rachana rajan <3

(fanfic) Harry leaves Starbucks and takes the BMTC back home. Harry keeps thinking why the movie was similar to his life. He thinks about the jokes in the movie and laughs to himself. Harry feels there is more to the picture than he sees, but can’t figure out though. Harry gets scared when he takes…

(fanfic) Harry is sitting in Starbucks drinking his hot chocolate thinking, was it really an accident that there was a Starbucks cup in front of Khaleesi in the last season of GoT. Oogway appears out of thin air and sits next to Harry and tells him in his Oogway voice,”there are no accidents Harry!!”. Harry…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I cannot for the life of me tell a man I don’t like him, so I ghost or block. I don’t know why I cannot just tell them it’s not working out or I don’t see it going anywhere and then end things. I don’t why I find those words so…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) It is unmatched when it is needed and the person absolutely fucking deserves it. I’ve never stood up for myself before and always accepted the doormat treatment. But after therapy, learning self love and valuing myself to a point that I understand disrespect, I always stand up for myself and there…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Back in the days, when I was really young and didn’t know better, I did it too because I wanted to be like the people I was friends with. But now I’ve grown and I’ve started understanding myself and my likes and dislikes better and you know what? I hate discussing…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) It took me 32 years to get here, I’m going to tell you in a single blog post. First of all, I would like to clarify this to you, no one, absolutely no one in this world is busy all the time. Let me break this down to you, every person…

(fanfic in Captain Marvel’s POV) Avengers assemble. This is Captain Marvel and I have a very important message to share. How many times has Taylor Swift been there for us? How much has she loved us? The answer is infinite, yes, nothing less. She has always always healed us with her super power. Now it’s…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) How does it happen that one magical night at 3.40AM, my heart doesn’t ache anymore even though there are bandages holding it together? How does it happen that my life which was so meaningless and blank couple of months ago is painted gold, brown and all those beautiful shades in the…

It all started when I was listening to Mel Robin’s 5 second rule. In Atomic Habits by James Clear, he talks about how if we imagine ourselves as the version we want to be and do it everyday, the habit becomes natural to us. In Ikigai, it is mentioned that once we start doing something…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Every pain has been taken away and accepted. I kept wondering why God kept me alive even after every near death experiences. Maybe it’s because he wanted me to make a difference and tell my story by being brutally honest. The world might have broke me but it put me back…

(fanfic) During the dark times Harry was always lost in his own world. Harry didn’t know why bad things always happened to him and why everyone were hurting him all the time. Harry thought that was the norm. Because unfortunately, Harry had never known what is norm. Harry kept reliving the good memories in his…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) It took me 3 years of therapy and constantly working on myself to learn self love and there is no going back from here. Self love is recognizing when someone is not treating me right and setting boundaries or cutting them off (whatever suits the situation and person). Self love is…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I like to believe that in all great love stories, it is not necessary for the two people in love to end up together (note: I’m not saying guy and the girl because it’s 2023 and we are finally in a beautiful place to accept love in all forms). I feel…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) He kinda looks like Maddy. Do you see the resemblance or is it just me? He has big beautiful eyes which I can look at forever and ever. They are so dreamyyy that I keep getting lost in them. They are filled with innocence. They are one of my favorite things…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) While I was dancing today to one of the Taylor Swift songs playing on TV and singing along holding the remote, I realised I’m happy. Finally!! (God did I take a lifetime for this). But yes, I do have those dark moments in the day too, but it’s not really that…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Honestly, I don’t think dating will ever work out given the situation. Main reason being everyone bloody gaslights me and I don’t think I want to end up with someone who does that. So unless the world wakes up and realizes I’m a human being and I would like to be…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I wish I loose my memory and don’t remember a thing. I wish the ache in my heart stops. I wish I didn’t get this constant headaches when Voldemort is nearby. I wish I could take away my mom’s pain. I wish everyone I love is safe and happy always. I…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) So I re-read the little prince the other day, why does it make more sense to me every time I read it? He goes to a garden with thousands of roses but he still thinks about his rose in his tiny planet. Why do I do that too? Why do I…

(fanfic) Harry is okay, yes. Harry feels it’s a blessing to be okay. Is okay an underrated word? idk, but he is grateful to God and feels his presence. He hardly uses his phone. He hardly has friends too. He calls the few people left in his contact list sometimes. But they don’t really pick…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Even if the world pushes me down again and again, I don’t stay down. I choose to get up and dust off the speck of dust and put on my cape and face the day, always always looking my best. This is the legacy I want to leave behind. I choose…

(fanfic) Harry is defeated and sits in his room and cries. Harry has been feeling suicidal lately because of all the mess that he had to go through which he didn’t deserve to go through. He has been holding on and surviving in spite of the hardships. Every time Harry stands up for himself the…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Maybe the previous few blogs has been a bit harsh, but so was my state of mind. I go through hell and back sometimes, when I realize something that I didn’t realize or make sense of before. It’s been crazy making sense of things that was so obvious but I was…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) People are so full of this even if you don’t ask for it. It’s so easy for people to say, “I don’t have a victim’s mindset” “I don’t hold grudges” “I always think positive” “oh can you just move on”. Well, if they were in my shoes and went through everything…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have dealt with so many people in my life who has their ego so up high. There is a difference between ego and self respect. It’s good and necessary to have self respect but not ego. Ego kills everything. Whenever I have confronted someone for something brutal that they did…

Human’s make a big deal about the most silliest things. One of my mom’s bestfriend is over 65 years old, but she even now lies about her age and say she is 55. I mean how does it even matter, isn’t growing old a privilege? She should feel lucky to have lived a long and…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There are a lot of people out there who need a behavior coach, extensive therapy and a psychiatrist but do not take it up. In my span of 31 years, I’ve come across so many of them like that that my mind is fucked now. I have been completely traumatized and…

(Fanfic) Harry defeats Voldemort to nothing, Khaleesi chops his head into million pieces and screams. Voldemort is no more now. Bellatrix Lestrage, the deranged bitch, who has been watching her parents have sex since childhood is no more too. She raped Harry when Harry revoked his consent and told the world BS about him. She…

(Fanfic) Since the beginning of time, Harry didn’t have a say in things. Harry was continuously shouted at, beaten up, harassed mentally and sexually, raped, treated like a fucking doormat Harry’s friends used to treat him like a doormat and project their ego and trauma on him. They kept harassing him. They took advantage of…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I had a different childhood so everyone thought something was wrong with me(including me). Voldemort’s faulty perception added to it(refer to horcruxes). I was gaslighted, bullied and mentally tormented to a greater extent by my school friends and I was in a really bad state so I couldn’t stop crying and…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’ve never really felt any jealousy, unless I’m in love with that person and they are married to someone else. For some crazy reason, people think I get jealous of other’s promotion and success when I don’t really desire what they have. Even if I’m given that position, I don’t want…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Taking people’s videos and hacking their phone without their knowledge and consent is violation of their rights. Invading in someone’s private life without their knowledge is wrong in all senses. Everyone reading this is well aware of this. What was done to me was inhumane and cruel. Everyone are aware of…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There is no one in this world who is more aware of this word than me. Everyone gaslights unintentionally sometimes. To a point it’s okay. But intentional gaslighting is psychological torture. People would say “oh I didn’t know the meaning of gaslighting” but they are well aware of the term “lying”…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I didn’t know anything about this world before so I was manipulated as badly as Travis manipulates Archer in Archer’s voice. When Voldemort and the death eaters did it, I didn’t get it at all. Voldemort would say things like “a girl raped a boy in a college” “Some actor showed…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’m not going to take the help of fanfic to convey this because this has to be addressed directly. The evil Voldemort is no more now and is long gone but traces of him is left and unfortunately I’m unable to break the preconceived notions that he so strongly engraved in…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Not surprisingly, it hasn’t been a pleasant experience. Growing up, the boys in school and college kept calling me ugly and kept asking me to introduce them to my friends. It was traumatic cause they wouldn’t even think twice before calling me ugly. They would constantly say it. I had a…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) While we are at it, let’s talk about this as well. So you are well aware of my first mistake the deranged Bellatrix. This was followed by Gilderoy Lockhart. Let’s continue talking about what happened after the infamous kiss. He continued leading me on by saying “hmm” whenever I very stupidly…

(from Harry’s POV) I have a cousin, let’s call her Dudley, I was nothing but sweet to her since day 1. I tried my best to help her and be there for her and trusted her and shared my secrets but she was a bitch who was always jealous of me and never had good…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Every time Tayenjam and I hang out, she used to be glued to her phone and texting the whole time. She used to hardly talk to me. Most of the time I don’t know what to do, so I just look at her and ask her whom she is texting. I…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Because of the preconceived notions created by Voldemort and the death eaters, it affected all my relationships that I’ve had in life. I’ve had more than my fair share of toxic friends. Anyone could walk all over me and blame it on my mind because I didn’t have a say in…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Healing looks a lot like having shit load of anxiety and breaking down for no reason in the middle of the day. I’ve been broken since forever. Lately, I’ve got my shit together. How you ask? With the help of a lot of music, love, therapy and writing about it. But…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Fast forward 5 years. Lockhart tells Harry he would love to meet him and Harry asks him to go fuck himself. Lucuis Malfoy tells Harry he is really important and wants to meet him, but Harry has self respect now and tells that manipulative son of a bitch that karma is…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Just because I’m bi doesn’t mean I like every woman I see, just like how I don’t like every man. Growing up I do not know why it happened to me, but every time I spoke to a girl and tried to be friends with them they would call me a…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Growing up I was the person who didn’t like to upset anyone and always put their needs before mine and well now? IDGAF. During school, when I finally made friends I was so happy yet so clueless about the world. They were the kind of people who would only talk about…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Dating in my 30s is so much better than in my 20s. In my 20s I was naive and overlooked a lot of red flags because I didn’t understand what is love. I messed up a lot and chose a bunch of toxic men and pined over them. Now that I’m…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’ve been sick since quite sometime now and I’ve been looking inward. I have tonsils and I almost died couple of times (that’s what it felt like). It has made me realize how fleeting life is. I’ve been mad at a lot of people in my past because of the way…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There were days that we would talk non stop throughout and now we are blocked. To be honest, when I invest a lot of time, energy and effort on someone, I pine and hold on even after it’s over. Let it be friendship or relationship. I tend to keep going back…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have heaps of this. The pain has reduced now, but honestly, it took me a long time. It took me years to come out of what happened to me. Imagine a 20 year old innocent and normal girl who was minding her own business being mentally tortured like in the…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) If you expect to get everything you want you’re in for a hard ride. ‘Cause life is not that easy. I found love last year but it was taken away from me in the midst of chaos and it took me forever to let go. I still cry myself to sleep…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) He is everywhere. I’ve struggled my entire life with a lot of things. But never felt like giving up even if I come close to it because He was there with me throughout. Even now He is here with me. I struggle to make ends meet even now. Struggle to go…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) I’m a hopeless romantic who lives in the world of romance. I love getting lost in the pages and living in a world where only the fictional characters exist. I love reading, watching and experiencing love. I believe love is the meaning of life and what makes the world a better…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I imagine myself sitting on the beach and just looking at the vast expanse of water beyond. (can’t do that in reality yet, ’cause my bank balance doesn’t agree) There is a certain calmness that comes after the storm. The calmness where I accept that things that happened where not in…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I do get the empathy. I do understand everything and see the empathy for what it is. I do understand the disrespect and the lying as well. I wasn’t born yesterday. I understand the difference between empathy and harassment. I understand, maybe my story needs to be heard. I do get…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) Girl, no. I hear this everywhere, “don’t go behind the person who doesn’t put any effort and choose the one who chooses you even if you don’t feel anything for him”. Fuck, this is the most ridiculous thing I have heard. First and foremost, I would like to clarify, if you…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I don’t say this often amma but you are the most important person in my life. I cannot imagine how you do what you do, everyday. You keep saying my job is difficult but what you do is 10 times more difficult than mine. You take care of all of us…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) So I was all set to get out into the world but I’m stuck in my room again. I was taken to the emergency few days back because I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I am going to die and my life flashed in front of my eyes the whole time.…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I was pushed back down again but I am back up on my feet and now I am dancing. Time and time again I am pushed down by the world and by the weight of my mistakes and also because of heaps of misunderstanding. I’ve learnt that’s how life is, problems…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I find myself slipping into depression ’cause the floor is all watery with my tears. Sometimes I loose myself and I dunno what I am living for anymore. I dunno why I do what I do and what’s the point of all this. Sometimes there is nothing good left in my…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There have been many people who did me unjust, but I let them go. I could have raised an HR complaint or sued them. They should be behind the bars right now. But they are not. The school friends who made me crazy, the guy who raped me, the manager who…

Many times when I go on dates with guys I get turned off when they treat the waiters like their servants. First and foremost, I would like to make it clear to the world that the waiters at restaurants, the helping staff at all the places, the sales persons at showrooms, the cab drivers, the…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Life has no meaning anymore. Now that I know everything and everything makes sense, I do not have any headache. I have put the baggage down and behind me. I feel light as a popcorn. But yeah, I don’t know what I am living for? I do not feel like dating…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I have been confused about my sexuality since a very long time, but now I am sure I am bisexual? I have been attracted to women on screen since my early memories. I didn’t really know what it meant because women in real life never attracted me. So I always felt…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I miss Ginny so much my heart is torn apart and there is a constant ache. Does she also miss me as much? Why do I feel she thinks of me too? I really can’t go on this way. Life is so meaningless. The clothes that I bought for her is…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) My heart is in pieces and some parts are missing. How do I move on when I am still in love? How do I move on when I crave to hear his voice? I am living in my head and in the memories. Memories I don’t wanna forget. There is a…

I wish i lived in a world where transgender was accepted as a part of the society. Why do I see them begging for money on MG road? Why don’t I see them working at a office or anywhere else where they want to? After reading about Elle from Heartstopper I feel so much love…

(Fanfic) Long time ago Harry was best friends with Lucius Malfoy because he was stupid. He was an emotional vampire who used to send Harry 50 text messages at a time saying he wants to die and he wants his parents dead whenever he was fucked up. Harry used to get fucked up because of…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) There have been many people in my life whom I’ve loved immensely but we don’t talk anymore. The thing is when we get too close to a person fights are bound to be. But how do you handle the fight is what matters. I’ve been close to a lot of people…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I was not close to my parents for a long time. We used to live in a house as small as a matchbox and because of the close proximity there was always fights and I was invisible. I don’t remember much though which I consider a blessing. But I do remember…

(Fanfic) Harry isn’t questioning James’s intention behind staring. Please read the blogs again. Harry is getting fucked because James stares, which is a reality. Harry gets fucked when someone’s eyes is glued to his body. Harry gets fucked when men from dating app keep asking him for a blowjob when he has no intention whatsoever…

(fanfic) 5 years ago. Harry and family were getting ready to go to his brother’s house. Harry wore a tight tee shirt which showed little bit of his chest. When Harry walked out of the room, James Potter kept staring at Harry’s chest and didn’t look anywhere else. His eyes were glued to his chest.…

(Fanfic) Harry used to live in a house the size of match box when he was young. James potter was always hot headed and used to beat him, Lily potter and his brother all the time. He used to always verbally abuse them. There was always fights. There wasn’t a day without fight. Lily potter…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Most days I’m okay, but some days it’s hard. Some days my past hits me like waves and I am not okay again. My therapists asks me to accept things but how do I accept certain thing which weighs so much that I am literally on the ground unable to get…

(Trigger warning : rape) (fanfic in Harry’s POV) Did I tell you about the time Bellatrix Lestrange assaulted me? (let’s grab a champagne and sit down for this one) When I didn’t know what’s dating long time ago, Bellatrix Lestrange happened to me(in my story it’s a he, but humor me will you). She took…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) In my dictionary empathy is direct, for example “i heard this about you I’m so sorry you had to go through that” “I’m sorry things are this way” “did you actually go through everything that i heard, I’m sorry about that, are you okay?” “you’re so cool to have faced it…

(Fanfic) Harry never felt like he owned an explanation to anyone. But it looks like people are bound to misunderstand him if he is mute. Honestly, Harry never asked anyone to speak to me in a “special way”. He is very much capable of going on with day to day life conversations without being spoken…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) The guy I’m in love with left me. But my heart is not able to accept the fact he is gone. I feel he is still here near me and in my memory. I keep reliving those memory. I know it will blur one day because there is so much space…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) A long time ago, there was a lot of misunderstanding and I was mute. I wished I was Renesmee, but I wasn’t. I spoke few words to the chaos that was happening around me. No one was listening even though I spoke to them and said all I needed was a…

(fanfic from Harry’s POV) The humans portrayed in the movie is the extreme of what we see in reality. Sometimes some people around you gets so cruel for their own selfish needs. The power clashes gets so brutal, they don’t really care about a good person or her mental health. They exploit you to the…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I am very well aware of this topic mentioned in the title because I’ve dealt with it my whole fucking life. As far as I can remember I’ve always been skinny and wheatish complexion and my hair has been frizzy. Which I feel is not a sin but the amount of…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) Like every girl reading this blog I’ve been sexually assaulted too. I still remember the first time it happened, it was in school when I didn’t know what sexual assault is. My uncle lied to me and took me to Kerala in a local compartment. I still hate my uncle for…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I’m so sorry for everything that you had to go through. I’m sorry people misunderstood you. I feel awful when I think about what you were put through because you were mute. I am sorry I hated you for a long time for not standing up for yourself when all you…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) After much thought and reflection, I feel karma is an unnecessary word. When your friend, boyfriend, parents or whoever hurts you, your first thought maybe karma is a bitch and you might hate on them, vocal or not vocal. I might have done it too. More than necessarily. But hey, not…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) why the taboo around talking about sex when it’s as normal a thing a person does like walking into a restaurant to have dinner? I do not know, do not look at me. Please look at Rajesh uncle and Bina aunty who doesn’t give Chintu sex-ed talk in his teenage years…

(fanfic in Harry’s POV) I started dating without understanding the ABC of it. So obviously made a lot of mistakes along the way and now I feel I am at a much better understanding of the whole concept. I just got discharged from the mental hospital (kidding lol or am I ? *raises an eyebrow*)…