Category: Uncategorized
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Note.
I confronted mother again about the petrol statement. Father apologised on her behalf and resolved the conflict. Mother threw around a few vessels here and there. And that was the end of the fight. I complimented mother on the curry after lunch because it was good. Then I went for my walk. Now I’m in…
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Note.
For the record. Dudley’s father and I, have never had a one on one conversation till date. I have never opened my mouth and said anything worth speaking to him. Till date. He treated me shitty my entire life. I have already spoken about everything. Please refer to my previous blogs. He clearly knows and…
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Also, as I mentioned multiple times before. She was not interested in being friends. She just wanted to fuck me. I’ve spoken about this person millions of times since 2024. The truth is already out long long ago. I’m not interested in repeating the same things a million times more. Till you are satisfied. This…
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For what it’s worth. When I was Pettigrew’s age, I used to call everyone I spoke to casually as my friend too. I’m 34 years old now. I have knowledge, understanding and years and years of wound on my back behind me. I’m wiser. I don’t use the word friend loosely. It’s a valuable word.…
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I want a normal and conventional life. The truth is already out long long ago. What exactly am I waiting for? I’m not interested in repeating the same things everyday forever and ever till you’re satisfied. Everything is said and done. More than enough and required. Understand when things have reached its due course and…
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Please don’t support the perpetrators. You are setting an example to the world that when someone misbehaves with me. They will get attention and glory and public support. Please don’t do it. Please don’t enable this kinda behaviour.
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Please don’t support the perpetrators. The perpetrators just want the attention and glory that comes attached to me. When you support and normalise their behaviour. You are enabling it. When you enable it, people will have the mentality that they can do whatever fuck they want. Because the world will support and normalise their behaviour.…
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As for my mother. I will pretend like there’s no elephant in the room and continue with my day to day activities. Till I move out of here. I don’t hate her. I understand her meltdown. I hope she sorts her shit out. I will just maintain my distance and protect my boundaries.
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Note.
I confronted mother just now. I said to her the way she behaved was wrong. The only thing I said to her on jan 2nd was. “whatever Dudley’s father did on new year’s day was wrong. Please don’t wake me up when I don’t like someone. When I have been extremely clear that I don’t…
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Whatever might be Dudley’s father’s truth. His behaviour on new year’s day was wrong. He has no right whatsoever to cross my boundaries. I have already explained it clearly and elaborately in detail.
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I have been blinded by anger towards Dudley and her family. So I just didn’t want to associate with them. I have my reasons and my anger is justified. Anyway. I just don’t want to engage with them. It’s better that way.
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Whatever I said about Dudley’s father is not entirely true. It is true but the way I constructed the truth was mean. The thing is truth differs by the way you put it. I painted the truth in anger. So I twisted his words and actions because I was seeing him in that light. If…
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Note.
Many years ago, after whatever Voldemort did. When I was suffering and in pain. I had a dream that everyone in this world was speaking to Voldemort in horcruxes and she got her Karma. When I had that dream. I didn’t know how to speak and my mind wasn’t developed. I was crazy. I didn’t…
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Instead of chasing a connection with me because I’m shiny. Please focus on the connections you already have in your life. Cherish and nurture them. Because I’m not interested. It’s not humanly possible for me to be friends with everyone. I don’t make friends easily. I take a lot of time. A lot. Trust me.…
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I do understand Dudley’s father, the old man in my apartment, meghana etc. Are trying to redeem themselves by reaching out. But the redemption arc only works when there’s something between us to begin with. A connection, rapport and a bond. That was broken by misunderstandings. I can’t hand out redemption cards to random ass…
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Blood relative does not equate to unconditional love and unlimited free access. You reap what you sow. I said what I said.
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Just because someone is a blood relative. Doesn’t give them any right to cross my personal space and boundaries. They don’t automatically get access. I treat people based on my personal first hand experience with them. I have not forgotten anything. Stay the fuck away.
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If the world is interested in knowing something. Please ask me. There’s always two sides to the story. People are bullshitting in front of the world. Everything is theatrics. Don’t believe anything you hear about me. Until I say it. Please don’t support the perpetrators.
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Some grudges I take it to my grave. It’s subjective. I have not forgotten anything. Stay away.
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My parents keep saying stop shouting when my anger is justified. But they don’t introspect and reflect upon their actions and behaviour. They keep using crude and cheap malayali cuss words. Apparently that’s not wrong. But my justified anger is always wrong.
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My New Year’s day was spoilt by Dudley’s father. Jan 2nd was spoiled by my mother. I’m still getting over the trauma. I don’t know why my suffering never seems to end. Yesterday mother went crazy and verbally abused me continuously and tried her best to undermine me and lift up her fucker brother. She…
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After you become successful. Random ass side characters who treated you like shit your whole life and who were absent. Suddenly will start forcing a non existent friendship and relationship with you. They will start using words like “best friends” “true friends” “my favourite cousin” “my favourite niece” “chuddy buddy” “mele mein bechde hue bhai…
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Whatever I said about Dudley’s father is right but I painted it in anger. So it sounded harsh. I have my reasons to dislike them. Which everyone is clearly aware of. When you don’t like someone. You kinda start twisting their words and actions. And start seeing everything in that light. Hence it sounded harsh.…
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Note.
I complained to mom today about what Dudley’s father did yesterday. She completely lost it. We fought continuously for 2 hours straight. I was trying to calm her down. But it didn’t work. She was crying just now. So I tried to calm her down again. She told about what dad did all these years…
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I’m unable to get her picture out of my mind. I keep getting turned on randomly. I miss her so much. All this waiting. Gosh. All these feelings and no where for it to go. So I’m pouring it here.
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I have so much respect for Draco after whatever happened. God. Crazy. I don’t think I want to engage with anyone who doesn’t understand me and lacks comprehension and social skills ever again. Never again. Omg. I’m going to strictly protect my boundaries and space. I’m going to strictly protect my energy. You never know…
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Note.
When I was being sexually assaulted last year. I didn’t understand why it was happening. Because I have never done that. I clearly said on day one itself that I’m not attracted to women IRL. God. Whatever happened was crazy. I’m way too classy and sophisticated for this shit. If someone is deprived of social…
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I love clothes. I plan my fits. It’s so important. All my girl friends are the same. We speak about clothes regularly. We plan our fits before meeting. We compliment each other and hype each other up. I’m the ultimate hype person. They slide their eyes on my body contextually and hype me up like…
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I don’t know what I will wear when I meet Ginny. I haven’t decided. Fits are so important. I’ve been thinking about it. I think I should go shopping too. Before meeting her. I have to do all these basic stuffs first. I spent all my money on clothes in December 2024. Because I thought…
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My only intention was to tell my side of the story. I’ve said it. There’s nothing left to say. I’ve had an extremely difficult life. So I don’t wish to work again. I want to retire. I just need enough money to live a comfortable life. I’ve never wished for or wanted anything more than…
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I’m aware that I’m being mean and I’m hurting people. But that family has hurt me too much already. So I don’t care. I just don’t.
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I’ve already said everything that Dudley and her stupid family did to me. I no longer care about them. I really don’t want to engage.
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For the last time. I don’t respond to force and desperation. Also. Please don’t support perpetrators. Don’t enable their behaviour. Also. Please respect my personal space and boundaries. My boundaries are non-negotiable. No matter how many times I say it. Why is the message not clear?
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I don’t understand why people still don’t understand boundaries. You cannot lift someone’s blanket. When someone has been very clear that they don’t like you and don’t want to engage. You’re supposed to stay the fuck away.
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He has been fucking money from my mom and me our whole life. Now because we are struggling he is performatively giving mom money and brought something to eat. Because he knows I’m successful now. So suddenly all this show off. Bloody chuthiya. He has been fucking from us our whole life. He hasn’t done…
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Today my mom’s brother i.e. Dudley’s father had come home. I have been extremely clear that I don’t like him and he clearly knows it too. I barely slept last night. So I dozed off after lunch. And this annoying person crossed my boundaries and personal space and tried to force me to wake up…
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After this is done. The first thing I will do is go see a doctor and take my parents to the doctor. Then a dentist. Get my hair done. I’ll meet Ginny after that. I hope she texts me first. I’m just waiting.
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I’ve been waking up horny sometimes. Since the profile picture incident. I get angsty during the day randomly. Ah. I’m unable to get that picture out of my mind. To add to all this. I’m sick. Don’t ask. I don’t know how I’m holding on.
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Note.
And also, I’m not good at speaking. I prefer writing to speaking. I make a lot of mistakes and I’m slow. I have my problems. I learnt how to speak by myself a few years ago. So it’s not my forte. I also have an annoying voice. I can’t help it. I just do my…
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Note.
Anyway. I pushed the boulder up the hill once again. With the help of my wonderful community. So I’ll quit bitching and moaning on New Year’s day and stop killing the vibe. I’m sorry.
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All booktubers/bookstagrammers have their own personal preferences. They have books that they like and dislike. They shit talk about books all the time. But when I do the same. No it’s not allowed. I’m not allowed to have even the slightest of opinions. So hypocritical.
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Note.
Also. The colour white incident. I was speaking about myself. And my personal preferences. I still don’t understand the reaction that I got. Anyway. It’s fine. Because white is one of my favourite colour now. But fuck.
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It’s high time the world understood what the world did to me was utterly wrong, inhuman and barbaric. Because not only were these things happening. But also every single time I tried speaking about it to someone and opened up. I would be gaslighted. The scrutiny and torture that I went through was inhuman.
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The world also invades in the conversations with my therapist without my consent. And includes my personal thoughts and conversations in movies and books. For the benefit of the general public. And behaves as though it’s as normal as drinking water. And they are not violating someone’s personal space and boundaries to an extent that…
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Brain Dump 2.
Us lesser mortals are allowed to appreciate celebrities whom we will never meet and who don’t care much about our existence. Even if a possible boyfriend and possible husband is on the way. 😛
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Brain Dump.
Fuck this shit. I cannot wait for Nicola Yoon’s new book. I’m already excited. I love everything that she writes. At this point. I’m okay with anything that Ginny wants. Label? What’s that? I don’t care honestly. Fuck label. I’m so in my feels since she changed her Instagram profile picture. I’m going completely nuts.…
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I want injustice to be answered with justice. I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me. I fucking want justice.
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Note.
I hate it when the world does this. The way people invade in my personal life and normalise behaviours of the perpetrators. Also, support them. Based on lies and manipulations and one side of the story. This is what was going on my whole life. It was fucked up shit. If people were so interested…
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I was scared to wear revealing clothes and travel alone in the past because I was sexually assaulted continuously for a period of time. Also because of the rape. And the way men always behaved with me. When I was going to meet Ginny 3 years ago. The last time that we met. A woman…
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I don’t know why I’m thinking about forgiving. I hate them. Fuck this shit. I want justice. Not a good way to start the year. But yeah. That’s that.
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Note.
Everything worked out for good. I’m normal now. No one’s dead. The truth is out. So I feel like forgiving the perpetrators sometimes. I don’t know. It’s just a thought that I have been having these days. It was all based on misunderstandings and preconceived notions. They didn’t know what they were doing. People change…
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Whenever something happens to me. It happens on a large scale and it’s always blown out of proportion. Because the world gets to know about it. I’m always minding my own business. I never start anything. My first thought will always be to help you. I don’t proactively think anything negative about anyone. Please understand…
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I guess Draco is not reaching out because our friendship is severed. She did whatever she did. I retaliated and took revenge. I keep getting irritated because she’s not reaching out and say things like she doesn’t have the audacity to text. Which makes me unwelcoming. It makes sense why she’s not texting. Ah. I…
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As long as I exist in this reality and double life shit will continue forever and ever. I’m not the fucking problem here. Please put an end to this. What exactly am I waiting for?
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Some people smile a creepy twisted malicious cunning smile when they see me. Because they know for a fact that they have a leverage and they can take advantage of me. They are creepy fans who have a leverage. Anna from the crochet workshop who sexually assaulted me started smiling a creepy twisted smile when…
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I was speaking to my friend about Draco just now. Draco and I had a new years day ritual of meeting at Dyu art cafe and we would spend the day together. 2020 was the last time we did that. Looking back I just remember the good stuff. The bad stuff doesn’t matter anymore. I…
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People in my close circle are in my close circle for a reason. I don’t use the word friend loosely. I take a lot of time. I’ve already spoken about it. Anyway.
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I was in a really dark place after the friendship breakup with Draco. We were best friends for a decade. It was extremely toxic. Both of us are at fault for it. We stopped speaking at the beginning of 2020. I met Will in the mid of 2020. After he broke my heart. I was…
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Something is very wrong with me. There’s rashes on both my hands. I pee and poop erratically sometimes. I don’t really feel good. This has been going on for 5 months. Something is wrong with one of my teeth as well. I don’t know how I’m holding on. My parents are also sick. Please put…
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I’ve been sick for the last 5 months. I really don’t feel good. I need to see a doctor. Please put an end to this. What exactly am I waiting for?
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I learnt how to speak a few years ago. So I have an annoying voice. Everyone asks me to speak slowly. But I can’t do anything about it because this is how I speak.
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In retrospect. I’m okay with Will breaking my heart. Because I wasn’t in a place in my life to get married back then. My life was in shambles. I wouldn’t have married me either. The only conflicts we had was because he broke my heart. Also, because I was clingy and crazy. Also, the gaslighting…
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I’ve said it before saying it again. If you have misunderstandings and you lack comprehension. Just say you misunderstood. This is so much appreciated. Don’t state it as a fact and lie miserably. Also, don’t exaggerate it to make your actions justifiable. If Pettigrew had spoken the truth and said she misunderstood me. The casualties…
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Note.
I want injustice to be answered with justice. I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me. Starting from prison school up until unethical monsters at kauvery hospital. I have spoken about every single thing. I want justice.
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Note.
Ginny and I had a strong connection. Whatever happened 3 years ago sabotaged what we had. Also, I saw it on her face and eyes that she loves me the last time we met. Even if she didn’t say it. But I also saw that she was indecisive. I knew there were misunderstandings. That’s why…
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I’ve done so much work on myself. That now I don’t really have space in my life for someone who has not done the work on themselves. Also, refuses to do the work. Not only refuses but have built a camp on and are comfortable with lack of self work and self improvement. No. No…
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In 2023 and 2024. My throat was completely fucked, I was extremely suicidal and going through something very serious. That’s when these monsters were lusting on me, sexually assaulting me and torturing me. They are monsters who lack empathy and remorse. They are creepy fans who had a leverage.
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Note.
Please don’t support the perpetrators. The perpetrators just want the attention and glory that comes attached to me. It’s a win win situation for them. Please don’t give them what they want.
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Note.
I want justice for the smear campaign. I want justice for what the person who was controlling my surroundings and content did to me. I want justice for every single thing that happened to me at Kauvery hospital. I want justice for what the dentists did to me. I want justice for what happened at…
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Note.
I humbly request women to please stop behaving questionable. Please behave. Don’t make it weird.
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Note.
If there’s any kinda shady unethical behaviour or funny business. I’m going to be extremely vocal about it. If anyone does this for attention and glory. I will give you the attention and glory that you really deserve. So please behave. Please don’t start shit. I have been extremely clear about my boundaries.
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Note.
Also, I don’t really look for a boyfriend who reads. I just want someone who is passionate about something. It doesn’t necessarily have to be reading. Both times I have been in love. They weren’t readers. Because I don’t get along with people who read. I’m not an avid reader like Jack Edwards. I have…
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Note.
I cannot relate to people who say they don’t remember the books they read. I don’t just read. I dissect it, make it my entire personality and reside in the fandom. My favourite books stay with me forever.
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People in my past don’t have the audacity to talk to me. That’s why they are not reaching out. They clearly understand and know what they did to me. They don’t have the ability to put their ego aside and apologise. They don’t have the ability to face me. Draco, Rashmi, Neethu, Nikita Metha etc.…
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I want Pavithra MC at Ministry to get her karma. She tortured me a lot. Even Justin Joshua at Askaban. I want justice for what happened to me at Askaban and Ministry. I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me.
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Note.
I want justice for what Varsha Vinod did to me. I want prathiksha to face charges for hugging me without my consent and squeezing me without my consent when I was having a panic attack and torturing me. I clearly said that I want to be alone. But she did these things without my consent.…
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The truth is already out long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. I’m not going to repeat the same things everyday forever and ever. And a hundred times more till you are satisfied. Please put an end to this. Please stop wasting my precious time. I’m not interested. I really need…
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P.S.
Have you ever given it a thought that for ants we are the dinosaurs inhabiting the planet and squishing them to death. No fr.
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Note.
After everything that we went through together. I can’t believe people thought that I’m so cheap to do the things that Pettigrew falsely accused me of. I can never forget what happened. A random stranger lied. And this is what you do man? I might not be rich and perfect. But I’m way too classy…
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Note.
I was mostly in bed today, cuddled up in my comforter listening to Under the tree by Ed Sheeran. I cried half the time thinking about what I will say to Ginny when I meet her. I honestly don’t know how to say or what to say or even where to begin. I just cry…
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I’ve already proved that she’s a liar. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. I’ve already exposed all the liars. The truth is already in front of the world. I cannot keep repeating the same things everyday till you are satisfied. Please stop wasting my precious time.
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Note.
Also, The song hukum was for Voldemort and the death eaters. I was fighting against them. I had finished writing in August 2024 and everything worked out for me. Pettigrew was just a random ass side character. She said sorry, so I was keeping quiet to help her. She had just gotten a promotion. I…
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Note.
The liars are already in front of the world. I don’t understand why people are still sitting on shit. I’m not interested in repeating the same things a million times more till you are satisfied. The truth is already out long ago. Please put an end to this. Stop wasting my precious time. I’m not…
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Note.
I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. The whole fucking world knows that I’m innocent. I’ve given irrefutable solid proofs. Please put an end to this shit. I’m not interested in repeating the same things everyday forever and ever.
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Why am I still being taunted? Also, If I was really a villain and playing games. I wouldn’t post a fucking Instagram picture saying I’m playing games and announce it to the world. I would have done it silently. Common sense man. The song hukum is in the…
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Note.
The ache in my heart never seems to end. I’ve learnt to live with it. The agony of being in love. Sigh.
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Note.
It’s always the random ass side characters who cause the most drama and trauma. They are fucking insecure and have one sided beef with you. You honestly don’t even see it coming. Eg. Pettigrew, varasha vinod, Dudley etc. God. Crazy.
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Note.
The world only worships, idealizes and glorifies dead people. The world worships Jesus because he is dead. It’s convenient that way. If he was alive today. They would crucify him and scrutinize him and ask for proof. They would doubt his intentions. Just like what the world has been doing to me. I don’t understand…
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Note.
Just so you know. I liked Dhruv as my friend. But he wasn’t a good friend to me. He just wanted the highs but was never there for the lows. He was lusting on me since day one like a vulture. He kept making everything sexual. He used to keep looking at my body with…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. What exactly am I waiting for?
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Note.
I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me. Starting from prison school up until unethical monsters at kauvery hospital. I have spoken about every single thing. I want justice.
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Note.
I don’t think anyone in the history of the world had to prove themselves so much. I have left absolutely no room for misunderstandings and doubts. In case someone tries to lie about me tomorrow or tries to turn the table. You can clearly understand the truth. Next time in case something happens. I expect…
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Note.
I don’t think anyone should face charges for saying things based on misunderstandings and preconceived notions. Also based on inability to comprehend and lack of knowledge and understanding. I don’t know what exactly happened and the complete information and seriousness of the situation. Unless and until you tell me what’s happening I would not know…
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I’ve already cleared my part. The truth is already out in front of the world. I’ve already exposed the liars. You need to ask people why they did what they did and take actions accordingly.
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Note.
I’ve given irrefutable solid proofs. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence and sanity. The case is closed.
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Note.
I’ve already cleared why I used the song hukum and my intention behind it. I’ve already cleared the analogy of chess as well. I’ve already cleared that just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I will like every single Tom, Dick and Harry. I’ve already cleared that I’m bisexual only 5% of the time and it’s…
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Note.
Please stop taunting me. I’m not interested in speaking about this anymore. I’m not going to repeat it again and again and again forever till you are satisfied. Understand when things have reached its due course and put an end to it.
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Note.
The truth is already out long long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. I’ve repeated everything a million times. I’m not interested in repeating it again a hundred times more till you are satisfied. I’m not interested. According to me it’s over and done. The case is closed. Please move on…
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Note.
I’ve already given solid proof that I was not horny in 2023 and 2024. I’ve already cleared that I was not interested in feeling horny because I was focused on telling my side of the story. I’ve already proved that if I want it, it’s easy and effortless. I’ve already proved that I’m extremely picky…
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Note.
I like how Ginny thinks and behaves. I love how smart she is. She has strong values and she stands up for it. She is so empathetic. Her eyes and expression soften whenever I speak about something hurtful. I love the way she speaks. And her questions. Man her questions. Don’t even get me started.…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Do you want to explain to me why I’m waiting this way? Why am I being taunted unnecessarily? I’ve already spoken about everything and repeated a million times. I’ve cleared every single miniscule thing. More than enough and necessary. I’m not interested in repeating the same things forever…
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Note.
I know I keep repeating the same things. I’m sorry. The trauma was beyond intense. Sometimes I spiral. I need some time.
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Note.
I’m so grateful for the community that I have built. I wouldn’t have reached here without your help and constant support. Thank you for helping me. It means so much to me. I cannot express in words how grateful and blessed I am that you are here. I love you all so much. x
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Note.
I know for sure that Taylor Swift is a good friend. Even if I don’t know her personally. Because she stood by me last year when the whole world was against me. I was with her during her reputation era too. After everything that we went through together, a random stranger lied. And I saw…
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Note.
To quote my therapist. “People have a leverage right now. But they don’t have to use it.” If you are a friend. Behave like one.
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Note.
If you consider me as a friend. Behave like one. Don’t ask me questions when you already know the answers. I don’t appreciate the acting. I’m not interested in playing pretend. I have already spoken about it and I have been extremely clear about it. Also, Who I want to be friends with is my…
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Note.
After I became successful. People have been forcing a non existent friendship with me. As someone rightly said, never eat with people you wouldn’t starve with. I had a casual friend meghana. She was my tuition friend and neighbour. We met a few times because she was my neighbour. She helped me with my Ministry…
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Brain Dump 3.
Leo Woodall is one of the celebrities I can never meet in real life. I can never look at him and speak at the same time. Gosh. He looks exactly like Ginny. I’m mentally preparing myself to meet Ginny. I will definitely faint when I see her again. For sure. How will we ever get…
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Brain Dump 2.
Also, Leo Woodall is so insanely hot. Omg. I can’t. I cried multiple times while watching One Day. I felt my heart was going to explode. It was hurting so much. I really felt that I was going to die when I watched the ending. I cried so badly. God. Leo reminds me of Ginny.…
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Brain dump.
I wish I was half as cool as Tate McRae. She is hands down amazing. I love how african americans speak. I absolutely love their accent. The way they say “girl”. Omg so fucking cute. Growing up I had a huge platonic crush on Billie Joe Armstrong from Greenday. I had a picture of him…
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Note.
I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. The whole entire world knows that I’m innocent. I’m not interested in repeating the same things everyday forever and ever. The truth is already out long long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. Please put an end to this. I’m fucking sick…
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Note.
There’s rashes on both my hands and I’m urinating erratically on some days. I’m sick. I’ve been sick for the last 5 months. I really need to see a doctor. I need to take my parents to the doctor. The truth is already out long ago. What’s going on man? Why am I waiting this…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. Why am I still being taunted? What the fuck am I waiting for?
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Note.
I think I’m not attracted to women IRL because I’m demisexual. Or maybe it’s because I’m on medication and my prolactin level is higher than normal since a decade. I started taking medicines 15 years ago I think. I have not been attracted to anyone even before medication. I was not attracted to men as…
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Note.
Tbh, I have nothing against Chinthu. He is a nice guy. He’s kind, caring, friendly and really hot. We were just casual friends so I didn’t fight for it after he said bye. Also, he showed ego and hurt me. So I hurt him back. I didn’t mean what I said at all. I don’t…
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Note.
No one knows most of what I have written here. My entire life, I was constantly silenced by people and no one asked me what happened or my side of the story. If people were so interested in my personal life they could have just asked me. I had to fight death to say it.…
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Note.
Initially when whatever was happening, I tried telling my friends. But I was constantly silenced. They would ask me to stop talking and call me negative. No one listened. When someone is crying it’s basic understanding to ask them “what happened? why are you crying?” But whenever I was crying in the past people would…
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Note.
I posted the song “Fight Song by Rachel Platten” on my Instagram in December 2022. When Nikita Metha and my therapist told me why people are speaking to me in a special way and everything clicked. I posted the lyrics. I’ve been fighting relentlessly for the last 3 years to tell my side of the…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for?
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. Can someone please explain to me why I’m being taunted even now? What exactly am I waiting for?
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Note.
I have been continuously fighting relentlessly since I started writing here. I just wanted to tell my side of the story. I just wanted to say it. I had to fight death to say it. Now I’ve said it.
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Note.
In august 2024. When I finally finished writing and everything worked out for me and Ginny was going to come back. That’s when Pettigrew betrayed me. The world ganged up and tortured me without mercy and tried killing me. A lot of people were desperate to silence me. They tried their best to silence me.…
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Note.
In 2023 and 2024. I was extremely suicidal and going through something very serious and my throat was completely fucked. Everyone in the world knew about it. It wasn’t a secret. That’s when the monsters like, Rahuul Rishav, Dhruv, Pettigrew and monster at social, Anna. Was lusting at me and sexually assaulting me and torturing…
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Note.
When I was fighting for Ginny in 2023 and 2024. The whole world was rolling their eyes and calling me crazy and asking me to move on. People were constantly asking me to settle for less than what I deserve. They were asking me to settle for losers. When the loser on top of my…
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Note.
In 2022. My manager asked me to go to the annual day. I didn’t want to go. I wasn’t interested. So I said, “I’m sorry no. I don’t have any friends in the office.” __ I was not complaining. I was just stating that I’m not going to come. I don’t go to the office…
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Note.
In mid of 2022. I had a really bad fight with father. He was torturing me brutally. So I ran to my sister’s house. I was fucked up. I went there and started to cry in front of them because I couldn’t handle it. Brother in law started dumping unsolicited advices on me. Instead of…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for? What’s going on?
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Note.
Before pointing your finger at me please check if your own plates are clean. Don’t start shit. Live and let live.
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Note.
In case someone hurts me tomorrow based on the same pattern. It is not a misunderstanding. And I don’t think it would be forgiven as well. Forgiveness is overrated and subjective.
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Note.
My whole life people were acting out of misunderstandings and preconceived notions. Hence I’ve let it go. It’s water under the bridge. The trauma is still there because whatever I went through was real and legit. The intensity of the trauma has reduced but I need time to forget things. I have cleared, explained, clarified…
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Note.
I’ve been extremely clear about every single thing. Before making me as your nemesis. Please understand whom you are dealing with. Later don’t tell me that I didn’t warn you.
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Note.
I don’t have certain human emotions. If you fuck with me you are signing up for your own destruction. You cannot destroy a person with God’s presence. I always rise above the drama and shit. With me the truth will always come out. Please check my track record. Please maintain the peace and harmony. Please…
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Note.
If you don’t like me. Please block or ghost me. I would really appreciate that. I don’t consider people as my enemy when they don’t want to be my friend. Until and unless someone does me dirty, it’s not betrayal. Please don’t play twisted stupid games. Please don’t start shit. Please maintain the peace and…
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Note.
Please don’t ask me questions when you already know the answers. If you are a friend. Behave like one. I don’t appreciate the acting. I’m not interested in playing pretend. If my community really considers me as a friend. They will understand the fact that it’s not humanly possible for me to be friends with…
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Note.
Another thing with Chinthu is that. He has a habit of leaving before he gets left. This stems from his past experiences. So if in case he was really enquiring. When I confronted him. He doesn’t have the ability to work through the conflict or take accountability. Hence he pushed me away to protect his…
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Note.
Chinthu and I have been my friends since 2022. I’ve already spoken about him previously. I spoke to chinthu 2 days ago. He intentionally started asking me gaslighting questions while texting. When I confronted him he said that, he was just enquiring and he doesn’t know what’s going on with me and if I’m going…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. I’m not interested in repeating the same things everyday forever and ever. What the fuck is going on? Why am I still being taunted? What the fuck am I waiting for?
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. What exactly am I waiting for? I’m sick and so are my parents. We really need to see a doctor. What’s going on?
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Note.
I forgot to mention, mom and I haven’t fought in a really long time. It’s because we both are sick and we don’t have money that we had a conflict. These things are normal under such circumstances. Our family is doing good otherwise. We love and respect each other. Conflicts are always going to be…
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Note.
As long as I exist in this reality and double life shit will continue forever and ever. Most people are creepy fans and they have a leverage. Half the population are jokers in a white cardigan. It’s all fun and games for them. Some of them smile a creepy twisted malicious smile when they see…
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Note.
I learnt how to speak because of doing youtube for 3 years. I got that fluency. But since the last one year I haven’t been speaking at all. I stopped the youtube thing as well. Now I’m back to square one. I lost that touch. I spoke to my therapist just now. I was struggling…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I’m not interested in repeating the same things everyday. Please put an end to this. Thank you. What exactly am I waiting for?
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Note.
I’m going mad after seeing Ginny’s Instagram profile picture. My heart is beating wildly. I’m physically unwell. I just can’t. She’s so fucking beautiful. I can’t. I miss her so much. I can literally feel my blood rushing inside me. My hands and legs are going numb. I cannot handle this distance. I miss her.…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. What exactly am I waiting for? I really need to see a doctor. I need to take my parents to the doctor as well. We are sick and suffering. The whole world is benefitting out of me. And this is what is going on with me. What the…
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Note.
I wouldn’t know what’s going on until and unless you tell me. I can’t read minds. Please remember this. __ People are bullshitting in front of the world. Everything is theatrics. They are twisting my words, taking it out of context, exaggerating, lying and manipulating. __ Don’t believe anything you hear about me. Unless I…
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Note.
Please don’t glorify the perpetrators. That’s exactly what they want. They want the attention and glory that comes attached to me. They don’t give a fuck about me. It’s a win win situation for them. Don’t give them what they want. Don’t support them as well. When you support them, you are enabling such behaviour.…
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And also.
“There’s a hero in all of us” “When the devil comes at you, you know you’re doing something right” “I’m always lowkey angry” “I’m never a victim. I’m either a hero or a misunderstood villain.” “If you fuck with me, I’ll definitely be a bitch.”
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Here are a few videos that I like.
“Without the joker what’s the batman” “Be curious not judgemental” “Half the population are jokers in a white cardigan” “Words and ideas can change the world”
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Note.
I want justice for every single slander and lies. every single harassment. every single sexual assault. every single false accusation. the ragging in college. whatever happened in Askaban and the Ministry. whatever the person who was controlling my surroundings and content did to me. I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to…
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Note.
I know I’m repeating myself. I’m sorry. The trauma. God. It’s way too much sometimes. I don’t know how I’m keeping it together. Also, I need to see a doctor, dentist and my ENT doctor. I’m beyond fed up. I need to speak to my therapist. Please put an end to this.
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Note.
A lot of people tried to silence me my whole life. A lot of people. The person who was controlling my surroundings and content was the real demon. There was so much internal manipulations and power clashes as well. People wanted to keep their good name in front of the world at all costs. They…
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Note.
I don’t think anyone in the history of the world had to prove themselves so much. Whatever I went through because I’m bisexual will go down in history for the monstrous barbaric atrocity. I just wanted to tell my side of the story. I just wanted to say it. People could have just let me…
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Note.
When whatever happened with Pettigrew last year. I clearly explained that she’s not my friend. Whatever she has is para social. But people ganged up and started torturing me and gaslighted me brutally without mercy. After everything that we went through together. A random stranger lied and this is what people did. Everything that I…
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Note.
Every single time something happens. People always gang up and start torturing me and silence me. Based on lies and manipulations. It’s like people desperately need something against me to satisfy their demons and desperately want to pull me down. They always glorify the perpetrators and throw it on my face. No one asks me…
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Note.
I’ve said it before saying it again. Some people when they meet you for the first time. They dump their trauma and trash on you and call you best friend. No man. This isn’t friendship. You don’t need a friend. You need a therapist. I said what I said. Friend is a valuable word. It…
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Note.
I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me. Starting from prison school up until unethical monsters at kauvery hospital. I want justice.
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Note.
I’ve cleared every single miniscule thing. I have left absolutely no room for misunderstandings and doubts. If tomorrow someone tries to lie about me or tries to turn tables again. You can clearly understand that it’s a lie. __ In case something happens tomorrow. I expect maturity and basic decency. __ People are bullshitting in…
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Note.
You should fight for a relationship or friendship only when there’s a connection and rapport. Connection meaning both of you are interested and invested in it. Ted Mosby explains it better.
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for?
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Note.
I just wanted to tell my side of the story. I was desperate to finish writing. I had to fight death to say it. God.
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Note.
I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me. Starting from prison school up until unethical monsters at kauvery hospital. I want justice. No matter how much I shout it’s of no use. Because I was treated like an animal even recently in the emergency room when I was suffering. People have…
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Note.
I’ve written 4 thousand blogs. I’ve used so many fucking analogies. But people are sticking to the word chess. I don’t even understand why. Also, people are not even reading the blog properly. They don’t read properly and lack comprehension and just go berserk like cavemen. I’m not playing chess. The devil is playing chess.…
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Note.
I don’t know why women blame men all the time. Because women are equally capable of being a monster. The way women have been behaving my whole life, even before I came out and after I came out, is horrendous. I don’t feel safe even with women. Not just men. I’ve already spoken about everything…
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Note.
I humbly request vulgar aunties, behenjis and uncles to stop staring at my cleavage and body whenever I step out. This has been going on for many many years. Minimum 5 people ogle at me every single time I go out. Minimum 5. Minimum one person always turns their head 180 degrees to look at…
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You need to calm down.
I don’t like every single Tom, Dick and Harry. I’ve been extremely clear about my bisexuality. I humbly request women to stop behaving questionable with me. Please don’t try to lure me. Please don’t make a move on me. Please don’t sexually assault me. Please don’t force me to go to your house. Please don’t…
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You need to calm down!
We all got crowns. Can you just not step on our gown? You need to calm down!!
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Louder for the ones at the back please.
Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I will like every single Tom, Dick and Harry. If I want it, it’s easy and effortless. I just have to pick my favorite. I humbly request vulgar aunties, behenjis and uncles who are beneath my standards to stop jumping. Before you jump please look at a mirror and…
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Stay the fuck away from me.
Please don’t show the fucking audacity to text me and use words like “good friend” and try to rekindle. I don’t have amnesia and I’m not Jesus Christ to forgive endlessly.
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Note.
Now do you understand why I was listening to the Fight Song by Rachel Platten all these years? “Do you believe me now?” – Cassandra
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Note.
For all we know our universe might be existing inside a tiny speck. We might even be exiled on this planet that’s why there’s so much unending suffering. There’s literally so many hypothetical theories. We can go on and on about it forever on end. But there’s no definite answers. Because some things are forever…
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Note.
Before doing something unethical and shady. Please think about the consequences and think about things from a bigger picture. Please use your brain that God has blessed you with. Your mind can work beautifully if you know how to. Don’t waste your precious life. YOLO.
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Note.
We don’t have to trust each other. We don’t have to like each other. We don’t have to even agree with each other and see eye to eye. We don’t have to be each other’s best friends. No. We don’t. __ But we can have basic platonic love and respect and basic decency towards each…
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Note.
An author who deserves more hype than she gets. Jessa Hastings. Her books are like crack. So fucking addictive and destroys you in the best way possible and keeps you coming back for more. Bookstagrammer who deserves more hype than she gets. Daphsreads and Hannah Azerang. I absolutely love their book reviews. It’s so fucking…
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Also.
A song I was crying to the entire 2023 and starting of 2024. Because my throat was fucked and I was going to die and I was regretting not going to Ginny’s house.
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Note.
My throat was finally fixed after suffering for one year. After whatever happened last year. Sometimes I don’t feel good in my throat. I feel suffocated sometimes. I cannot eat certain food. Sometimes it feels really weird. It passes after half an hour or so. But yeah. The damage is done. I need to see…
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Note.
If rashmi, rohit, draco and neethu want to be friends again. They can reach out. I don’t have their number. So they have to reach out. I think about them sometimes. There’s literally no way for me to talk to them. So I’m putting it here.
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Note.
What exactly am I waiting for? The truth is already out long ago. Why am I still being taunted? What’s going on?
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Note.
Also, Just to be clear. Everyone always gets attracted to me. Everyone always has a lowkey crush on me. Everyone always likes me. I have that thing about me. I’m not interested in anyone. I’ve been extremely clear about whom I like. Voldemort knew that I was really good. She was burning with jealousy. That’s…
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Note.
Everyone is a little gay. Most women if not all are bisexual. They are lying if they say otherwise. Bisexuality might be lesser in men. But women are definitely bisexual. If they have been aroused by a woman even if it is only online, it makes them bisexual whether they like it or not. Everyone…
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Note.
I’ve already said everything and repeated it. Millions of times. I’ve already proved the truth as well. More than enough and necessary. I’m not interested in speaking about it anymore. So I’m not gonna. Do what you may. According to me this case is closed. I’ve already proved my innocence. I’ve proved myself more than…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Everything is already said and done. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. The liars are already exposed. I’m not interested in repeating the same things everyday forever and ever. How much will you drag this? What’s going on? You didn’t drag things when you wanted…
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Note.
Omg. She is so fucking hot. I’m sure everyone who knows her has a lowkey crush on her. I keep stalking her from dad’s account. I miss her so much. Also, I’m sick. I’m just a lump under this blanket. And she’s actually interested in me? How did I get so lucky? Aaaaah. I’m going…
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Note.
After seeing her Instagram picture my heart has grown three times its size and it’s beating so hard. Feelings are overflowing inside me like waves in the ocean and bursting out through my pores. I’m unable to contain my feelings inside me. I love her so much. I want to shout from the mountain tops…
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Note.
When we were in college. Voldemort used to tell me whenever she has conflicts with friends she says sorry even when it’s not her fault. That’s how I got that habit. When whatever happened with Voldemort. I kept saying sorry to end the conflict. Even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I still have the…
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Note.
My throat was finally fixed after one long year of suffering. But because of what happened last year because of Pettigrew. My throat feels weird at times. Sometimes in the night and whenever I eat certain things. It passes after an hour or so. But it feels weird at times. I really need to see…
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Note.
The one time that I went out in the middle of this year was also chaos. I asked my sister in law for money. I was literally losing my mind. When I had my lunch before stepping out. I choked on the spicy dish. My throat got fucked. And well. My throat was fucked the…
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Note.
I’ve been on the verge of dying the majority of my life. Hence I don’t back down when things go round. I’m good at surviving catastrophe and chaos. I face it head on. My whole life I didn’t understand what’s happening. It was just chaos. The last one year had so much clarity because everyone…
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Note.
Ginny was always so sweet. She knew I was scared to travel alone at night. So she always dropped me home. I miss her so much. I miss looking at her when she drives. She didn’t know it though. But I kept looking at her. That was the only time we were alone. Otherwise we…
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Note.
Whenever I’m meeting someone, I tend to go there one hour early. So yeah. Ginny wasn’t late. I was very early. Also, we were bad at coordinating time to meet because we lived in two ends of the city. Plus the traffic. It’s always a hassle whenever I go out. Because I live on the…
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Note.
I’ve had so many near death experiences. I was on the verge of dying literally most of my life. I have no idea how I’m still alive and how I became normal now. Hallelujah.
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Note.
In 2024. I was in the auto on my way back home from indiranagar. The driver took a wrong turn and he went to some random unknown place. I was in my own world so I didn’t realise it. It was late in the evening. When he kept riding deeper in the unknown place, I…
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Note.
When I met Ginny after her birthday, I had abruptly stopped my medicine. She came a few hours late. Actually I was very early. She came one hour late. That’s fine with me because I had my kindle. Anyway. I was blacking out on and off that day. I could hardly hold on. I kept…
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Note.
I’ve left no room for misunderstandings and doubts. I’ve cleared every single miniscule preconceived notion and slander. I’ve repeated my boundaries a million times and I’ve been extremely clear about it. If there’s any kinda shady unethical behaviour from anyone ever again. I’m going to be extremely vocal about it. Next time in case someone…
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Note.
I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. I’ve cleared every single miniscule thing. More than enough and more than required. I have left no room for misunderstandings and doubts. I don’t want to participate in this anymore. Thank you.
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Note.
I’ve already exposed the liars. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. The truth is already out long ago. Please stop torturing me unnecessarily and wasting everyone’s time, efforts and energy. And hurting me for no reason. I’m already suffering and extremely sick. I really need to see a doctor. Please put an…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. What’s going on? If this is how the law works. It honestly sucks. So does psychiatry and therapy and everything else. People really need to rethink on a lot of things.
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Note.
After everything that we went through together. A random stranger lied and this is what people did. All it took was a random stranger to lie and everything that I built for 2 years with blood sweat and tears was thrown away in a second. __ Now that the truth is out and the real…
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Note.
What exactly am I waiting for? Why am I being taunted unnecessarily? When people wanted me dead and tortured me based on lies and manipulation, you didn’t drag shit. I kept screaming I’m not attracted to women IRL. Please ask me what happened. But everyone was jumping right? The truth is already out long ago…
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Note.
I really need to see a doctor. I’ve been sick for the last 5 months. Please tell me what’s going on? I don’t think I can hold on much longer. I don’t feel very good.
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Note.
As long as I exist in this reality and double life shit will continue forever and ever. Most people are creepy fans and they suck. Half the population are jokers in a white cardigan. They are burning behind their facade. And they have a leverage. I’m helpless right now. I’ve already cleared, proved, clarified and…
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Note.
I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me. Starting from prison school up until unethical monsters at kauvery hospital. I want justice. I’m setting an example to the world. I want people to clearly understand that they cannot cross my boundaries and space. I want people to clearly understand that they…
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Note.
I haven’t forgotten anything that anyone did or said. Please don’t show the fucking audacity to text me and use words like “good friend” and “close friend”. I don’t have amnesia and I’m not Jesus Christ to forgive everyone. Stay the fuck away from me.
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Note.
Please fact check everything that I have said. I’m speaking the truth. If you want to know something. You have to ask. I’m not sure what exactly you want to know.
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Note.
I haven’t spoken about any personal information about Ginny, Will and others who were good to me. I don’t speak about my personal life to anyone. I’m a private person. I don’t think the specifics are required. Whatever I have written here is the truth. I have spoken about everything that is important and crucial…
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Note.
You can ask Dumbledore and mom what was going on with my medicines in 2022 when I was dating Ginny. Fact check everything that I’ve said. I was also constantly screaming at mom asking her what really happened in the past and was trying to find answers. It was a really difficult time.
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Note.
I tried being friends, we were not friends. There’s a difference. Also, she wasn’t interested in being friends. She just wanted to fuck me. Whatever she was feeling is para social since day one. I’ve already spoken about it multiple times.
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Note.
I’ve had an extremely social life. I’ve spoken to countless people in my life. I’ve made plans with people numerous times. There have been so many casual people in my life. So fucking many. But very few friends. I don’t use the word friend loosely. __ My definition of friendship differs from Pettigrew’s definition of…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything and repeated it a million times. I cannot keep speaking about the same things forever. I’m done. __ I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. Please put an end to this.
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Note.
Since I tried being friends briefly after she gave me something to eat. And asked Pettigrew to join me 2-3 times when I was stepping out. That’s why she is using the word friend. __ But this doesn’t qualify as friendship for me. I’ve already given you my definition of the word friend. I don’t…
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Note.
You should have self respect and self love but you should not have an ego. When you love someone you should not show ego. If you show ego that’s not love. But your self respect and self love should be stronger than your feelings.
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Note.
People always try to find faults with me because I’m different and I’m in the public eye. They don’t really stop and introspect on their behaviour and faults. Before pointing your finger at me please check if your own plates are clean. Stop being a fucking hypocrite. This is what was going on till now.…
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Note.
My feelings are so back. Warmth is swishing everywhere inside me. It’s oozing out from my heart and I’m filled with it. I’m going mad. I miss her so much.
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Note.
Whenever I’m with Ginny, I start feeling dizzy with butterflies. When she holds me or does anything of those sorts, I can’t focus on anything. I had way too much feelings. That’s why I didn’t pay attention to the bill. I can’t focus when I’m with her. I forget everything and everyone. I forget how…
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Note.
I was suffering and going to die because of my throat for one year. After one year, I met Doctor Mahesh Meda who saved my life. Just because he helped me, I would never ask him to come to my house. That’s a psychotic reaction to help. I’m not a lonely sex addict. __ Pettigrew…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. What exactly am I waiting for?
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Note.
Just because I was regular to the restaurant, it is not an invitation for the staff to encroach on my space and boundaries. She cannot approach me because I’m a familiar face, this is not a college party. When someone is saying no, you are supposed to stay away. She was not taking no for…
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Note.
As long as I exist in this reality and double life shit will continue forever and ever. I’m not the fucking problem. Most people are creepy fans and they suck. Half the population are jokers in a white cardigan. They are burning behind their facade. And they have a leverage. I’m helpless right now. I’ve…
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Note.
Whenever something happens, I always speak the truth on day one itself. Always. No one asks me what happened or my side of the story. People always gang up and start torturing me and silence me. __ Do you believe me now?
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Note.
I didn’t understand why I was being sexually assaulted last year. I kept repeating I’m not interested in women in real life. Please ask me what happened. I kept repeating that Pettigrew is not my friend. You can read my blogs again. __ Do you believe me now?
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Note.
The only thing I did was ask her to take my picture. She immediately called me “really hot”. She followed me to my place and dumped her trauma and trash on me. This is para social. __ She was lusting, forcing and projecting and seeing everything in that light. __ Para social. So scary man.
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Note.
I had uploaded a friendship bracelet with “take me home” for Ginny on my Instagram. That’s why she was constantly asking me to go to her house since day 2. This is para social.
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Note.
The only thing I did was ask her to take my picture. She stuck to me like a parasite and a leech. She was constantly forcing the friendship since day one. I was constantly pushing her. When she gave me something to eat forcefully. I returned the favour and tried being friends for a brief…
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Note.
People are forgetting that this song is in the POV of the hero. The villain is playing games and he is fighting to stop him. I was thinking about Voldemort and the death eaters when I uploaded this song on my Instagram. Pettigrew was just a random ass side character in my story. I didn’t…
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Note.
I learnt the meaning of the word patriarchy after watching barbie. I watched it with Dhruv. He explained it to me.
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Note.
When I was dating Ginny. Dumbledore was switching my medicines because my prolactin was higher than normal. Also, I abruptly tried to stop my medicine as well. These things were happening in the background. __ When we met after her birthday, I kept blacking out because I abruptly stopped my medicine. I didn’t want to…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. I’ve already proved my innocence and cleared my name. Does anyone want to explain why I’m being taunted unnecessarily even now? Why are you wasting my time? When people wanted me dead and tortured me based on lies everything happened so damn quickly. At that time no one…
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Note.
This is Dobby. Pettigrew is not even fit to wash his feet. Please stop disgracing his name. Whatever Pettigrew has is called para social relationship. Nothing else. I love Dobby. I wish I had someone like him in my life. __ END OF DISCUSSION. Thank you. I’m not interested in wasting anymore of my precious…
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Note.
I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence more than enough. I cannot do anything more than this. Taunting me now is pointless. __ I learned the meaning of the word “ego” in 2020 because of Nikita Metha. She taught me a lot of things. I learnt the meaning of the word betrayal in…
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Note.
I don’t know if Dhruv betrayed me. Unless you tell me what’s happening, I would not know. If he betrayed me. I want him to face charges for what he did. If he was just stating misunderstandings. Let him be.
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Note.
I’m kinda a little bit like my mom and dad. __ Mom is selfless, she doesn’t have an ego, she loves unconditionally, she keeps making jokes, she has a lot of ideas and she’s strong. Dad enjoys solitude, he always minds his own business, he’s also strong, he always makes jokes and he is hard…
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Note.
After whatever I faced in life, I want to get this message across to the world. Don’t support a woman just because she is a woman. Don’t support people from the weaker sections of the society just because they are weak. Don’t support a disabled person just because that person is disabled. Don’t support old…
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The porn that was watched on my phone when I was with psycho divorcee and Bellatrix was watched by them. They watched it on my phone. I didn’t.
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I don’t feel good. I need to see a doctor soon. I cannot hold on much longer. What exactly am I waiting for?
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I keep thinking about Ginny. I don’t feel very good. My heart aches so much. I cry every day. I miss her so much. I’m extremely sick as well. I need to see a doctor. I feel physically unwell. The heart ache and the sickness. Sometimes I get slightly turned on randomly thinking about her.…
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If Draco wants to reach out. She can. I have not blocked her anywhere. After whatever happened with Pettigrew, I think about her sometimes. I think our friendship is severed. But we can start over if she wants it too. I don’t know. I would be able to do justice to the friendship if we…
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Will and I have had conflicts too. I was a mess sometimes. Because I was crazy. So yeah. But he has always been there nevertheless. I feel safe with him. I’m able to do justice to the friendship now because I’m normal.
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My therapist kruti has helped me more than what her job description requires her to do and I can never ever forget that. I’ll always be grateful for her. She came into my life like she was God sent. She went above and beyond and she has been a rock and pillar in my life…
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Will is not my ex. We didn’t date or meet for a very long time. We were best friends who were in love with each other. He moved on years ago. After he got married, I cried for a long time. I moved on a couple of months before I met Ginny. When we met…
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Please don’t develop a para social relationship with me. Please don’t encroach on my personal space and boundaries. My boundaries are non-negotiable. If there’s any kinda shady unethical behaviour from anyone, I’m going to be extremely vocal about it. If you encroach on my personal space and boundaries that makes you a creepy fan. If…
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I had already done the work in 2022. I was at my prime. But the world kept pushing me down again and again and again. So I had to teach the work that I had done to the world. Along with clearing all the immense bullshit and misunderstandings. And breaking the vicious cycle that Voldemort…
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Voldemort is not an ultimate evil archetype. She was a regular angsty 20 year old who made all the wrong choices. She had regular human emotions like jealousy. Literally anyone is capable of doing what she did.
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I’m not a fucking victim. Never. I’m fucking Khaleesi the mother of dragons. You can be rest assured that I will never start shit. But if you start it, I will thrash you. Ethically. Before fucking with me please understand whom you are fucking with. Please check my track record. Don’t awaken the khaleesi in…
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I decided to take up therapy in 2020 which changed my life. I decided to change the narrative of my life in 2022 which changed me for good. I learnt the meaning of the word betrayal in 2022 because of taylor swift. When Nikita Metha told me why people are speaking to me in a…
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Humans have a lesser tolerance for pain. Their threshold for pain is really low. I’ve noticed a pattern. My threshold for pain is really high. This is what makes me different. I know how to heal myself. Also, when I love someone I love them unconditionally. __ This is where things went wrong with Voldemort.…
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Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for? I’ve been sick for the last 4 months. My parents are also sick. We need to see a fucking doctor. My family is suffering without money. The truth is already out long ago. I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence. The…
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Whenever something happens, no one asks me what happened or my side of the story. People always gang up and start torturing me and silence me. I had to fight death to tell my side of the story. __ The person who was controlling my surroundings and content is the real demon. So many people…
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My parents were continuously torturing me without mercy at home. Everyone knew about it. I didn’t want to sit at home. That’s why I was constantly going out. I was extremely fucked and suicidal and my throat was fucked. I was on the verge of dying most of the time. I just wanted to be…
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In 2023, I went to blossoms and bought a bag full of books. It was hot and the bag was heavy. I was suicidal and fucked. I didn’t know where the bus stop was back then. I asked someone and he intentionally gave me the wrong directions. I walked in the wrong direction. After sometime…
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On my birthday in 2023, I didn’t want to be alone. My parents were continuously torturing me. I was talking to a guy from the dating app. I said to him I just want to be friends and we met. I was extremely heartbroken and suicidal. I wore my new dress and I was planning…
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I don’t know if I’ve said this. I was going to die in 2022. I was drinking something and walking on the road and I choked. I almost died but I immediately swallowed. So I didn’t. In the beginning of 2023. I was extremely heartbroken and suicidal. Ginny said she doesn’t love me. My life…
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I want to hug Ginny so badly. My heart keeps aching. I keep thinking about her and get slightly turned on randomly. Slightly because I’m not taking that additional medicine. I miss her so much. I’m physically unwell. I’m not okay. I don’t really feel good. Also, I’m sick. I’m not okay. I’m just a…
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I want to take an x-ray of my brain and see what’s happening inside. I don’t know how I became normal. Also, I’ve been sick for the last 4 months. I need to see a doctor really bad. I’m struggling. I need to take my parents to the hospital as well. I’m so fed up.…
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I don’t know how I survived whatever happened, tbh. I don’t know how I became normal. This is beyond me. My therapist kruti, Ginny, Doctor Mahesh Meda, Taylor Swift and Dumbledore helped me immensely. Also, God. Also, random people here and there. I just wanted to finish writing. That was my only goal. I was…
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I don’t know if I spoke to 250 men. That’s just a random number. But I spoke to so many fucking men since 2019. It feels like 250. I haven’t counted. But it was a lot. A lot. God.
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I didn’t know the world knew me. I kinda embarrassed myself in front of the world. I was so cringe. Aah. I had no time to process the embarrassment as well. There was honestly no time. It was a question of life and death. My only goal was to finish writing.
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In retrospect, I think Dhruv was in love with me. I’m not sure though. I was so lost in my head thinking about Ginny. I was also extremely suicidal. I wasn’t paying much attention. I shouldn’t have said I love you to him. I have a habit of saying it to all my friends. All…
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I have a habit of leaving people in whatever delusion they are in. I tend to silently remove myself from situations, conversations and people. I take a step back and move on with my life. I’m okay with being misunderstood. __ I didn’t know about all these preconceived notions and slander that was spread about…
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God bless Nikita Metha and my therapist rahul whom I spoke to 3 years ago. I was struggling my entire life. I was on the verge of dying my whole life. I just couldn’t understand why people were speaking to me in a special way. I just couldn’t understand. I kept asking Dumbledore again and…
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Men tend to like me because I focus on being their friend. I’m a bro like Robin Scherbatsky. I cut the drama. They tend to always have a lowkey crush on me. I think this is the reason. I’m not sure, tbh. But this is how I see myself.
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According to me, Marriage is not the end goal of life. I’m okay without it. I want to marry Ginny. I know she’s the one and there’s no one else for me. If she wants to get married too, then yes. If she doesn’t want to, I’m okay without it. I’m okay with whatever she…
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I don’t get into a relationship easily. I take time to trust and feel ready. I go with the flow. I try to build the connection and trust. __ Most of the men that I rejected. I said no after the first meeting itself. Or the first call/video call. __ I’ve already spoken about it.…
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Psycho divorcee is the only person I had sex with. I regret it so much. So much. I regret it to this day. Because having sex is a huge deal for me. I don’t feel like doing it unless I’m in love. I made a lot of mistakes initially when I started dating. I learnt…
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My close circle is sacred and a temple. I trust people in my close circle with my life. Because I know for a fact I can. I feel safe with them. __
rachana rajan <3 