rachana rajan <3

Everyone who speaks to me knows I’m good, harmless and innocent. It’s when I don’t comply with what they want and things don’t go their way, that they turn tables and try to make me look bad by highlighting my difference. It conveniently works out for them because I’m different and because of my past…

Even if that person at 46 does love and care about me, it wasn’t evident or seen in the interaction that we had. She was just using me to vent and that’s it. After whatever happened to me, the way I reacted is normal. I went through something really serious and traumatic after that, which…

The person at 46 might have liked me because of what I have done for this world and the changes I made etc. But I was speaking the truth when I said there was nothing between us. We never had that kinda conversation and never met outside or anything of that sort. We hardly spoke…

Deepak GS never loved me, he was just saying it without meaning it. Because I never saw it on his eyes. He was just desperate to marry because his bestfriend got married and he was bored. He told me he loved me and I said no. The next minute he asked me where he can…

If people are wearing white and black because of that waitress. I have already explained everything that happened and inspite of everything that I went through and her extreme betrayal, I still allowed room for misunderstandings and even reached out for clarification. I have already showed the truth to the world and it is staring…

I’m not God to know someone’s POV or their side of the story when we are in different universes with different realities. Just calling someone a friend isn’t enough, people should also learn to “be a friend”. Anyone call anyone their friend, but only when you be a friend is when the word becomes valuable.…

Instead of taunting me you should question the integrity of people in question. Because I have proved myself multiple times. …. If someone is interested in being my friend, I expect them to make equal efforts, have hard conversations when things go wrong, have the ability to clarify things and own their fuck up and…

I was waiting for people to reach out to me and no one did. My therapist asked me to DM the waitress couple of times in the last session, so I did. Because I value her words. I asked for a clarification from that person even though she betrayed me so extremely. But she didn’t…

I was constantly having conversation with the person at 46 about their uniforms. It was always really hot weather whenever I went there and everyone who were working there was wearing an uniform with thick material. So I suggested that they should be wearing an uniform made of cotton or something light. (I also mentioned…

Because the world pressurized, I reached out to the waitress for clarification, even though I was betrayed by her in an extreme way. She didn’t respond. Hence I’m moving on.

People can wear whatever color they want because it doesn’t bother me anymore or even matter in any way anymore. I have taken that power away for it to bother me in my own way. Also, I have spoken my truth here about everything. How the world reacts or what they do isn’t really in…

The last blog is called “The colors”. I forgot to complete the title. (aaah I’ve become such a scatter brain) Also, I haven’t read Mahabharata and I haven’t watched GoT. I’m just incorporating things seamlessly in my fanfics without understanding the complete reasoning behind things or the back story. I apologize if something is out…

(fanfic) Khaleesi is sitting on the ground near a cliff. The ocean is flowing calmly below the cliff. There is a hum in the enormity. She is wearing an elegant white flowing gown that brings out the brown of her skin and makes her look angelic even. She adores that color. She removes her black…

Proof that I reached out.

Ginny can do anything she wants. I never get angry or fucked in the head. She can come late, wear white, ask me to stop texting. Anything. I just go along with it. I’m just waiting for her to unblock me because my heart is in pain.

People are being so hypocritical if they are expecting me to talk to someone who kept me under their foot like a doormat and continuosly stamped and mistreated me. I have been extremely transparent about everything and I clearly explained why I stopped speaking to people as well. I have not done anything wrong to…

I’ve already spoken about everything. I’ve already given my reasons on why I’m not reaching out. Whoever is saying they care can come forward and clarify and fight for it. Because that’s what people who love you would do. I know the basic etiquette because I learnt it. I haven’t fucking stared at anyone in…

“karma is a cat Purring in my lap ’cause it loves me Flexing like a goddamn acrobat Me and karma vibe like that” – Taylor Swift✨ ….. It’s me, I’m the cat. (pun intended :P) Cannot imagine a world without Taylor Swift in it. … I’m literally accepting defeat. If people are calling me a…

If I’m savage for retaliating which is 20-50% of what someone did to me, so be it. God saw the truth. God saw the demon inside people who did me wrong along with me.

Two months ago, everyone had stopped gaslighting me. Everywhere I went, people were treating me good and they didn’t gaslight me. But after the incident of me telling the waitress at 46 I don’t trust people easily so I don’t accept anyone in my life. The next I went there. She asked me to find…

I’m not gaming. I’m fighting and advocating for my truth. If people are adamant that I’m gaming and always trying to win. I also accepted defeat and allowed room for misunderstandings and encouraged people to reach out. I’m trying to fucking show to the world the truth that when someone cares and loves you, they…

If they are missing me and they are claiming to have love and they feel there’s misunderstandings. I’m encouraging them to come forward and clear it. Also, fight for the love they are saying they have. …. I’m not sure why I’m being taunted for someone else’s mistakes, flaws and inability to accept their fuck…

If people I stopped speaking with are missing me, it’s because they miss having a doormat in their life. Because we were never friends, I was a doormat. That’s it. Now that I’m successful and my face is all over the place they must be repenting and I’m sure they are also bitter because I…

I am where I am because of Ginny. I was able to reach here because of her and I was able to do what I did because of her. I am a better person because of her. There is nothing she can do that will make me dislike her. Because I’m alive today because of…

Even if the world doesn’t bring me justice, I know for sure God will. Because He was with me the entire time and He saw what happened along with me. Hence I’m unbothered.

More than a lot of things happened to me. A lot of people tried to silence me again and again and again and wanted me dead time and time again. A lot of people tried to bring me down when I was rising and tried to dim my light multiple times. But I still held…

You should question the integrity of people in question and not torture me this way. Because I’ve already said everything.

I do see things online and I do understand it as well, but it’s far away from the truth. People are just twisting the truth to shift blame and avoid accountability. I’ve already spoken about and addressed every single thing. I have accepted all my mistakes unabashedly as well and addressed why and what. Most…

I don’t know why people hurt me when I speak the truth about something that someone did. I do understand that I’m putting it in a public platform in front of the world. But am I supposed to keep quiet about what happened when I’m being misunderstood and my reputation is at stake? The only…

Things are more than a little difficult right now and beyond what a normal person can handle. With whatever my father still does, Ginny has blocked me everywhere, I’m being gaslighted even now, I cannot read because I’m being attacked through books, my health isn’t completely good and so on. On top of all this,…

I don’t know why people are speaking about “friends” and showing me Draco, Lucius Malfoy and others. I have spoken about it since day one. About every single thing that they did and that happened. When I was speaking to them I was innocent and naive and did use the word friends. I did miss…

The other day when I got ready and came out of the bedroom, father was facing the tv but was looking at me with the corner of his eyes. So that he can stare at me when I come out. I said what are you staring at and he looked forward. This incident is still…

I’m not sure why I’m being taunted for someone else’s mistakes and character flaws. I didn’t deserve what I went through but I’m still letting it go because there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it than let it go. Instead of taunting me you should probably question the integrity of the people in question.…

I think I should not eat outside till I’m completely okay health wise and trust wise. It’s not the restaurants fault. Don’t take it personally. I’m still little scared to eat. Please ignore me and what I said.

What happened was extremely traumatic and overwhelming. I’m over it. But the residual is still there. Hence I’m still in fighter mode and still very reactive. I think I’m looping as well? Aaah. Please ignore me if I’m not making sense. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry if something I said was not meant for me or was not meant to hurt me. I need some time to trust again and be completely okay again. I’m alright now but not completely. I’m finding it bit difficult after the enormity of what happened. Please ignore me if I’m saying something that…

There is something in Daisy Haites about a social activist who was way high up and then she lost her mind which was well deserved. I don’t know if it is meant as an attack to me. It isn’t true though because I’m very much sane and I have risen above the drama as always.…

I wasn’t playing games. I have already spoken about it and cleared it. But people are sticking on to it like with glue. So I’m not interested any more to correct anyone because after I say something 30 times, I stop caring who is right and who is wrong and think whatever.

I’m just waiting for Ginny to unblock me. I’m waiting for my money too, so that I can go to Canada to meet Ginny. I don’t know what people want from me anymore and it’s getting too annoying so I’m going to stop giving a fuck. OMG. please leave me alone.

I don’t really know why everyone are expecting me to be friends with these people, even after saying what happened? So absurd and hypocritical. But yeah, they can reach out and clear things if they care about me. I’m trying to keep an open mind.

If I have to miss someone there should be something good between us to miss. It’s normal not to miss someone who has only given me trauma, abuse and disrespect. … I’m a 33 year old woman. I know what’s right and what’s wrong. I know what I want. Whatever people are doing is childish…

Whenever I see friends walking in front of me or online. I don’t miss the people the world is expecting me to miss, because as I have expressed multiple times, there was absolutely no good memories with them. Even if this goes on till my last breath, this reality remains. Because it’s the truth that…

My entire life is here. There’s absolutely nothing left to say. I haven’t spoken about conversation level of what happened because I don’t think I need to go that deep? I’ve even said things that’s none of anyone’s business, like my personal life details. I don’t know what more do people want from me.

Below is my contact list. These are the only numbers on my phone. If anyone is interested to speak and clear things. I insist they reach out.

People are committed to misunderstanding me. I guess it’s because they feel I’m misunderstanding the people I stopped speaking with? Hence I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt and asking them to reach out and clear things. There is honestly nothing I can do anymore. I don’t see the point of why I’m being…

There’s nothing left for me to say or do anymore. I don’t really know what is expected from me as well and what is the intention behind people hurting me. Everyone already knows I’m innocent and I’m speaking the truth. I don’t know why this is prolonging, tbh.

I was in a lot of trauma because of the sexual assault and I did call her to clear things as well, immediately after it happened, but she continuously harrassed me. I did do my bit before letting it go. Now I don’t even have her number. If she wants to clear things she has…

Also about Dhruv. (I’ve already spoken about everything) I don’t know why it is being mentioned in the audiobook as well and why things are being pulled so far. Friendship with him wasn’t working out since the beginning because he always wanted more and I was never interested. I always said no to his advances…

Since the friendship was not working out with the waitress because she was continuously and consistently mistreating me. (I’ve spoken about it before) I said a white lie that I don’t trust people easily because I did not want to hurt her. I asked her not to feel bad and left. The next time I…

I’m not sure what is the intention behind white because it’s beyond me and I can’t read anyone’s mind. I’m not Edward fucking Cullen. If people are expecting me to be friends with someone, I’ve already spoken about it in previous blogs. It’s quite hypocritical but I still allowed room for misunderstandings. If people are…

I think everyone already knows I’m innocent and I’m speaking the truth. I’ve cleared everything. I’m not sure why this is prolonging. Also, I accepted defeat and allowed room for misunderstandings. I encouraged people who are claiming to miss me to reach out and clear the misunderstandings as well. This is honestly not on me…

Even I used to consider everyone I spoke to as my “friend” before. I trusted blindly and I was betrayed left right and centre. There has been so many casual friendships and people in my life after that. People kept coming and going. Hence I stopped using the word “friend” loosely. I don’t give away…

Whoever tried to bring me down and dim my light by spreading lies about me, I just have one thing to say to you. God saw what you did, remember this. God will bring me justice even if the world doesn’t.

Also, I’m not gaming. I’m fighting for my innocence and truth by putting across valid points and questions. Because no one else will fight for me. I’ve showed the truth to the world as well but they are refusing to see it and accept it.

Even if this continues till my last breath and I die alone. The truth is not going to change and I am speaking the truth. I don’t miss anyone because as I have repeated multiple times there was absolutely nothing to miss. I can’t force myself or fake it. If there’s a misunderstanding, I’m accepting…

I’ve already spoken about everything. I’m accepting there could be a misunderstanding as well. I’m also encouraging the people who are screaming to the world “we are friends” to reach out and clear it. I don’t miss anyone or any of those things because I’m speaking the truth as always. I don’t see a point…

I don’t remember ignoring Ginny’s messages ever. That sounds so absurd. I don’t even know why people are saying this. … Also, I’m teaching people how to treat me. I do not under any circumstances allow disrespect and abuse etc. If I go back, this shit they are doing of staying in the shadows and…

I’m not stupid not to understand when Ginny is being out of character. I didn’t get it at first and was even suicidal one whole night. But after a while I got it. I might be slow but I’m definitely not stupid. Well, not anymore at least. Anyway.

Even after being continuously tortured and scrutinized. Also, after the multiple near death incidents if I’m still saying the same thing. People should have the basic understanding that I’m speaking the truth.

I was continuously mistreated and disrespected by this person who everyone are taking sides with and I was treated like a doormat by her. I have never seen or felt the love, care and missing which she so diligently screaming to the world that she has for me. People are comparing her to Harry giving…

I’m not always right. I fuck up too. My consciousness is clear because when I fuck up, I own it and apologize, I try my best make things right and redeem myself.

I’m always harmless and cute. Everyone who speaks to me knows that. No one ever has a problem with me and everyone always likes me. Because I have zero ego and I was always available and sweet. People are just bitter because I spoke the truth about them or refused to be their friend or…

I did see a reel online. Dhruv is the one with the dirty mind and not me. The reel that I saw is not the truth about what happened. He is twisting the truth.

I do see what people are trying to do by using my same words that I used for the person at 46 on me. But what people don’t understand is that, whatever I said to her is correct and within context of the conversation. But people who are close to me using the same words…

Something really small got blown out of proportion and a lot of serious things happened. I did my best to solve the problem and cleared everything in the best I could. I have openly spoken about and cleared all the manipulations as well. Because I’m in the public eye a lot things keeps happening. Most…

This can go on till I die. I haven’t done anything wrong and my values are always good. Just because I love Ginny unconditionally, doesn’t mean I will be okay with her taking sides with someone whom she doesn’t know. And hurting me like this based on that. I have clearly explained everything and expressed…

Whom I accept in my close circle is my personal choice based on the experience I have with each individual. Also, it is not humanly possible for me to accept every single person I speak to casually in my life. And just because I do not accept them in my circle doesn’t reduce their value…

If Ginny ended it for this reason, I have nothing left to say to her. She should ask me or talk about it. I don’t know what to say anymore.

It’s not easy to come out of something like what happened to me. But I still am continuing to do that by myself. I’m under a lot of stress even now because it was extremely traumatic. People even wanted me dead, attacked me through books and my throat got fucked. I haven’t picked up a…

I went through a lot these last two months when I didn’t deserve it and when it wasn’t my fault. Because of that I have been extremely fucked in the head. The entire world was coming at me. It was beyond stressful and also, there was so many misunderstandings that people had created. It was…

If the world is continuing to wear white and black and the lady hurting me yesterday and every other hurtful thing that is happening to me is in an attempt for me to go back to people I stopped speaking with. As I have already expressed multiple times, I’d rather die alone and suffer. I…

It’s really hard to live with parents when they are constantly wanting me to be sick even after everything is over and done. Honestly, I’m fed up of these manipulations and constantly trying to trigger me to get a reaction out of me. I’m a human being, I’ve gone through a lot in life. I…

Whatever happened with the lady and what happened at home after that was planned and staged, to trigger me and fuck me up. Everything is making sense. It’s like someone wants to keep the drama going. … Honestly, I’m fed up of this shit. Everything is over and done. Whoever is doing all this bullshit…

Honestly, after whatever I went through. I still feel shaken because of it. Even though things seem to be fine now. It’s still not completely fine. Maybe the auto incident and the avacado incident wasn’t intentional and it might be an accident. Not sure but might be. But whatever the lady did was intentional. Because…

Someone was extremely desperate to spoil my name and bring me down. I fought continuously and cleared everything. But it’s still not over. These are the things that’s still going on. I know the whole world is reading this. Someone please step up and help me out of this situation. There is so many internal…

Today I was minding my business and sitting outside at night and a lady came and intentionally harassed and demeaned me. The whole thing felt planned to hurt me by the way she was speaking. I don’t know who or what, but it was extremely clear it was planned by what she said and the…

I feel sometimes we should just believe and not question it. Because sometimes that belief is everything for a person and I don’t want to take it away or shake their belief with technicality and reasoning. I don’t want to pick a fight as well. Because somethings are just there to make life meaningful and…

For quite some time now, I had this thought that we should make heaven in where we are. I took it upon me and tried to solve problem after problem and tried to help. Untangle the tough knots. Tried to make it easier and tried to make the world better. Tried to make people understand…

I don’t know if everyone got the easter eggs. I’m going to leave it to the imagination of the readers. Not going to explain. iykyk.

(fanfic) Slowly everyone joins Khaleesi at Mount Khailash. They are facing the eternal light and praying with her heads bent down. Khaleesi, “Dear God, please give us the strength to fight and make heaven of where we are and find peace in now, instead of longing and waiting for an unknown heaven. Please give us…

(fanfic) The other ethereal beings rises up from the raging fire below like phoenixes and stands behind her at Mount Khailash. Everyone are looking at the enternal light in front of them.

(fanfic) There is a gallow in front of the mansion. There is a clown standing next to it smiling so much that it is extremely creepy. The clown’s purpose of life is to frame the innocents and kill them in the gallow while maintaining the creepy smile. Khaleesi looks at the clown with an ethereal…

(fanfic) The alive silver snake that Khaleesi is wearing proudly around her neck as an ornament begins to hiss. There is a cemetery next to the mansion. There are numerous skeletons in the cemetery. Each of the skeletons are holding Nintendo switch in their hands. Khaleesi turns towards her right and in a crisp and…

(fanfic) It’s a quiet late friday evening. There is cold breezing rushing through the leaves of the trees making it rustle. Khaleesi is gliding through a farm wearing a flowy sparkling silver dress. There is a sparkling silver half moon in the sky right on top of her which is moving along with her. She…

When someone spoils my reputation, my name, abuses, assaults, harasses, disrepects, traumatizes, betrayes me and other ugly stuff. Oh I’m most definitely not going to be “nice”. I’m going to ask everybody but their dog to fuck off. Quotes for the day✨ “You told everyone I’m a bitch, so I became it.” – Gayle. “I…

This friendship, love and missing me that they are so loudly screaming to the world is fucking non existent. ’cause if there was truth to it, I would have seen it. .. Whoever has hacked my phone and is continuously attacking me. It needs to stop. The truth is in the open now.

I’m not going to pacify anyone’s mistakes. I’m not interested in feeding someone’s ego. I’m not interested in pleasing anyone. I’m not interested in making amends for someone’s horrendous behaviour. I was fucking disrespected, my trust was broken, I was betrayed, I was assaulted and harrassed, I went through tremendous pain and suffering. Because of…

Why are people obsessing over this minute unnecessary things?

Draco told me herself she likes to dominate people and keep them under her. Karan Punjabi told me himself that everyone stops talking to him because of his anger issues because he keeps shouting at them.

I think “I can’t see” must be that people are doubting my eyesight issue? Whenever I go to Lenskart they check my eyesight power with a big machine. They ask me to look at a house inside the machine to check my power. I insist people to fact check at Lenskart. I might be slow…

I see eyes everywhere. I have no clue why people call me a cat for something I did so long ago which I already spoke about. Whatever I do with my niece is just playing. We keep irritating each other and playing. I do a lot of things to make her laugh, that’s it. Whenever…

I have endured disrespect my entire life and I was under people’s foot like a doormat. Right now I’m asking for respect and fighting for it. I’m not going to conform to societal pressure to normalise mistreatment and disrespect. Unless I take a stand for myself and stand up for myself this will continue forever.…

People are asking me to do something by going against myself, my values, core beliefs, my mind and my heart. I fucking can’t. I love myself a lot to betray myself. I will never betray myself. I’d rather die than betray myself. Betraying me is betraying God. I will never do that. I choose to…

Whenever I talk to someone, I forgive a lot of things and let things slide and keep loving them. Till they cross the threshold and I go through enourmous suffering. After I go through that suffering and heal from it. No matter what happens I can never go back because it keeps hitting me like…

I’d rather suffer every day for the rest of my life than go back. If I’m saying this, I have strong reasons for it. I cannot fake it even if it costs my life. Please should respect my decisions because it’s my personal decisions. People should understand what they are doing is outrageously wrong. Till…

Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth and what happened to me was outrageously wrong and inhuman. But the world is committed to misunderstanding me and hurting me. The world should be empathizing with me for everything that I went through, but this what’s happening. I don’t know why people are doing this? I haven’t done…

Someone wanted to destroy me and dim my light and they succeeded in it. As long as this continues, I’m no longer interested in anything. Even if the world crashes and burns, I don’t fucking care. If this is how people are treating me even when the truth is out in the open, why the…

I’m being exploited, used, taken advantage of, mistreated and controlled. And people all over the world are copying me and winning awards, making millions of dollars, excelling in life. Whereas I’m being continuously harrassed by gaslighting brutally. People continuously abuse and assualt me and later spoil my name by spreading lies and manipulations. And when…

I do understand the whole world gets to know everything that I speak. Which isn’t my fault to begin with. But does that mean I’m not supposed to speak the truth about the assaults and harassments that I went through? When people are spoiling my name and reputation to avoid accountability? How is it okay…

“And I don’t really care if nobody else believes, ‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.” – Rachel Platten.

God was with me and He saw everything that happened. Even if the world triumphs the evil, they will definitely not be spared in the court of God. Because in the court of God, truth is what suffices. He saw what I went through. I know for sure he will bring me justice even if…

I didn’t lose the war. People are choosing to ignore the truth, what I went through and my suffering even though everyone knows I’m innocent. People are choosing to misunderstand me intentionally and are taking the side of people who did me wrong. They are choosing to triumph the evil and making the one who…

This can go on till I die. Even if I die alone and as a villain, I don’t fucking care. My decision holds. I refuse to conform to societal pressure and throw away my values. I know the truth and God knows it as well. I don’t need to prove it anymore. I’ve said a…

I don’t have any grudge against anyone. I have forgiven them. I have love and care for them as a human being. But I cannot do more than this because I do not like them. I have said this multiple times. If anyone is interested to clear things they can fucking do it. Instead of…

If whatever happened to me would have happened to anyone else in this world, a lot of people would be in trouble. But because it’s me people are not respecting my words, controlling me, harassing me and forcing me. People even wanted me dead. My life and dreams were not valued because I openly spoke…

I know what happened and what I went through. I know the truth about how much I suffered and what they did. I’m not going to conform to societal pressure to normalise disrespect, abuse, mistreatment, betrayal and trauma and name it friendship. This can go on till I die, but I will not go back…

I’m sure Kim has a different perception to what happened and I’m sure if Taylor and Kim speak to each other they will realise that no one was wrong or right and it was a misunderstanding. But why is the world not controlling Taylor’s life and her life decisions?

Someone continuously ogling at my body is sexual assault. Someone continuously sticking their body forcefully to mine is mental and physical assault. And so on. If there has been only trauma, abuse, assualt and disrespect in that particular relationship and there has been not even a single good thing to hold on to. Letting it…

If you are seeing pictures of us. People don’t know the BTS trauma. I was innocent, naive and didn’t know better and thought that was friendship and stayed in it for a long time. I loved unconditionally back then. It’s after I grew up and gained an understanding, after therapy and educating myself that I…

I started writing here because there were so many things that happened in my life that I had not spoken to anyone about. Like so many things. Also, after I realised I’m normal and I don’t have any perception problem and also that people were misunderstanding me and there was this immense bullshit that was…

If there is a truth about the people in question which is contrary to what I’ve said. And they are saying we were friends and they love, care and miss me, why am I not seeing it in their actions. Where is this love, care and missing? Because I don’t see it. Because if there…

Also, when I feel genuine love, care and friendship from someone, I will most definitely not let that person go because I know how precious and rare that is. Since I haven’t felt that, I’m not going back. … These people in the past are not reaching out to me because they don’t have the…

Calling someone who continuously assaulted and abused me a deranged hyena or a leech is nothing. It’s hardly even 10%. My retaliations are not even half of what I went through and how much I suffered because of that person and the trauma I had to endure. Everyone knows this. I don’t know why people…

I know for a fact that everyone knows I’m innocent and I’m speaking the truth. People are just committed to misunderstanding me. It could be because they are trying to get me to talk to people in the past by trying to convey that I’m misunderstanding them. But as I have already expressed multiple times…

I’m unable to handle whatever is happening anymore. The 1000 blogs I have written over these years was trashed in a second. I don’t really know what exactly went wrong but I’ve said everything and cleared everything and kept fighting. Everything I did so far and we went through together is ignored over a silly…

I have used so many other fancy words and given so many other stupid examples. I feel people were just waiting for a loop hole if they are sticking on to this one thing and taking it negatively and pulling it unnecessarily. I’m not sure why everything else that I built is being overlooked over…

I’m being pressurized mentally and psychologically in an outrageously inhuman way. All I’m doing is fighting for my innocence since day one. I’m fighting not playing. I just use fancy words sometimes to add color to what I say. That’s it. Please stop holding onto that one thing out of 100s and pulling it more…

I have given so many anology throughout my fanfiction since day one. I have used so many words and examples throughout. I already explained why I used the word “checkmate” and “power move”. It’s because it sounded befitting. People are taking that one example out of 100s of examples that I’ve put forth since the…

Anger is a normal reaction to sexual and mental assualts. Everytime I was angry in the past, it is justified because so was the intensity of abuse that I had to endure. It is normal.

If there is mental and sexual abuse, trauma, two face manipulations, unnecessary drama, disrespect and other ugly things in a relationship. And it is always overwhelming and draining. Ending things is something anyone would do.

When that person at 46 was continuously using me to dump her problems and crib. I always listened and helped, by putting my needs aside. I always made her feel better. I didn’t speak about movies or shit. Yes, I did speak about light things sometimes too. But I always helped as well. See I…

I know for a fact that everyone knows I’m innocent and I’m not gaming. Everyone knows I’m good and I didn’t do anything wrong as well. I’ve spoken about everything as well. I feel people are just intentionally taunting me to hurt me. But I’m not sure why. … I don’t know why people feel…

I don’t know why people are continuing to taunt me. There’s nothing left to say. Whatever it is people should openly talk about it and get it over with, I can’t read minds. This is prolonging unnecessarily. I’m aware that everything was cleared one month back and things were going good. After whatever happened at…

Also, I was constantly fighting for my innocence and the truth by putting across valid points and questions. So that the world can think and realise that the accusations are false. This isn’t gaming. I’m advocating for myself because there is no else who will fight for me. I didn’t know how to talk when…

When someone kills me, I kill them back in self defence. If they damage my ship with their evil and I’m sinking, I’m going to take them down with me with the truth. I’m not evil, they are. I’m the vigilente.

Every single thing I’ve said is the truth. I know that, God knows that and every single person in this world knows that. Everything is out in the open. Your black and white shit and inability to take accountability doesn’t affect me bitch.

People from my past are in a purgatory. I don’t want to go back. I want to soar high and free like a phoenix.

Dobby would rather die than let anything happen to Harry Potter. Because of the manipulations and lies of these two faced people, people wanted me dead 2 weeks ago. Before someone calls themselves as Dobby please come close to his standards. Before someone calls themselves Sirius or Ron, bloody come close to their standards. People…

I look at people casually sometimes at home and when I go out. I’ve noticed a lot of people do that too. I don’t “stare”. I know the basic etiquette cause I learnt it. Staring was a phase after I started speaking with the intention of making friends and it passed. I’ve already spoken about…

I’m always looking down. I look up when someone speaks to me to read their expressions. But I’m terrible at maintaining eye contact because I’m shy. I look up when I like someone, but it’s only with men. I look at them when they aren’t looking at me. When they look at me, I don’t…

Also, I never look at someone’s eyes for more than few seconds because I’m always shy and reserved. I haven’t done that with Ginny as well and I’m in love with her. I haven’t looked at anyone’s face like how people are accusing me of. I do read expressions but I have not looked like…

You should ask her why she consistently asked me to go to her house after the pimple incident. You should ask her why she did that when we were complete strangers. She is nice. I don’t deny that. I find something good in everyone I meet and I tell them that. I compliment everyone. But…

I asked her to meet 2 times when I was stepping out myself. But the plan didn’t happen nor was I excited about it. So I let it go. That’s what people do in such cases. I’ve given word by word explanation as well.

Also, most importantly I have never felt comfortable or safe in this person’s presence. The energy was completely off, disrespectful and abusive.

Also, I was constantly forced to go to her house and to meet her. The energy was off because when the plan gets cancelled few times people let it go and ask again after sometime has passed. If it’s a relationship it’s different and this behaviour is understandable. If it’s your bestfriend, it makes sense…

Taking advantage of someone’s kindness and empathy and forcing yourself in their life to dump on them constantly without respecting them is not friendship. When there is nothing else happening in this relationship apart from this, it is definitely not friendship. I’m not saying venting to a friend is wrong. If someone likes me and…

I refuse to give and share when this is how I’m being treated. I refuse to be used and exploited. I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity. I’ve spoken about and untangled all the immense manipulations. I’ve risen above the chaos time and time again. I’ve shown the truth to the world. The world knows…

Everyone knows my content is good because the world has been making content out of my content. I didn’t say anything about it or even ask for direct credit. I’m a human being. Obviously I won’t like it when I’m being exploited. When my life and content is used this way without any recognition. The…

People are just speaking and supporting rubbish even though they know that the rubbish isn’t true. Because I’ve already spoken about everything and proved myself. Everyone knows I’m innocent as well. This is continuing to go on for no reason and also because I’m hugely successful. As I already said, I’m successful because I’m good…

People need to realise that no matter what you do, you can’t make someone love you and choose you. Because the person you love is a totally different human being with different mind and heart. I just spoke about how I feel about Ginny here. I’ve been doing this since day one. I did that…

People should learn to treat me right. They should understand things and know when they are wrong. I need respect as a human being and convention for what I’m doing. I need other basic human rights as well like privacy, space and respect for my boundary and decisions. People should understand that controlling my life…

Some people tried to bring me down and dim my light. I fought for the truth, proved myself and I have shown the truth to the world as well. I know for a fact that everything is over and done. This is simply prolonging for no reason as I stated in the previous blog. Someone…

When someone hurts me a lot and betrays me, I think of ways to hurt them back. With the truth obviously. Most of the time it’s the things I overlooked or let slide. When people don’t care about me and manipulate and lie. I don’t think I should care about them and it’s okay to…

I insist people who are doing this to check the screen time of each porn video that I’ve seen. If that’s possible. Also, I’m not into poly shit. You need to let it go.

A boy in my class used to call me shorty lime. Those were strange times. This the only relevance to lemon I can think of. …. I remember telling Ginny, I like dick not vagina. I was trying to convey that I like men more than women. Because my feelings for women are very rare…

I saw the word lemon few times and based on google search, this is the only thing that’s relevant. … My friends in college were into smutty fanfiction during my 11th and 12th. I would read it too because I copied my friends back then. I didn’t read it all the way through each time.…

I had already spoken about everything and cleared my name. Because I openly spoke about my experiences. People were digging up things that were buried in an attempt to shift blame and bring me down. All these were based on someone’s lies and manipulations. Someone who wanted to dim my light. I don’t know why…

I don’t put a positive twist to everything. I’m really good at empathizing and making people feel better. I just don’t appreciate it when a random stranger whom I asked to take my picture dumps all her problems on me. And consistently and constantly does it every time she sees me and takes advantage of…

I know for a fact that everyone knows I’m speaking the truth and I’m innocent. I’m not sure why people are refusing to accept it and they are committed to misunderstanding me and harassing me online and everywhere I go. I don’t understand this. … Also, I spoke openly about what everyone did because my…

I started watching porn because of my guy friend. I don’t remember who it was. I always copy everything my friends do. I did it because they did it. Prashant is the one who told me what to watch, how to watch etc. I blindly followed. I never liked it though. I have spoken about…

I don’t remember what exactly I saw on TV or how old I was. But I remember I was watching TV and doing my homework. I saw something and copied it. I used to copy from books and TV at that time because I wasn’t speaking to anyone else. I kept doing what I saw…

I’m speaking about each and every person and what they did because people are making me talk about them. These things aren’t so important and I have let it go. I don’t know why people are so obsessed over each and every thing and breaking down my life. I don’t know why this is prolonging…

During the fight with Deepak GS. When I confronted him about the “kiss me” incident, he also said that if I don’t want to kiss him before marriage let’s get married. He said in matrimony website no one talks to each other and people are there in the app just to get married. He said…

My entire childhood I was talking to God so I never felt lonely or the need for a friend. Honestly I didn’t know no one wanted to play with me as well. I was kinda in my own world and constantly talking to God. People were continuously hurting me but it had no effect on…

I think I already spoke about Deepak GS and Ashwin. The two men whom I genuinely tried to fall in love with and marry last year. I don’t know why I have to repeat again. But yeah, I will do so. I spoke to Deepak GS for one month. I met him 3 times. We…

If people are calling batman an inmate in the asylum with the jokers and implying that I’m Batman. So be it. I was crazy in the past, I already explained why. Right now I might be slightly crazy and quirky. I won’t deny it. Everyone in this world are slightly crazy and imperfect. Some more…

When I had channa for lunch it was fine, but when I had the same thing in the evening my throat got fucked. For dinner mother fried potatoes. There were so many hair in it. I don’t know what exactly is intentional and what isn’t. I’m just writing everything that is happening and being clear…

When I say someone doesn’t love and care about me genuinely it is the truth because I have experienced it, that’s why I’m saying it. I know the truth. There is a lot of manipulations that goes on because I’m in the public eye. People need to understand this. If I’m staying strong and not…

I know that people who are hurting me online and everywhere are doing it intentionally and they don’t mean it. So I’m just letting it slide and ignoring. I do understand when someone is trying to trigger me as well. I’ve already proved my sanity and spoken about the manipulations. I do understand things I’m…

I have been continuously proving myself in front of the world. I don’t know why people are doubting me and holding on to my one Instagram post, which I’ve already given explanation for. Now I’ve started hating that song, tbh. I’m not fucking playing any games. I don’t know why people are holding on to…

If people are doing this so that they want me to be friends with people I stopped speaking with. I have already expressed this multiple times that I’m not interested. I have forgiven them and I care about them as a human being from a distance but I cannot do more than this. I do…

I don’t know what exactly is the reason behind everyone continuing to hurt me even after explaining everything. Yes, I do understand that everyone knows everything about me and all my mistakes and flaws included. But I did speak about everything and why and what happened. I don’t know why this is prolonging even after…

Oh and for the record. If I was that little boy’s parent or teacher. I would have sat with him, asked him questions in an empathetic way and made him talk because obviously little kids don’t know shit. Do you see where people are messing up and going wrong?

I’m not playing games or lying. I’m tired of hearing this shit because everyone knows I’m speaking the truth and this is simply prolonging. Also, I’m just putting across valid points and questions for the accusations and insinuations that’s thrown at me. This isn’t a game. I’m fighting for my rights, innocence and sanity. So…

A little boy was staring at me when I went out today. I have spoken about everything. I’m not sure why people are continuing to do whatever they are doing. Honestly, I didn’t think anything much about the incident. People are just trying to shift the blame on me instead of accepting that they fucked…

I’ve said everything. Everyone knows it’s the truth. Everything is over and done with. I don’t see why this is prolonging and why people are taunting me continuously through news, Instagram and YouTube. Also, there was a man outside my window in the morning playing a clip on his phone stating someone wants to kill…

I do see things online. I’m going to say it again anyway. Betraying one or two times can be forgiven if there is a foundation and connection. Like Ron betraying Harry. But if there is absolutely no friendship like the friendship between Ron and Harry. Whatever people are trying to convey doesn’t hold. I’ve already…

Calling me owl/cat based on something that happened when I was a teenager many many years ago is wrong. I already said, it was because my mind was underdeveloped and also because of the continuous assaults. I’ve clearly spoken about it and explained all the manipulations as well. … I don’t know why people hurt…

All this started because of what happened at the restaurant, I have already cleared and spoken about it multiple times. People were expecting me to be friends with people I stopped speaking with. I clearly explained why I can’t. I clearly explained that my retaliations are 20-50% of what the other person did and I…

People are just lying and manipulating. I don’t have even one single good memory with the people in the past. Not even one. If you are seeing pictures of us, you don’t know the BTS of each picture. But I do. I know the trauma behind each picture. They were extremely abusive, condescending, monstrous, dominating,…

Everyone whom I met in my life aren’t bad. There are some people whom I met who were really good, I like them even now as a person. But our friendship fell out, so I don’t call them my friends. It’s because of the situation I’m in and because I’m in the public eye, there’s…

Draco didn’t block me till I openly started speaking about what he did 2 years ago. It was as though he was encouraging the abuse and my suffering because of his behaviour. But when I started stripping off his mask, I was blocked. Others did the same. It’s because of that that I spoke about…

They did whatever they did and they try to keep a good name and save face. You can clearly know this because people in the past didn’t block me after what they did. It’s like they were encouraging a reaction. If whatever I was saying was hurting them in reality, they should have blocked me.…

I realise things late. I don’t realise it as it happens. Sometimes I realise after 5 years and sometimes after 10. Sometimes after few months. So as and when I realise it, I confront the person. My therapist encouraged me to do this. She also said it’s okay to confront when I realise because they…

Yesterday my throat was fixed but in the night mother gave me really cold food and I started feeling weird again. I saw few things online meant to trigger me. Today morning mother tried her best to trigger me, but it didn’t work. Father tried to add to the fuel. I confronted them and ended…

I already told you, I’ve met some really good people in my life. I met a man couple of years ago. The first time we met, it was a date and we kissed. But we decided it’s not working and stayed friends. We were friends for a year. He is a really good person and…

I’ve said this many times, please ask me whatever it is that people want clarification on. I’m not sure why I’m being attacked through books. I don’t know why people torture me, instead just ask? I’m getting scared to read again. I’m so fed up.

They are manipulating the truth in a way to make it sound convincing by taking advantage of my past misunderstandings because they are just bitter. And people are conveniently believing their lies because I’m different and feeling for them. Instead of pointing out my flaws, people in question should introspect their fuck ups.

I’ve had healthy male friendships in the past where I was same as how I was with Dhruv. I’ve spoken to a lot of people casually in my life and stopped speaking to them. Alot of people have stopped speaking to me too. All these things ended peacefully without any drama and cheap manipulations. But…

I clearly said no to all his advances. Also, he knew I was extremely sick when I hugged him and I openly spoke about Ginny and cried as well. I have never lead him on. I have always kept it healthy. I have read about male bestfriends in books and watched it in movies/series. I…

I don’t see anything wrong in holding male friend’s hand and hugging them or saying I love you to them. I’ve done that so many times in the past. No one has ever doubted me or created any drama before. But it’s my mistake, I should have cut Dhruv off when I knew he is…

No sorry wait. I got the timeline wrong. I wasn’t upset when I met Dhruv for the last time because of the reels incident with Ginny. I was upset because I pushed Ginny because I was going to die.

I don’t know what people want? Like what do you want? (Noah’s voice)

People made me famous without my knowledge and consent. I made the best of the cards I was handed and I was just trying my best to prove my innocence and sanity. I didn’t know I was successful until I started watching movies and came out my dreamland of obsessing over Ginny. It’s only few…

Also I never planned the story I wrote here. I was continuously improvising as I was writing based on whatever was happening to me and whatever understanding I had at the time. It became good because I didn’t give up and kept adding elements as I kept growing and learning.

I’m not fucking playing games. I don’t know anything about chess. I have never played chess in my life. The only thing I know about chess is the word “check mate”. I used “I’m about to play my ace” because I heard it in New Romantics by Taylor Swift. Honestly I have no fucking clue…

I have never wanted an open relationship. I don’t know who the fuck started this bullshit. .. I haven’t read Mahabharata, bible, kuran, bhagwat gita or any of those things in my life. I have no fucking clue what’s written in it. Also, I have no clue about cars. I don’t speak car language. I…

First and foremost I want to make it clear that whatever was written in “days at the morisaki bookshop” is not true. I’m aware that it’s Dhruv’s perception and it is bullshit. Dhruv is one of the most disgusting creepy boy I’ve ever met in my life. He keeps ogling at my body like a…

I was listening to days at the morisaki bookshop and it was like a personal attack in the second part. I’m not sure why the authors are attacking me through books this way. Whatever they are saying is false though and far away from the truth. But it’s making me not want to read again.…

Every single thing I’ve said is true. People are just helping each other to save face in front of the world. So much internal manipulations. This needs to stop.

Yesterday when I went to the temple. I had been to brigade road. Cabs cancelled on me 10 times by giving lame excuse each time. When I spoke to the customer service even they tried their best to hurt me. This was intentional. After that I went to Taiki. They have named one of their…

I’m sure there’s two sides to the story with Taylor and Kim too. If you don’t expect something from Taylor, stop fucking expecting it from me. You can talk and advocate all you want, I will listen and acknowledge. But whatever I said holds. Stop being so fucking hypocritical and expect me to do something…

When Taylor Swift decides to be bestfriends with Kanye West and Kim again. I will consider talking to people who are claiming to miss me again but only after they reach out and redeem themselves. End of discussion. Period.

Please don’t compare these manipulative two faced people to greatest friends in the history and disgrace their names. I haven’t given word by word explanation, that’s it. But I’m speaking the truth. I know each person personally, I know who they are and what they are. If the world is falling for their shit, I…

.. “You showed who you are and one magical night, I forgot that you existed. It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s indifference.” – Taylor Swift✨ .. “You call me, all friendly, tellin’ me how much you miss me. That’s funny, I guess you’ve heard my songs. I wasn’t born yesterday, so I cut you…

.. “Shade never made anybody less gay, you need to calm down.” – Taylor Swift✨ .. “My give a fucks are on vacation.” – Sabrina Carpenter. ..

I don’t know what about my story is unrealistic?

Maybe people who did me wrong would have changed and would have realised their mistakes and would be repenting. Maybe they haven’t and they are just bitter and they must be secretly wishing that I die. No one knows. But I do know about me. I know that before letting them go I let a…

I’m sure Mr Naidu would have changed as a person because he realised his mistake and apologized. I was just trying to make a point. I’m sorry about using him as an example. Please don’t feel bad.

Mother is so much better than so many educated people I know. Mr Naidu is an educated man who worries about who smiles at him and who doesn’t, he supports war and is okay with people dying, he thinks death of a family member is trivial and constantly cribs about his wife. Father is 100…

You should question the integrity of people rather than taunting me. Because I always speak the truth. … I value people who sit with me in the dirt and storm. Not people who continuously stamp on me in the dirt and storm and walk away. And come back later when there is a rainbow, when…

Dobby is one of the finest and the most extraordinary friend in history. If I’m ever lucky to find someone like him. I’ll be the most luckiest person and I’ll never let that person go. Unfortunately, I haven’t till date.

I’ve already proved myself and cleared everything. It’s really important for the world to understand that people are just bitter that I spoke the truth about them, so they are trying to bring me down by spreading false information to spoil my reputation. They are using my past misunderstandings to make it sound convincing. I’m…

Also, father is 100 times better than Mr Naidu. Father has a good heart and better values. He had anger issues. But he has drastically changed now. He is constantly trying as well. … Sometimes I don’t like parents but I like them sometimes. I forgave them long ago. Also, since they are old now.…

If someone is comparing themselves to Dobby. Fucking match up to Dobby’s standards. Because if I find someone who genuinely loves and cares about me like how Dobby does Harry. I will never let that person go because I know how valuable Dobby is. … Also, I don’t go for looks. I don’t know who…

I’ve said this multiple times that my retaliations are just 20-50% of what that person did to me. I’ve gone through immense suffering because of that person and I was just speaking back. I don’t know why people are not ready to see my suffering and pain?

I know for a fact that everyone knows I’m speaking the truth. I’ve already cleared everything. Whatever is happening on Instagram and wherever I go is intentional and people are trying to hurt me intentionally. I don’t know why though?

Dudley is extremely jealous of me and my life. She knew I’m good but she constantly tried to bring me down and defeat me. She has been competing with me since childhood in a really toxic unhealthy way. She used my helplessness for ulterior motives as well. She did so many things. She is extremely…

I don’t know what “I can’t see” is supposed to imply? I saw it two times. I don’t know if it’s meant for me or an Instragram trend. I’m not aware of the trends.

There are few people who stopped speaking to me whom I miss a lot because they genuinely cared about me. I have felt so much love whenever they spoke to me, like neethu and few other people. They always loved and helped me so much. They respected me as well and wanted to see me…

I have never felt any genuine love and care from the people whom I stopped speaking to. There are so much manipulations that goes on constantly because of the situation I’m in and because I’m in the public eye. It’s extremely sad and heartbreaking because I hardly meet people who are genuine and who care…

When I find genuine love and care, I reciprocate it and I hold on tight to it because it’s really hard to find that. I never let go of that and I will always fight for it. You need to trust my words.

I know clearly who is genuine and who isn’t. Whose doing it for the attention and who isn’t. Who cares and loves me and who doesn’t. You need to trust me.

I always speak the truth, you need to trust me. People are extremely manipulative because I’m in the public eye. I know the truth. My values are always in place.

If people whom I stopped speaking with are reminiscing and saying we were friends and they like me etc, they are just lying and manipulating in front of the world. I know each and every person personally and I remember each and every conversation we’ve had. If I’m saying there was nothing and we weren’t…

Each person has caused really intense severe trauma that I took a really long time to come out of and heal. There are so many other things that has happened which I haven’t spoken about here. I went through immense abuse. Going back and seeing them again is going to cause that intense trauma to…

I’m not interested in going back to people whom I stopped speaking with. I already explained why multiple times. I don’t see anything pressurizing and scrutinizing Taylor Swift to be bestfriends with Kanye West and Kim. Why am I being hurt continuously when what happened to me was much more severe than what she went…

I don’t know why people repeat gossip girls. I heard it in Deadpool as well. I remember mastrubating to a smut scene when I was young. I have watched couple of episodes too. But I wasn’t attracted to anyone in it. I have already explained everything about my bisexuality as far as I have understood.…

I don’t remember exactly if my breath was bad when I went to crochet class. I remember being extremely stressed out and anxious because I didn’t know where that place is exactly. Going to new places alone stresses me too much and gives me anxiety. Even traveling alone at night. I’m slowly trying to get…

When I don’t drink water for a long time, I feel a bit weird in my mouth. But it gets fine after I drink water. Also, after I eat certain food my mouth feels weird. I wash my mouth and use mouth wash, after that it’s good again. This has reduced after I stopped eating…

Also, the men I’ve dated have always replied to my messages instantly. Thing were going good till it was sabotaged. There was a lot of immense shit which I’ve already spoken about and cleared.

I’m not an introvert. I’m an ambivert. If I like someone’s energy and when I feel comfortable with them, I open up. Otherwise it is just overwhelming and draining. … I’ve already said that I always take care my hygiene and I’ve been doing that since last few years. I expressed why I didn’t do…

Also, men always hit on me or make it sexual, so after a series and lifetime of horrific incidents, I always maintain distance and boundary. I’ve decided to not get too close to them as well. Because they always cross the line. It’s better to be close only to my partner. Whenever that is.

I used to call people I spoke to cute names in the past because I saw it on TV/book or someone used it on me and I was copying it. I stopped all that couple of years ago after I grew up. I haven’t done that in a really long time. They would do the…

I’ve already spoken about everything that has been making sense online. I do see a lot of manipulations that people have said, I’m not sure who said that exactly. So I haven’t spoken about it. I feel it’s because people are just bitter that I spoke the truth about what they did, so they are…

Savitha Nair would wear the same clothes she wears at home all day to the gym. So I mentioned once out of concern to keep separate clothes for gym. Because she was new to the gym scenario and I felt she didn’t know. Because she used to always copy everything I did at the gym…

After I moved to this apartment, I was initially very lonely. So I would randomly start conversations with people at gym with the intention of making friends. After a while I realised everyone are married here and it started getting a bit weird to be friends. Because it’s hard to be friends with married people…

My health is not good at the moment and I’m just focusing on getting better. I’m not really interested in texting, calling, meeting or socialising. I might be open to making friends after a year or after few months. Pressurizing and bullying me into talking to this unknown person is just making me hate that…

Also, I think I expressed this multiple times that I don’t text or call anyone, unless it’s important. It’s been more than a year that I’ve texted anyone. If someone reaches out, I will respond. That’s it.

People are taking things a bit too far. I know I’m strong but I’m being pushed over the edge. I don’t consider people I follow on Instagram as my friends because I don’t know anyone personally, just to be clear. I just like their work or music or content. That’s it. If people whom I…

I always knew I was different. I always had love for God and I kept talking to Him throughout and people kept misunderstanding me all the time. After whatever happened with Voldemort, I kept thinking something is wrong with me for a very long time. Till therapy. I get really scared sometimes because people might…

I’ve been writing here based on what I see online and everywhere else. I do understand that people are trying to make me talk. I am able to read what is happening but it takes time because I’m a bit slow. I just don’t get why everyone are obsessing over these minute details. Also, who…

The waitress at social spoke about my dark circles and weight and made a gesture with her hand. So I asked her about her eyebrows. She started it. I didn’t understand it fully about what she was doing until I reached home though. Also, I have already said everything about Deepak GS. There is nothing…

I’m so fed up. This has gone beyond what a person can take. I’m being questioned and doubted about everything. I’m not even sure why? I’ve already spoken about everything. Why is this prolonging?

I said what the waitress at 46 was doing is like therapy session because it was one sided problem dumping from her end for many months together. She was never available to listen to me. Also, after I told her I’m waiting for my money. I ended the conversation there. But she kept stretching it…

Honestly this has gone too far. I don’t know where all this is coming from and why people are doing and saying all this. People are doubting each and every thing. I’m not sure why because I have already spoken about everything. If it’s because of the Instagram post, I already explained and cleared why…

Ginny asked me my salary when we were dating. When I asked her, she said her salary is around 12 lpa. This is the only conversation we had about money. I don’t know anything else about her properly. I just know few basic details. We didn’t speak or discuss anything properly.

After Ginny, I met few men who were good looking and wealthy, who were interested in me. If that was what I was looking for I would have said yes to them. The only person I was interested in dating after Ginny was Krishna. But he didn’t like me back, so I left it and…

I’ve been in love with Ginny since I met her and I consistently spoke about it here. I don’t know why that is being doubted because I clearly said I don’t expect anything and it’s entirely upto her. This was just a place to let my feelings out. I have been speaking about her since…

I don’t know why the world feels it’s okay when someone spoils my name and reputation. But it’s not okay when I point out their mistakes. I don’t know why the world feels it’s okay that I suffered for years and went through enourmous pain, trauma and suffering because of a person. But it’s not…

I have never sent any cringey texts to anyone. I’m not sure who is it to? I have texted a lot of people in my life. Whoever it is they have to come forward and clarify. I can’t decode everything.

I don’t believe in trauma bonding because I always have bigger problems. Also, she has been continuously telling me all her problems since the very first time we spoke. And consistently every single time I went there. I always have headaches when I go there because I had a lot of things going on in…

There was absolutely nothing between us. As I said multiple times. The only thing that was happening was her telling me her problems every time I went there. Since the very first time we spoke. I had bigger problems. Apart from this, there was nothing happening. There was no connection nothing. Also, she was continuously…

The first time I spoke to winnie. I spoke to her because I wanted her to take my picture. She said I’m looking really hot and look my picture. I spoke casually and thanked her and came back to my table and she followed me. She started telling me her life story about everything and…

If there’s something that I have left out. It isn’t intentional. I’ve said everything as far as I remember. There are so many things that happened in my life, somethings just slip me by. You need to clarify it. Because I’m speaking the truth.

I am speaking the truth. People need to open their mouth and talk to clarify. I can’t read their minds.

People need to openly talk and say what these people said and clarify it with me. I will tell you how much truth is there in what they said. Whatever blunt words I’m using is just 50% of what each person did and what I went through because of them. I’m speaking the truth. I…

My blunt words are just 50% of what people did to me. I’ve said this a lot of times. I don’t know why the world is believing the manipulations and lies of people and hurting me when everyone knows I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m a really good friend to people who are good to…

People are just manipulating the truth because they are bitter. That’s what I have understood so far.

I get what everyone are trying to do. .. I never pointed out Dhruv’s pimples. Dhruv always had a lot of pimples on his nose but I never say anything because I’m not that person. The last time I met him it had reduced drastically. So I just said, what are you applying on your…

I spoke about everything that happened to me here because there are so many things that happened, no one knew about and so many misunderstandings and BS. I never speak about my trauma because honestly it’s not going to help me. If I want I can dump each and every thing that happened on my…

I feel really sick again. It’s October 1st 2.22AM. I can go on complaining about how everything that happened was so unfair. But I don’t want to. So instead I will just tell you the thoughts that’s running on my mind. I’m thinking in case if something happens to me, these things would be left…

People are hurting me online, so I said all this. I’m literally fed up of this. People should open their mouth and clarify whatever it is, if there’s something to say and get it over with. I cannot read minds to understand their intentions.

People are just lying and the world is believing their lies and hurting me.

There is so much more that happened with the person in social during our conversations. I’m not going into details, but I’ve said most of it. I’m saying the truth when I say we were never friends and I was never friends with others too. They are simply lying, please don’t believe them. People might…

People can’t hold me accountable for this when I’ve already spoken about everything. People do a lot of shit on daily basis and they are just being hypocritical if they are expecting me to do something they cannot themselves.

I already said multiple times, I have forgiven most of the people from my past. I care and love them as a human being from a distance. I cannot do more than this because for me to fight for a relationship there has to be a connection or some good memories. There’s neither with them.…

I remember the last time we met, I complained to Ginny saying I can’t wait for one hour again. So she came early. After the last time we met though, I’ve been waiting to meet her again. And it’s going to be 2 years in October.

Also, most important of all. Will didn’t fight for me. He kinda hurt me a lot at one point. I don’t want to go into details. But we were bestfriends for a long time. He was always good to me. We kept forgiving each other and stayed friends because we had a connection. Anyway, I…

I know I keep placing Will on the pedestal, that’s because he was good. I no longer love him, just to be clear. I stopped in 2022 before I met Ginny. We never met and when we finally did, he was married. Nothing happened. After we met my feelings came back because we had a…

People I knew are just bitter that I spoke the truth about them and I stripped off their mask, so they are shifting blame. Because I’m different it’s convenient for them to avoid accountability by turning it on me. Everything is over and done with. Please move on.

If people are insinuating that I liked Lucius, I didn’t. I used to compliment her, yes. But she used to compliment me more than that. She wasn’t even a good friend, she was really negative, kept taking advantage of me and using me as a doormat, she and her boyfriend were extremely shady. On top…

I called uber 3 times since yesterday asking for a refund for the rides because I was mentally assaulted by riders. There is absolutely nothing being done about it. They just fucking sent me an empathetic email. … I can’t relate to anything I see online anymore. I got few things, I spoke about it…

Honestly, whenever I went to social and 46, I haven’t thought about those people even once. It’s when I go there and see them that I remember them. I tried being friends few times, as I already said, but it didn’t work. So I let it go. Even when I used to talk and meet…

My retaliations are 50% of what that person would have done to me or what I would have gone through because of that person. I have suffered immensely because of them too. But the world chooses to be blindsided about my hurt and suffering. They choose to overlook every single thing that that person said…

There was honestly no connection or friendship between us. I’ve already said what happened with the person at 46 and Mr Naidu. I was speaking the truth about everything. I don’t know if there’s anything else left to say because as far as I know I’ve spoken about everything.

She keeps prying all the time and asks me personal questions again and again and again, when I don’t answer she doesn’t let it go till she gets the answer. She keeps a watch on me whenever I go there as well. Honestly the whole experience that I had was extremely weird, hurtful and overwhelming.

First and foremost I want to make it clear that I don’t go for looks. People might assume that based on my obsession about Ginny. Because Ginny is obviously really good looking. I was crazy in love with Will few years ago, I just didn’t write about it. He is the first person I fell…

I’ve dated couple of good looking men and even kissed them. But I haven’t felt anything much for them and I don’t really remember anything much about them too. But I’m unable to forget Ginny. I guess maybe it’s because, to put it in the language of little prince, she has tamed me. I haven’t…

I have fucking lost so much weight. I’m fed up.

I don’t feel like reading anymore and Magnolia Parks Universe is one of my favorite series. I’m literally so fed up.

People are just lying saying we were friends or they miss me etc. They might like me now and miss me now because of my YouTube. But if I was rotting somewhere in an unknown company. They would have continued treating me poorly. I know each and every person personally. Everything I say is the…

I hugged the waitress at social first two times we spoke because I’m always sweet and friendly. But after that she continuously mistreated me. Like constantly. I’ve written about most of it. When she started treating me badly I stopped engaging with her because I stopped liking her as a person. She has too many…

The only thing that the medicine does is heal my throbbing headache. That’s it. He did fuck up. You can ask him. He has been good most of the time. But he has been condescending towards me couple of times as well. It’s only after therapy and understanding what is happening around me that I…

I don’t know how the whole world is watching this monstrosity and choosing to stay quiet about it. Everyone knows I’m innocent.

I’ve done so much for this world since two years. This is how people are behaving because I spoke the truth about what happened to me. This is so fucking broken.

Because I spoke the truth about my experiences and someone else’s behavioural issues, people are hurting me and even want me dead. They are shifting blame and scrutinizing me. Whatever is happening cannot be justified. So don’t even try. This is extreme barbarism of humankind. Have the maturity to accep your mistakes instead of attacking…

The only reason I’m able to hold on right now is because I feel Ginny is going to come back. I’m literally so fed up. I haven’t done anything to deserve this shit. People did me shit. You should fucking scrutinize them, not me. Also, I’m not really looking for friends at the moment. When…

It’s when I was in love with Will that I was confused about my sexuality. I feel it’s when I fall in love and I have strong feelings for a man that my feelings gets mixed and I lean towards being bisexual. I don’t know for sure though.

Most of the time in the past, I was just repeating something someone did or said, without understanding what it meant. Also, I was immature and childish. On top of that I was fucked because of the constant assaults. It was just a big mess. I have written that mess here in the best way…

I don’t talk dirty to anyone. I did sext men I dated in the past. I’ve dated casually a lot. I did it for fun because I was young and naive. I liked it only with the men I said I’m interested in. Others it was meh and I was just doing it just for…

Also, masturbating and fantasising isn’t what heals me. It’s something else that I do. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t think it’ll work on anyone else but it works for me, so let’s just let it go.

I didn’t masturbate all night during childhood. I don’t know who the fuck said that. I did it quite often, yes. But that’s before I understood what it was. After I started talking to people and educating myself on everything by myself. It became really less. Also, I’ve gone years without doing it as well…

I’ve said everything. There’s absolutely nothing left to say. You can go back and read everything that I’ve said since the first blog. I’ve said every fucking thing. The only detail I have left out is my feelings for Will 5 years ago. I feel that should just be buried because he is happy and…

I don’t know why no one is doing anything about what is happening to me and putting an end to it. Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane and I’m speaking the truth.

I have been called biere library 7-8 times after the incident that happened to speak to the manager and they kept giving excuses after excuses. They also kept asking me my name and number. Today I called again, I didn’t say my name or any issue. They spoke to me and without asking my name…

Instead of questioning me about my sexuality when I’ve clearly explained everything. You should ask the waitress at 46 why she asked me to go to her house immediately after the pimple incident when we were strangers. Also, why she kept asking me 6-7 times after that to go to her house even though I…

I came back home and while having lunch, I asked mother to make an omlette, I don’t know what she did but it tasted really weird. I confronted mother and she created a scene and kept acting angry. There were multiple posts online during this entire time that was meant to hurt me as well.

Today I went to the temple. The uber driver in the morning started playing really loud music in the cab on the way to the temple. I took an auto to the restaurant, the auto driver spit on the road exactly when I was drinking water. I went to burma burma restaurant and the staff…

Today after I boiled the water myself. It tastes right and is not hurting my throat. My perfume smells extremely wrong. I don’t know who is doing what. Hence I’m being extremely transparent.

There are things like Jesus dying at the age of 33 and other things in the book I’m reading which I suppose is written to trigger me. I’m really sure how much is meant for me but there were certainly things that were meant for me. I’m not sure why people are attacking me through…

My retaliations are 50% of what people did to me. Also, they started it. I wanted to justify my retaliations, so I gave an overview of what they did here. There’s so much more to it. I’d rather die than talk to the people I stopped speaking to because I really don’t like them and…

I’m not ashamed of my bisexuality. I’m out and proud. I have a fucking tattoo on my wrist. I directly tell people when I like them. I don’t beat around the bush. I’ve said everything I’ve understood about it. I’ve also made a list. Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I like every tom dick…

I see the misunderstanding now. Whenever father sneezes I ask him to close his mouth and sneeze. By that I meant, close his mouth with his hand or hanky. I guess people would have thought I was asking him to stop? Omg. I don’t know what other misunderstandings like this does the world have about…

Mother and father have a lot of good qualities. I’m not going to sideline those and talk about only the bad. I think I’ve already said this. They have some not so good qualities to them and sometimes those qualities overpower the good in them. They need to consciously work on amplifying the good in…

I brush my teeth just two times a day. I don’t know why mother was saying things like I brush multiple times a day and what she was trying to do by saying that. Also, I’ve been feeling better since last few days. But today morning after I had the dosa mother made. I’m feeling…

I don’t know what exactly happened or what exactly is happening. But every single thing I’ve said is true. Based on the movies I watched, whatever I see online, books and what my therapist said. I do understand things. But as far as I know I’ve cleared everything. I don’t know why this is prolonging.

Today morning mother asked me to stop making content. She said my content is not good and everyone are laughing at me. She also says things like my therapist doesn’t care about me and she uses phone when I speak. She says so many other things like this. .. Also, I already explained that I…

My health is really bad. My mind is fucked too. Please don’t hurt me intentionally again. Atleast for a while. I’m having trouble making sense of things and I have really bad headaches almost daily.

Even if I’m shouting at something mother or father said, it is a normal reaction to years and years (lifetime) of abuse, assaults and trauma that they put me through. Also, there’s so much manipulation behind whatever they are doing. They are doing it intentionally. Anyone else in my place would most definitely react the…

People can wear white and black all they want, but it means absolutely nothing to me. If they are trying to convey or imply something, they should just say it and get it over with. Whatever they are doing holds no relavence to me. Invading in my personal space without my consent and constantly reacting…

Maybe there’s two sides to what happened and people who did me wrong would have given an extremely manipulative version of theirs. Hence the world is feeling for them and the world might think we should speak and be friends again. But the only memories I have of them is horrific. Even if the world…

I did have issues with my teeth up until few years ago. There was so much happening, I just didn’t do anything about it. But I’ve been taking care of myself regularly since couple of years ago. Also, the dentist I spoke about helped me so much previously. I’m not sure what happened now.

Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. Every single person who speaks to me knows that too, even my parents. There is so much immense manipulations. Someone is desperately trying to bring me down. I don’t know who it is. If there is something I haven’t spoken about, you need to ask me. As far as…

I’ve been using the same paste since many years. I have been feeling really weird in my mouth since last few days, now I realise why. My paste tastes extremely wrong like garlic. So many things are going on. I don’t know whom to say it to and how to get out of this situation.…

I don’t really have much peace of mind outside. On top of that I don’t have any peace at home as well. Mother doesn’t like it when things are going good and when people like me and I’m in a good place. She told me she wants me to suffer and die and she wants…

I don’t understand things when it happens, I understand it only after sometime. So I kept going back to the clinic. Honestly the whole experience was really weird and off. The doctor said I don’t need scalling one month back, but then when she did it after I insisted her to do. It stopped bleeding…

Also, I really don’t like father most of the time. His language, his anger issues, his violence and the way he treats mother. Most of the time it’s just terror. Things are much better now but not completely. Mother is good sometimes. But she is broken because of father and the past. Also, cause of…

I don’t know how much truth is there in what my mother did today. It’s like the boy who cried wolf. She has faked it so many times that no one really knows the truth anymore.

I was slightly mentally unstable for all these years because of the inhuman mental, sexual, psychological assaults, rape and the extreme domestic violence. Any normal person would have reacted the same way. I’m normal since last few months though because things are better now around me. I didn’t take care of my hygiene many years…

Everything that happened at home today morning was intentional as well. Mother started rolling on the floor and started creating extreme drama. She was faking it. I’m not sure why and what exactly is the intention behind it. I’m not sure if the world is watching all this, that’s why she was doing it. There…

Few months ago I went to crochet class and the teacher was extremely unethical. I didn’t have any bad breath at the time. I’ve been taking care of myself since last few years after I came out of the trauma. But the teacher closed her nose intentionally and did other things as well which was…

I feel Ginny might come back. But I can’t date under these circumstances. I’m really scared because my parents might sabotage it intentionally. They are extremely broken. I don’t know when they will do what. I’m scared of them. I need to move out.

When everything is going good at home is when I start getting scared. Because mother lives for drama and she will go to any extent to create it and make me shout. After she is successful in triggering me and I shout is when she constantly tries to gain leverage by willowing in drama and…

The dead body is the old me with unconditional love that the world killed.

Mother clearly knows my boundaries but she crosses it intentionally each time. She manipulates in a way to make it look extremely convincing. But she is just doing it for a reaction. She doesn’t really care much about me, neither does father. If they did, they wouldn’t have done whatever they did and treated me…

Father was boiling and being extremely violent today and he hit mother on the face. Whenever mother wants to stab me, she pretends like she wants to use the bathroom to come inside and then she stabs intentionally. When I react, she manipulates and plays the victim and thrives in drama. Father starts to boil…

Last year when I genuinely tried to find love and get married. All these perfect looking men with perfect car and perfect job and perfect bank account and perfect house and fucking perfect teeth were holding my hand and saying they want to marry me. Also, that they want to grow old with me and…

I don’t give up on people that easily. So if someone wants me to fight for them after things break between us. You need to give me something to fight for. Otherwise it’s just a baseless relationship that I’ll trash, heal and move on from.

Sorry I’m repeating myself. My mind is beyond and unimaginably fucked because of what happened and I’m just letting my thoughts flow here. It helps me. So kindly bear with me.

Whatever happened to me this last month was wrong and horrific. It cannot be justified. Even after relentlessly proving myself this last 2 years and baring my soul in front of the world, it was all thrown away in a second over someone’s lies and a misunderstanding. People even wanted me dead because I spoke…

People fuck up all the time. We are humans, we will most definitely fuck up time and time again in life. I feel if you have a connection or bond with that person, fuck ups can be ignored. Anything can be solved by speaking about it, putting in efforts and a genuine apology. Also, I…

Note. In reference to above blog. Sorry, I meant anology not apology.

If someone is spending their time and energy into writing a book, it is valuable. Not every book that you read need to have a purpose or need to be meaningful or even change the world. Sometimes it can just be a light silly book that you read when you are in the mood for…

Everyone already knows I’m innocent and sane. I’ve already spoken about everything and cleared it. I never asked anyone to make me famous, it was done without my knowledge. I’m not a fucking power hungry demigod. (I saw this on audible discover page) I just did my best with the cards I was handed with.…

This is in response to what I see online. Yes, my words are razor sharp. I have a fucking bow and arrow on my leg. If you don’t want me to kill you, stop poking me and waking up the Khaleesi inside me. .. Also, stop sending me pictures of women. I already said I’m…

Maybe this is not a story about a battle. Maybe this is a story of a little girl who kept praying for world peace even before she knew anything about this world. So God blessed her with abundance of love and made her the chosen one. Maybe this is a story of a little girl…

I expressed my dislike for couple of books long long ago, yes I agree. If I knew the whole world is listening back then, I wouldn’t have done that. I would have expressed it in a better way. Also, I was a newbie on booktube. I watched couple of similar videos, so I did the…

I speak in self deprecating way sometimes. Which I have understood may lead to misunderstandings. Also, I constantly feel I’m not good enough when I’m in love because of my past experiences. These are two things I’m working on rn. Also, sometimes I’m just awkward, I wish people didn’t overanalyze and break everything I say/do…

I was mentally unstable when I met Will, Ginny and my therapist. I give them important because they cared for me and respected me as a person even then. Will and Ginny loved me and saw me when others didn’t. They both have the same quality that I love the most about them, I cannot…

If those waitresses and Mr Naidu are saying we were “friends”, they are lying in front of the world. Because there was absolutely nothing between us. I’ve had much deeper connection with men I’ve casually dated in the past, tbh. People should learn to let it go. They are blowing things out of proportion for…

I don’t know why people are continuing to hurt me intentionally. I think their intention is for me to rekindle things with people I stopped speaking with. As I have already expressed multiple times, I’m genuinely not interested. I have forgiven them. I have care and love for them as a human being. But I…

Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth. I feel no one wants to accept it. I’m not sure what exactly is the reason though.

Also, it’s really important for the world to understand this. People are extremely manipulative and saving face because the world is listening. I have spoken about everything. It could be my fault because I let things escalate with them. I should have ended it sooner and set boundaries. Whatever harsh words I have used is…

(This is based on what I have understood) I was not smart growing up. I was good at things like studying, reading and things I often did. But I didn’t know anything back then. I started understanding a lot of things only after therapy and also, specifically after I started speaking to my current therapist.…

I’ve already spoken about everything and proved my innocence and sanity. Everything was cleared and done with. Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth. All this is happening after I spoke the truth about my experiences. People lack accountability and they lack the courage to accept they fucked up, so they are just shifting blame and…

I’ve already said everything and proved myself. I don’t know what people in the past must have said about me because no one really tells me anything. I’ve spoken about all the manipulations that people did as far as I’ve understood. I’ve accepted all my mistakes as well. There’s nothing else left for me to…

The last one month was really very stressful. In the heat of the moment and because of whatever was happening to me, I said a lot of things which was blunt. I want to apologise from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry if I hurt anyone with my words. I was not in my…

I still see reels and news online that is meant to hurt me. I’ve already spoken about everything, I’m not sure why people are scrutinizing me this way. This is wrong.

The product that I returned on Amazon is intentionally lost in transit and they are creating trouble with the refund. I’m going to write each and every manipulations here.

I have forgiven them and I care about them from a distance. I’m sorry but I can’t do more than this. It’s literally my choice who I allow in my close circle and whom I don’t. I’m entitled to this decision. Even if this continues till I die, my decision holds.

If this is continuing because people are expecting me to be friends with people I stopped talking to. This is fucking ridiculous. I already explained everything. I’m not interested. I don’t like, care or miss them. They haven’t done anything for me to fight for it as well. I can’t fake friendships and I don’t…

I’ve spoken about everything. I was the one who was sexually assaulted continuously by psychopaths and ogled at by creepy disgusting people all my life. Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I like every single person I see. Also, it’s just online and very rare. I’m not sure what people want from me and what…

People are being so ungrateful. I’ve helped so much to make things better for everyone and this is what is happening to me now.

Volunteers on the road continuously try to attack me every single time I step out too. I don’t know why the government is staying quiet about this. Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth.

Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. This is continuing because people lack accountability and someone is desperately trying to save face. I don’t want to die for someone else’s fuck ups. I’m openly talking about every scrutinizy in front of the world, so incase something happens to me tomorrow, you know who’s responsible.

I’m openly bisexual. I’m out and proud. I’ve explained each and every thing I’ve understood about my bisexuality. I’ve taken names of people I’ve liked as well. If you hear something that doesn’t align with what I’ve said, you can easily catch the lie. I’ve shamelessly and openly spoken about each and every thing about…

People are trying their best to make me sick. They are sending me reels of the character I relate to dying and they trigger me through news as well. They are trying their very best to make me suspicious. I called audible support and he tried to trigger me via book title by recommending a…

I see a lot of things online meant to hurt me as well. People are just trying to bring me down. As I’ve already said multiple times. I’ve spoken about everything and accepted all my mistakes as well. This is continuing because people around me lack the capability and courage to accept theirs. Also, people…

I booked uber auto in the morning, it showed 2 minutes away. The driver made me wait for 6-7 minutes and still didn’t come. I called him, he made an excuse and cancelled the ride. There was a spider in the water of my water bottle when I went out today. There was a man…