Category: Uncategorized
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Note.
Do I find Sydney Sweeney and Zendaya hot? Yes. Do I think Pettigrew looks like a potato and find her extremely repulsive and off putting? Also Yes. Am I attracted to women IRL? No. Am I attracted to every tom dick and harry? No. “shade never made anybody less gay.” – Taylor Swift✨ Please stop…
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Quote of the day.
“You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” – The Dark Knight.
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Note.
Existing this way in this reality and double life is affecting my mental health badly. My mental health is deteriorating. I feel a range of emotions every single day. I want to know what’s going on. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. I want convention, credit…
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Note.
People are using my own words against me. In November, I remember saying I know how to keep it casual. I don’t make any promises. After I said that, people were continuously using the word false promises. __ I remember last year september, I kept saying I can read people’s minds. People were using my…
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Note.
You should never be friends with someone who lusts on you and has feelings for you. They will project their feelings and start seeing everything in that light. Even if you are strictly being platonic, they will start placing sexual meanings to your innocent actions and words. They will fuck up the whole dynamic. That’s…
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Disclaimer.
All the characters in my fanfiction are fictional. Any resemblance to living or dead is purely coincidental. If you are taking personal meaning, I recommend you see Dumbledore. He will give you magic medicine which will stop your delusion. Thank you.
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Even better.
(fanfiction) Khaleesi smiles and glances at Augustus who rolls his eyes. There is a sudden thunder and she looks up, “Thor?” There’s a green hue all around the sky. Loki drops to the ground with a handsome grin. “Hello my grace, what a pleasure it is.” The thunder starts to roar. Khaleesi, “Even better.” Khaleesi,…
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The mud whores.
(fanfiction) Khaleesi and Augustus walk through the glades and reach the edge of a pit. The pit is filthy and muddy. __ There is a 3 headed creature sitting in the pit. One of its heads has a permanent creepy smile plastered on it. The other head is continuously vomiting slugs. The eyes of the…
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Eggs.
(fanfiction) Intro of “Ready for it by Taylor Swift” starts playing in the background. A monster truck drives to the clearing in the forest. Khaleesi jumps down from the truck. Augustus Waters is standing in front of the clearing with his back to Khaleesi. She approaches him, “How are you feeling Gus?” Augustus, “I’m on…
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Note.
I’ve already proved that she’s a liar. I’ve already proved myself more than enough and necessary. Please put an end to this unnecessary torture. I don’t why this is prolonging and what the fuck am I waiting for? What’s going on?
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Note.
People are extremely narrow minded and backward here. You can clearly understand this from every single thing that I went through. People also aren’t expressive. I honestly don’t belong here. I’m too progressive for this place. I don’t know where I belong as well because I haven’t been anywhere else than here.
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Note.
I forgot to tell you. She used to call me home and start moaning. It wasn’t written on her forehead that she is bisexual. At first I didn’t understand what was happening. Once I understood what she was doing, I cut her off.
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Note.
So many people upload so many crazy songs on Instagram. But with me, no it’s not allowed. People were taking the literal meaning of the songs I uploaded. As though I wrote the song. They were taking the literal meaning of every single book quote and every single thing I was doing. There is literally…
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Note.
During that incident with Pettigrew. I looked at her sleeve contextually and immediately looked down. Because I have a habit of looking down and speaking since childhood. I was drinking my coffee and reading. I was looking at my book and coffee and talking. After 20 seconds I looked at her face for 1 second.…
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Note.
At this point, I don’t know why this is being dragged. What the fuck am I waiting for? When people wanted me dead and tortured me everything happened so quickly. The truth is out long long ago. What’s happening? How many times do I need to ask? Can someone answer me?
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Note.
I request everyone to move on from doing the eye thing online. Everything is proved and said more than required. It’s been a year now. Stop making such content online please, I’ve had enough of it. Just move on. I also hate it when in movies/books people give the negative characters characteristics of my past…
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Note.
I’ve still been seeing content online that’s meant to taunt me. Can someone please explain what’s going on? I’ve already proved myself more than enough and necessary. The truth is already out long long ago. What’s happening? What the bloody fuck am I waiting for this way?
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Note.
Sid suddenly showed interest in me because I was dressing hot. Hence it didn’t feel right. .. All the men I casually went out on a date with after Ginny were interested in me because I was hot. It never felt right. .. Milan was chasing me because I was hot. He said he loves…
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Note.
Some of my friends were good. The only reason I lost touch with them was because of gaslighting BS before I proved myself. I’m a good friend. This is the only reason I had problems. Otherwise things were good and we would have been friends even now. Also, For the 100th time, Just because I’m…
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Note.
I think people didn’t know me before. They assumed shit because of all the preconceived notions and slander. Now you know me. Really well. Going forward, I’m hoping things will be dealt better and maturely.
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Note.
Dhruv lacks social experiences too. If someone is deprived of social experiences, it’s not my fucking fault.
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Note.
3 years ago when I was waiting for Ginny at Bier Library, a woman approached me and said, her friends gave her a dare to go around me and check me out. I was wearing a deep neck bralette top and jeans. I said okay because she seemed friendly and it was a dare. She…
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Note.
What the fuck am I waiting for? Why are people ignoring me? What’s going on man? Can someone answer me?
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Note.
I want each and every flying monkey who psychologically and sexually assaulted me last year to face the full consequences of what they did to me. I want every single person who did me wrong to face charges for what happened to me. Including the person responsible for the reels that were created online. I’m…
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Note.
A random stranger lied and everything that I built for 2 years was thrown away in a second. I didn’t even know she lied. I had no clue what was going on the entire August and September. I kept screaming, “please ask me what happened and I’m not attracted to women in real life.” And…
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Note.
The only thing I did was look at Pettigrew’s sleeve for a fraction of a second contextually. I was empathizing with her as a good gesture. I was wearing a deep neck top on that day. She was lusting like a psycho and projecting and seeing everything in that light. And she made it into…
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Note.
I don’t want to live in this house with that man anymore. What the fuck am I waiting for? I know the whole world is reading this, why is everyone staying quiet and watching me suffer? What’s going on?
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Note.
Today morning mother was crying and shouting. She cried and said, I don’t want you to shout again. If you shout, I will hit you. I told her, I’m not the one who is wrong. Both of you behave.
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Note.
Father will be facing forward and sitting in the front and watching TV. Every time I open the bedroom door, his head turns 90 degrees to ogle at me. He keeps looking 90 degrees as long as I’m in the room. He did that yesterday as well and I shouted at him and called out…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for? Why is everyone conveniently ignoring my question? What the fuck is going on?
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Note.
I’ve been going to BLR since I moved to EC. Every time I go there during winter, they wear a signature sweatshirt. I love that so much. Whenever I see them, I point and look at their sweatshirts and say, “that’s so cute” I’ve done that so many times. They always smile at me and…
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Note.
A couple of years ago, I was waiting for my date in the mall and I saw a woman wearing really cool shoes. I love shoes. That’s the only thing I wear mostly. I approached her and told her “I love your shoes” and pointed at it. She smiled and said “thanks”. I asked her…
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Note.
If you are speaking the truth, you should not give up and fight. Because liars will fumble and lie on top of lies. Just don’t give up because they will definitely fumble. And you can unveil their lies. I think I understand now what lawyers do. I’ve already proved myself and the truth. So I…
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Note.
Most of what I said and proved here is obvious and simple abcd. I honestly didn’t think I made any impact. Until I saw it online and realised what was happening. Because most of it was basics and like psychology for dummies. Once I got to know what was going on, it was easy to…
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Note.
I honestly didn’t even know what was happening most of my life. Dumbledore said I was sick. I accepted it and doubted my own sanity for a decade. I kept asking him since day one. “Why are people speaking to me that way?” I was suffering my whole life and with whatever strength I had,…
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Note.
You know that person I told you about. The photographer guy I met on bumble? When I met him, I was wearing my bralette kind of top with a jacket on top. When I went to his house, I started feeling uncomfortable because it was too hot to wear the jacket. I didn’t know what…
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Note.
I’m drawing a boundary. I will not be tolerating being treated like a lab rat anymore. Even by the law. I’ve already proved myself more than enough and necessary long ago. The truth is already out in front of the whole entire world long ago. Every single person knows that I’m innocent. Thank you.
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Note.
Whoever is pulling this shit unnecessarily, please stop. Even you know it’s a waste of everyone’s time. The truth is already out long ago. So please for heaven’s sake stop this shit. Stop treating me like a lab rat and torturing me. It’s absolutely ridiculous, unnecessary and a waste of everyone’s time. I’ve already proved…
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Note.
Firstly, it wasn’t my idea to involve the whole world in my life. Second, I didn’t even know the whole world knew me and was watching/reading my content till I watched Jawaan and after that movie. So you cannot doubt my intentions. Because it wasn’t my fucking idea. I worked super hard to reach where…
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Note.
I got shrekked by the guy with an ugly dick. I lowered my standards and got absolutely traumatized.
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself more than enough and necessary. The truth is already out long long ago. Why is this prolonging? What the fuck are people doing? What’s going on man? Why are you wasting everyone’s time? Is it because the whole world is involved that people are dragging this for drama? When people wanted…
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Note.
No one else can exist in my shoes even for a minute. No one else can handle the inhuman ways the world has treated me my whole life. But I’ve persisted and I’m waiting. Please stop controlling my surroundings and content. Please stop going against the force of nature and playing these stupid mind games.…
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Note.
When people wanted me dead everything happened so quickly. The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck are people doing? What the fuck am I waiting for this way? What the fuck are people doing?
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Note.
I want a fucking normal life. Stop treating me like a fucking lab rat and doing these circus around me. I want convention credit and recognition. What the fuck is going on? What the fuck are people doing man? What the fuck am I waiting for?
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Note.
I want a restraining order against that aggressive stalker. I know he’s stalking me intentionally.
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Note.
Stop treating me like an alien or an animal and playing these stupid mind games. Stop going against the force of nature and controlling my surroundings and content and doing things intentionally. I’m not a fucking lab rat. I don’t want to exist this way anymore. I want convention, credit and recognition. I want a…
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Note.
When I went out for a walk just now. Everyone was wearing green and intentionally walking in front of me. I know this is being done intentionally. I don’t understand what kinda mind game this is or what is the intention behind controlling my surroundings and content. I don’t know why people are playing this…
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Note.
I cannot exist in this invisible double life anymore. I want credit, recognition and convention. What the fuck am I waiting for? When people wanted me dead and tortured me everything happened so quickly, the truth is already out long long ago. What’s going on man? What’s happening?
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Note.
So many things have happened. It’s difficult to understand what’s intentional and what’s not, sometimes. I don’t know why I’m waiting this way as well. It’s just so stressful and I feel extremely anxious.
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Note.
People have done so many things to me. I don’t know what exactly is happening for sure. I see that stalker old man regularly. Can someone please do something about it? I don’t want to see him ever again. If it’s happening intentionally like a lot of things that have happened intentionally. Please stop.
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Note.
I will be treating people based on my personal first hand experience with them. If anyone crosses my boundaries or hurts me for the sake of perpetrators who means absolutely nothing to me. It’s going to sever our relationship forever. Please be aware of this. Every time I see that man I feel extremely suicidal.…
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Note.
I’m not interested in knowing his side of the story as well. Because there was nothing between us. If anyone crosses my boundary and tries to forcefully tell me his side of the story in any form of media. I swear to God, I will stop consuming that media till my last breath.
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Note.
Please stop going against the force of nature and creating fake situations around me and stop creating false scenarios. Stop forcing me to forgive. It’s never ever going to happen. I’d rather die alone and never read a book again in my life and suffer every day for the rest of my life. No is…
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Note.
I don’t think seeing him regularly is a coincidence. It’s definitely not a coincidence. With all the overuse of “aggressively” online. Whoever is responsible for this shit please stop torturing me this way. If he is the one doing it. I request him to respectfully please stop stalking me. My feelings aren’t going to change…
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Note.
I do feel bad about speaking all these things about the old man in my apartment because he is very old. But that’s what he did to me. And seeing him regularly pisses me off further. I know I went overboard with my anger the other day but it’s justified. If there was some distance,…
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Note.
I was always a girl’s girl my whole life. But after everything that I faced in life, which everyone is clearly aware of. I see things neutrally now. I’m still a feminist and I will hold that up always. But when something is wrong, I will say it as it is. Whether the wrong is…
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Note.
After whatever I went through with all the false sexual assault accusations, by pathetic looking aunties who are not even my type. And all the luring and attacking because of rejection. (Even after clearly speaking about my bisexuality.) I feel sorry for men. Hats off to you. Seriously. Also, most/all of those aunties are bisexual…
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Quote of the day.
“There will be no further explanation, there will just be reputation” – Taylor Swift✨
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Note.
I want justice for what happened to me at Askaban and Ministry as well. I’ve spoken about every single miniscule thing. I want justice for everything. Everything!!!
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Author’s Note.
Everyone is always making content out of my content. There is always a wide range of contents, even from the haters. Making content has also become political because literally everyone is reading and there is a varied range of audiences. Also, I speak about a lot of controversial and taboo topics. Tbh, I don’t enjoy…
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Note.
I remember that I said in one of my videos, I don’t like wearing jeans during summer because my body temperature is always hot. Which is something personal. But everyone online was going crazy and wearing jeans in summer. I don’t even understand why. If they don’t have a hot body temperature and they can…
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Note.
I get so angry whenever I see that predator and aggressive stalker old man in my apartment. My anger is normal and justified. Bloody disgusting overgrown creepy fan. Just because he is lonely doesn’t give him any right to force himself in my life and stalk me like a psycho. Not only did he stalk…
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Note.
I met Will in the mid of 2020. I was attracted to him, a lot. But we never met in person during the period we were close. I met him at the end of 2022. So I wasn’t really sure and assumed I was asexual.
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Note.
My sexual drive was non existent even before medication. I was never interested in anyone. I used to like masturbating, that’s it. The first person I was attracted to was Lockhart.
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Note.
I started dating in 2019. The entire 2020 till mid of 2022, I complained to Dumbledore that I’m not getting turned on while dating. I even kept telling him that maybe I’m asexual. I met Ginny in the mid of 2022. That’s when I was like, oh I’m demisexual. You can speak to Dumbledore. Also,…
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Note.
I’m not playing games. I’m putting an end to the games that people started. There’s a difference. Please refer to the video below to understand.
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Note.
A lot of men have approached me and tried speaking to me in cafes, restaurants, theatres and pubs. There was even a foreigner man. When I don’t respond, they leave me alone. This was in 2024 and the end of 2023. Some of them were good looking. If I want, it’s easy and effortless. I…
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Note.
I’ve said it a million times, saying it again. No matter how bad the situation might seem. Always cultivate a habit of asking, “what happened.” Also, clarify the truth. Always. Before taking sides, before going berserk, before ganging and attacking. Because people lie and bullshit. Alot. They will never say what they did and will…
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Note.
Some people just want the attention and glory that comes with engaging with me and beefing with me. They just care about their image in front of the world. They have ulterior motives. They always end up betraying me. Please don’t give them what they want. Please understand what’s happening at least now. And be…
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Note.
My favorite public figures of history are, Princess Diana and Robin Williams. I see so many videos of them online. I really like them.
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Quote of the day.
“Real self-confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations in the mirror. Real self-confidence comes from giving the world irrefutable proof you are who you say you are” – Jimmy Carr.
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Note.
I’m not supporting men. I’m not supporting women either. I always address things from a neutral standpoint. To quote Bella, “I’m switzerland”. I’ve dealt with a lot of two face bitches and incel patriarchal assholes. So I hate both genders equally. I like both genders as well because I’ve been lucky to meet some amazing…
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Note.
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not supporting men. I don’t feel safe when I step out alone. I do understand the seriousness of what’s happening in this world. But the thing is, I don’t feel safe even with women. I’ve told you everything that women do. It’s just sad, you know. This world we…
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Note.
This is called double standards. I’m addressing these things from a neutral stand point. I’m not taking sides.
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Note.
I don’t understand how it’s okay for a woman to crush on a celebrity man even when she is in a relationship or married. And everyone is well aware of it. But it’s not okay for a man to even follow a celebrity woman whom he finds attractive on Instagram.
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Note.
I’m a feminist and I strongly disagree with patriarchy. But in today’s time, patriarchy isn’t dominant. It still exists, yes. It exists in countries and places that haven’t progressed mentally and still have a backward approach to life. But if you are privileged to live in the city, you will agree with me that most…
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Note.
I saw Ashwin Srinivas on bumble when I started dating in 2019. I saw him many many times. I always swiped left. I had no interest in him since day 1. He used to keep calling me ugly, I never liked him. I just had basic platonic love as a part of my friend group.…
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Note.
In my dream, Ginny pressed her squishy and full and stupidly beautiful pink lips on mine. There were sparks everywhere around the point of contact. I had a mini heart attack and my heart slipped and fell on my stomach and I almost fainted. Then she went down with those lips and I never recovered.…
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Note.
I’ve been chronically online because I’m waiting. I’m lowkey losing my mind and so anxious. I take out my anxiety by following and unfollowing accounts on Instagram, everyday. I keep deleting everything and clearing shit. I don’t think I can take this for very long.
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PSA to Instagram.
Could you please remove the feature where you show account suggestions on the story strip? It’s very annoying and unnecessary. No one is interested in following those accounts. I googled about it to turn off that feature and I saw people complaining about it online. Please remove that feature.
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Note.
There was so much manipulation and shade. People were helping each other no matter how much it destroyed me. There was so much internal manipulation. People were trying their best to throw mud on my name and they didn’t care even if I died. They wanted to keep their good name at all costs in…
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Note.
I agree I made typos initially when I started writing and while texting. It was just that. Typos. I was being tortured at home, online and outside. I was extremely scrutinized. I was doing my best. But later, I was being mindful. But the person who was controlling my content and surroundings was intentionally creating…
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Note.
I don’t remember using the word “act” or what exactly was the context. I see it a lot online. I honestly don’t remember. So many things have happened, it’s difficult to remember everything. I remember screaming about something to my therapist when I was being tortured and scrutinized. I don’t remember what exactly I was…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. Please stop wasting everyone’s time. I don’t wish to participate in this anymore.
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Note.
First and foremost, I love Dobby. He is one of the greatest friends in the fandom history. Unfortunately, I’ve never met someone like him. Every single person in this world knows Pettigrew aka Umbridge is not Dobby and not even fit to wash his feet. Second, I’ve already unveiled all the liars and the truth…
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Note.
I miss Ginny so much. I’m literally losing it. I don’t know what she’s been up to this last one year. I’m losing it and anxious. I cannot continue this way. Please tell me what’s going on. Please put an end to this.
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Note.
Whenever I type innocent my dictionary prediction on my phone shows “not”. When I type tom, the dictionary prediction shows “cat”. This kinda scrutiny is inhuman. That too when I’m innocent. What’s going on man?
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Note.
Being friends with women is a whole other story. I’ve already told you everything. I’m so done with everything. I just want Ginny. That’s it. She is my best friend, so I’m good on that aspect. Also, I have my family, nieces, therapist and my online community. So I’m not lonely. I’m happy and content…
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Note.
The thing about being best friends with men is that, you can’t stay close after they get into a relationship or get married. Because priorities change. You cannot speak like how you used to speak before. It isn’t good for a guy to have a girl best friend after they find someone. It isn’t good…
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Note.
When someone is not reciprocating your energy and efforts. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t see your value. You are valuable and they do see it. It just means you both aren’t compatible. So they are taking a step back. You should respect their decision and take a step back yourself. That’s all. So…
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Note.
Even after whatever she did, I forgave her and tried helping her. Because my threshold is really high. I was trying to help her and she was trying to destroy me and digging a grave for me. Since day one, I was quiet and trying to help and drawing my boundaries. Since day one, she…
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Note.
I know friendship is not a favour for favour. It’s kinda hard to explain. You know how in the hunger games Katniss remembers Peeta giving her the loaf of bread? Also, the tribute from district 11 doesn’t kill Katniss towards the end of book one because she was there for Rue and he says “for…
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Morning.
I blast defying gravity on full volume whenever I take a shower and I must say I feel invincible when the water pours over me. It’s kinda like my morning affirmation. Anyway. Happy onam to those who celebrate. Love you all. ✨
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Note.
I keep thinking about hugging Ginny and sobbing. I’m so tired of this waiting. I had a dream that she kissed me and I went crazy, in my dream obviously. And I woke up with fireworks inside me. In my dream she was doing yoga for some reason. She was also an actor now.
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Note.
Flaws are different from being shady. Every single person has flaws. There’s no such thing as being perfect. For example, Dad is mostly grumpy. While he is working on a task he gets easily annoyed. Ginny has flaws too. I noticed it while we were speaking 3 years ago. I’m not going to speak about…
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Note.
When I said I like men more than women, I meant romantically. Just to be clear. Platonically I don’t have any distinction.
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Note.
Whenever something happens, before taking sides and ganging up and torturing me and going berserk and jumping like cavemen, please ask me what happened like a normal person. I’m not even asking you to take my side. I’m just asking you to ask my side of the story before hurting me. That’s all. It’s that…
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Note.
Whenever I speak to someone, I always keep it casual and love platonically and respect them. I’m always kind and helpful. But I always have one foot outside the door. While dating or making friends or any situation. I don’t trust people easily. I take a lot of time to accept someone in my close…
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Note.
I love watching romance, animation and superhero movies. That’s my genre. Sis loves horror. Dad loves thrillers. Mom loves comedy. Everyone in my family loves different genres. Just because I don’t prefer watching the genres my family watches, it doesn’t reduce its value. Different movies cater to different audiences. It’s exactly the same with books.…
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Note.
I’ve faced a lot of shit in life. Hence my threshold is really high. I don’t fret over middle school and kindergarten problems. Some of the problems that people have are so trivial. Gosh man! Whenever you have a problem please ask yourself, is it a real problem or a middle school first world problem.…
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Note.
We are blobs existing on this planet that’s floating somewhere in this universe. We know everything there is to know about life on earth, we have been here for a long time. Things we don’t know we are finding out. Some things are forever uncertain. There are already so many problems that come complimentary with…
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Note.
Platonically I have love and respect in me for everyone as a part of my community and society from a distance. Based on my personal first hand experience with people, I hate, love, like, dislike, despise, loath etc.
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Note.
Honestly, out of all the experiences I’ve had in my life. I like men more than women. I mean romantically. I’ve experienced “speaking” to women when I was bisexual 3 years ago, I didn’t enjoy it at all. And also the way women have been behaving after I came out, even after being extremely clear…
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Note.
There was a NRI woman who liked me 3 years ago when I was bisexual. I found her attractive too. We were speaking and decided to meet. I was exploring my sexuality back then and even considered giving it a go and meeting her. I wanted to experience going out on a date with a…
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Note.
I have so many problems. I can’t do a lot of things that others can. After whatever happened, I’m scared of my safety. Please keep me safe. There are so many crazy people and creepy fans out there. I’m so traumatized.
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Note.
I don’t think she smelled like garbage. I’m sorry I said that in anger. She did look disgusting like garbage though. I’ve been so angry. She was just a random person in a random restaurant and she caused so much drama and trauma.
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Note.
When a woman is straight, she will not like every tom dick and harry who comes her way. The same way, just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I will like every single woman I see. Also, I’m a woman of class. My standards are really high. I’m extremely picky when it comes to my romantic…
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Note.
We’ve been speaking about this person since last year august. It’s september 1st today. This person is not even worth my time and energy. And I wasted one year of my life speaking about this person. Do you even understand what I’m going through? Please put an end to this.
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Note.
Pettigrew is disgusting, filthy, creepy and psychopathic. She looks like garbage and smells like rotten eggs. She used to look at me with her mouth open and eyes bulging out of her sockets. She used to keep looking at me and force me like a psycho. She was behaving vulgar and lusting and forcing. She…
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Note.
I have already spoken about biting the inner part of my lips to control my anger multiple times in my blog since last year august. Please check below. I press my lips together and bite the inner part of my lips. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note. Note.
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Note.
I have spoken about every single miniscule thing, cleared and proved it. I have given valid and legit proofs for every single thing. I’ve already proved my innocence. Prolonging this any further than this is unnecessary and ridiculous. Calling me smooth now doesn’t make sense. Neither does questioning me about things that’s already cleared and…
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Note.
As long as I exist in this reality shit will continue forever. You need to understand this. I’ve spoken about every single thing and explained it. I have explained how people behave and whatever they do and their games. I know how to navigate this life now and I have been clear about my boundaries.…
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Note.
I’ve been getting negative thoughts since I was betrayed. Everytime I was betrayed in the past I’ve had negative thoughts. I feel like stamping them and slapping and hitting and pushing them from the edge of the cliff. etc. But I don’t materialize my negative thoughts. I control my anger and try to heal it.…
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Note.
Whatever happened last year august was extremely cruel, scrutinizing and inhumanly barbaric. But it was happening indirectly. If it was direct, I could scream, shout and question people. But it was happening indirectly. I was being tortured indirectly. Do you see how inhuman that is? So I was reacting to what was happening. My tongue…
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Note.
People have advised me to die as well. Which again, I didn’t listen to. Now I’m normal and I proved my innocence. So yeah. I don’t really take anyone’s advice. I listen and I do whatever feels right to me. Whenever it’s time to go from here, I will go peacefully and welcome death like…
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Note.
When Ginny left me 3 years ago, everyone asked me to move on. Every single person I spoke to. People have been asking me to move on these last 3 years. Till last year august. Up until she said she wants to marry me. I didn’t move on because I was in love with her.…
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Note.
I want justice for every single thing that happened to me. Every single fucking thing. Starting from prison school to Pettigrew and his flying monkeys. I’ve spoken about every single miniscule thing. I want justice!
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Note.
Whatever I went through my whole life because I’m bisexual will go down in history for the inhuman barbaric atrocities. And the narrow minded bullshit filthy minds of people around me.
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Note.
If you take what the glambots influencer does out of context it becomes, he slides his eyes on the bodies of celebrities from top to bottom and says “i love you” Do you see how the meaning changes? Do you see how ridiculous this whole thing is? I was tortured inhumanly for one whole fucking…
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Note.
There’s an influencer on Instagram who does glambots. When he speaks to the celebrities, he looks at their “dress” from top to bottom and compliments them saying, “you look beautiful” “i love the dress” etc. Which is the context. You can check his instagram. He literally looks from top to bottom contextually. Every single person…
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Author’s Note.
Hello, I’ve been thinking about retiring once this is over and dusted. But I always have so many thoughts in my head and no where for it to go. So I’ve decided to do Dear Diary entries on my Substack app. No, they won’t be fanfiction. I won’t be writing every single thought like I’ve…
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Note.
I think I was not wearing my glasses when I was at the crochet class. I can’t see without my glasses. I was not wearing my glasses during that incident with Pettigrew as well. That’s why I looked at her sleeve to check the color because I couldn’t see it from afar. I was not…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself long ago. The truth is out long ago. Can you please change my books back to their original content so that I can start reading again. I’m losing it waiting this way. I want to at least read my books so that I can keep myself occupied while I wait.
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Note.
I went out on a date with a guy around starting of 2023. He is a photographer. My brother in law follows him on Instagram. I forgot his name. I followed him on Instagram briefly. You can find out this information from my Instagram data and check if my brother in law follows him. He…
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Note.
Most of the villains in my life whom I spoke about here have dark triad personality types. They are monsters who lack empathy and remorse. Actual psychopaths.
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Note.
I don’t want to live in this house with that man in this invisible double life anymore. I see that bloody aggressive stalker every time I go out for walks. I don’t have money for anything. I’m tired of waiting this way. I’m extremely suicidal and literally I’m losing it. Can someone please tell me…
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Note.
Can someone please respect me enough to answer me? What am I waiting for? Please just tell me!!!! I’m literally losing it.
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Note.
What the fuck is going on? The truth is already out long ago. What’s happening? Why are people using the words monster, aggressive, psychopath positively online? What’s going on? what are you trying to do? What kinda mind game is this? I hear the word flick and even see the sliding of eyes even now.…
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Note.
There was so much BS because of Voldemort and the death eaters. So they did whatever they did to me. Because they are old now and it was because of misunderstandings, I have forgiven them for the past. I have my moments of relapses. But it’s less as the days go by. No one is…
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Note.
Father is from the older generation of patriarchal malayali men, hence he was the way he was. Patriarchy is the norm in older generations of malayali households. The men with moustaches who wear lungi and dominate their wives. He is from that period and so is mother. They did their best with the knowledge and…
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Note.
When I say I prefer something a certain way than the other, which is a personal preference. Some people online personalize what I say and go, “see see I like doing it.” They don’t do it because they like doing it. Nah. They do it because I said I prefer something else to that. There’s…
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Note.
Rachel Catherine keeps saying in her videos that she has studied psychology and she likes observing people to find out why they are the way they are. She should probably look inwards and do some work there. Also, look at a dictionary to understand the meaning of the word platonically. If you throw shade at…
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Note.
After reading the first few chapters of Powerless by Lauren Roberts 2 years ago, I soft DNFed it. Because I was going through something very serious back then and the book was triggering me. It was the right book wrong time kind of situation. I mentioned the same in my vlog. I mentioned that I…
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Note.
When I express a personal opinion, some people can’t stand it and they go berserk and start jumping to defy me. This shows people’s insecurity level and emotional immaturity to understand that everyone can’t be the same and everyone has different likes and dislikes. My light is so bright that people encroach on my space…
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Note.
I don’t know if Ginny was really engaged or if she simply said that. I don’t know what she’s been up to this last one year. I miss her so much.
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Note.
When I started dating a few years ago because I wanted to get married, I was not meeting anyone and I said to mom and dad I want to adopt a dog if I end up alone. It was dad who gave me the idea to adopt a child and be a single mother because…
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Note.
People who are controlling my content show me old videos and interviews of people to say, this person said this word first. Okay, that person didn’t invent that word. Did they? Also, when that person said that thing, it was inconspicuous and they were speaking about something else all together. I’m the one making the…
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Note.
When exactly the same issue happened with H&M, I got my refund effortlessly in a few days. They promised to send a mail and I got an email immediately.
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Note.
The last time I called Zivame I was so angry I recorded the conversation. They promised me a refund but it didn’t happen, so I deleted the app. I downloaded the app 5 days ago and called them. They promised a refund in 5 days. When I called today they said they have no record…
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Note.
I ordered something from the Zivame app on 13th November last year. I wanted to cancel the order and I called the customer support. They asked me to reject the order at the doorstep. When the delivery partner called me on call, I asked him to cancel the order. He gave me an OTP to…
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Note.
I’m feeling suicidal. I don’t have money to speak to my therapist. I don’t have money to even take care of my basic needs. I’m living in this house with that man in this invisible double life. When the whole world is benefitting out of me and my work. What kinda inhuman cruelty is this?…
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Note.
The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for this way?? The whole world is benefitting out of me and I’m suffering in this invisible double life in this house. What the actual fuck is this? How cruel is this? When the world wants to benefit out of me and…
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Note.
Mother gets angry at me whenever I confront father. She says he’s your father. She cries saying, he needed that punishment before he died. But the truth is not going to change. I’m speaking about what he’s doing. I’m not making up BS. No matter how many times I shout at him or beg him…
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Note.
A few months ago, when I ordered an umbrella and the delivery agent created problems and I questioned him, father started boiling with anger and he hit me. So I stamped him on his stomach. It was the anger for everything that he did to me since childhood. After that we fought and he came…
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Note.
I wore shorts today. I walked out of the bedroom 3 times. Father looked at my legs 2 times out of those 3 times. Every single time I wear shorts or something short or something revealing on the top, his eyes are always on me. Always. He has been doing it my entire adult life…
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Note.
As long as I exist in this reality shit will continue forever. I want convention. What the fuck am I waiting for? Also, I don’t want to live in this house with that man. What the fuck is going on?
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Note.
I’m not scared of crowded places. Everyone knows everything about me and people really don’t know how to behave around me. I get a lot of attention wherever I go. People behave extremely questionable. So I maintain my distance. The same way Michael Jackson or Taylor Swift would avoid crowded places. That’s it. There are…
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Note.
Moana shree did whatever she did to me 7 years ago for attention. She wanted the glory that came with beefing with me. She is a demonic monster. Dudley had ulterior motives. She wanted to get a permanent position in her company, so she used my helplessness for ulterior motives. She was extremely jealous of…
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Note.
Pettigrew used to wear a men’s uniform shirt with a stain on it. The only reason I know this information is because she said this to me. She was cribbing about her uniform since day 2 and drawing attention to it. You can check with the staff about this. So when her uniform changed and…
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Note.
I forgot to tell you. The last dentist that I saw, I told her clearly not to do scalling on one particular tooth because it was hurting. She intentionally did scalling on that tooth three times and went deep on it. I said “what are you doing” She smiled and said there’s deposits in it.…
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Note.
My site froze for every single blog since last year august till I started using the jetpack app mid of this year. I had to keep exiting each time and open it again. Sometimes the blog would go blank and I had to type again. I fought so badly.
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Note.
There were honestly so many things that were going on when I was trying to tell my story. I had to fight a battle. I faced so much shit in life and when I was talking about that shit finally, I was going through shit.
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Note.
When whatever happened with Pettigrew, I was trying to type on my blog and say what happened. The people who were controlling my content created a bug in my site. My site would freeze and sometimes everything I typed would disappear. I had to fight through that as well. A lot of people were desperate…
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Note.
Every single time something happens, people gang up and torture me. Every single time. I have been screaming please ask me what happened since last 3 years. And again when Pettigrew lied, people ganged up and tortured me. People never change. Tomorrow someone else will lie. Will you do the same thing again?
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Note.
On top of this, mother was continuously stabbing me without mercy for a reaction. When I reacted, she would put on theatrics to fuck sympathy and fake cry. Based on her theatrics the world was constantly torturing me. Mother said she did that so that I suffer and die. She wanted to bring me down…
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Note.
Every single time I would speak about something important, the people who were controlling my content would create intentional typos in my blogs. They have been doing it continuously these last 3 years. They tried to constantly silence me and bury the truth. They were desperate to silence me. They were continuously torturing me based…
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Note.
If you don’t expect something from Taylor Swift or Michael Jackson, you cannot expect it from me. Period. I’m not showing off or gloating. I’m stating a fact. A relentlessly hard earned fact. I’m not lucky. I’ve put in my blood, sweat and tears to reach here. “Everyone is jealous of what you’ve got, no…
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Note.
You cannot pretend like you don’t know me and force conversation and force friendship with me. You cannot encroach on my space, boundaries and privacy. If anyone gaslights me or my family ever again, I want them to face charges of emotional distress and psychological assault. Any kinda shady unethical behaviour from anyone and I…
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Note.
People feel it’s okay to do whatever fuck they want with me because there’s no consequences with me. The world is enabling this kinda behaviour. I want justice for every single thing that happened to me. Starting from prison school to Pettigrew and his flying monkeys. I’ve spoken about every single miniscule thing and cleared…
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Note.
If you ask me the question, Would you rather be stuck in a forest with a woman or a bear? I would choose a bear. I don’t feel safe even with women. People online speak about the men who committed crimes and stereotype all men. That’s wrong. Because not all men are like that. I’ve…
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Note.
Honestly, I’m scared of my safety. There are so many crazy people and creepy fans out there. Also, I speak about so many controversial topics. I’m sure I have nemesis too. And all the nemesis that I spoke about so far. Everyone knows everything about me. I’m scared of my safety.
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Note.
Every single time I get ready and go out, a minimum of 5 people will ogle at me. This is the minimum. One person always stares at me from the corner of the cafe or metro or bus etc. Always. So many people turn their heads 360 degrees to look at me. Women ogle at…
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Note.
Men have told me that they are bisexual. I’m not going to take names to protect their privacy. More than a few men have also told me that women have told them that they are bisexual. They said to me that most women if not all are bisexual and they are lying if they say…
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Note.
Now that the truth is out and the real culprits are out, where are all the people who created riots on the road? Where are you now? Where are all the barbaric cavemen who were going berserk and jumping? I spoke about so many people who did me wrong and sexually assaulted me. Are you…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself more than required. I’ve spoken about all the manipulations, lies, assumptions, evil intentions, insecurities, games of everyone. I’ve gone to the root of the problem and solved things on a deeper level. I’ve spoken about every single miniscule thing and proved it. Taunting me any further than this is ridiculous and…
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Note.
Next time if I catch any psycho aunty or behenji or uncle look at my chest and body. See what I do. After whatever I went through, I’m not going to ignore this kinda behaviour. Behenjis and aunties and uncles have been looking at my chest and body since many years. They look at me…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about every single thing and proved it. I’ve already proved my innocence. I don’t want to exist in this reality and double life anymore. I want convention. What the fuck am I waiting for? What’s going on? What kinda mind game is this?
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Note.
After everything that we went through together, a random stranger lied and whatever I built for 2 years was thrown away in a second. This is what you do man? A random stranger lied and this is what you do? I kept screaming since day one, please ask me what happened. And this is what…
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Note.
As I already mentioned, I’m speaking the truth. I can’t help you if you are still doubting me. I cannot do anything more than this.
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Note.
You don’t need to follow my words and advice blindly. As I said before, at the end of the day, you are responsible for your life and you have to live with the choices you make. Everyone’s journey is different. So do whatever rocks your boat.
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Note.
This is based on what I see online. There’s a difference between self respect and ego. Self respect is needed. Ego is fucked up shit and I stay away from such people. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using dating apps. In this day and age, everyone’s on it. And that’s the best way…
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Note.
Bellatrix ruined sex for me. After whatever happened with him, I kinda had an aversion towards it. I was a child. I always thought something was wrong with me. Because I was dead down there. I was pretty much convinced that I’m asexual. Then I met Will. And I was like okay there’s nothing wrong…
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Note.
Whatever happened with Voldemort and Bellatrix ruined the whole thing for me. My twenties that should have been spent dating guys and partying and making mistakes, was spent crying. Then Lockhart happened but Lucius came into the picture and whatever happened happened. My entire twenties went in this. Father was also continuously torturing me and…
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Note.
When Bellatrix did whatever he did, I was so fucked. I broke badly. I kept crying for a really really long time. I was also continuously sexually assaulted by the public. I didn’t know what was happening, I was a child. I didn’t know what was rape and sexual assault back then. All I knew…
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Note.
Since I’m addressing the entire world, I spoke about rape. I’ve already spoken about it long ago. I don’t understand what is this whole deal about sex. I seriously don’t get it. Forcing sex and killing. I mean what’s going on in this world? Sex is just a high of few seconds and people go…
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Note.
I honestly don’t get the fuss about sex. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve only had sex with psycho divorcee and he forced me into doing it. Also, because he sucked in bed. But yeah. It’s just okay and not worth the hype. I wanted to do it with Will. He is the first…
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Note.
I forgot to tell you about Chintu. We met on a date a few weeks before I met Ginny. We liked each other and even did stuff in his car. It was amazing and I wanted to date him. But because of some external reasons we didn’t date. I was upset for a while and…
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Note.
If people are still doubting me, I can’t help you. I’m speaking the truth. I’ve said and done everything in my power to show you the truth. I cannot do more than this. I don’t understand why people are still doubting me, tbh. At this point, after everything we went through, it’s quite ridiculous.
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Note.
Another reason why I relate so much to Magnolia Parks is because even I don’t have self preservation when I’m in love. The love that BJ and Magnolia feel for each other is similar to how I am. I don’t know why people find it toxic. I find it extremely relatable. I love them so…
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Note.
Taylor is so relatable. Everyone online was speaking about being competitive while playing games and I couldn’t relate. I hear it everywhere, tbh. Taylor was saying she doesn’t care while playing games and she’ll let you win. That is so me!!! Oh God I love her. The podcast was so so good. I’ve never seen…
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Note.
I don’t get along with people who have too much ego. Will and Ginny are not egoistic. This is one of the main reasons that I fell for them, along with the fact that they always respect me. Even my therapist doesn’t have an ego. My mother and sister don’t have an ego as well.…
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Note.
I went through something extremely serious. I have cleared every single thing. You need to understand what I’m going through and the state of mind that I’m in. Waiting this way is affecting my mental health. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. I want to know…
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Note.
Being competitive when you are playing games or when in a competition isn’t wrong. Or maybe even at work. Most people get competitive when they are invested. But being in an extremely unhealthy competition in life with your cousin (like Dudley) or a friend etc is toxic.
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Note.
I changed my phone theme and also the themes of my apps to light mode and it looks so pleasant! I’ve been using the dark mode for way too long It’s time to add colors to my life, wardrobe and also my phone. 🐈
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Quote of the day.
“The world moves on, another day another drama, dramaBut not for me, not for me, all I think about is karmaAnd then the world moves on, but one thing’s for sureMaybe I got mine, but you’ll all get yours” – Taylor Swift✨
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Note.
I want justice for every single lie, manipulation, slander, defamation, unethical behaviour, false accusation, harassment and sexual assault. I’ve spoken about every single thing. I have taken names of everyone who did me wrong. I want justice. Why are you keeping me in the dark? Can you answer me? What the fuck am I waiting…
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Boundaries.
I’ve said it before, saying it again. So that the message is extremely clear. If anyone encroaches my space and boundaries that makes you a creepy fan. If you do it in the name of love, I have to get a restraining order. Just because someone is a creepy fan and desperate to be my…
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Quote of the day.
“All the king’s horses, all the king’s menCouldn’t put me together again‘Cause all of my enemies started out friends” – Taylor Swift✨ Imagine me sitting on a throne with the inscription, “Et tu, Brute?” when I say this. That’s Taylor Swift and that’s literally me too.
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Note.
I really don’t think nikita was busy. Because when I congratulated her, she replied immediately. When I spoke about her ego, ghosted. She wasn’t busy. We were just casual friends, so a deep dive isn’t really required. Let it be. The thing with people in the past is that, they are too egoistic. They clearly…
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Note.
Even mother verbally abuses father and even the kids and me when she’s angry. I hate that as well. I hate it here. I want to move out. I want distance from them. Living in this apartment in close proximity fucks me up. This apartment is better than all the other houses we’ve lived in.…
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Note.
When anyone wants to make content out of my content, copy my content, throw things on my face and defy me when I express a personal opinion, it will be all over the internet so damn quickly. I’m asking you what the fuck am I waiting for since a really really long time. Why are…
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Note.
These creepy fans that I told you about, not only do they cross my space and boundaries and behave extremely questionable, they also gaslight me brutally while they do that. They are creepy fans and while they assault me, they pretend like they don’t know me for an upper hand and to undermine me. This…
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Note.
Every time mother speaks to father, father says “shut your mouth” and also verbally abuses her in a condescending and disrespectful manner. Every single time. He is a patriarchal condescending malayali man. I hate it to the core. I hate him when he does that. He never changes, you know? No matter how many times…
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Note.
I keep thinking about Ginny and crying. I have been at home without money since January. I don’t feel good anymore. I want to speak to my therapist. Can someone please tell me what’s happening? I don’t understand why I’m waiting this way? Can you at least give me an ETA?
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Note.
Did Dhruv show you the messages where I said I hate him because of his manipulations and the way he makes everything sexual? And also when I asked him to look at a mirror and understand what he looks like before blaming me and to eat his own shit? Or did he cherry pick and…
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Note.
Even the monster at crochet class was a psychopath. I looked at her because I had a doubt, she clearly knew I had a doubt. But she started enjoying the attention and intentionally walked left and right and started taunting me. Such a psycho. Unethical iliterate and nincompoop. Also, The monstrous aggressive stalker in my…
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Note.
I’m honestly scared of my safety after these incidents. There are so many crazy people and creepy fans out there like these people. I don’t know who will do what again. Everyone knows everything about me. I’m scared of my safety.
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Note.
I spoke about how Ginny keeps touching my upper thigh in my blogs which turns me on. I think Anna who sexually assaulted me at the crochet workshop was trying to do that. She was sexually assaulting me by touching my upper thigh continuously. She’s a creepy fan. I uploaded a picture on my Instagram…
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Note.
Maybe Nikita was busy, that’s why she ghosted me. But there wasn’t any real friendship or connection between us for me to fight for the friendship or even wait for a response that may or may not come. Since day one it was just a casual one sided friendship where I was the one who…
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Note.
Even if my feelings are dormant, I still think about her and cry though. I cried three times today so far. I cry everyday. I’m so fucking tired of waiting. Idk why it’s so quiet.
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Note.
I deleted Will’s number and unfollowed him. I feel it’s better this way. Even if it’s platonic now, there’s too much history for our partners to feel uncomfortable. And I don’t want that. He’ll always be one of my best friends even if we talk or don’t talk. I’ll always wish him well. He’s like…
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Note.
I don’t know if it’s because of the meds that I’m on. But my feelings for Ginny have finally subsided and calmed down and dormant now. I still feel strongly for her even if I don’t feel feel. I’m sure once we start speaking again and when I see her, I will light up inside…
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Quote of the day.
“The most boring and the most dangerous people are those self-righteous people who would have you believe they have no skeletons in their closets. In fact, they have no closets. They’re full of baloney. I think that before you judge anybody, you should look at yourself and have enough courage to admit what you see.”…
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Quote of the day.
“We’re all a little bit gay” – Harry Styles. Yes. Everyone’s in the closet and they are lying if they say otherwise. Most people are 95% straight like me. Those who are out and proud are being honest. That’s it. People in the closet are hypocrites who point fingers at me because I’m authentic and…
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Note.
Everything that you think is not true but the thoughts you act on becomes your truth. And you have to own up to your actions. You can always redeem yourself when you make a mistake. But if you cause an irreversible mistake, there’s no going back sometimes. Depends. You would have to live with the…
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Note.
For the record, Just because I’m not interested in engaging with creepy vultures, it doesn’t make me a lone wolf. I’m not even an introvert. I’m an ambivert. FYI.
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Note.
If you want to find love, you have to put yourself out there. Again and again and again. Even after heartbreaks, rejections and meeting weirdos. That’s the only way, I’m sorry. Be careful when you do that though. Do background verification and bolt when anything seems off. You have to be Ted Mosby and not…
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Note.
Since I started my blog and YouTube, whenever I have something to say or feel like speaking to someone, I just put it here. When I have problems, I speak to my therapist. I keep playing with my nieces. These days my parents aren’t doing anything to trouble me, so it’s peaceful. I’m in love…
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Note.
Having said that, I don’t really text that often. I prefer texting only my partner all the time. I text everyone else when I have something important to say.
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Note.
I’ve been texting since so many years. I’ve spoken to a lot of people. A lot. I’ve been ghosted and I’ve ghosted too. I’m okay with ghosting and being ghosted. Initially when I started texting and when someone would ghost me, I would worry about them if they were okay. I used to double text,…
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Note.
Most people don’t have the ability to take accountability and apologise. They’d rather end the friendship or relationship. I’m completely okay letting go of such people. These people were never my friend to begin with, it was just casual. Because I expect high standards to accept people in my close circle and call someone my…
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Quote of the day.
“Get my car door, isn’t that sweet? Then pull mе to the back seat” – Taylor Swift✨
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Note.
One thing I appreciate is that, Rohit and Nikita took a step back silently because for some reason they didn’t want to continue the friendship. I respect their decision and I took a step back as well. There was no bad blood or defeating or slandering or attacking etc. I appreciate this a lot. I…
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Note.
I reached out to Rohit 2-3 times to resolve the conflict after what happened. Even though he was the one who gaslighted me which ended up in conflict. He prefers ending the friendship than apologising and he blocked me. There wasn’t a strong friendship between us anyway. It was just a casual one sided friendship…
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Note.
People were creating false scenarios and situations around me to make it look like it’s okay to be like that. Based on assumptions about whatever I was doing and lies and manipulations of people I know. That was scrutiny and inhuman cruelty to the extreme. Also, the world was hurting me constantly based on lies…
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Note.
Sometimes when I’m feeling salty and I open Instagram and see random posts or reels, I start feeling bitter and negative thoughts pop into my mind. At that time, I stop and reflect. I’m able to differentiate that the reason I’m feeling bitter has nothing to do with the innocent content creator and everything to…
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Note.
She said that she loves me in mid 2023. When I was a failure and going to die. Even before I proved my sanity and innocence. When we started dating, she liked me even before I was hot. All other men started liking me because I was dressing hot. But she didn’t care about it.…
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Note.
When we were speaking on call initially, she understood that I’m not good with calls. So she said we’ll text. And we were texting all the time. Also, I know that when I say something she will remember it. She keeps asking a lot of questions. I love her questions. She remembers everything I say…
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Note.
She also gets me. She is understanding. I know I can say any weird thing that I think and it won’t end up being a mess.
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Note.
Ginny also remembers every tiny detail that I text her. I would have forgotten about it. But she doesn’t. She brings it up on the date and asks me questions about it. Which I love a lot. She also sends me relatable reels based on something we spoke about. She was genuinely interested in me…
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Note.
I think people are mistaking connection with finding similarities. No, when I say connection it isn’t really that. It just means you both are interested and invested in the relationship/friendship. You have a good rapport. You just need to know how to hold the conversation and be genuinely interested in the other person. Be curious…
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Note.
Kindness, empathy, trust, compassion is the pre-requisite for me to date someone. If they care about your day and you enjoy talking to them and can go on speaking forever with comfortable silences in between. If you love the thought of coming home to them. Because they are easy to be with and love spending…
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Note.
That’s why some people sit on the edge of their seats and wait to defy me. Because I’m really good and they need something against me to satisfy their demons. They see me as a threat. They are so bloody jealous. My light is so bright, they can never come close to it. So they…
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Note.
Women are always insecure and jealous around me. Always. Because I’m really really good and everyone always likes me. They constantly try to bring me down. Starting from Voldemort, everyone has always been extremely jealous and they go to extreme lengths to bring me down. So extreme that they even want me dead. Even my…
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Note.
Why are you keeping me in the dark? What’s going on? What the fuck am I waiting for? What kinda mind game is this? What’s happening?
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Note.
People are bullshitting in front of the world. So before you gang up and hurt me and call it karma. Please ask my side of the story. This has been going on my whole bloody life. Please have some sense at least now. I’m a human being not an animal or an alien.
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Note.
I will be treating people based on my personal first hand experience with them. So before treating me shitty based on someone else’s lies and manipulations please think twice. Because it’s going to sever our relationship forever.
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I know I keep repeating myself. I’m sorry, the trauma was just too much. Waiting this way doesn’t really help. I haven’t spoken to my therapist properly since January. I’ve been dealing with this alone. I’m kinda losing my marbles.
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Every single time something happens people gang up and torture me. Every single bloody time. Based on someone else’s lies, manipulations, assumptions, insecurities, jealousy, theatrics and what not. This has been going on my whole bloody life. I don’t understand why people are so interested in my life. If you are sooo interested in my…
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A random stranger lied and this is what you do man? After everything that we went through together, this is what you do? What was the world doing? An overgrown man was made to stalk me aggressively like a monster and the world was sitting and watching and forcing me to speak to that stalker.…
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If anyone gaslights me or my family ever again, I want them to face charges of emotional distress and psychological assault. I want convention. What the actual fuck am I waiting for man? The whole world is benefitting out of me and I’m suffering in this double life. What the actual fuck is this? What…
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I don’t feel safe even with women not just men. Women behave extremely questionable with me. Not just men. If anyone likes me, there’s nothing wrong in it. This is a free country. But you cannot encroach and overstep my space and boundaries. You cannot force me. You cannot try to lure me. You cannot…
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Their defiance is as shallow and baseless as a puddle.. And I’m the mighty ocean. They got nothing on me.
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There’s a difference between having opinions, and sitting on the edge of your seats waiting to defy me and making defiance your entire personality. (like how haters like rachel catherine have been doing.) These people don’t have any valid opinions or views to support their points. They aren’t that deep, nah. All they want to…
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I want justice for every single thing. What the fuck am I waiting for? Why are you keeping me in the dark? What’s going on man?
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When someone misbehaves with me, behaves unethical, gaslights me, mistreats me or does any kind of shady behaviour, I will most definitely be writing here. I’m teaching people how to treat me. Until and unless people learn to treat me right, I’m going to be extremely vocal about it. This is the only thing I…
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Also, even when I was speaking about the color white, I was speaking about myself and my personal preferences. I clearly said “everyone looks good in it” but I personally don’t prefer wearing it. But people personalized what I said and went crazy online. I don’t even understand why because I was speaking about myself.…
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I have already spoken about why I made the DNF video and why I returned certain books etc on a deeper level. People need to learn to move on. I find the book community extremely hypocritical. Everyone has books that they dnf and dislike but I’m not allowed to have even the slightest of opinions.…
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There are 1M+ books and fable only shows me the books that I added on my dnf list years ago on Goodreads and books that I returned because it was damaged/pirated on my explore page. They are permanent on my explore page. Like I’m constantly being taunted. I deleted fable. This is scrutiny to the…
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People were taking advantage of my helplessness. There was honestly so much shit that happened and that was going on. So much shit. I’ve spoken about every single thing these last three years. There’s nothing left to say now. Please put an end to this. I cannot wait this way. I’m fucked. I don’t even…
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Voldemort was really young when whatever happened to me. So when she got to know I broke because of what she did, she must have panicked and did whatever she did. Also, during that time people were really narrow minded and homophobic because people didn’t understand it. There was a lot of stigma around things.…
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What the fuck am I waiting for? How much more should I prove myself when the truth is already in front of you long ago with valid and legit proofs? Only I knew the truth so I fought through death to say it. Now that I’ve done everything in my power to show you the…
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Draco and I used to hold hands while walking. We have hung out so many times in the decade that we were best friends. We walked a lot together. Draco told me I’m the only one he’s comfortable holding hands with, he doesn’t like doing it with anyone else. We must have said “I love…
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Everytime mother relapses and speaks about something that bothers her, father keeps repeating “shut your mouth” and silences her. I hate that about him. Because he has done too much damage in the past which cannot be buried or swept under the rug. I know he has changed and is trying. But he should have…
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I had cleared why I said “playing it cool” 7 years ago itself. I had messaged my sister 7 years ago I heard it in the song “say you won’t let go”. You can check my messages. I don’t understand why I’m being questioned now?
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When you are really angry, You can also go to the mall where you can pay money to break appliances with a bat, go for a run, go to the gym and so on. When you are horny, Watch something and masturbate or join dating apps and meet your needs with consent. You will find…
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I’ve spoken about it before, saying it again differently. I like to believe my mind is my own personal safe space. We’ll have millions of thoughts in this lifetime. We speak to ourselves, imagine, ruminate, replay memories, beat ourselves up, hurtful memories keep repeating itself and so on. We are our own best friend. Also,…
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I’ve rejected foreigners and really hot NRI women as well 3 years ago. I rejected so many women. I was casually speaking to them. That’s when I realised I’m not attracted to women in real life. I kept losing interest. I used to get scared when they asked to meet. Because I’m not interested in…
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Can the team at fable please look into this? Why are these same books permanently on my explore page?
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Fable keeps showing me the books that I added on my dnf list on Goodreads long ago and the books that I returned because it was damaged/pirated. These books are permanent on my explore page. This is extreme scrutiny man. I will be deleting fable soon if this scrutiny doesn’t stop soon. You need to…
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I want justice for every single thing. Every single thing. I want to know what’s happening. Why am I waiting this way? I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. Please just tell me!!!!!! I want to know. Please stop keeping me in the dark.
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There was so much internal manipulation. People were helping each other. They don’t care if they throw mud on my name and I die. They were helping each other save their asses. That’s why when a random stranger lied, they went berserk like barbaric cavemen and tortured and tried to kill me. They wanted to…
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When I went to the dentist last year, there was blood whenever I brushed, I had not done scalling in 3 years, I could clearly see deposits. The dentist kept saying use mouthwash to make it look like I had a problem of bad breath. They said my teeth is clean and there is no…
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I think I’m overthinking about mother. I don’t know. My mind is going round and round. Please put an end to this.
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You can check when that song was released and the date of the incident at Askaban. My internet history during that period on how many times I played that song. That was my favorite song back then.
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I don’t remember why I said “playing it cool” 7 years ago during whatever happened at Askaban. And why people were stuck with it back then. I don’t remember the context. I heard it in the song “Say you won’t let go by James Arthur” and I was quoting the lyrics, that’s it. That was…
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If you are doing something because you love doing it and you take a picture to remember it. Later, post it on the gram because it’s your own personal scrapbook. Yes, this is how it should be. If you do things just for the gram and a good picture. The likes, comments and stories. Why…
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When I said men can’t win me over with the grand gesture of roses. This is what I meant, She is being funny with this picture. Because MBF. Anyway. I do love thoughtful flowers when needed every now and then. That’s a yesss. Just because flowers? Yesss. But over doing it? Nah. Doing it for…
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I don’t know if whatever I said about mother is true. About the subtle manipulations. As long as I exist in this reality, shit will continue forever. I want this to end once and for all. The monster at crochet class doesn’t know the basic code of conduct of a teacher. I had a doubt…
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I spoke to mother and explained why I shouted. I tried to resolve the conflict. She was quiet though. I’m just waiting. I would be able to love and appreciate them better if there’s some distance. I’ve been saying this since last few years.
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I stopped wearing shorts at home because father’s eyes are always on my body. I stopped long back. I’m just waiting to move out. I’ve been waiting since a long time.
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Can someone please answer me what the fuck am I waiting for this way? I feel exploited. I know I’m supposed to feel flattered when someone copies me but I’m sorry I don’t. I feel extremely exploited. Because I’m suffering here in this double life. I’m not getting the recognition, perks, credit and convention for…
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Every time my parents want to win an argument they say, “stop shouting”. It’s extremely manipulative because they trigger me and I react. Then they behave all calm and quiet and innocent and say, “stop shouting”. They do this to make me look crazy. The manager at 46 ounces did the same thing. After everything that…
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Mother and I fought just now. We fought after a really long time. I can’t live in this house anymore. I’m fed up. I spoke about everything that happened. I’m fed up with everything, so I spoke about everything. Father said, Admit her in the hospital. So I started shouting. After everything that I went…
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I want my space boundaries and privacy to be respected. I want to move out of this house. I don’t want to exist in this invisible double life anymore and suffer without money when I’m already successful. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. What the fuck…
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I think I’m still being watched. Because the other day, I was speaking to my niece and asking about school and mother intentionally said, “stop shouting” when I was speaking. I don’t know why she did that because I was not shouting. I was speaking normally. .. I don’t like it when mother interferes in…
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I never close my nose and create a scene and make faces when someone has bad breath or bad body odor. If it’s someone close, I tell them gently. If it’s a stranger, I distance myself and move on. I never speak about it as well.. So many people in Askaban wouldn’t brush their teeth…
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The cute guy I told you about, Nishant. He came to the date after doing night shift. I think he forgot to brush his teeth because I realised it when I pecked him on his lips playfully. I didn’t say anything though. I stayed quiet and didn’t kiss him after that. I hugged him while…
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The monster at crochet class had a disgusting body odor but I didn’t close my nose and create a scene when she came near me. I kept quiet about it. Because I’m not an illiterate and unethical nincompoop like her.
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I don’t like watching anything on my phone. I like watching on laptop or the TV. (I’m stating a personal preference. Please don’t go crazy online saying you watch on phone. If you watch stuff on your phone, good for you. Everyone has personal preferences.) That’s why I rarely watch stuff. I watch stuff on…
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Waiting this way is weird because I don’t have money to do anything. So I’m just in bed doomscrolling and listening to music and very rarely watching something. With the regular everyday routine. Gosh!
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Please read my blog posts, directly from my site. Like open and read on my site. I don’t know how this whole thing works, tbh. I edit things sometimes. So go read from the site. It’s so confusing because I don’t have clarity on what’s happening in the world and how people are consuming my…
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It feels good to be normal. It feels good inside my head. I’m able to think clearly and my body feels good. When I was crazy, my body was anxious and fucked all the time, my mind was fucked, I couldn’t handle stress or any emotions rationally. It was hell. I never imagined life would…
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When I keep saying disengage. I’m not asking you to cut people off every time a problem arises. If there’s a connection, fight for it. If it still doesn’t work, well at least you tried. You’ll have that satisfaction. I’ve already spoken about this. Saying it again because I don’t want you to cut everyone…
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I don’t want to exist in this invisible double life anymore. What exactly is happening? What am I waiting for this way? I want to know what’s happening. I want to know what happened to each and every person who did me wrong. Please tell me what’s going on!!!!!
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I don’t know if you heard me, The people who were controlling my content and surroundings did a lot of shit too. They were constantly assaulting me. They were constantly hurting me based on lies and manipulations. They were constantly trying to silence me and bury the truth. They created intentional typos in my blogs.…
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Every single person in this world feels gasy and farts. Everyone. Everyone will have bad breath when they eat certain food or when they don’t drink water for a long time or if they don’t go to the dentist regularly. A few men I met on a date had bad breath when I kissed them.…
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Note. I said this last year October, fyi. I have mentioned flowers multiple times since I started writing here. I don’t know if you’ve noticed though? I have spoken about sunflowers and roses since the beginning, here and there. Sunflower is my favourite flower and Ginny is my rose because I consider myself as the…
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Apart from the fact that my stomach feels like it’s run over by a truck and there’s a crime scene in my underwear. I’m fine. I’m totally fine. I’m fineeeee. (Ross’s voice) My heart is used to being beaten up, so don’t worry about it. Also, crying and me go way back. I’m fineee. (sipping…
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List of updates you didn’t ask for. (part 2) It’s 23:18 PM I just woke up. I’ve been listening to “I miss you I’m sorry by Gracie Abrams” since yesterday and crying. I can’t relate but the feel is right. “i love being dramatic, because why would you ever deal with any emotion in a…
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List of updates you didn’t ask for. Ginny blocked me on LinkedIn yesterday. There’s absolutely no way to speak to her now. I’m unable to stop my tears since. My heart is paining and so is my tummy. (period cramps, don’t ask) I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know if she changed her…
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I want justice for every single lie, slander, manipulation and false accusation. Every single unjust pain that was inflicted on me.
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Even when my parents don’t say anything, if they are feeling salty or sad or something, it makes me upset. I react to energy before words. I don’t know why I’m this way. Yesterday father was in a bad mood and grumpy, it made me upset and I reacted. I haven’t been feeling my best…
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I’m fucking tired of living in this apartment with father and his extreme anger issues. I’m tired of existing in this double life without money when I’m already successful. I’m fucking tired of waiting this way. I’m this close to losing it. This close. What the fuck am I waiting for man?
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I called 46 ounces and said what happened to me was wrong and they said, it happened so many months ago. I stated again what happened was wrong. They apologised. It felt forced but they did apologise. I was assaulted at the bier library by the staff and when I was leaving, I couldn’t find…
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When you are getting married or getting into a relationship, Unless it’s a “fuck yessss”, it should be a no. Irrespective of age or whatever other factors. Love yourself and your own company so much that you recognise when someone is not for you and say no. You should be okay either way. If you…
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According to google the number of people who cheat on their partner is, “Approximately 20% of men and 13% of women report having extramarital sex while married. However, this number varies significantly depending on factors like age, relationship type, and even geographic location. Some studies suggest that the prevalence of infidelity is higher in unmarried…
rachana rajan <3 