Category: Uncategorized
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Note.
Please change my books back to neutral so that I can start reading again. Even the books that I finished in the past. I do not wish to keep books in my shelf where I’m being taunted and attacked or even questioned for no fault of mine. I keep checking the books I finished everyday.…
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Now father is behaving like I’m the villian for confronting him for staring at my body my entire adult life. I don’t understand this.
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I’ve already proved myself enough. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? Why am I still suffering living this way in this house?
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He started verbally abusing me. So I verbally abused him back. I didn’t start anything. Apparently they don’t like it when I speak the truth.
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I confronted father just now. Father and mother got angry and started behaving as though I’m the one who is wrong. Father said, bring a sword and cut her legs off and started verbally abusing me. As though I’m wrong and he didn’t do anything. I kept repeating don’t shout at me, I’m not the…
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There were two ladies who were sitting in the entrance of my apartment block in the afternoon. I passed through them yesterday and they were ogling at my legs the entire time. The man at the reception of California burrito stared at my cleavage two times, when I went there starting of last year. There…
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Everytime I wear shorts, father’s eyes are always on my legs. He was staring at my legs even today. No matter how many times I ask him not to stare at my body, it’s of no use. Because he just doesn’t change his ways. He just doesn’t stop. I no longer want to live in…
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I request people to stop wetting their lips and putting their tongue out while referring to me. All that was a reaction to torture. And referring to me this way is inhuman and cruel because I’m a human being not an animal or alien. It is jarring to see people referring to me by my…
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I want the contents of my books to be changed back to the original content so that I can start reading again. Even the books that I finished in the past. I do not wish to keep a book in my shelf or even read, with such content where I’m being attacked. I already mentioned…
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Dear Dairy.
My throat still feels weird at times when I eat certain food that doesn’t suit me. I feel better after an hour or so. But sucks that I haven’t completely recovered. I’m okay otherwise though. I’m grateful for that, considering I almost died because of my throat last year. My stamina still sucks sometimes because…
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My books still haven’t been changed back. Also, Why exactly am I continuing to wait in this reality this way? What exactly am I waiting for? Can someone please explain this to me? I know the whole world is reading this. Can someone please answer my questions as to what’s happening? How many times do…
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So many women and most of the men ogle at my cleavage and legs whenever I wear something revealing and step out. With creepy disgusting expression on their faces. Next time I catch someone doing it, I’m going to create a scene and blow it out of proportion. Period. People tortured me for something innocent…
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I love collecting books but I do not wish to keep books which is of this form in my shelf with me. You do not understand how traumatizing this is for me. Please change it back. I’m literally at the end of my rope. I’m done feeling this way and feeling suicidal every single day.…
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Also, since I’ve cleared everything. I want what I asked for. I don’t understand what exactly I’m waiting for and why I’m made to suffer this way. Can someone please respond? Because it’s affecting my mental health. Waiting and suffering this way without money in this house, when I’m already successful and the whole world…
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I do not wish to keep books in my shelf where I’m being taunted or hurt for no fault of mine. Or even being triggered in the form of empathy. And even being questioned for the trial. There is nothing left to hide anymore, I know everything that’s going on to an extent. So please…
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Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? And why I’m shown old triggering contents online of few months ago which is already cleared. The truth is already out long ago. What’s happening?
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I’m waiting for people to change my books back to it’s original content so that I can start reading again. Even the books that I finished in the last 6 months. Can someone please confirm if it’s done? I will not be reading again till this is done. Can someone please answer me? Also, Can…
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Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? I’m literally losing it waiting this way. I haven’t stepped out of the house in 2 months. I don’t have money to do anything. I cannot take this anymore.
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Mom is sick. I don’t have money to take her to the hospital. This is the right time to give me what I asked for. I don’t have money to even take care of my basic expenses.
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I’ve already proved myself and cleared everything. Please explain to me why this is prolonging? Someone please answer me so that I can calm down. I’ve been feeling suicidal everyday and I’m fed up. Tell me what’s going on.
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If this continues any further I will fall on the floor and die. I will not end my life but my body will definitely fail.
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I spoke about those 3 men because they were good compared to others. There were few others who were good too. Like Sid and others. I would have probably said yes to Milan if I hadn’t met Ginny. But I don’t know. I can’t picture myself with him. But I would have probably tried to…
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If you want me to start reading again, please change my books back to its original content. Even the books I finished these last 6 months, including daisy hates. I’m genuinely not interested in being taunted anymore. I’ve had enough and I’ve lost interest to read too. I’ve already said everything. I’m fed up and…
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Milan Mehta was chasing me last year saying he loves me and calling me hot. If I was deprived of physical intimacy I would have met him. But I didn’t. He is really good looking and filthy rich, if I wanted those things I would have said yes to him. There were couple of other…
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Everything is proved and spoken about long ago. I no longer wish to participate in this games. I want what I asked for, content will continue after that. Thank you. I don’t understand why people are prolonging this shit unnecessarily, I don’t wish to oblige anymore. I’ve spoken about everything multiple times. If the law…
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I’ve uninstalled Goodreads and audible. I’ve unfollowed everyone on Instagram too because I don’t want to see anything book related. I will be throwing away all my books soon. I’m done. I no longer wish to be scrutinized this way. I’ve spoken about everything. Everything was cleared long ago. How many times do I have…
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I’ve lost interest to read. I don’t feel like reading anymore. If people want me to read again, please change my books back to its original content and let me know when you do it. Until then, I’m done. I no longer wish to go through this trauma and scrutiny. Over and over and over…
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My eyes didn’t slide on her body. I looked at her sleeve because she was drawing attention to it. I’ve already spoken about it million times. I might have looked down when I was speaking because I always look down. Honestly, I don’t even remember the incident. I’ve said everything that I remember. How many…
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I’ve added all the books that I DNFed and couldn’t read in the past, on my TBR once again. I was thinking about it. I understand the enormity of my words and the impact that I have now. When other booktubers do it, maybe the impact isn’t that huge. Since literally everyone are watching my…
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The monster at social intentionally served me manipulated food when I had tonsils and was smiling when I was eating it. This is called as attempt to murder. I was also sexually and mentally assaulted by her on several occasions. …. Every unjust pain that was inflicted on me should hit the perpetrators. This is…
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When I went to Sunny Joseph a decade ago. He was really bad at his job, one. Two, I wrote him a letter to thank him. He started behaving as though I like him because of it. I was so confused. He said to me, he wants me to meet a man and there’s a…
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Quote of the day.
…. “sometimes the fire you founded Don’t burn the way you’d expect Yeah, you thought that this was the end” – Olivia Rodrigo. …. “You did some bad things, but I’m the worst of them” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “You asked me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast. The…
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I want injustice to be answered with justice. I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the consequences of what they did to me. Starting from prison school to Peter Pettigrew and his flying monkeys. I’m teaching people how to treat me. I want people to clearly understand that there’s going…
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I cannot live in this house anymore. Father was staring at my legs even today. He has sexually assualted me my entire adult life. Because everyone thought my perception was faulty and every time I spoke about it, people were trying to change my perception instead of asking him to stop. He had that leverage,…
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I’ve said this before but saying it again. When someone has changed and grown, please don’t bring up what they did in the cold winters of 1991. Please keep up with their growth. Everyone are always changing and growing as we gain experiences, by constantly learning and just life. It’s constant and a verb. ….…
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A conversation between people is supposed to be a dialogue. Not a monologue and information/trauma dumping by one person. Also, the first time you meet someone, please don’t dump your history and trauma on that person. It’s the first time you are speaking to them, that person literally doesn’t have the ability or mindspace to…
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I’ve already spoken about everything multiple times. Even proved it multiple times. Can someone please explain to me why this is prolonging? I know everyone are reading this. Someone please answer me. Please don’t keep me in the dark. I’ve been feeling suicidal every single day my entire life. I’ve had enough. What’s going on?…
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Neethu and I were taking selfie last time we met, after taking the selfie neethu suddenly looked at my chest for one second and said nice top. I was wearing a tight tube top btw. It was within context. Every time Draco and I meet, the first thing she does is look at my chest…
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I don’t know how many times I have to repeat the same thing. I have already spoken about everything and even proved it. When people wanted me dead and tortured me, it happened so quickly. But when the truth comes out. I have to repeat the truth for 6 months and still people are not…
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All my friends Draco, Lucius, Neethu etc and my family have looked at my chest, ass and body multiple times to compliment my clothes. Every single one of them. They have done it all my life. My mind is clear and I know it is within context, so I don’t blame them for staring at…
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I’ve already spoken about everything multiple times since 6 months. How long will this be pulled for? She is a psychopathic monstrous vulture who was lusting on me and forcing and projecting. I have explained and spoken about everything. How long will this go on for?
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When someone declines your invitations continuously and deletes your number and pushes you and never approaches you. It’s clear that they aren’t interested. She forced me to message her when I was stepping out. She was forcing so much even after I deleted her number. So I took her number again and I asked 2-3…
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I was being extremely clear that I’m not interested to engage. I was constantly pushing her, declined her invitations and deleted her number. Which is a clear, no I’m not interested. People don’t have to read my mind to understand this boundary. It’s a clear no. But that didn’t stop her. She was forcing like…
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I’ve already proved myself enough. Can someone please explain to me why I’m waiting? I know everyone are reading this. Someone please answer me.
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I want what I asked for. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for and why I’m waiting? Why is this prolonging?
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I’ve already proved myself enough. What exactly am I waiting for? When everyone wanted me dead based on lies and tortured me, it happened so quickly. Why is this prolonging?
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I called zivame again before giving up on them completely. They said it is marked as delivered and made me repeat the same thing once again. And they are making me wait again. I honestly don’t know what’s going on.
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Also, I did not ask Peter Pettigrew to meet willingly. I asked her to join me 2-3 times when I was stepping out because she was forcing me like a psychopath. She was forcing herself in my life whenever I went there and forcing like a vulture. She forced me to message her. Because of…
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I bought something from zivame app in November. I wanted to cancel the product so I called them to cancel and they asked me to reject the product at the doorstep. When the delivery agent called, I asked him to cancel the delivery. He gave me an otp to cancel. I gave the otp to…
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Quote of the day.
…. “I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want ’em all” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “I loved you before I knew you.” – Maddy, Everything Everything. …. “take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)” – Taylor Swift✨ ….
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I say white lies because I don’t like hurting anyone. People lie to bring me down and to save their asses. I have no words. None.
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Please don’t try to lure me, don’t make a move on me, don’t blame me for liking your face. If you do this, I will show you a mirror and abuse you till my heart’s content. You’re not going to like it when I reject you. So please don’t start shit. Please keep it platonic…
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I want what I asked for. Can someone please answer me. I know the whole world is reading this. Why is this prolonging?
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Disclaimer. Whatever advices I have given here on relationships, marriage and dating, is textbook and precocious knowledge and whatever little experiences I have by dating a bunch of men in the past. I have spoken to more than 100 men since 2019. I’m good at certain things, so I observed and noticed things during that…
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Can someone please explain to me why this is prolonging? The truth is already out. Can someone please answer me?
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The truth is already out long ago. How long will you pick at the same breadcrumbs for? Why the fuck is this prolonging? When people wanted me dead based on lies, everything happened so quickly. But when the truth comes out, people pick at breadcrumbs forever and ever.
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I had a crush on neethu when I was bisexual 3 years ago. When I said this to her, she called me fucking hot and started calling me home when she was alone. If I was attracted to women in real life I would have gone to neethu’s house when she called me back then,…
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I’m allowed to change my mind about a person, after I get to know their true colors and true intentions. And take a step back. No matter who it is, a random stranger, boyfriend, friend, colleague etc. You cannot bring up the past where we had few good exchanges and use words like false hopes…
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When Peter Pettigrew lied, people tortured me and wanted me dead so quickly. Without a second thought or asking my side of what happened. I spoke the truth long ago and even proved it. But people are still picking at breadcrumbs after 6 months. And prolonging the shit unnecessarily. What would you call this exactly?
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I’ve already spoken about everything and even proved it. Could someone please explain to me why this is prolonging?
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Whenever I listen to hukkum song, I skip the first 1 minute. You can check this information. I don’t relate to this song entirely. I posted it for whatever reasons I told you earlier. …. After everything that father did, it took me a lifetime to get out of the trauma and forget and forgive…
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One of my glasses is grey. I bought these in January 2024. I met the person in question on feb or march, not sure. I had an other grey glasses that I bought in 2022. FYI. You can fact check on my lenskart app.
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time stamp : 7.20 further proof for grey. this video is 2 years ago. one year before i met the person in question.
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I don’t speak against weak people. I haven’t till now. I always help and support them. But going forward if someone crosses my boundaries, I will definitely be speaking up. I will not be thinking about saving their job. They should be thinking about saving their jobs themselves and behave accordingly. After my experience with…
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Please stop playing these stupid mind games. I want what I asked for. I cannot exist in this reality a day longer. Please stop prolonging this.
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I want what I asked for and I want to be treated conventionally. I do not want to live this invisible life anymore. Please stop speaking to me in a special way. Why am I waiting and what exactly am I waiting for? Why is this shit prolonging? I know the whole world is reading…
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Try gaslighting Taylor Swift or any other celebrities or public figures out of their achievements and keep undermining their value and worth. You’ll understand my value. Existing in this double life is not easy. Where I’m already successful but I’m suffering in reality when the whole world is benefiting out of me. Inspite of this,…
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I want what I asked for. Can someone please answer me why I’m waiting? I cannot take this any further.
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Can someone please explain to me why this is prolonging and what exactly I’m waiting for? I cannot take this any further.
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I don’t know what kinda games people are trying to play by mentioning and wearing grey and white. And continuing to taunt me about the same thing in all my books over and over again. And making my family be pessimistic and intentionally gaslight me. And making father to intentionally sexually assault me. I’m standing…
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I know everyone knows that I’m innocent and everyone are supporting me and everyone already knows the truth. So I don’t understand the intentional mind games and the intentional taunting. And why this is prolonging unnecessarily. Are people trying to benifit out of me by playing these stupid mind games for content generation purposes? Or…
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I’ve already spoken about everything. I would like an explanation for what exactly I’m waiting for and why I’m waiting? Can someone please answer me?
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I’m not even fucking deprived of physical intimacy to do whatever she accused me of. You should see how men chase me. I have that thing about me, if I want it I can easily and effortlessly get it. I had spoken to few women when I was bisexual years ago. They wanted to meet,…
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Honestly, I don’t understand why the shit is being stretched so much. That aunty is not even my type. I already explained and proved everything. I wasn’t even fucking interested in her uniform or even to speak to her, she was cribbing and drawing attention to it and since it’s my favourite color, I said…
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I know everyone knows I’m innocent. Please stop playing stupid mind games and prolonging shit unnecessarily. I’m not falling for it.
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I can’t handle this trial anymore. I’m feeling extremely suicidal everyday. I can’t keep a brave face anymore. I’m exhausted and depleted. I might fall on the floor and die if this continues one more day. I have no strength left to fight. Please put an end to this. I don’t think I can handle…
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Peter Pettigrew didn’t say sorry because she was sorry. She said sorry because her manager asked her to apologise. It was a half assed fucked up apology. FYI. She started questioning me as to why I spoke to her manager and stuff. Like what she did was ethical. (sarcasm)
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Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent. Can someone please answer me why this is prolonging? The truth is already out. Can someone answer what’s happening please? I know the whole world is reading this. I can’t take this a day longer.
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Also, The whole point of me making content was to prove my innocence and sanity. It became whatever it is now. Success is an added benefit, that’s it. So I took advantage of it and asked for things I want because I deserve it. Because I don’t wish to work again. That’s all there is…
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People in the public eye might have spoken about something in the past. Whenever someone is in the same situation, it’s quite normal to experience the same things. I say certain things based on my experience which might be similar by coincidence. I don’t understand why the person who is controlling my content is pulling…
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Does someone want to explain to me why I’m being taunted even now in my books? I know everyone in this world are reading this. Can someone answer me? What kinda pleasure people are gaining by repeating the same thing over and over again and making me feel suicidal every day. Even after proving myself…
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How many times will I be taunted about the same thing over and over again in my books? By using words flick, cat, gawk, stare, unabashedly, smooth? How many times? Even after clarifying and speaking about every damn thing. How long will this go on for? Why is no one taunting my family and friends…
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Also, I did not kill anyone. I take absolutely no responsibility for how fully grown adults are handling the truth. They spread slander and manipulated the truth. They took zero responsibility for me. I came out of it myself like an adult, cleared everything and spoke the truth. I had some help too. So teamwork.…
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People are putting on theatrics to make it look like they have a problem with me being different. And make it look like I have bad breath instead of cleaning my teeth. Make it seem like I’m the problem in front of the world. By pointing out and saying unnecessary things. Whereas otherwise, the same…
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I’ve said this before but saying it again. Because well, Anyway. You aren’t a 2 year old in kindergarten to fret about someone not wanting to be your friend or not wanting to be in a relationship with you. We feel what we feel. You can’t and should not force it. Go with the flow.…
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Dear Diary.
When I said hungry, I meant I want something to eat. But I can’t go out of this room because parents are asleep. I’m craving McD. I’m waiting for Ginny to speak to me. I have dreamed and imagined all possible scenarios. Everytime I think about seeing her, I start to cry. I don’t know…
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Dear Dairy.
5.37AM. I miss Ginny so much. The moon was at the top yesterday and it was half and white. It’s so amazing how the moon moves with me while I walk. It’s like we are moving together to our secret melody and dancing. I smile whenever I see it. Late in the night, I went…
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Note.
Everything I’ve said about Peter Pettigrew is the truth. I honestly don’t know why it is being stretched this way because we barely spoke. She is just a random person. There was nothing between us for this to go on for 6 months to be completely honest. But after what happened to me, I want…
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I spoke to Him my entire childhood when I was silent. That’s why “God saw what you did” comes out of me naturally. Because I was speaking to Him.
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I’ve been saying “God saw what you did” to the people who wronged me since a really long time. I didn’t even know to speak back then. I didn’t even know I would be able to prove myself one day. All my life, no one I liked has loved me because I was crazy and…
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For the record, No one thinks I’m a predator because I’m bisexual. The women I mentioned in the list whom I liked were flattered that I like them. Shruti kissed me on my cheek, Keerthana sent me her revealing pics, Neethu started inviting me home and last time I spoke to her she spoke about…
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I’m so glad I decided to start doing YouTube and continued with it even though there were so many hurdles and criticism. I was able to prove my innocence. I know God made me do it and He gave me the strength to continue. When I prayed for world peace during childhood and I kept…
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My old youtube videos are so cringe. But I learnt how to speak because of persisting the cringe phase. So just focusing on that. …. Also, Another reason that I feel everything happened at the right time is because, the machine that checks the eyesight at Lenskart was introduced couple of years ago. I wouldn’t…
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(trigger warning) When I spoke about intrusive thoughts, I was speaking from experience. My life was no where near good until I met Ginny. Even after meeting her I went through ginormous pain and I’m still going through shit. Because of this reason I’ve always felt suicidal. I’m extremely familiar with this feeling and letting…
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Do you see there was nothing between us. The only thing she was doing was asking me to meet like a broken record. And dump her trauma in the restaurant by crossing my boundaries. There was nothing to call it friendship. She didn’t even call back when I said I’m low. The only thing she…
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This is how I was pushing her initially. So that she stops speaking to me. She was overstepping my boundaries, so I kept saying she’s not my friend she’s not my friend with some white lies. I thought if I keep saying “she is not my friend” she will stop speaking to me. I didn’t…
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Dear Diary. Dear Diary. Here I called her because that was the only number on my phone, not because she’s my friend. Do you see the clarity. Dear Diary. Dear Diary.
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Please go back and read my blogs from when Peter Pettigrew and I started speaking. I think it was around feb or march 2024. I have clearly mentioned she is not my friend and I can’t consider her as a friend. I was trying to push her.
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I remember I kept writing here that Peter Pettigrew is not my friend and I can’t consider her as a friend and giving lame reasons on my blog. Please go back and fact check this. I wrote that here so that she understands that we are not friends. That was a white lie I was…
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Can someone please answer me why this is being dragged this way? ….. I’m openly bisexual, it means I’m not ashamed of my sexuality and it also means when I like someone, I openly say it. That’s why I’m out and proud. I’ve already spoken everything about my bisexuality long ago and clarified every single…
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I started biting my lips because of the scrutiny that started 5 months ago. Which is a normal reaction to abnormal torture. I have not done it before that. I don’t know what all lies people have fed to the world. …. I don’t understand what kinda shit this is. People torture me inhumanly and…
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I don’t understand why people are fixated on Peter Pettigrew when I have spoken about so many damn people here. I already cleared everything long ago. Why are people fixated on that creep. And making me repeat the same bloody thing.
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I already spoke the truth on day one when this started 6 months ago that there was nothing between us. I didn’t speak the entire thing to save her job. Peter Pettigrew fed the world lies. The world reacted based on those lies without clarifying with me. Everything I built since 2 years was thrown…
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I have already clarified and proved myself enough. The truth is already in front of everyone. What exactly am I waiting for? Why is this prolonging like this?
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Joey hugging chandler from behind makes sense because they are bestfriends. Peter Pettigrew hugging me from behind was wrong and without my consent. She is not even my friend. She is a creep who was lusting and forcing like a psychopath. It happened without my consent. …. Penny is a fictional character who doesn’t like…
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Please stop tampering my books. I’ll stop reading forever and completely if this continues. Please stop this.
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I don’t know how many times I will be taunted about the same things over and over again through my books. Even though I’ve spoken about and clarified each and every thing. How long will this go on for? I’m a human being. How much can a person take? Even after proving myself enough. Taunting…
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Please stop tampering my books and mentioning, he looked up and down. Over and over again. Even if it is to empathize with me, just don’t. It is quite triggering because of all the sexual assaults that I went through these last 6 months when I’m innocent. Stop dragging this shit so much and making…
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The noise that I made from the movie dostana at the sleepover was highlighted and questioned. That’s why I spoke about what shushma GR did in college while reading smut. Go on question her and watch her every move, like what was done to me. Go on.
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One day I was going through hell and I went to 46 for some alone time. Everyone knew I was going through hell. It wasn’t a secret. This person approached me again, even though I was pushing her. She dumped her trash on me. I was looking down the entire time and I stopped listening,…
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I no longer wish to exist in this reality. I want what I asked for. Please stop dragging this. I’ve had enough. Everyone wants to benefit from me but I’m suffering even after proving myself. I can’t take this any longer. I want what I asked for. Please put an end to this suffering. I…
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I was minding my own business and all these things happened to me. When everything finally worked out for me. And my life got ruined again, because people didn’t handle things better again, even after explaining everything since 2 years. I’ve built my life once again. Atleast now, please put an end to this. No…
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I have never said to anyone that I’m the king or God or any shit like that. I’m not interested in it. I’ve just said that I’m a youtuber, blogger and public figure. When someone psychologically assaults me by gaslighting me. And makes me question my own reality and harass me. When someone undermines by…
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I don’t have money to take care of my basic expenses. I cannot exist in this reality like this anymore. I want what I asked for. Everyone already knows that I’m innocent. I’ve proved myself enough. Please explain to me why I’m waiting like this and what exactly am I waiting for? Can someone please…
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I’ve already proved myself enough. I want what I asked for. I don’t have money to take care of my expenses. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for?
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I still don’t know what exactly is happening, I do have some idea though. But don’t know. Anyway. My Spotify premium subscription is done and I cannot live without it. I don’t have money to take care of my basic expenses. Please give me what I asked for? This is the right time. Goodnight.
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You can be rest assured that I will never hurt anyone intentionally or start anything. So please don’t start shit with me and please don’t make me get even with you. I don’t feel good about it, please don’t make me do it. Please respect my space and boundaries and please let me mind my…
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Note.
I feel the whole point of Instagram is to document my life and stay updated on what’s happening in this world and people I know. Also, Stand up for a cause, address pressing issues, educate myself on stuff and for entertainment. Likes, follow, following, views are irrelevant. I used to obsess about it during covid…
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Note.
Maybe we have time, maybe we don’t. No one knows. I’ve had so many near death experiences these last 2.5 years. I’ve had them my whole life, but these last few years a lot. It made me realise anything can happen at any moment, life is so unpredictable. It made me value and be grateful…
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Note.
Human feelings are flexible. Someone can go from hating you to liking you, with time. Also, from liking you to hating you. And so on. …. So you don’t have to consider it to be the end of the world when someone hates you, because you can always redeem yourself. Anything can be fixed with…
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Quote of the day.
…. “Well, when they stop coming for me, I will stop singing to them …” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “If someone doesn’t want me to tell the truth about them and retaliate, then don’t start shit with me. It’s that simple.” – Harry Potter. ….
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Note.
I feel it all comes down to people feeling they are not heard, loved and validated. That’s why I say, everyone cares and love each other as a fellow human. Just that everyone has their own shit. Even if not the same shit. But definitely a shit. So it’s not possible to go out of…
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Note.
When something unfair happens, there are two types of people. Okay, maybe more than two. Anyway. There are people who think what happened to me was unfair, so I want everyone to be upset too and I don’t want anyone to be happy. These are the people like hitler and the ones who shoot innocent…
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Note.
It’s normal to have intrusive thoughts. We’ll have millions of thoughts in our lifetime, I suppose. Intrusive and not so much. What’s not normal is acting on each and every thought. Some of our thoughts are very temporary, you need to learn the skill of letting them pass by and not act on it. It’s…
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Note.
You can’t blame things on perception and let it go. Because people are bullshiting in front of the world. Everyone who speaks to me knows clearly that I’m innocent. They cross my boundaries because with me they don’t have to face any consequences. When I confront them or when things don’t go their way and…
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Note.
For the record, I like men more than women. Because I’m attracted to only men in real life and I’m straight 95% of the time. I’m rarely bisexual. Even when I am, it’s very temporary. Also, I don’t like all men and women who comes my way. I have standards, which infact is very high.…
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Note.
I don’t see Peter Pettigrew in Arya Stark or Dobby or socks or color grey. I don’t associate these things with her. Because these things don’t apply to her. She will always be a psychopathic creep who ruined my life. Nothing more. We barely spoke and there was absolutely nothing between us for this to…
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Note.
time stamp: 12.23 minutes. Further more proof on the color grey. I had changed the color of my thumbnail background to grey too. The picture of the contacts on my phone was grey too until recently. Later, I changed it. Go on fact check these. I’m not going to stop liking a color because of…
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Note.
Peter Pettigrew was cribbing about her uniform since day 2 and it changed. She was drawing attention to it, so I just looked at her sleeve for a fraction of second to check the colour and complimented and we continued speaking. It was within context of the conversation. I said this clearly on day one…
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Note.
I always say there’s no such thing as a bad book. It’s just right book, wrong time. I’ve read so many books recently that I couldn’t read in the past that I soft DNFed because I was in immense trauma in the past. Or that I returned because the print of the book wasn’t good…
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Note.
Everytime I step out of the bedroom and father comes inside the bedroom, his eyes are always on my body. Either he keeps looking at me or looks at me with the corner of his eyes. After everything that he did my whole life, Whenever he does this, it puts me in immense trauma. My…
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Note.
Voldemort and I were bestfriends since school. We had a strong connection and friendship, till it got toxic. She was my first friend after God. So what happened to me makes sense and also, I loved her a lot platonically. I was extremely angry too. I couldn’t understand anything so I was confused. …. Whatever…
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Note.
There is absolutely nothing wrong if someone is gay or bisexual or anyone in that community. There is nothing wrong if someone likes me. This is a free country. There is absolutely nothing wrong if a staff at a restaurant is friends with the customers. But when someone is not reciprocating and drawing boundaries and…
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Dear Dairy.
4.12AM. Something strange happened last night. I remember I dozed off around 10pm. But there is a text on my phone at 10.44pm to Ginny saying that I miss her. I just woke up and I don’t have any recollection of sending that text. Did I send it in my sleep? I had a dream…
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Note.
Today sister was wearing kerala white saree and black blouse with golden design on it. I looked at her back and asked her where she got it from and mother was staring at her front. It was within context. Do you understand context atleast now? Whatever people were doing to me these last 6 months…
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Note.
I’m so sorry about all this. aaah. I was just so worked up since last 6 months. The enormity of it all. The betrayal and slander and smear campaign and every unimaginable thing possible. Everything came crashing on me and I was a pot holding it in me and it was stewing inside me. And…
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Note.
I meant definition, not defination. (I want the earth to part and fall indefinitely.) I’m going to go now. Thank you for your time.
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Note.
Smooth defination, …. …. I think it’s a good thing to be smooth and I’m overreacting? Aaaah. smh. brb, I’m gonna go jump in the river. Goodnight.
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Note.
I don’t even know what smooth means. I think it’s supposed to be a good thing to be smooth? I’m not even sure.
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Note.
I don’t deserve what I’m going through. I’m innocent and everyone knows this. Please stop doing this. Please stop this atleast now. I’m feeling extremely suicidal. I was minding my own business and this disgusting creepy woman kept forcing herself in my life and when I rejected her, she ruined my life. And I went…
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Note.
Please stop taunting me through books atleast now. I’ve cleared every single thing, so many times. I’m on the verge of quitting reading. I don’t understand how many times do I have to repeat the same things over and over again. Even after clearing and clarifying everything. The way I’m being taunted with the words…
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Note.
Peter Pettigrew is a creepy psychopathic fan. Please stop comparing her to Ginny and I. There was no love reflected in her behaviour and actions. She didn’t love me or any shit like that. Whatever I witnessed isn’t love. Whatever happened to her is because the whole world got to know the truth. No other…
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Note.
I don’t go around calling innocent people who mind their own business ugly, aunty or abuse them. But when someone accuses me of liking their disgusting creepy faces, I will definitely show them a mirror and put them in their place. I request the world to stop hurting me for my reactions atleast now. I…
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Note.
I was sexually assaulted so many damn times these last 6 months. Do you know how beyond traumatic this whole experience was when I’m innocent? I’ve gone through so much pain my whole life and I had to face this when everything worked out for me. The trauma was unimaginable and ginormous. Even after everything…
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Note.
I don’t understand why the world is stuck with Peter Pettigrew and pulling it so much. Even after clarifying and clearing every miniscule damn thing. When I’ve spoken about so many people here. I haven’t done anything that she has accused me of. I’ve cleared my bit. So many times and more than required. Since…
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Note.
I’ve faced more than my fair share of hardships my whole life. I’ve already done the work and climbed that mountain. I’m already successful. Why am I suffering this way without money and away from Ginny, just so the world can benefit from me? What kind of cruelty is this? I cannot exist in this…
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Note.
Stop playing these mind games with me. I’ve had enough of this. I might fall on the floor and die if this continues for a day longer. I don’t have money to take care of my basic expenses. I no longer wish to participate in this BS games. I cannot exist in this reality anymore,…
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Note.
I’ve already proved each and every thing. Everything is cleared now. Every single person in this world knows that I’m innocent. I’ve done so much for this world. Why are people playing these stupid games with me? I’m not going to write anything to add value anymore, till I get what I asked for. I’ve…
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Note.
Can someone please tell me when this is going to end? I’ve already cleared everything. I don’t have money to take care of my basic expenses. Can anyone please answer this? I know everyone are reading this.
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Note.
I’ve cleared every single miniscule thing these last 6 months. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for? This is prolonging for no reason. Why are people stretching this unnecessarily? I’m unable to take care of my expenses. Please put an end to this crap atleast now. I want what I…
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Note.
I haven’t used this joke in recent times, so it must be someone from the past, many years ago. People are just bullshiting and exaggerating their false narratives. And the world is believing this bullshit. That’s the worst part.
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Note.
There’s a scene in two states, where the MMC wears a dhoti and intentionally wears a mickey mouse printed boxer inside because the dhoti is see through. Also, when I was in college I had a dream that my pant fell off in the crowd. I said this to Voldemort or Kishore PC (I don’t…
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Note.
Also, Since new year’s day, I’m unable to stick to being a vegetarian all the time. I’m so depressed and I’ll be like super hungry, And when I see chicken and prawns in front of me, it not only kills my resolve to stay vegetarian but dumps my decision on the floor splattering it all…
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Dear Dairy.
My mental health is deteriorating by existing in this situation. Where I’m already successful, but I’m struggling for my basic needs. On top of this, The full weight of what happened since August is hitting me hard. I was so busy fighting relentlessly since it started, that I didn’t feel my feelings completely and sit…
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Note.
I don’t have money to take care of my expenses. Buy shampoo, take up therapy or anything. Please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for? This is the right time to give me what I asked for.
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Note.
What happened to me is not called as retaliation. It was a monstrous barbaric act for my retaliations. It happened based on someone else’s manipulations, lies, evil, jealousy and what not. What happened to me cannot be justified. So please don’t turn it around and call it retaliations. I want injustice to be answered with…
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Note.
Please torture Peter Pettigrew for 6 months, every single day. Asking her why she looked at my thighs for 5 full seconds with a creepy disgusting expression on her face. …. I have already cleared the innocent incident that was within context. …. Thank you. ….
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Note.
Perfect man told me I don’t have any talent to do youtube and be an influencer because I’m not perfect and I’m a failure. This is also one of the reasons he broke up with me. After my videos went viral, he texted me speaking about my YouTube and tried to rekindle. I sent him…
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Note.
Perfect man broke up with me because I’m not perfect to look at and also my personality is not perfect. He said to me that he doesn’t feel like we are dating and that I’m like his bestfriend. That’s why he didn’t want to be with me. You want to know the funny thing? The…
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Note.
The guy I was dating before Ginny, The perfect man. He likes Japan too. So we planned to visit Japan. I kept telling him how much I love the cherry blossoms trees and how badly I want to see it and also, the temples and eat sushi. I also kept saying I want to go…
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Note.
Peter and I barely spoke. I haven’t shared anything with her. The only thing I say to her is about the trees, coffee, my laptop broke, the weather. I don’t say anything at all. She keeps dumping her trauma and I kept saying speak to your manager, speak in team meeting. That’s all. We barely…
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Note.
After I deleted Peter Pettigrew’s number, when I went to 46. I was listening to music and reading. I saw her approaching but I didn’t remove my headphones. I was being clear that I’m not interested. She just stood there looking at me and forced me to remove my headphones. I said hi and continued…
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Note.
My friend rohit and my therapist used to send me hearts and hearts my messages. I would tell them I love them. We had a good rapport and connection. I have said I love you to all my friends till 2 years ago with Dhruv. All my friends say it back to me too. All…
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Note.
Every time I add someone’s number and every time I change my display picture. My friends in the past compliment me. I’ve had a lot of female friends. I’ve been extremely social. This is the basic code that we follow. We always hype each other up when we post pictures or change display picture. I…
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Note.
I don’t know what are the text messages that people are holding against me as an evidence to their false narratives. You need to place it on the table. I don’t remember or keep texts. So I don’t know what exactly this is. Btw, I’m a terrible texter. I’m not good at it. I used…
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Quote of the day.
…. ” Oh, let the bullets fly, oh, let them rain My life, my love, my drive, it came from… Pain! “ – Imagine Dragons. ….
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Note.
This is prolonging for no reason everyone knows this. The truth is already in front of the whole world. People are trying to dig false dirt and picking at breadcrumbs right now. That’s why they are scavaging my past like a vulture desperately. This needs to end ASAP because it’s pointless and everyone clearly knows…
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Note.
Sometimes, I don’t even know what’s meant for me and what’s not. Because of this special way that people speak to me and tampering my books so badly. You need to be clear and start speaking directly about whatever it is. Because I’m literally losing it.
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Note.
Whatever I’ve said and clarified here is based on what I have understood from the content I see online and books. This is being pulled for no reason. You need to scrutinize and question the people in question, not me. Because I cleared my part long ago.
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Note.
She can’t approach me because I’m a familiar face. I was a customer. Also, I was being clear that I’m not interested and saying a clear no and setting boundaries. It isn’t a college party for her to approach me because I’m familiar face. She has no right to lust on me and dump on…
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Note.
There was nothing from my end. I’ve cleared every single miniscule thing. She was the one with the creepy feelings and projecting and forcing. I’ve cleared my part. Please leave me alone. Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I have to face this scrutiny. When I have already spoken about everything multiple times and cleared…
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Note.
I’ve spoken about everything and even cleared and proved it. Why are people dragging this shit so badly? This needs to stop. I’m done with this.
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Note.
I’m sweet, kind and empathetic to everyone I speak to. Like how I am on my YouTube. I have a charming and golden retriever personality and everyone always likes me, it’s not my fault. There is nothing special about Peter Pettigrew or anyone else I speak to casually. I never get attached when it’s casual…
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Note.
A YouTuber that I watch regularly loves matcha tea, Sara Carolli. So I was searching for it in Bangalore. It’s there in third wave and they added it in the menu at 46 as well. I remember that I kept saying it in my vlogs. You can fact check in my vlogs. Since I was…
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Note.
Even after whatever she did and after she attacked me, I didn’t carry any animosity within me and tried my best to save her. But after what happened to me and what she did to me. I don’t fucking care anymore. So I have said everything and the truth is in front of the world…
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Note.
If it’s your boyfriend or bestfriend, if you ask them to meet constantly. It makes sense and it’s quite normal. …. But with a stranger, constantly harassing me and forcing me to meet every single time I went there. No matter how many times I was pushing her. That’s pathalogical. She was forcing so much,…
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Note.
One day when I went to 46, I was looking around for a place to sit and Perer Pettigrew hugged me from behind and said, are you searching for me? I moved away and said, no I’m searching for a place to sit. I was extremely clear by my words and actions. I was constantly…
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Note.
I have been speaking continuously about this disgusting creepy woman since August. This creep is not my friend. We were never friends. We barely even spoke. She was constantly forcing like a flesh eating vulture. I don’t understand why this particular thing is being pulled more than necessary and analyzed this way. When I clearly…
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Note.
I don’t know why people are changing the story in the books I read, according to whatever is happening in my life. I have clearly expressed many times not to tamper my books this way to taunt me. I have clearly spoken about everything that happened with everyone and cleared every single thing. My reading…
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Note.
I don’t really speak the truth about people unless they spread false accusations and slander about me to the world first. I usually tend to stay quiet about everyone’s behaviour. Last year, When Dhruv used “fingering” word. I shouted at him and stopped speaking to him. Later he messaged saying he is sorry and he…
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Note.
I was being tortured inhumanly at home and outside. My mind was extremely fucked and scrutinized. I was on the verge of dying numerous times while writing here and doing YouTube. Even while texting. So I made typos, yes. I’ve spoken about each and every thing. I have given all possible proofs. Everything is over…
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Note.
The truth is already out with valid and legit proofs. People are just bullshiting. I no longer wish to entertain this. This needs to end.
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Note.
When you are creating false realities around me to check if I look at women, obviously I’ll be able to sense that something is not right and behave erratic because I’m a naturally anxious person and observe what’s going on. My intuition is my sixth sense. I’m good at reading the room and people, even…
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Note.
Every time I step out, so many people stare at me. Some of them even turn their heads to look at me. Like so many. They keep looking at me. I know they are doing it because I’m famous and it is within context. I don’t place sexual meaning behind it because my mind is…
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Note.
Just like how a straight woman does not like every man whom she sees and speaks to. Bisexual and gay women do not like every woman she speaks to and sees. I have my types, likes and standards. With men and women. I have rejected so many good looking, wealthy, hot men and women because…
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Note.
During a fashion show, everyone sits around the ramp and look at the model’s clothes (body). They are looking at the clothes, which is within context. …. Where as in a strip club, they sit around the strippers to look at their body. Do you see how the context changes? …. When everyone around you…
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Note.
Lockhart said to me on our first date. “I don’t bite, unless you’re into that.” I don’t know why the exact same thing is written on my book. I don’t remember if I repeated it back to him or not. But yeah, he said that. Not me. I have a habit of repeating things people…
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Note.
She was over stepping my boundary since day one and forcing the friendship. The only thing I did was, ask her to take my picture on the first day. She immediately called me really hot, started lusting and started dumping and forcing like a psychotic piranha. She asked me to go to her house on…
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Note.
I’m openly bisexual. I’m not ashamed of my sexuality, I’m out and proud. When I like someone, man or woman, I directly tell them and literally everyone knows about it. Also, I know the basic etiquette and mannerism. People are bullshiting and using my bisexuality against me. Voldemort started the BS and paved the way…
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Note.
There was absolutely nothing between us. There was no undying affection or any shit. She was taking advantage of my kindness and empathy and eating me alive like a piranha. No matter how many times I was pushing her. And using me as trash to dump her trauma. Hurting me and being sadistic for not…
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Note.
She thought I’ll die and the truth will never come out. Not just her, Lucius, Voldemort, Bellatrix and other death eaters. They started the fire and thought, that’s it. I’ll die. But no, You can’t destroy a person with God’s presence. I want each and every pain that was inflicted on me to hit the…
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Note.
I’ve cleared every single thing. You need to understand atleast now that people are bullshiting in front of the world. There’s literally nothing left to say. The truth is already in front of the world. For now people are just trying to dig false dirt or picking at false breadcrumbs. It’s literally of no use.…
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Note.
After I complained to Peter Pettigrew’s manager, She reached out to me and said sorry and she admitted that she’s wrong and she’ll lose her job if her manager gets to know the truth. But instead of telling the truth to her manager, she lied so badly and put the blame on me. Later, faked…
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Note.
Every single time I step outside the bedroom or father comes inside the bedroom. He stares at me. It’s making me extremely uncomfortable. He has stared at my body my entire adult life. He really did sexually assault me and whatever the reason he continued doing it, the trauma that I went through because of…
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Note.
I got a whatsapp message from Apollo hospital asking for feedback when I have not visited apollo hospital in ages. Wishing me a “smooth” recovery. Does someone want to explain why I’m being taunted even now unnecessarily? Even after proving myself?
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Note.
Since I’ve cleared every single thing. I request people to stop attacking me through books at least now. Please stop hurting me for my reactions and over using the word smooth. Or anything of these sorts. Please stop hurting me online and even in my surroundings. Whatever has happened has happened and cannot be taken…
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Note.
I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the consequences of what they did. I’m teaching people how to treat me. I’m fighting for my respect and convention. I don’t want anyone to think that it’s okay to cross my boundaries ever again. I want people to clearly understand that there…
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Note.
Note. When I said, there should be someone telling you you can’t do something because, I feel, there should be little friction when you are doing something. Otherwise, it can get dull and there won’t be anyone to challenge you. Like, how badly do you want it? Like you know you can do it and…
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Note.
Stop making father and niece to stare at my body. Making my niece to say and do things. It’s extremely traumatic. Before there was immense bullshit and misunderstandings that were created, understandable. But now, I have spoken about everything and cleared and also, proved it. So all this is not right in any sense. I’ve…
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Note.
When people blame me for liking their disgusting creepy faces, When I clearly don’t, Because they are bitter or jealous or whatever the reason might be. That’s when I call them ugly and show them a mirror. I don’t go around calling innocent people who mind their own business ugly, like how people in my…
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Note.
If you ask me, There should be someone in your life telling you that, you can’t do it when you try something. Someone who laughs at you and maybe even call you cringe and ugly. It might feel like the end of the world when it happens. But it’s all about how you see and…
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Note.
I have a habit of always looking down. So I don’t remember if I looked down after I looked at her sleeve. I was not even interested in the conversation, so I don’t remember everything exactly. But I did not stare at her. She was drawing attention to it, so I looked for a fraction…
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Note.
Stop playing these stupid mind games. I’ve already spoken about everything and cleared every single thing. I see through this BS clearly. And I refuse to react. Everyone already knows that I’m innocent. This is prolonging for no reason whatsoever. My sense of self is clear. I’m lowkey irritated but yeah love and truth prevails.…
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Note.
I don’t have money to take care of my expenses. Can someone please explain to me what exactly I’m waiting for? I want what I asked for. Why am I begging like this for my own money?
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Note.
She was the one who was lusting on me and with creepy feelings. She is projecting it onto me. There was nothing from my end. Just because I’m openly bisexual doesn’t mean I’m interested in every tom dick and harry. I have standards, types and preferences when it comes to my romantic likings. I don’t…
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Note.
It’s when people look at your body without context, with a creepy weird expression on their face, it’s called as staring, FYI. Like how Dhruv and some women and most men look at my body when I go out. …. I’m not attracted to women in real life, I’ve already established this fact. I’ve already…
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Note.
Every time Draco meets me, her eyes are always on my top (chest) and she compliments my top. Since I said she is bisexual as well. Go on sexually assault her and torture her for staring at my chest. Why are people not doing that? Why is okay when Draco, mother sister and every one…
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Note.
I will be saying this for the absolute last time. I did not look at her from top to bottom. She was drawing attention to her uniform. She was speaking about it since day 2. She was constantly cribbing like a psychopath about her uniform. I was barely interested in her uniform. I barely interested…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself enough. Everyone in this world clearly knows that I’m innocent. Please for the love of God stop taunting and triggering me through books. Stop over using the word “smooth” and hurting me for my reactions etc. I’m losing the interest to read and that’s one thing that I like doing. If…
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Note.
Please stop taunting me through books by over using the word “smooth”. I don’t understand why this would prolong any further. I’m losing the interest to read. After everything that I’ve been through, I don’t deserve this. Everything is cleared. So please stop this. …. This is the right time to give me what I…
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Note.
My shampoo and medicine is almost over. Coffee powder and dry fruits that I eat every day are over. I don’t have money to renew my Netflix and YouTube premium. Please give me what I asked for. This is the right time.
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Note.
I have a feeling everyone read my diary that I used to write during childhood. I remember listening to bits of it in the audiobook. I don’t know how and from where? I remember tearing and throwing the diary. I remember giving one of my diary to voldemort as well. I don’t know when all…
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Quote of the day.
…. “And I keep my side of the street clean You wouldn’t know what I mean” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “Ask me what I learned from all those years Ask me what I earned from all those tears Ask me why so many fade, but I’m still here” – Taylor Swift✨ ….
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Note.
Everyone who speaks to me likes me, but I don’t. It is not my fault and I’m not to blame for this. I’ve been extremely clear about whom I like. Like painfully clear. There is nothing wrong if someone likes me but when I’m drawing a boundary and saying no. They should respect that boundary.…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything and proved myself. Please stop tampering my books to taunt and trigger me at least now. This needs to stop. I’m losing interest to read. In reality the truth about Cassandra is that, When the truth comes out, the world calls her smooth. I’m not okay. Please stop this atleast…
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Note.
Just because I was alone and I was regular to that restaurant, it is not an invitation to encroach my space and boundaries. I wasn’t going there to meet them. I don’t even think about them, when I go there. I’m always sweet to everyone and keep it casual. They started misbehaving with me, so…
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Note.
I have not love bombed anyone till date. I’m always the same. I was constantly drawing a clear non verbal boundary and saying a clear non verbal no. I don’t dismiss or disrespect anyone when they approach me. Since I was being clear that I’m not interested to engage, she was supposed to stay away.…
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Note.
I’m going to say this for the absolute last time. I have not made any false promises to anyone. Period. I deleted that person’s number and declined her invitation few times and said a clear non verbal no and boundary. But Peter Pettigrew kept encroaching my boundary and space and kept forcing me to meet…
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Quote of the day.
…. “ ‘Til the referee rings the bell’ Til both ya eyes start to swell’ Til the crowd goes home What we gon’ do kid? “ – Gym class heroes, Ryan Tedder. …. “I swear I meant to mean the best when it ended Even tried to bite my tongue when you start shit” –…
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Note.
If this continues any further, I might fall on the road and die. I’m unable to hold on. I’ve been feeling suicidal since a week. I feeling extremely weak. My head hurts sometimes. I don’t have any energy left. I don’t really feel good. Please stop testing me and please stop prolonging this.
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Note.
I want even the monster at social to face the consequences of what she did to me. Don’t forget the monsterous psychopath ance jose at Askaban. I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the consequences of what they did.
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Note.
Everytime Amit comes to Visit India, whenever Jane goes to take bath, Amit watches through the key hole. Amit is Jane’s cousin and the same guy who sexually assaulted me. Their whole family is disgusting. They tortured mother and sister so badly and treated us like shit. They had this false superiority and they used…
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Note.
I’ve already addressed and spoken about every single thing. You need to understand atleast now that people are bullshiting in front of the world, that’s all that’s happening right now. They are bitter and jealous. Everything that happened to me was because of this reason and because I was helpless in the past. Please stop…
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Note.
I request people once again, to please stop tampering my books to taunt and trigger me. Please stop attacking me through books. You are making me lose interest to read. And that’s one thing I actually like. …. I have absolutely no money left in my account. I cannot do anything anymore. I’m already depressed…
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Note.
I don’t understand why people are still controlling my surroundings and doing all this shit. I’ve already spoken about everything. Also, proved myself. This needs to stop. ….. I spoke about Shushma GR making creepy and weird sexual noises in college and Draco, mohit and Saurabh ogling at women and going behind them at office…
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Note.
I’ve never sat with my legs wide open till date. Sister is the one who used to sit like that, when she was living with us. No matter how matter how many times I ask her to close her legs and sit. She used to never listen. …. I don’t remember any of the messages/voice…
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Note.
I know I sound a bit mean. But I have to be stern while setting boundaries, considering what happened few months ago. It is for my peace of mind, sanity and also, it can save my life. So I’m not sorry, even if sorry is at the tip of my tongue because I don’t like…
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Note.
Everyone in my community are like my friends, but I can only do it from a distance. On a personal front, it’s totally different. Please be mindful about this. Everything is over and done. I’ve proved myself enough and everyone in this world already knows I’m innocent and sane. I might be schizophrenic, I wouldn’t…
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Note.
I’ve said this a million times since I started writing here, but I’m going to say it again. Because people don’t seem to learn from their mistakes or even listen. I’m an ally. I always mean well. I never start anything or hurt anyone intentionally. But I have my limitations and problems, I’m not like…
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Note.
I don’t seduce anyone. Everyone who speaks to me likes me because I’m sweet, good and empathetic. Just like everyone else who is good. But people do whatever the fuck they want with me and overstep my boundaries and encroach my space. Because with me, they don’t have to face any consequences. They just have…
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Note.
Whoever is dragging this BS by controlling my content and surrounding, Is doing it just to get a reaction out of me. And I refuse to react. I’ve already proved myself more than enough. With valid and legit proofs. Every single person in this world knows I’m innocent. So please go fuck with someone else.…
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Note.
I don’t call or find anyone ugly. That’s not me. But when someone talks or starts shit, I do. I do get even and put them in their place when they jump. so yeah, disclaimer. ….
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Note.
The female ENT doctor whom I went to in Kauvery Hospital when I got tonsils initially, While speaking to her, she gently tapped my cheek with her index finger like a feather. She did it playfully when I mentioned something. I don’t exactly remember what we were speaking. That’s where I got that habit. I…
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Note.
You know that feeling when you call customer support because your product is broken. And they place you on hold and there is this terrible hold music playing while you wait for a resolution. That’s my life right now. Content will follow after I get what I asked for. Because I’m well aware what I’m…
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Note.
You can fact check my etsy messages with seller to confirm the “xx” Also, hearts everyone I speak to sends me on messages. Even my therapist and rohit too. Like everyone. Hearting my messages literally everyone does it. There is nothing weird about it. People who are insinuating innocent friendly messages are the ones with…
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Note.
Dhruv has called me fucking hot more than 5 times and he called me MILF couple of times. He is cheap and disgusting. The only thing I’ve done is compliment his clothes.
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Note.
Exhibit A. The hotness level, luxury cars, character and bank balance of men and women I’ve rejected. Exhibit B. Face of Dhruv chutiya Jain (aka deranged hyena) Faces of uncle and aunties who are jumping. …. Even the person whom I bought the tshirt from etsy sent me “xx” it’s casually used by everyone, FYI.…
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Note.
I’m not going to write, watch or read anything. I’m not going to write even on my notes. I’m going to do absolutely nothing in my room henceforth. I have no money to do anything as well. So this is a goodbye, till I get what I want. Thank you.
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Note.
I know the impact that I have, I’m not stupid. I’m the one making the positive changes all around the world. It’s because of me India is getting all the attention. I know clearly that everyone knows I’m innocent too. The person who is controlling my content is troubling me intentionally for content generation purposes.…
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Note.
Everything was proved long ago. This is prolonging just to benefit out of me and this needs to stop. It is beyond cruel. I want what I asked for. Please stop playing mind games.
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Note.
What exactly are people who are controlling my content trying to do online? Everything is over. Please move on. Stop trying to play these stupid mind games every single day and keeping the drama going for absolutely no reason. Stop this nonsense. Everyone knows I’m innocent and the truth is out and proved. Stop fucking…
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Note.
I don’t understand how long will people pull this for. I’ve already proved myself. This needs to stop. Also, I want what I asked for. How long should I wait this way?
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Note.
Dumbledore did fuck up. Father did sexually assault me. Everything else that people did is true 100%. Now that the truth is out. People are trying to save their ass and turning tables to clear their tracks. I know what exactly happened now because the puzzle is solved. Dumbledore’s fuck up saved my life and…
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Note.
The weather has changed and it’s getting warmer. So I have to start wearing shorts again. I’m okay as long as I’m inside my room. But I go into trauma every time I step out of the room because father will stare at me like a ruthless vulture. Like he has done my entire adult…
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Note.
I feel rejection is so important in dating or anything in life where you try something. It really puts things in perspective. And that’s what makes winning worth while and valuable. It’s how you take rejection that matters. You should see it as a challenge to grow and improve. You should have a never give…
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Note.
I meant, sparring of words. Not sparing of words. I think you might have already figured. Anyway, Goodnight. 🌙
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Note.
Ginny likes third wave cafe, that’s why I was going there frequently. Everything was her. …. Also, If something is bothering you, you should process it and speak up. If it doesn’t, then you can let it slide. This is what I meant by pick your battles. Not everything requires going into war and sparing…
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Note.
I was mute in the past and I didn’t know to speak. And since I was being tortured continuously, I was lost and would have had a blank expression. That’s all there was to this. And Voldemort came into the picture and destroyed my life because of jealousy. Please do a social experiment and find…
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Note.
Shushma GR the girl who was bullying me with Rashmi in college was so fucking sex obsessed. She hates reading books and never reads them. But she loves smut so much. She would pester Rashmi to give her books with page numbers of smut scenes. She used to read only that in college with a…
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Note.
The lady to whom psycho divorcee sold the house which is next to the lake infected by snakes please come forward. He confessed to me that no one was buying that property so he lied to you to sell it.
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Note.
I don’t know why people are keeping the drama going like this. This needs to stop. This is beyond ridiculous. I’ve already spoken about everything and everyone already knows the truth and that I’m innocent. Stop playing these stupid mind games and troubling me intentionally. I’ve spoken about everything already. I don’t wish to repeat…
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Note.
This has reached a point where it’s become more than too much to take. I’ve been feeling extremely suicidal since last couple of days. I cannot take this any further. People should understand when to stop because it’s reached beyond the threshold years and years ago. I’ve never looked at anyone’s body that way because…
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Note.
When I stepped out of the bedroom today, father’s eyes was on my body till I reached the door. He did it two times. I’m tired of speaking about it and waiting this way. I’m tired of suffering like this. I don’t understand what exactly I’m waiting for.
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Note.
I’m not interested in playing these stupid mind games. I’m not falling for this BS nor do I have the energy to play. Everyone knows I’m innocent and the truth. I want what I asked for. The game is over. People should understand when to stop.
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Note.
I don’t have money to take care of my expenses or even to buy medicine. Please give me what I asked for. I don’t understand what exactly I’m waiting for? Being in this situation, this double life is beyond torturing. Please put an end to this. I’ve done everything to prove myself and get out…
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Note.
My whole life the world has been continuously hurting me for my reactions without asking my side of the story. You don’t have any idea how much pain and trauma this has caused me. I have let it go because it was a misunderstanding. But since the truth is out now and I’ve cleared the…
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Note.
People hurt me and when I react, the world hurts me again. What the fuck is even that? Is the world expecting me to stay silent when someone hurts me? I never start anything btw. This inhuman BS has been going on my whole fucking life. The only thing I’ll be doing is react and…
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Note.
I told my mother she is slightly not right in the head because she has been hurting me since childhood. And two days ago she gaslighted me badly. She caused psychological pain and put on a theatrics and made condescending noises. Hence I said that. So why is the same thing written in my book…
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Quote of the day.
….. ” And you throw your head back laughing Like a little kid I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny, ’cause He never did. But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again.” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “Cause I don’t care when I’m with my baby, yeah All the bad…
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Note.
Someone not wanting to be your friend or be in a relationship with you, isn’t betrayal. Betrayal cuts deeper than that. As I mentioned previously, Everyone isn’t for everyone and you are not going to like everyone whom you speak to. The person you speak to is a totally different individual with different mind and…
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Note.
Sorry I’m not accusing anyone. I don’t know what’s happening and so many things are happening and happened intentionally. It’s a little difficult to trust. Just let it be. I don’t really know what happened.
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Note.
I got up today and I have dark pigmentation at the edge of both sides of my mouth. The only thing I wear is sunscreen, moisturizer and lip balm. I don’t know how it happened. So many things have happened to me intentionally, I don’t trust blindly anymore. I’m doubting whether it was intentional or…
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Quote of the day.
…. ” I was born at Dragonstone. Not that I can remember it. I spent my life in foreign lands. So many men have tried to kill me, I don’t remember all their names. I have been sold like a broodmare. I’ve been chained and betrayed, raped and defiled. Do you know what kept me…
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Note.
I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so I couldn’t see Ginny’s face clearly when I was getting into her car for the first time. That’s why I said, the first time I saw her she was laughing. Because the technical first time her face was blur. Just clarifying. Even if no one asked. …. Also, When…
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Note.
Also, I don’t really complain against weak people. Weak as in, people who can’t stand up or speak for themselves. Because I was like that in the past. So I always respect and care. I usually keep quiet when they do something. But now, after what happened I’m scared. So I think I should speak…
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Note.
Also, I complained because I was sexually assaulted. That was the threshold. I kept quiet till then, even though she was constantly harassing me and disrespecting me. I called her for clarification before complaining. Even when I complained, I didn’t say the whole truth because I didn’t want her to loose her job. I helped…
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Note.
No one really gives me gifts. It’s so rare. My sister gave me a rose gold watch few years ago and that’s like the only gift that I really like. I don’t celebrate my birthdays too. So yeah. It’s really awkward when it happens because I’m not used to it. I don’t even enjoy thinking…
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Note.
Also, I didn’t really have much problem with Peter Pettigrew initially. I was trying my best to cut her off without hurting her. I was also trying my best to help because I help everyone and I love helping. You can go back and read. I opened up about the entire truth only after I…
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Note.
I’m saying this based on what I saw online. ….. I don’t really hit my neices. They are like my own children. Whatever I did with Aaru is playing. I pretend like I’m hitting and lightly nudge her and she also does the same and we start playing. She knows I’m playing. Also, I play…
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Note.
When someone says something couple of times. In the past, I had a habit of repeating it even if I don’t mean or feel it. Just like how toddlers do. It was because my mind was not completely developed. I still get scared because of what I was doing in the past even if I…
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Note.
Also, I feel so bad for confronting mother yesterday. I had decided not to pick a fight with them and avoid conflicts at all costs. But I get so irritated sometimes and talking to her makes it so much worser. The condescending noises that she makes and her words. I want to go far away…
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Dear Diary.
1.04AM. I’ve been awake since an hour because there is a stupid mosquito in my room, troubling me. So I switched on my fairy lights and I’ve been laying on the bed awake with my mind wandering. I remembered the first Australian customer I spoke to at Askaban. I read a quote somewhere which goes…
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Note.
Can someone please explain to me why I’m begging like this every single day for my own money? And why I’m suffering this way unnecessarily? And why the fuck am I picking at breadcrumbs when the truth is in front of the world and I’ve already proved myself? I’m the one who is making the…
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Note.
Mother was creating unnecessary drama and putting on a show because my delivery came today. She keeps saying we don’t have money etc and puts on theatrics even though she clearly knows what’s happening in this world. When I confronted her, she started disrespecting me and making condescending noises. I gave it back too. I’ve…
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Note.
Shruti removes her tshirt in front of her guy friends. She removes her jeans and walks around without wearing pant in front of group of her guy friends. She literally jumps on men and confessess love for almost every single person she meets and flirts with each one of them. She is literally so sex…
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Note.
You can check the date when we met at the theatre at MG road. The date when Bellatrix started renting the house at Kumar swami layout. And the date of the uber/ola that we took to her house. Please fact check all these information. Bellatrix texts and talks to a lot of women about really…
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Note.
After I met Bellatrix 2-3 times in the theatre in MG road. She was living in PG but immediately took a house for rent. She begged me for one month continuously to go to her house. No matter how much I said no. She promised she will only kiss me and nothing else. She started…
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Note.
Peter Pettigrew didn’t attack me because of insecurities about her father. She was jealous that I was no longer a failure and she wanted an upper hand in the conversation. I saw it clearly on her face. She knew exactly what she was doing. Also, she knows english well enough. She is not groot. She…
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Note.
In Askaban shruti used to eat idli by dipping it in a bowl full of sambar. So one day I joked idli is skinny dipping in sambar and laughed, I had watched it in a movie recently. It was supposed to be funny. I make jokes like this like all the time. Anyone who knows…
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Note.
I want even the dentists to face the consequences of what they did to me. It was extremely unethical. Even the reality TV people. They caused immense psychological pain and pressure for entertainment purposes. They put mud on my name. Each and every person who spread false accusations and defamation. I want each every person…
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Quote of the day.
….. Give ’em hell, turn their heads Gonna live life ’til we’re dead Give me scars, give me pain Then they’ll say to me, say to me, say to me There goes a fighter (oh) There goes a fighter (oh) Here comes a fighter (oh) That’s what they’ll say to me, say to me Say…
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Note.
My money is over. I’m literally so fed up of sitting at home since last couple of days. I need some change in atmosphere every now and then, otherwise I start feeling suffocated. Please give me what I asked for, I’m fed up of waiting this way.
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Note.
Creativity and ideas are better when it is collaborative. Like, when I talk about an idea to the world. Everyone takes what works for them and adds different dimensions and layers to it with their own individuality. It literally wonderful how it works. That’s what makes it better and so much more good. I’m okay…
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Note.
I’ve been stuck with a refund case in zivame app since starting of November. Can someone please look into it and resolve it? I don’t understand what’s going on?
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Note.
I do understand why everyone are calling me Jesus and God. But please don’t do that. I’m literally not God. I’ve had a different life, so I’m little different that’s all. I’m glad I was able to help. But please stop being stupid. I don’t know what my life has become, tbh. I’m not interested…
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Note.
I was trying to reduce the doze of my medicine 4 days ago and I’ve been getting these headaches, so I went back to the previous doze. Because of this I’ve been having mental health days these last 4 days. I’ve been unable to function, so the only thing I did was listen to music,…
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Note.
Big basket called me today 3 times to ask where I live when everyone in this world clearly knows where I live. I honestly don’t know what exactly is happening and what’s going on. I have just 1k left in my account and I have no money to take care of my expenses. Please tell…
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Note.
Peter Pettigrew doesn’t care or love me. She doesn’t care about building a friendship with me or how she treats me. She doesn’t care about respecting me as a person. She did everything I said that she did. She just wanted attention. Even if she is broken now or whatever happened to her, it’s because…
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Note.
It’s not that nobody cares. Everyone does care and love. Just that we all have our limitations and own problems and messy life. Sometimes we are so consumed by it, we don’t realise certain things. So we should learn to not have any crazy unreasonable expectations from everyone. People do care but be mindful that…
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Note.
When I say keep it casual while socialising, You can also imagine it like being in college. In college, we have our own group of close circle whom we love unconditionally. But we also socialise with others and say hi and talk casually. Share whatever we are comfortable sharing. We care and love about everyone…
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Note.
Spoiler Alert. Every single person you speak to will eventually hurt you. Problems are always going to come up no matter what. You can’t avoid it. When you get close to someone, conflicts, misunderstandings, fights, betrayal, etc is a default. It’s a part and parcel. No matter how much you wish life would be like…
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Note.
I remember I ordered dead romantics and seven years slip from Amazon and returned it because the print wasn’t good and I didn’t like the quality of the book. It happens with Amazon sometimes. Later, I forgot about the whole thing. I don’t know if people are hyping up that book because I returned it.…
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Note.
For example, A gardener is well versed and a pro in his garden and is educated on plants and stuff. A chef is a pro in the kitchen and well educated on cooking. A vegetable vendor is pro and well educated on the vegetables he sells and stuff relating to it. An IT engineer is…
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Note.
If someone introduces a new gadget or app or technology tomorrow. We will have hundreds of questions regarding it, we will most definitely make mistakes while interacting with it and we might even reject the idea. Until we are educated on that particular thing. It’s the same for our parents. They are from a different…
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Note.
I live with my family, so I’m not really alone. Even if we don’t talk most times, their presence is always there in the house. I play with my nieces whenever I have the energy and stamina. Otherwise I’m mostly in my room recharging, music or doing something. When I feel like it’s getting heavy…
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Note.
Most of the time, I’m thinking about Ginny or a book I read, movie I watched, songs, ideas or solving something in my head. Sometimes I remember someone close to me and miss them. Sometimes I remember something that happened and cry. Sometimes I’m lowkey angry. And other emotions too. These are my priorities and…
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Note.
I don’t want to be a fucking damsel in distress or a delicate flimsy princess. I’m a fighter and a warrior with fire in her eyes. Never a victim. Even if I am, I won’t play the victim card. I’m always either a misunderstood villain or hero. …. I used to cry when Ginny met…
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Note.
See everyone has intrusive thoughts. When someone betrays me. I feel like pushing them from the edge of the cliff. No matter how appealing that thought feels, I won’t do it. When I was raped and assualted sexually, I felt like stabbing them sometimes. I did think about it but I won’t act on it.…
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Note.
Also, I don’t want any princess and queen treatment from my partner. Like opening the door for me and pulling my chair to sit and showering me with gifts and roses etc. No. I’d rather my partner laughs and jokes when I fall down or hit my head. Call me bitch, not in a bad…
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Note.
The world is focusing and being carried away so much by feminism and patriarchy. That we are forgetting men’s rights. I’m not saying we should not focus on it, because we should. But not all men are bad. Also, Not all women are good. Sometimes we tend to get carried away so much that, we…
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Note.
When one man rapes or kills or does anything of this sort. Or a group. We don’t blame all men and stereotype them. Because all men aren’t bad. When one woman is a bitch, doesn’t mean all women are. Same way, When one person who is bisexual, gay, trans or in that community does something…
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Note.
I know my father had anger issues in the past and mother was broken. Whatever happened in the past was because of our life in poverty and driven by misunderstandings. Also, we were under scrutiny because we were in the public eye. Now they have changed and come a long way. They are trying. My…
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Note.
When I love someone. I fight for that relationship. I have realised that it’s not easy to find that kinda connection with everyone. It’s very rare. I dated so many men after Ginny and it never felt right. Even when I kissed them and stuff, it just didn’t feel right. Even when some of them…
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Note.
Whatever I said in my previous blogs is how I have been thinking in the past. Don’t follow everything I say blindly. You should learn to take what helps and leave the rest. I keep changing and growing. So the way I think might change too. It’s not written in stone. It’s true and holds…
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Note.
Billions of people in this world. You are going to meet so many people in your lifetime. Like so many. Don’t break your head for casual temporary people. Unless there is something meaningful there, learn to keep it casual. Meaning, don’t get attached. If you can learn the art of keeping it casual, it can…
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Note.
The world dehumanise me and call me cat which was a reaction to abnormal torture and even dog. And I’m not allowed to call people who abused me befitting names like vulture, bull, buffalo, psychopath etc? Hypocrite much?
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Note.
Listening to my angry playlist when I’m lowkey angry helps because it hits the right spots and validates my feelings. It’s healing and relaxes me. This is better than pushing people from the edge of the cliff, I would never do that. But you know what I mean. If it gets too much, I send…
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Note.
My abuse, anger and retaliations are justified and normal. And just 20% or less of what I faced. I don’t understand why people are hurting me even now every time I speak up. I didn’t start it. So why am I being hurt for speaking back and self defence? Am I supposed to silently take…
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Note.
I didn’t know people wanted me dead in the past, each time that it happened. I was kinda minding my own business and in my own zone and world. No one said anything to me and nothing really made sense. I didn’t understand a lot of things. I knew things and I didn’t know things…
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Note.
I don’t have a dangerous anger. I was pushed way beyond the point of what a human being can endure my whole life. So I reacted, yes. I was tortured inhumanly in all forms, so I behaved crazy. Which is a normal reaction to what happened, yes.
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Note.
Just because I’m not interested in engaging with, creepy psychopathic mentally unstable sociopathic forceful fame and attention fucking blood sucking flesh eating abusive vultures and energy vampires. Doesn’t make me a lone wolf and doesn’t mean I’m better off staying single. FYI to the person managing news on my google news page. Also for the…
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Note.
It’s because of this false reality and double life that I’m in. People are taking advantage of it, my helplessness and my past misunderstandings. And using it for their advantage and also, to bring me down out of jealousy or bitterness. Please don’t believe anything you hear about me, Unless I say it. After the…
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Note.
I don’t know if someone called me a possessive jealous ex. I saw eyes emoji next to it. If it’s meant for me, if you tell me who said this, I would be able to give more clarity. …. (Trigger warning) Also, I brush my teeth everyday since childhood. As I mentioned previously, I used…
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Note.
I had anxiety few days ago and I mindlessly removed songs from my playlists. I was doing it mindlessly. I wasn’t paying attention. I tend to open random apps and delete things and clear etc. I tidy my room and fold my clothes. This is one of the ways of coping with my anxiety. I’m…
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Quote of the day.
…. “As someone told me lately, “Everyone deserves the chance to fly” And if I’m flying solo At least I’m flying free” – Wicked. ….
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Note.
I want each and every person who did me wrong to face the consequences of their actions. Even the people who spread slander and made false accusations. I’ve taken names of each and every person who sexually assaulted me too. Like Priyali Patra, Amit, cousin brother etc. I want every single person to face the…
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Note.
I’ve started washing my briefs, bra, socks etc myself. Now that I’m not being tortured inhumanly, I’m no longer crazy. I’m able to do all the regular things and be my best self. I was not doing it because of this reason not because I was lazy. I’m not like mother’s friend’s daughter Jane Jacob.…
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Quote of the day.
…. “Karma is that girl, like.” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “I’d rather be a comma than a full stop” – Coldplay. …. “I’m flying high, defying gravity” – Wicked. …. “Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain My love for you will remain ‘Cause I am a mountain” – Coldplay. ….
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Note.
I ruffled Shrikant’s hair at Askaban. As I said, I got that habit Ashwin Srinivas. Shrikant knew it was a friendly gesture. Because he used to keep saying he’s happy we were friends. He would keep sharing his life with me too about all the women he was interested in. We were in touch for…
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Quote of the day.
…. “And our love’s the only war worth fighting for” – Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga. …. “I don’t want you like a best friend” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard” – Taylor Swift✨ …. “So who can stop me if I decide that you’re my…
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Note.
Also, Most people in my past spoke to me for ulterior motives and to use my helplessness. On a personal front there would be no love and the truth would be something else entirely, but they maintain a facade in front of the world. It’s a win win situation for them either ways. ‘Cause even…
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Note.
Father is not well and I don’t have money to take him to the hospital. Can someone please help? I don’t understand why this is prolonging.
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Note.
I remember one day I broke down in the exam hall during an exam. Prashant was in the same hall. I failed that exam because the only thing I did was cry. Everyone kept writing and Prashant stormed off mid way. The lecturer handed me a paper to blow my nose. I don’t remember exactly…
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Note.
Prashant, my friend from engineering told me he watches porn on incognito. So I used to do the same because those days, I used to copy my friends. Only that I used to never really watch it. I would just open and close. Because I find porn scary. Also, I saw on TV while watching…
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Note.
I gave Savita a postcard on her birthday. I give postcards to everyone I speak to. I was trying to be friends, so yeah. I write sweet things on postcards and letters because I’m a sweet person. Even if they are hurting me, I don’t mention that on there. I’ve given it to so many…
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Note.
I don’t seduce anyone. People usually get attracted to me because I’m good, sweet, friendly and I have that allure. Not all maybe, but yeah usually. Also, everyone already knows me personally so when they speak to me, yeah it happens. I don’t know anyone personally, so I’ll be keeping it casual. Also, the preconceived…
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Note.
Savitha was also constantly prying and asking me about my personal life. Which I wasn’t comfortable to share. She used to dump on without punctuation on calls too. One day I couldn’t take it anymore and I told her she doesn’t use punctuation while speaking. After that whenever we spoke she constantly spoke about “cute…
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Note.
I’ve already proved myself. Everyone knows I’m innocent too. This BS is prolonging for absolutely no reason whatsoever other than, benefiting out of me and trying to study me like an alien and exploiting me. This needs to stop. This is cruelty to the extreme and inhuman madness.
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Note.
Everyone who speaks to me always likes me and even gets attracted to me. Because I’m good. But I don’t. I have my types and preferences when it comes to my romantic likings. Also, since I met Ginny. It’s been only her on my mind, like all the time. It’s like I was sleeping till…
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Note.
Also, Savitha would constantly copy everything I did in gym. I got to know she’s a newbie, so I started educating her on whatever I know. I love helping. She would wear home clothes to gym. So I educated her saying there are specific clothes for gym and asked her to dress accordingly.
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Note.
Please watch my youtube videos again from the beginning. I call 46 ounces, “park pub” and keep talking about how I go there because it’s a park, filled with trees and it’s so peaceful. Peter Pettigrew started speaking to me few months ago but I’ve been speaking about “park pub” in my YouTube since a…
rachana rajan <3 