever…
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Note.
Please put an end to my suffering. I cannot live in this house with parents anymore. It’s really really hard. I just can’t do this anymore. Please give me my money. I’m tired of feeling suicidal almost everyday. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I’m already fucking successful. I’ve already said and cleared everything.…
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Clarification.
I don’t know why mother is desperate to make me shout. She is so fucking desperate to get a reaction out of me. She has been constantly doing this since a long time now. I’m tired to be honest. She keeps ruining my peace. I don’t know whom she is trying to help by doing…
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Clarification.
Mother and father has been continuously stabbing me since years to make me shout and get a reaction out of me. Mother told me today that they did that because they wanted me to die. To my dismay, they still continue to do it even now. They are extremely desperate to make it look like…
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Clarification.
The concept of platonic love, friendship, hugs, smiles is lost on people. Everything isn’t sexual man. People I knew suck. They found it easier to blame things on me because I’m different instead of accepting what kinda fuck up they are. I bloody faced the consequences of people’s wrong choices, narrow mindedness, mistakes, lack of…
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Clarification.
I think people call me a cat because cats stare. I honestly don’t know what started this. During school, after I started getting lost in my world, people around me ceased to exist. Honestly I didn’t know there were people around me. I was busy in my world, doing homework, studying, watching TV, talking to…
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Clarification
Lockhart even said things like, “I love your smile” and “I would love to meet you” last year to rekindle. The audacity man, I wanted to slap him and throw eggs on his head, bloody fake filthy motherfucker. .. Dumbledore making a mistake wasn’t wrong but he manipulated the truth instead of accepting he fucked…
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Note.
I can’t talk freely to Ginny as long as people are still interfering in whatever is left between us. Whatever we had was already sabotaged. Please give me privacy and space at least now. Thank you.
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Note.
Also, please don’t believe everything you hear about me from others. People always fabricate the truth according to their convenience and image. I’ve spoken about everything as far as I know and remember. So many things have happened in my life, if I have left out something it wasn’t intentional. If anyone wants to know…
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Note.
If people still have access to my personal messages. Please understand that invading in someone’s personal life is wrong and please put an end to it. I’ve already communicated this, I’m reaffirming my boundary so that the message sinks in. People already sabotaged my life without the basic understanding that I have a bloody life…
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Clarifications I.
Lockhart(aka Anurag Alva) didn’t come between mine and Lucius’s(aka Nida Sebha) friendship, that’s false information. Lucius was never a friend. I was too stupid to understand that. Lucius used to meet me only and only if he needed something from me. He was a negative emotional vampire who would text me only when he was…
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Note.
I’m not really interested in making a lot of money or anything else. But I’m struggling so much without money and staying with parents is really hard at times even if they have changed. I think I should think about me and be selfish now.
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Note.
There is not going to be any more content, words of wisdom or learnings from me going forward, till I receive the credit and recognition for it. As far as I know I’ve spoken about everything. I don’t think there’s anything left to say. If I want to clear any misunderstandings or clarify something or…
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Dear Diary.
My body and mind is always on alert when I walk out of the bedroom door and when my parents come inside the bedroom. I’m scared when mother will stab my trauma again for a reaction and when father will stare at my body with a disgusting smile. I don’t know when father will do…
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Dear Diary.
I kinda understand why Ginny didn’t choose me. When we were dating, she did all the right things and said all the right things. But I was a mess. There was honestly so much happening, so much harassments and I was extremely immature and lame back then. I fell in love with her. She had…
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Dear Diary.
Also, I don’t know why people talk to me indirectly and gaslight me and all that shit. I didn’t understand why Ginny was talking to me in contradiction. Saying she loved me indirectly and doesn’t directly, I mean, idk? Also, I don’t know what all those harassment was for. It’s high time people stopped pretending,…
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Dear Diary.
I honestly don’t know why there is intentional typos in the book that I read. And what people are trying to imply. I must have made typos in the past because of the mental torture. Honestly I don’t even remember. I don’t even remember the texts I sent to Voldemort and everyone else all those…
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Dear Diary.
Just talking to her and thinking about her made everything so much better. The pain in my mind and body because of what happened to me started fading and healing. She was the driving force to write this as well. And now things are so much better around me. Even if I don’t have money…
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Dear Diary.
After the last time I met Ginny I was in terrible pain. It felt as though my body part was cut off. I felt she doesn’t like me. I was really stupid to understand what had happened. I wanted the pain to stop, so I started talking to men and going on dates. The only…
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Note.
If people are reading my personal messages, please understand that it is wrong and put an end to it. I see reels online about things I don’t speak about on social platforms. Please let me be atleast now. I have spoken about every thing, there is nothing left to say. So please understand that it…
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Note.
Someone needs to take responsibility and accountability for what happened to me and what I went through. There are so many people involved and so many people who did me wrong. I didn’t do shit, I was just minding my own business. If anyone wanted to know something they could have just asked me like…
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Note.
Also, please stop connecting everything to my childhood. Yes, my childhood was bad. But everything is not because of that. I have social anxiety because of the continuous harassment and torture that I went through and also because every fucking person in this world knows everything fucking thing about me. I’m scared of my safety…
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Note.
I was in enormous mental pressure so I must have made typos while writing and texting. I don’t remember the things I speak when I’m being tortured. I don’t even know how it started. I don’t even remember half the things I’ve written in this website. I’ve been writing since two years and I don’t…
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Note.
I’m so tired. I’m not God. I’m a fucking human being. Privacy and space is basic human right. I’ve already spoken about every fucking thing. Please just let me be atleast now.
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Note.
Also, I don’t need unsolicited advice on my personal life anymore. I’m thankful that people care. But I do not like talking about it to anyone. It was going just fine till it was sabotaged. Please give me space and privacy at least now. Please just let me be.
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Note.
Also, please give me credit and recognition for my YouTube. My money is over and I’m struggling a lot. Even though I’ve forgiven my parents, it’s really really hard. I’m a fucking human being. I’m asking for my fucking money.
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Note.
People should understand when they should stop with whatever they are doing and when it has gone beyond the limit for a normal human being to take. I have had a shit life till now, when I didn’t deserve it. Please give me privacy and space at least now, that’s basic human right.
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Note.
My life was fucking sabotaged when someone could have just asked me what happened like a normal person. I want my space and privacy at least now. Please for the love of God stop.
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Note.
If people still have access to my messages and my phone, I request you to please just stop. I need my space at least now. Please respect my words and please put an end to this.
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Dear Diary.
I feel after years pass and you keep exposing yourself to new experiences and meet new people and also after you heal, things that happened in the past seem irrelevant. You can let it go and move on from something like abuse, domestic violence, someone sabotaging your life and rape even. With every experience comes…
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Dear Diary.
I don’t think I will fall in love again though. I don’t know why I said all those things. I’m sorry I feel really uncomfortable when my personal life is discussed online. I get really defensive sometimes because I don’t like speaking about it.
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Dear Diary.
It’s really sweet that so many people care. I feel okay now, thank you. I have so much love and respect for Ginny because she is a really good person. It’s just everything about her. I don’t want to talk too much about it because it’s personal. I always want her happiness, with or without…
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Dear Diary.
There is so much uncertainty in this world. Will I wake up tomorrow? What will happen tomorrow or even on the way back home today? For all we know there can be a fucking alien invasion tomorrow or our sun might decide to explode (God forbid, but stick with me here, I’m trying to make…
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Dear Diary.
I’m just saying all this from my experience. Please don’t make it a rulebook and blindly follow it. You know better about what you want and what you are looking for. I’m fully aware I’m different and maybe everyone won’t agree with me. You need to decide what works for you and do that. You…
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Dear Diary.
Also, please don’t fall for “I love you”, “I want to marry you” etc etc thinking those are green flags. Men say that to pretty girls all the time. I’ve heard that shit so many times but I’m still single because I don’t fall for it. These are just meaningless words because it doesn’t reflect…
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Dear Diary.
Also, it’s really important that you love yourself and forgive yourself for your mistakes, have grace and make amends for your mistakes before expecting anyone else to do it. You need to enjoy being alone and the solitude. Love your mind and your imperfections. It’s only then you will be able to make the right…
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Dear Diary.
What I feel is even if you don’t change the world or make a difference to this world because maybe not everyone gets to address the world, like the privilege that I have right now. But you can make a difference in the lives of people around you, your society, community and your loved ones.…
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Dear Diary.
What I’m trying to say is, you should be yourself and there will be someone out there who vibes in your frequency and want the things you want. I’ve been continuously talking about my thoughts and views. But this isn’t a rulebook to live by. You should never force yourself to conform and fit inside…
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Dear Diary.
I’m the kinda person who likes being alone. I don’t really crave sex or companionship unless I’m crazy in love. I never feel lonely or bored and thankfully I have my family with me so I’m okay. I don’t crave friendship as well because I’ve never been lucky in that aspect. This is me and…
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Dear Diary.
I think people think I’m Jesus? I’m not sure. This is too much to process. I don’t know how all this happened. I don’t know what to do now and what my life has become. I’m unable to come in terms with all this.
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Dear Diary.
Whenever there is a problem, my mind goes into problem solving mode. I pick at it from different perspectives and different POVs and try to understand what went wrong and where is it going wrong. If I’m unable to understand or find a solution, I keep it aside till I have more insight on the…
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Dear Diary.
I’m not really sure whether it was wrong to hate everyone whom I listed out who hurt me and wish karma on them. It felt right at that time because of the pain I was in because of them and it gave me a sense of relief. I feel, like in Harry Potter, there are…
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Dear Diary.
When I said I’ve let go of my hatred, I meant most of the people I listed out in red underline. But there were some people who were extremely evil and caused so much intentional harm. I’m unable to stop hating them. I think I should not force myself to stop hating them because what…
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Dead Diary.
I watched Deadpool yesterday. It was good. But it kinda bothered me why the villain was called Cassandra because it reminded me of Taylor Swift’s song. I think I’m thinking too much into things. I’m trying to be okay with movies being made about something in my life and people online talking about something I…
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Dear Diary.
I was in enormous pain because of what happened to me and I had all this anger and emotions inside of me that I let loose by writing about it all this while. It was cathartic. Now upon further reflection, growth and understanding, I feel I should just let it go and have grace. I…
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Dear Diary.
I don’t know what exactly happened or how it happened, but I think I get the enormity of the situation I’m in now. Somehow I’m as famous as Michael Jackson. It took me sometime to understand things and come in terms with it because I never wanted this. If the world is thinking of me…
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Dear Diary.
Since we are constantly engaging with people, accidents and misunderstandings are bound to happen. It is very natural. I feel we should never villainize someone over an accident. Bad things happen to good people, that doesn’t make them bad. The situation was as such and it was out of their hands. If you caused an…
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Dear Diary.
If I had succumbed to those bad thoughts all those years ago and acted on it, I would have taken away father’s chance to change, grow and make amends for his past mistakes. I would have taken away his right to live a long and healthy life and have peace. I would have never done…
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Dear Diary.
Why I said all that about overthinking is because so many unfair and alarming things have happened to me in the past. I’ve gone through so so much. You won’t believe how much pain and suffering. Every day was a brutal struggle and I didn’t see an end to it. One day when I was…
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Dear Diary.
I honestly don’t know why I get these reels on my reels tab and what’s wrong with my Instagram algorithm. It’s 3.26AM and I’m unable to sleep. I wish there was someone to talk to about this. I really wish people wake up and realise that we need to come together and join forces to…
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Dear Diary.
Then there are people who are evil and do horrors beyond unimaginable measures. I’ve been seeing so many things online. I honestly don’t get sleep sometimes.
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Dear Diary.
Mistakes. We’ve all made them. Some mistakes are irreversible, there is no going back from there. (I’ve already spoken about it.) Like rape and killing people, assualt. I saw reels were people cry after they make these mistakes and they repent. What I feel about this is, when you know you are going to regret…
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Note.
I know I’ve used certain words which might be very mean to talk about some people who hurt me. I never think or speak that way. I just want to make it clear, that was a retaliation. They used certain words to me and I’m just giving it back to them. They started it, so…
rachana rajan <3 