Category: Uncategorized
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Note.
I was listening to days at the morisaki bookshop and it was like a personal attack in the second part. I’m not sure why the authors are attacking me through books this way. Whatever they are saying is false though and far away from the truth. But it’s making me not want to read again.…
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Every single thing I’ve said is true. People are just helping each other to save face in front of the world. So much internal manipulations. This needs to stop.
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Yesterday when I went to the temple. I had been to brigade road. Cabs cancelled on me 10 times by giving lame excuse each time. When I spoke to the customer service even they tried their best to hurt me. This was intentional. After that I went to Taiki. They have named one of their…
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I’m sure there’s two sides to the story with Taylor and Kim too. If you don’t expect something from Taylor, stop fucking expecting it from me. You can talk and advocate all you want, I will listen and acknowledge. But whatever I said holds. Stop being so fucking hypocritical and expect me to do something…
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When Taylor Swift decides to be bestfriends with Kanye West and Kim again. I will consider talking to people who are claiming to miss me again but only after they reach out and redeem themselves. End of discussion. Period.
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Please don’t compare these manipulative two faced people to greatest friends in the history and disgrace their names. I haven’t given word by word explanation, that’s it. But I’m speaking the truth. I know each person personally, I know who they are and what they are. If the world is falling for their shit, I…
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Quotes of the day.
.. “You showed who you are and one magical night, I forgot that you existed. It isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s indifference.” – Taylor Swift✨ .. “You call me, all friendly, tellin’ me how much you miss me. That’s funny, I guess you’ve heard my songs. I wasn’t born yesterday, so I cut you…
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Quotes of the day.
.. “Shade never made anybody less gay, you need to calm down.” – Taylor Swift✨ .. “My give a fucks are on vacation.” – Sabrina Carpenter. ..
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Maybe people who did me wrong would have changed and would have realised their mistakes and would be repenting. Maybe they haven’t and they are just bitter and they must be secretly wishing that I die. No one knows. But I do know about me. I know that before letting them go I let a…
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I’m sure Mr Naidu would have changed as a person because he realised his mistake and apologized. I was just trying to make a point. I’m sorry about using him as an example. Please don’t feel bad.
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Mother is so much better than so many educated people I know. Mr Naidu is an educated man who worries about who smiles at him and who doesn’t, he supports war and is okay with people dying, he thinks death of a family member is trivial and constantly cribs about his wife. Father is 100…
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You should question the integrity of people rather than taunting me. Because I always speak the truth. … I value people who sit with me in the dirt and storm. Not people who continuously stamp on me in the dirt and storm and walk away. And come back later when there is a rainbow, when…
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Dobby is one of the finest and the most extraordinary friend in history. If I’m ever lucky to find someone like him. I’ll be the most luckiest person and I’ll never let that person go. Unfortunately, I haven’t till date.
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I’ve already proved myself and cleared everything. It’s really important for the world to understand that people are just bitter that I spoke the truth about them, so they are trying to bring me down by spreading false information to spoil my reputation. They are using my past misunderstandings to make it sound convincing. I’m…
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Also, father is 100 times better than Mr Naidu. Father has a good heart and better values. He had anger issues. But he has drastically changed now. He is constantly trying as well. … Sometimes I don’t like parents but I like them sometimes. I forgave them long ago. Also, since they are old now.…
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If someone is comparing themselves to Dobby. Fucking match up to Dobby’s standards. Because if I find someone who genuinely loves and cares about me like how Dobby does Harry. I will never let that person go because I know how valuable Dobby is. … Also, I don’t go for looks. I don’t know who…
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I’ve said this multiple times that my retaliations are just 20-50% of what that person did to me. I’ve gone through immense suffering because of that person and I was just speaking back. I don’t know why people are not ready to see my suffering and pain?
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I know for a fact that everyone knows I’m speaking the truth. I’ve already cleared everything. Whatever is happening on Instagram and wherever I go is intentional and people are trying to hurt me intentionally. I don’t know why though?
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Dudley is extremely jealous of me and my life. She knew I’m good but she constantly tried to bring me down and defeat me. She has been competing with me since childhood in a really toxic unhealthy way. She used my helplessness for ulterior motives as well. She did so many things. She is extremely…
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I don’t know what “I can’t see” is supposed to imply? I saw it two times. I don’t know if it’s meant for me or an Instragram trend. I’m not aware of the trends.
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There are few people who stopped speaking to me whom I miss a lot because they genuinely cared about me. I have felt so much love whenever they spoke to me, like neethu and few other people. They always loved and helped me so much. They respected me as well and wanted to see me…
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I have never felt any genuine love and care from the people whom I stopped speaking to. There are so much manipulations that goes on constantly because of the situation I’m in and because I’m in the public eye. It’s extremely sad and heartbreaking because I hardly meet people who are genuine and who care…
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When I find genuine love and care, I reciprocate it and I hold on tight to it because it’s really hard to find that. I never let go of that and I will always fight for it. You need to trust my words.
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I know clearly who is genuine and who isn’t. Whose doing it for the attention and who isn’t. Who cares and loves me and who doesn’t. You need to trust me.
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I always speak the truth, you need to trust me. People are extremely manipulative because I’m in the public eye. I know the truth. My values are always in place.
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If people whom I stopped speaking with are reminiscing and saying we were friends and they like me etc, they are just lying and manipulating in front of the world. I know each and every person personally and I remember each and every conversation we’ve had. If I’m saying there was nothing and we weren’t…
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Each person has caused really intense severe trauma that I took a really long time to come out of and heal. There are so many other things that has happened which I haven’t spoken about here. I went through immense abuse. Going back and seeing them again is going to cause that intense trauma to…
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I’m not interested in going back to people whom I stopped speaking with. I already explained why multiple times. I don’t see anything pressurizing and scrutinizing Taylor Swift to be bestfriends with Kanye West and Kim. Why am I being hurt continuously when what happened to me was much more severe than what she went…
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I don’t know why people repeat gossip girls. I heard it in Deadpool as well. I remember mastrubating to a smut scene when I was young. I have watched couple of episodes too. But I wasn’t attracted to anyone in it. I have already explained everything about my bisexuality as far as I have understood.…
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I don’t remember exactly if my breath was bad when I went to crochet class. I remember being extremely stressed out and anxious because I didn’t know where that place is exactly. Going to new places alone stresses me too much and gives me anxiety. Even traveling alone at night. I’m slowly trying to get…
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When I don’t drink water for a long time, I feel a bit weird in my mouth. But it gets fine after I drink water. Also, after I eat certain food my mouth feels weird. I wash my mouth and use mouth wash, after that it’s good again. This has reduced after I stopped eating…
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Also, the men I’ve dated have always replied to my messages instantly. Thing were going good till it was sabotaged. There was a lot of immense shit which I’ve already spoken about and cleared.
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I’m not an introvert. I’m an ambivert. If I like someone’s energy and when I feel comfortable with them, I open up. Otherwise it is just overwhelming and draining. … I’ve already said that I always take care my hygiene and I’ve been doing that since last few years. I expressed why I didn’t do…
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Also, men always hit on me or make it sexual, so after a series and lifetime of horrific incidents, I always maintain distance and boundary. I’ve decided to not get too close to them as well. Because they always cross the line. It’s better to be close only to my partner. Whenever that is.
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I used to call people I spoke to cute names in the past because I saw it on TV/book or someone used it on me and I was copying it. I stopped all that couple of years ago after I grew up. I haven’t done that in a really long time. They would do the…
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I’ve already spoken about everything that has been making sense online. I do see a lot of manipulations that people have said, I’m not sure who said that exactly. So I haven’t spoken about it. I feel it’s because people are just bitter that I spoke the truth about what they did, so they are…
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Savitha Nair would wear the same clothes she wears at home all day to the gym. So I mentioned once out of concern to keep separate clothes for gym. Because she was new to the gym scenario and I felt she didn’t know. Because she used to always copy everything I did at the gym…
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After I moved to this apartment, I was initially very lonely. So I would randomly start conversations with people at gym with the intention of making friends. After a while I realised everyone are married here and it started getting a bit weird to be friends. Because it’s hard to be friends with married people…
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My health is not good at the moment and I’m just focusing on getting better. I’m not really interested in texting, calling, meeting or socialising. I might be open to making friends after a year or after few months. Pressurizing and bullying me into talking to this unknown person is just making me hate that…
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Also, I think I expressed this multiple times that I don’t text or call anyone, unless it’s important. It’s been more than a year that I’ve texted anyone. If someone reaches out, I will respond. That’s it.
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People are taking things a bit too far. I know I’m strong but I’m being pushed over the edge. I don’t consider people I follow on Instagram as my friends because I don’t know anyone personally, just to be clear. I just like their work or music or content. That’s it. If people whom I…
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I always knew I was different. I always had love for God and I kept talking to Him throughout and people kept misunderstanding me all the time. After whatever happened with Voldemort, I kept thinking something is wrong with me for a very long time. Till therapy. I get really scared sometimes because people might…
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I’ve been writing here based on what I see online and everywhere else. I do understand that people are trying to make me talk. I am able to read what is happening but it takes time because I’m a bit slow. I just don’t get why everyone are obsessing over these minute details. Also, who…
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The waitress at social spoke about my dark circles and weight and made a gesture with her hand. So I asked her about her eyebrows. She started it. I didn’t understand it fully about what she was doing until I reached home though. Also, I have already said everything about Deepak GS. There is nothing…
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I’m so fed up. This has gone beyond what a person can take. I’m being questioned and doubted about everything. I’m not even sure why? I’ve already spoken about everything. Why is this prolonging?
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I said what the waitress at 46 was doing is like therapy session because it was one sided problem dumping from her end for many months together. She was never available to listen to me. Also, after I told her I’m waiting for my money. I ended the conversation there. But she kept stretching it…
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Honestly this has gone too far. I don’t know where all this is coming from and why people are doing and saying all this. People are doubting each and every thing. I’m not sure why because I have already spoken about everything. If it’s because of the Instagram post, I already explained and cleared why…
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Ginny asked me my salary when we were dating. When I asked her, she said her salary is around 12 lpa. This is the only conversation we had about money. I don’t know anything else about her properly. I just know few basic details. We didn’t speak or discuss anything properly.
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After Ginny, I met few men who were good looking and wealthy, who were interested in me. If that was what I was looking for I would have said yes to them. The only person I was interested in dating after Ginny was Krishna. But he didn’t like me back, so I left it and…
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I’ve been in love with Ginny since I met her and I consistently spoke about it here. I don’t know why that is being doubted because I clearly said I don’t expect anything and it’s entirely upto her. This was just a place to let my feelings out. I have been speaking about her since…
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I don’t know why the world feels it’s okay when someone spoils my name and reputation. But it’s not okay when I point out their mistakes. I don’t know why the world feels it’s okay that I suffered for years and went through enourmous pain, trauma and suffering because of a person. But it’s not…
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I have never sent any cringey texts to anyone. I’m not sure who is it to? I have texted a lot of people in my life. Whoever it is they have to come forward and clarify. I can’t decode everything.
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I don’t believe in trauma bonding because I always have bigger problems. Also, she has been continuously telling me all her problems since the very first time we spoke. And consistently every single time I went there. I always have headaches when I go there because I had a lot of things going on in…
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There was absolutely nothing between us. As I said multiple times. The only thing that was happening was her telling me her problems every time I went there. Since the very first time we spoke. I had bigger problems. Apart from this, there was nothing happening. There was no connection nothing. Also, she was continuously…
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The first time I spoke to winnie. I spoke to her because I wanted her to take my picture. She said I’m looking really hot and look my picture. I spoke casually and thanked her and came back to my table and she followed me. She started telling me her life story about everything and…
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If there’s something that I have left out. It isn’t intentional. I’ve said everything as far as I remember. There are so many things that happened in my life, somethings just slip me by. You need to clarify it. Because I’m speaking the truth.
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I am speaking the truth. People need to open their mouth and talk to clarify. I can’t read their minds.
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People need to openly talk and say what these people said and clarify it with me. I will tell you how much truth is there in what they said. Whatever blunt words I’m using is just 50% of what each person did and what I went through because of them. I’m speaking the truth. I…
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My blunt words are just 50% of what people did to me. I’ve said this a lot of times. I don’t know why the world is believing the manipulations and lies of people and hurting me when everyone knows I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m a really good friend to people who are good to…
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People are just manipulating the truth because they are bitter. That’s what I have understood so far.
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I get what everyone are trying to do. .. I never pointed out Dhruv’s pimples. Dhruv always had a lot of pimples on his nose but I never say anything because I’m not that person. The last time I met him it had reduced drastically. So I just said, what are you applying on your…
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I spoke about everything that happened to me here because there are so many things that happened, no one knew about and so many misunderstandings and BS. I never speak about my trauma because honestly it’s not going to help me. If I want I can dump each and every thing that happened on my…
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I feel really sick again. It’s October 1st 2.22AM. I can go on complaining about how everything that happened was so unfair. But I don’t want to. So instead I will just tell you the thoughts that’s running on my mind. I’m thinking in case if something happens to me, these things would be left…
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People are hurting me online, so I said all this. I’m literally fed up of this. People should open their mouth and clarify whatever it is, if there’s something to say and get it over with. I cannot read minds to understand their intentions.
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There is so much more that happened with the person in social during our conversations. I’m not going into details, but I’ve said most of it. I’m saying the truth when I say we were never friends and I was never friends with others too. They are simply lying, please don’t believe them. People might…
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People can’t hold me accountable for this when I’ve already spoken about everything. People do a lot of shit on daily basis and they are just being hypocritical if they are expecting me to do something they cannot themselves.
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I already said multiple times, I have forgiven most of the people from my past. I care and love them as a human being from a distance. I cannot do more than this because for me to fight for a relationship there has to be a connection or some good memories. There’s neither with them.…
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I remember the last time we met, I complained to Ginny saying I can’t wait for one hour again. So she came early. After the last time we met though, I’ve been waiting to meet her again. And it’s going to be 2 years in October.
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Also, most important of all. Will didn’t fight for me. He kinda hurt me a lot at one point. I don’t want to go into details. But we were bestfriends for a long time. He was always good to me. We kept forgiving each other and stayed friends because we had a connection. Anyway, I…
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I know I keep placing Will on the pedestal, that’s because he was good. I no longer love him, just to be clear. I stopped in 2022 before I met Ginny. We never met and when we finally did, he was married. Nothing happened. After we met my feelings came back because we had a…
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People I knew are just bitter that I spoke the truth about them and I stripped off their mask, so they are shifting blame. Because I’m different it’s convenient for them to avoid accountability by turning it on me. Everything is over and done with. Please move on.
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If people are insinuating that I liked Lucius, I didn’t. I used to compliment her, yes. But she used to compliment me more than that. She wasn’t even a good friend, she was really negative, kept taking advantage of me and using me as a doormat, she and her boyfriend were extremely shady. On top…
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I called uber 3 times since yesterday asking for a refund for the rides because I was mentally assaulted by riders. There is absolutely nothing being done about it. They just fucking sent me an empathetic email. … I can’t relate to anything I see online anymore. I got few things, I spoke about it…
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Honestly, whenever I went to social and 46, I haven’t thought about those people even once. It’s when I go there and see them that I remember them. I tried being friends few times, as I already said, but it didn’t work. So I let it go. Even when I used to talk and meet…
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My retaliations are 50% of what that person would have done to me or what I would have gone through because of that person. I have suffered immensely because of them too. But the world chooses to be blindsided about my hurt and suffering. They choose to overlook every single thing that that person said…
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There was honestly no connection or friendship between us. I’ve already said what happened with the person at 46 and Mr Naidu. I was speaking the truth about everything. I don’t know if there’s anything else left to say because as far as I know I’ve spoken about everything.
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She keeps prying all the time and asks me personal questions again and again and again, when I don’t answer she doesn’t let it go till she gets the answer. She keeps a watch on me whenever I go there as well. Honestly the whole experience that I had was extremely weird, hurtful and overwhelming.
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First and foremost I want to make it clear that I don’t go for looks. People might assume that based on my obsession about Ginny. Because Ginny is obviously really good looking. I was crazy in love with Will few years ago, I just didn’t write about it. He is the first person I fell…
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I’ve dated couple of good looking men and even kissed them. But I haven’t felt anything much for them and I don’t really remember anything much about them too. But I’m unable to forget Ginny. I guess maybe it’s because, to put it in the language of little prince, she has tamed me. I haven’t…
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I don’t feel like reading anymore and Magnolia Parks Universe is one of my favorite series. I’m literally so fed up.
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People are just lying saying we were friends or they miss me etc. They might like me now and miss me now because of my YouTube. But if I was rotting somewhere in an unknown company. They would have continued treating me poorly. I know each and every person personally. Everything I say is the…
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I hugged the waitress at social first two times we spoke because I’m always sweet and friendly. But after that she continuously mistreated me. Like constantly. I’ve written about most of it. When she started treating me badly I stopped engaging with her because I stopped liking her as a person. She has too many…
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The only thing that the medicine does is heal my throbbing headache. That’s it. He did fuck up. You can ask him. He has been good most of the time. But he has been condescending towards me couple of times as well. It’s only after therapy and understanding what is happening around me that I…
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I don’t know how the whole world is watching this monstrosity and choosing to stay quiet about it. Everyone knows I’m innocent.
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I’ve done so much for this world since two years. This is how people are behaving because I spoke the truth about what happened to me. This is so fucking broken.
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Because I spoke the truth about my experiences and someone else’s behavioural issues, people are hurting me and even want me dead. They are shifting blame and scrutinizing me. Whatever is happening cannot be justified. So don’t even try. This is extreme barbarism of humankind. Have the maturity to accep your mistakes instead of attacking…
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The only reason I’m able to hold on right now is because I feel Ginny is going to come back. I’m literally so fed up. I haven’t done anything to deserve this shit. People did me shit. You should fucking scrutinize them, not me. Also, I’m not really looking for friends at the moment. When…
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It’s when I was in love with Will that I was confused about my sexuality. I feel it’s when I fall in love and I have strong feelings for a man that my feelings gets mixed and I lean towards being bisexual. I don’t know for sure though.
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Most of the time in the past, I was just repeating something someone did or said, without understanding what it meant. Also, I was immature and childish. On top of that I was fucked because of the constant assaults. It was just a big mess. I have written that mess here in the best way…
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I don’t talk dirty to anyone. I did sext men I dated in the past. I’ve dated casually a lot. I did it for fun because I was young and naive. I liked it only with the men I said I’m interested in. Others it was meh and I was just doing it just for…
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Also, masturbating and fantasising isn’t what heals me. It’s something else that I do. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t think it’ll work on anyone else but it works for me, so let’s just let it go.
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I didn’t masturbate all night during childhood. I don’t know who the fuck said that. I did it quite often, yes. But that’s before I understood what it was. After I started talking to people and educating myself on everything by myself. It became really less. Also, I’ve gone years without doing it as well…
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I’ve said everything. There’s absolutely nothing left to say. You can go back and read everything that I’ve said since the first blog. I’ve said every fucking thing. The only detail I have left out is my feelings for Will 5 years ago. I feel that should just be buried because he is happy and…
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I don’t know why no one is doing anything about what is happening to me and putting an end to it. Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane and I’m speaking the truth.
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I have been called biere library 7-8 times after the incident that happened to speak to the manager and they kept giving excuses after excuses. They also kept asking me my name and number. Today I called again, I didn’t say my name or any issue. They spoke to me and without asking my name…
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Instead of questioning me about my sexuality when I’ve clearly explained everything. You should ask the waitress at 46 why she asked me to go to her house immediately after the pimple incident when we were strangers. Also, why she kept asking me 6-7 times after that to go to her house even though I…
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I came back home and while having lunch, I asked mother to make an omlette, I don’t know what she did but it tasted really weird. I confronted mother and she created a scene and kept acting angry. There were multiple posts online during this entire time that was meant to hurt me as well.
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Today I went to the temple. The uber driver in the morning started playing really loud music in the cab on the way to the temple. I took an auto to the restaurant, the auto driver spit on the road exactly when I was drinking water. I went to burma burma restaurant and the staff…
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Today after I boiled the water myself. It tastes right and is not hurting my throat. My perfume smells extremely wrong. I don’t know who is doing what. Hence I’m being extremely transparent.
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There are things like Jesus dying at the age of 33 and other things in the book I’m reading which I suppose is written to trigger me. I’m really sure how much is meant for me but there were certainly things that were meant for me. I’m not sure why people are attacking me through…
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My retaliations are 50% of what people did to me. Also, they started it. I wanted to justify my retaliations, so I gave an overview of what they did here. There’s so much more to it. I’d rather die than talk to the people I stopped speaking to because I really don’t like them and…
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I’m not ashamed of my bisexuality. I’m out and proud. I have a fucking tattoo on my wrist. I directly tell people when I like them. I don’t beat around the bush. I’ve said everything I’ve understood about it. I’ve also made a list. Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I like every tom dick…
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I see the misunderstanding now. Whenever father sneezes I ask him to close his mouth and sneeze. By that I meant, close his mouth with his hand or hanky. I guess people would have thought I was asking him to stop? Omg. I don’t know what other misunderstandings like this does the world have about…
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Mother and father have a lot of good qualities. I’m not going to sideline those and talk about only the bad. I think I’ve already said this. They have some not so good qualities to them and sometimes those qualities overpower the good in them. They need to consciously work on amplifying the good in…
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I brush my teeth just two times a day. I don’t know why mother was saying things like I brush multiple times a day and what she was trying to do by saying that. Also, I’ve been feeling better since last few days. But today morning after I had the dosa mother made. I’m feeling…
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I don’t know what exactly happened or what exactly is happening. But every single thing I’ve said is true. Based on the movies I watched, whatever I see online, books and what my therapist said. I do understand things. But as far as I know I’ve cleared everything. I don’t know why this is prolonging.
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Today morning mother asked me to stop making content. She said my content is not good and everyone are laughing at me. She also says things like my therapist doesn’t care about me and she uses phone when I speak. She says so many other things like this. .. Also, I already explained that I…
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My health is really bad. My mind is fucked too. Please don’t hurt me intentionally again. Atleast for a while. I’m having trouble making sense of things and I have really bad headaches almost daily.
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Even if I’m shouting at something mother or father said, it is a normal reaction to years and years (lifetime) of abuse, assaults and trauma that they put me through. Also, there’s so much manipulation behind whatever they are doing. They are doing it intentionally. Anyone else in my place would most definitely react the…
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People can wear white and black all they want, but it means absolutely nothing to me. If they are trying to convey or imply something, they should just say it and get it over with. Whatever they are doing holds no relavence to me. Invading in my personal space without my consent and constantly reacting…
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Maybe there’s two sides to what happened and people who did me wrong would have given an extremely manipulative version of theirs. Hence the world is feeling for them and the world might think we should speak and be friends again. But the only memories I have of them is horrific. Even if the world…
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I did have issues with my teeth up until few years ago. There was so much happening, I just didn’t do anything about it. But I’ve been taking care of myself regularly since couple of years ago. Also, the dentist I spoke about helped me so much previously. I’m not sure what happened now.
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Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. Every single person who speaks to me knows that too, even my parents. There is so much immense manipulations. Someone is desperately trying to bring me down. I don’t know who it is. If there is something I haven’t spoken about, you need to ask me. As far as…
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I’ve been using the same paste since many years. I have been feeling really weird in my mouth since last few days, now I realise why. My paste tastes extremely wrong like garlic. So many things are going on. I don’t know whom to say it to and how to get out of this situation.…
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I don’t really have much peace of mind outside. On top of that I don’t have any peace at home as well. Mother doesn’t like it when things are going good and when people like me and I’m in a good place. She told me she wants me to suffer and die and she wants…
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Note.
I don’t understand things when it happens, I understand it only after sometime. So I kept going back to the clinic. Honestly the whole experience was really weird and off. The doctor said I don’t need scalling one month back, but then when she did it after I insisted her to do. It stopped bleeding…
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Note.
Also, I really don’t like father most of the time. His language, his anger issues, his violence and the way he treats mother. Most of the time it’s just terror. Things are much better now but not completely. Mother is good sometimes. But she is broken because of father and the past. Also, cause of…
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Note.
I don’t know how much truth is there in what my mother did today. It’s like the boy who cried wolf. She has faked it so many times that no one really knows the truth anymore.
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Note.
I was slightly mentally unstable for all these years because of the inhuman mental, sexual, psychological assaults, rape and the extreme domestic violence. Any normal person would have reacted the same way. I’m normal since last few months though because things are better now around me. I didn’t take care of my hygiene many years…
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Note.
Everything that happened at home today morning was intentional as well. Mother started rolling on the floor and started creating extreme drama. She was faking it. I’m not sure why and what exactly is the intention behind it. I’m not sure if the world is watching all this, that’s why she was doing it. There…
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Note.
Few months ago I went to crochet class and the teacher was extremely unethical. I didn’t have any bad breath at the time. I’ve been taking care of myself since last few years after I came out of the trauma. But the teacher closed her nose intentionally and did other things as well which was…
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Note.
I feel Ginny might come back. But I can’t date under these circumstances. I’m really scared because my parents might sabotage it intentionally. They are extremely broken. I don’t know when they will do what. I’m scared of them. I need to move out.
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Note.
When everything is going good at home is when I start getting scared. Because mother lives for drama and she will go to any extent to create it and make me shout. After she is successful in triggering me and I shout is when she constantly tries to gain leverage by willowing in drama and…
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Note.
Mother clearly knows my boundaries but she crosses it intentionally each time. She manipulates in a way to make it look extremely convincing. But she is just doing it for a reaction. She doesn’t really care much about me, neither does father. If they did, they wouldn’t have done whatever they did and treated me…
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Note.
Father was boiling and being extremely violent today and he hit mother on the face. Whenever mother wants to stab me, she pretends like she wants to use the bathroom to come inside and then she stabs intentionally. When I react, she manipulates and plays the victim and thrives in drama. Father starts to boil…
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Note.
Last year when I genuinely tried to find love and get married. All these perfect looking men with perfect car and perfect job and perfect bank account and perfect house and fucking perfect teeth were holding my hand and saying they want to marry me. Also, that they want to grow old with me and…
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Note.
I don’t give up on people that easily. So if someone wants me to fight for them after things break between us. You need to give me something to fight for. Otherwise it’s just a baseless relationship that I’ll trash, heal and move on from.
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Note.
Sorry I’m repeating myself. My mind is beyond and unimaginably fucked because of what happened and I’m just letting my thoughts flow here. It helps me. So kindly bear with me.
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Note.
Whatever happened to me this last month was wrong and horrific. It cannot be justified. Even after relentlessly proving myself this last 2 years and baring my soul in front of the world, it was all thrown away in a second over someone’s lies and a misunderstanding. People even wanted me dead because I spoke…
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Note.
People fuck up all the time. We are humans, we will most definitely fuck up time and time again in life. I feel if you have a connection or bond with that person, fuck ups can be ignored. Anything can be solved by speaking about it, putting in efforts and a genuine apology. Also, I…
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Note.
If someone is spending their time and energy into writing a book, it is valuable. Not every book that you read need to have a purpose or need to be meaningful or even change the world. Sometimes it can just be a light silly book that you read when you are in the mood for…
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Note.
Everyone already knows I’m innocent and sane. I’ve already spoken about everything and cleared it. I never asked anyone to make me famous, it was done without my knowledge. I’m not a fucking power hungry demigod. (I saw this on audible discover page) I just did my best with the cards I was handed with.…
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Note.
This is in response to what I see online. Yes, my words are razor sharp. I have a fucking bow and arrow on my leg. If you don’t want me to kill you, stop poking me and waking up the Khaleesi inside me. .. Also, stop sending me pictures of women. I already said I’m…
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Note.
Maybe this is not a story about a battle. Maybe this is a story of a little girl who kept praying for world peace even before she knew anything about this world. So God blessed her with abundance of love and made her the chosen one. Maybe this is a story of a little girl…
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Note.
I expressed my dislike for couple of books long long ago, yes I agree. If I knew the whole world is listening back then, I wouldn’t have done that. I would have expressed it in a better way. Also, I was a newbie on booktube. I watched couple of similar videos, so I did the…
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Note.
I speak in self deprecating way sometimes. Which I have understood may lead to misunderstandings. Also, I constantly feel I’m not good enough when I’m in love because of my past experiences. These are two things I’m working on rn. Also, sometimes I’m just awkward, I wish people didn’t overanalyze and break everything I say/do…
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Note.
I was mentally unstable when I met Will, Ginny and my therapist. I give them important because they cared for me and respected me as a person even then. Will and Ginny loved me and saw me when others didn’t. They both have the same quality that I love the most about them, I cannot…
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Note.
If those waitresses and Mr Naidu are saying we were “friends”, they are lying in front of the world. Because there was absolutely nothing between us. I’ve had much deeper connection with men I’ve casually dated in the past, tbh. People should learn to let it go. They are blowing things out of proportion for…
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Note.
I don’t know why people are continuing to hurt me intentionally. I think their intention is for me to rekindle things with people I stopped speaking with. As I have already expressed multiple times, I’m genuinely not interested. I have forgiven them. I have care and love for them as a human being. But I…
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Note.
Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth. I feel no one wants to accept it. I’m not sure what exactly is the reason though.
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Note.
Also, it’s really important for the world to understand this. People are extremely manipulative and saving face because the world is listening. I have spoken about everything. It could be my fault because I let things escalate with them. I should have ended it sooner and set boundaries. Whatever harsh words I have used is…
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Note.
(This is based on what I have understood) I was not smart growing up. I was good at things like studying, reading and things I often did. But I didn’t know anything back then. I started understanding a lot of things only after therapy and also, specifically after I started speaking to my current therapist.…
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Note.
I’ve already spoken about everything and proved my innocence and sanity. Everything was cleared and done with. Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth. All this is happening after I spoke the truth about my experiences. People lack accountability and they lack the courage to accept they fucked up, so they are just shifting blame and…
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Note.
I’ve already said everything and proved myself. I don’t know what people in the past must have said about me because no one really tells me anything. I’ve spoken about all the manipulations that people did as far as I’ve understood. I’ve accepted all my mistakes as well. There’s nothing else left for me to…
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Note.
The last one month was really very stressful. In the heat of the moment and because of whatever was happening to me, I said a lot of things which was blunt. I want to apologise from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry if I hurt anyone with my words. I was not in my…
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Note.
I still see reels and news online that is meant to hurt me. I’ve already spoken about everything, I’m not sure why people are scrutinizing me this way. This is wrong.
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Note.
The product that I returned on Amazon is intentionally lost in transit and they are creating trouble with the refund. I’m going to write each and every manipulations here.
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Note.
I have forgiven them and I care about them from a distance. I’m sorry but I can’t do more than this. It’s literally my choice who I allow in my close circle and whom I don’t. I’m entitled to this decision. Even if this continues till I die, my decision holds.
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Note.
If this is continuing because people are expecting me to be friends with people I stopped talking to. This is fucking ridiculous. I already explained everything. I’m not interested. I don’t like, care or miss them. They haven’t done anything for me to fight for it as well. I can’t fake friendships and I don’t…
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Note.
I’ve spoken about everything. I was the one who was sexually assaulted continuously by psychopaths and ogled at by creepy disgusting people all my life. Just because I’m bisexual doesn’t mean I like every single person I see. Also, it’s just online and very rare. I’m not sure what people want from me and what…
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Note.
People are being so ungrateful. I’ve helped so much to make things better for everyone and this is what is happening to me now.
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Note.
Volunteers on the road continuously try to attack me every single time I step out too. I don’t know why the government is staying quiet about this. Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth.
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Note.
Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. This is continuing because people lack accountability and someone is desperately trying to save face. I don’t want to die for someone else’s fuck ups. I’m openly talking about every scrutinizy in front of the world, so incase something happens to me tomorrow, you know who’s responsible.
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Note.
I’m openly bisexual. I’m out and proud. I’ve explained each and every thing I’ve understood about my bisexuality. I’ve taken names of people I’ve liked as well. If you hear something that doesn’t align with what I’ve said, you can easily catch the lie. I’ve shamelessly and openly spoken about each and every thing about…
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Note.
People are trying their best to make me sick. They are sending me reels of the character I relate to dying and they trigger me through news as well. They are trying their very best to make me suspicious. I called audible support and he tried to trigger me via book title by recommending a…
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Note.
I see a lot of things online meant to hurt me as well. People are just trying to bring me down. As I’ve already said multiple times. I’ve spoken about everything and accepted all my mistakes as well. This is continuing because people around me lack the capability and courage to accept theirs. Also, people…
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Note.
I booked uber auto in the morning, it showed 2 minutes away. The driver made me wait for 6-7 minutes and still didn’t come. I called him, he made an excuse and cancelled the ride. There was a spider in the water of my water bottle when I went out today. There was a man…
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Note.
I don’t think Jessa Hastings would have written about what I read in Daisy Haites which is sort of an attack on me. I’m not sure who is responsible for these things.
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Note.
My retaliations are 50% of the pain and trauma that the person put me through. I’m not sure why the world is choosing to be blindsided about my pain and calling me a snake for my self defence. If I’m a snake, so be it. I’m proud to be one. .. Also, I’m not sure…
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Note.
This is in response to what I see online. I’m not pursueding, I’m educating. What happened to me was wrong. Instead of making it right, people behaved monstrous. If the same thing had happened to someone else, a lot of people would be in trouble. This is the fucking truth.
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Note.
This is in response to what I see online. … People I knew were continuously trying to defeat me and bring me down by spoiling my reputation. So I decided to speak the entire truth about them which I was holding back for their benefit. When they didn’t care about me, I don’t think I…
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Note.
I have never backstabbed anyone. The waitresses are one among the many people who have been continuously forcing themselves in my life and mistreating me after I became successful. I’m speaking the truth about my experiences. I’m sorry, I don’t know how else to say this but people really don’t know how to behave around…
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Note.
I’ve stopped crying for everything. I make jokes and laugh when I’m dying inside. I don’t talk about my trauma and smile always. I’ve cut down on the fucks I give. This is who the world has turned me into. “I am what I am ’cause you trained me”- The queen herself. “If you have…
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Note.
Also, you can wear white and black all you want. I don’t give a fuck. I’m not sure if anyone else does. But I definitely don’t.
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Note.
Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. Everyone knows I’m speaking the truth, don’t pretend like you don’t. I’m well aware of the value of my words now. I do not want the best of both worlds. I decide what I want because it’s my fucking life. I don’t want people to decide it for me.…
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Note.
People know me from my blogs, YouTube and reality show or whatever it is, I’m not entirely sure. They might like me because of it. They should understand that they know me, yes. But to me they are a complete stranger. I talk to them casually and they might feel a connection because they already…
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Note.
Sorry about being so blunt the last couple of blogs. I have so much love in me but people were killing my love. Because of whatever was happening I was becoming this really cold person. I was so hurt, I wanted hurt them back. I wasn’t really thinking properly or in my senses, there was…
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Note.
I have never wanted this amount of success and I don’t want to be anyone’s God as well. All this is too much to take, tbh. After I realised what was happening and after thinking it through, I made that list of what I want. That’s it. I also know it’s not too much to…
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Note.
People have been speaking about the movie Darr, I do understand why they are saying it. I’m not stupid. But I’m not really forcing her to choose me. I’ve spoken about how I feel about her so that she can make an informed decision and choose whom she wants. I don’t expect anything because I’m…
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Note.
Honestly, I didn’t know I was this famous until recently couple of months ago. I knew things but not completely. Until I watched the movie Jawan, I didn’t realise everyone were reading my blogs. I was really upset and going through a lot because of what happened with Ginny and my health. Also, everything that…
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Note.
Father has been using really abusive and foul language since last couple of days and behaving extremely angry. My parents have been fighting as well. Today morning father got up and did a lot of things intentionally and started boiling. After that mother and him started fighting. It’s extremely toxic at home. They were fighting…
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Note.
Based on my personal experience with my family since childhood till now and what I’ve dealt with and experienced. The way I’m behaving with them is exceptionally good. No one else in this world can do what I’m doing. So I expect no one to judge me as well.
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Note.
I do agree that people might be hurting me because of something that happened outside or based on someone’s manipulations. Which is out of context and wrong. But people should also realise that, in doing so they are losing my love and respect. Because whatever they are saying and doing is the personal experience I…
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Note.
Also, I don’t have many human emotions like jealousy, greed, pettiness, ego, lust etc. I always think from a place of love. I have a lot of love in me, sometimes I have anger but it is justified. I’ve learnt a lot over the few years. I don’t know what other emotions I have but…
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Note.
Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. This is continuing because people lack accountability. Also, I’m being exploited. I’m putting my foot down and refusing it. I’m not interested in helping or sharing my gift anymore when this is how I’m being treated.
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Note.
The whole world can speak for Ginny. But unless she says things herself, it’s not considered. Same way, the whole world can speak for the people who hurt me but unless they open their mouth and say it themselves, it is not considered. Whatever I’ve said and done is right according to the personal experience…
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Note.
Even if this continues till my last breath, whatever I’m saying holds. Whatever people are doing is wrong, it’s high time they realised it. I’ve spoken about everything and accepted all my mistakes, it’s time for people to accept theirs. Instead of controlling my life and trying to hurt me, even though everyone knows what…
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Note.
If people are expecting me to fight for a so called friendship after whatever they did, I’m sorry but I’m not going to do that. What has that so called friend done for me to fight for it? Is there any good memories? No. Is there something that that person has added in my life…
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Note.
Father has been behaving extremely angry and mentally unstable again from last couple of days. He was fine all these months, I think it’s because people were watching. Now he is back to being angry and he is abusing me and mother again. Someone please help me get out of this situation.
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Note.
I was sexually assaulted by a waitress on multiple occasions. I was traumatized by the entire experience so I retaliated by using the word leech. I was mistreated by so called friends for many many years and used as a doormat and continuosly stamped, so I abused them couple of times. I don’t see anything…
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Note.
I spoke back about people who caused me intense severe trauma by using harsh words, yes I take accountability for it. I’m just giving the trauma they caused back to them. I don’t see anything wrong in it. If you want to call me a snake for it, you can. I’m not sure why people…
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Note.
I’m not sure why I didn’t realise these things before and why I was sleeping. I’m not sure why I’m always in my own world. All these people were saying fantasy. I’m not sure what exactly is wrong with me but I was normal my whole life. I don’t want to be anyone’s God, I’m…
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Note.
I don’t know what exactly does white and black imply? I’m not really sure what exactly is happening currently? I’ve already spoken about everything. So I’m not sure what is expected right now?
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Note.
I think that’s why people were saying veer zaara because I was obsessing about Ginny the entire time and I was caged. God. I’m not sure what exactly I should do or say for this to stop. And people were calling me Jesus and Krishna. I’m so tired of all these things. I don’t know…
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Note.
In funny story, Miles texts questions in the form of statements. That’s exactly how I speak. I don’t know what it’s meant to imply. I think when I met Dumbledore for the first time, I asked him what’s wrong with me and a bunch of questions like, “I am gay? I’m sexually attracted to people?…
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Note.
During the last year of school, I bought a new pouch which I loved a lot. The person sitting next to me wrote a message on it. I saw that and started to cry because it was my brand new pouch which I loved. Voldemort asked me write cuss words on the pouch because it…
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Note.
People broke my favorite mug from Ikea as well. My parents makes my niece wear a white and black dress intentionally. I threw the dress and decided I’ll buy an other dress for her. Honestly, people have been doing so much. Throwing a top doesn’t really matter much. Whatever I did is a tiny speck…
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Note.
It’s after the pimple incident that she started calling me home. She called me 7-8 times in the duration that we spoke. I politely declined each time. I don’t feel comfortable going to anyone’s house. I already explained why. Also, I casually spoke to her and she was a complete stranger. So I didn’t want…
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Note.
Also we were barely friends, you can ask her, she will tell you the same thing. We casually spoke few times, that’s it. I have never felt comfortable to open up to her, so I haven’t. Even with Mr Naidu, he is my neighbour who spoke to me 3-4 times. I have never felt comfortable…
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Note.
I remember touching Winnie’s pimple and saying, if you have a pimple it means someone has a crush on you. I heard this on TV many years ago. I’ve been saying it to everyone who has a pimple ever since to make them feel better. I’m not sure if this holds any relevance but I…
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Note.
If someone is doubting my integrity for whatever reason it might be. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to prove it to you that I’m speaking the truth. I’ve done everything I can from my end and in my control. I rest my case. Whatever happens now isn’t in my control. I want what I…
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Note.
I want to clarify. I have never looked at anyone’s chest till now in real life. But in the past I was really awkward, so I do get it if that misunderstanding arised. I haven’t done it, but I understand and acknowledge the misunderstanding. Given the circumstances it makes sense. But this applies only for…
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Note.
People should learn to respect my decisions and choices. I’m a fully grown adult and I do not like being forced. I’m going to say it again. If I’m ending a so called friendship or a relationship, it is the right decision based on my personal experience with that person. If I have a connection/bond…
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Note.
I don’t know who said this bullshit that I stare at their chest. If it is someone whom I met in recent years, you need to understand that it is a lie. Because I have grown up over the years. If it is someone from the past, during childhood or after I started speaking to…
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Note.
I’m the one who removed Ginny from my Instagram the last time because it was hurting me too much to see her after she said she doesn’t love me. Also, I was lowkey posting about her and I didn’t want her to see that. I cried for weeks and weeks after I removed her though.…
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Note.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with my perception and I’m sane. Everything that I said happened really did happen. Please don’t believe anything apart from this. People are just trying to save face in front of the world. I always speak the truth. There’s so much internal manipulations going on.
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Note.
I didn’t blame mother about the lights. I just asked her firmly 2 times about what happened. She started behaving as though I blamed her in front of father and started faking saying she is feeling weak.
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Note.
I confronted mother about the lights, she said my niece did it. I asked again saying niece would never do that and later she started behaving weird and became extremely quiet. I told her there’s nothing wrong with me and she said yes, there’s nothing wrong with you. After father and niece came back from…
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Note.
Someone desperately doesn’t want the truth to come out. So they are trying their very best to make me sick and also they want me to suffer and die. They are that desperate. Someone please do something. If anything happens to me, please be aware it’s murder. I see a lot of things online that’s…
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Note.
After I took headache medicine one hour back along with my vitamin tablet I got a really bad splitting headache. My christmas lights has been broken as well. People are trying their best to manipulate the truth and make me look sick when I’m normal. They are trying their best to trigger me and make…
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Note.
The problem was with me. I didn’t know anything about dating when we were dating. I just knew how to be friends, so we became bestfriends who did stuff. It’s only recently after I started reading all these books that I understood things. Then with therapy and self work, I realised I fucked up. She…
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Note.
I always split the bill when I go out or I pay the entire bill. But right before I started dating Ginny, I dated the psychotic perfect man. Among all the things I told you he did, he kept telling me how he hates it when I split the bill because it hurts his ego…
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Note.
Another quality that I admire about Ginny is that, she’s not desperate. She was not desperate to kiss or to get physical when we were dating. She called me home few times, I said no. Because I was scared to go till there, I’m not aware of that place. Also, cause I wasn’t ready. She…
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Note.
I don’t have anger issues but people have been doing a lot of things intentionally to trigger me and make me angry, on top of that they continuosly stab me intentionally. Which is so sadistic. Shouting is a normal reaction to this kinda barbaric abuse. People sitting in the comfort of their shoes has no…
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Note.
I returned funny story by emily henry because she called my laugh “bark laugh” and also whatever she said about mother is not true. I’m over it and have let it go. But I do not want a book that says that, so I returned it. Apart from these two things, it’s a really good…
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Note.
No matter what people do they can’t take away the gift God has blessed me with. His presence is always with me.
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Note.
Whatever love Ginny has given me is infinite and it’s enough to last a lifetime. I know for sure God sent her to me.
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Note.
I never text or call anyone unless I have something important to say. I stopped all that one year ago. I already explained why I stopped speaking to people. I expressed there were further more things that happened. I have been extremely clear about everything. I also expressed if anyone is interested in speaking to…
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Note.
People around me are pressurising me to die. They are scrutinizing me badly and constantly stabbing me. There’s a lot of internal manipulations happening. Let the world be aware of this. I’ve spoken the truth about everything and accepted all my mistakes. I want to live. I already said why. If anything happens to me,…
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Note.
I used to stand in front of the mirror during childhood and play with clothes. Because I loved clothes, I just didn’t have money to buy them. I absolutely loved books as well. Library period was my favorite period in school. I used to love going to the library. I couldn’t understand everything that I…
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Note.
I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was young and also a scientist. One of the teacher was asking us our dream job in turns. The person standing next to me asked me mine and I said fashion designer to her. When it was her turn she copied my answer. After that when…
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Note.
Yesterday after whatever happened outside, I tried speaking to my sister. She constantly gaslighted me. I tried telling mother and asked her to speak about something good and she continuously gaslighted me brutally. Father started screaming saying, go hang yourself. After that I asked mother for milk and she gave a milk. After taking a…
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Note.
Dhruv was a pervert boy who kept ogling at my body. I kept forgiving him and loved him as my friend because I was desperate for a friend last year. I was desperate to numb my pain with company and hugs. I dated a lot casually as well, but I was never present with them…
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Note.
I have a lot of problems. I don’t understand things easily. My reflex is extremely slow as well. I have a lot of anxiety. I have trouble speaking. I read people’s expressions and body language when they speak, I kinda rely on that to understand things. I really like clothes. So I look at clothes.…
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Note.
For a very long time, I just did what I was told even if I didn’t want to because I didn’t know to say no. I repeated whatever I heard on TV, read in books and what my friends say. I had zero understanding. After I started becoming mature and normal, Voldemort didn’t like the…
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Note.
I was continuously silenced by people. During childhood I was silenced and got lost in my world and started speaking to God. After I started speaking to people, I already spoke about everything that happened. I was silenced after that and made to question my reality. Whenever I tried speaking about the sexual assaults, I…
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Note.
I already said multiple times, I was a socially awkward and shy child. My mind was not developed and on top of that I was constantly suicidal because of what was happening around me. Because of that I might have been continuously lost in my world and people would have assumed I’m staring at them.…
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Note.
I’m not interested in saving the world, helping, sharing my knowledge or anything when this is how people treat me. I’m done caring. IDGAF anymore.
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Note.
The narrow mindedness and atrocities that people are putting me through will go down in history.
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Note.
Everything was cleared and buried long ago. People dug up my past again after I spoke about the assaults that I went through to conveniently turn things on me. So that they don’t have to accept what kinda fuck up they really are. They are constantly scrutinizing me as well, even after I spoke about…
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Note.
People are behaving like masochistic and sadistic barbaric psychopaths. I don’t care anymore man. I’m no longer interested in sharing my knowledge when this is how people treat me.
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Note.
I’ve spoken about everything. Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. I’ve accepted all my mistakes as well. This is continuing because people lack the capability to accept that they fucked up. Hence they are projecting their bitterness on me.
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Note.
Women ogle at my body as much as men whenever I step out. Women have equally assaulted me in the past too. Just because I’m openly out and proud people are fucking targetting me. So fucking narrow minded and hypocritical.
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Note.
Atleast I’m openly out and proud. Also, I’ve spoken everything about my bisexuality. I’m not like the hypocrite creepy straight women who ogle at my chest and body whenever I wear something revealing and go out.
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Note.
I’m the one who is being scrutinized when I’m the one who got hurt because of what happened. I was just speaking the truth about my experiences. I don’t understand why people who assualted me aren’t facing any consequences and everyone are turning things around on me. Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane. Why are…
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Note.
This is in response to a reel I saw online. Women compliment each other all the time and hype each other up. I don’t know what me being bisexual has got to do with this. I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to compliment people without people taking it in a wrong sense. I was…
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Note.
I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity. I’ve spoken the truth about what everyone did. I want to live. If anything happens to me, please be aware that it’s murder.
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Note.
Every unfair thing that happens to me I’m going to write it here. Till it stops. I’m not going to say how I cope because I’m not getting anything out of it, except for mistreatment.
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Note.
I gave a list of books to audible for content genaration 2 years ago. I’ve been following up since 2 years regularly. Last time I called, I asked the agent to read out the list and he said there is no such list present at all. He took down the names after that and then…
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Note.
People are intentionally trying their best to hurt me and make me angry. I don’t know why the world is not doing anything about this. Everyone knows I’m innocent and sane.
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Note.
The whole world is reading this, I don’t know why people are choosing to keep quiet about this attrocity?
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Note.
Yesterday after my walk, I was tired so I wanted to use the lift. The lift immediately went down and cam up. There was a big lizard in the lift when it came up. Also, I wanted to watch Veer Zaara, but it’s not present in my bookmyshow app. I know for a fact it’s…
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Note.
I don’t deserve this kinda treatment. I fucking haven’t done anything to anyone. I just spoke the truth about what happened to me.
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Dear Diary.
Today I went for Vijay’s movie. I clearly checked the trigger warning before going, it was stated as “family movie U/A rating” so I decided to go. But it had so much violence in it, I came back half way. I had my lunch. After that I was kind of feeling sad because I was…
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Note.
An extremely creepy looking women was ogling at my chest near the gate of my apartment just now.
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Note.
I think I might need medicine because I have headache sometimes. Also, I get paranoid thoughts sometimes because of what people do. I’m not sure though?
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Note.
Okay, I’m ready to talk to people. I don’t know who wants to talk to me? I think I’m still blocked?
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Dear Diary.
I’ve been practicing forgiveness and compassion daily since quite some time now because my parents are old. Now that some time has passed, it comes naturally and I no longer feel any anger towards them.
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Note.
There’s so many internal manipulations like this. Everyone knows whatever I’m saying is true in their hearts. But no one will admit it. I’ve spoken about everything and accepted all my mistakes as well because I do not want to leave any room for misunderstandings. People manipulate the truth a lot because the whole world…
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Note.
I hadn’t done scalling in 3 years so there was blood when I brushed. (This was 2 months ago) I went to the dentist, the dentist said scalling is not required and when I showed my cavity, they gaslighted me saying there is no medical term for it. They asked me to use mouth wash…
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Note.
I don’t want to die. I’m finally normal and I want to be with Ginny. If in any case I die, please consider it as murder. I’m telling this in front of the whole fucking world. There’s a lot of internal manipulations going on. I’ve spoken the truth about everything.
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Note.
Yesterday on the road volunteers were forcefully trying to talk to me, even though I politely declined. They kept forcing without the basic decency of personal space and I just walked away. My throat was fucked and doctor asked me to eat sapota and orange and when I ordered that, I was given sapota that…
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Dear Diary.
When I close my eyes I remember the first time I heard her voice. When we spoke about that song from varanam aayiram and I remember my heart sinking from that moment on. The first time I looked at her and she started laughing, omg that laugh. What will I give to see that again.…
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Note.
Dudley was always competitive and always trying her best to bring me down and prove that she is better than me. I didn’t realise that because I was innocent. She didn’t have a problem with me till I spoke to her bestfriend. It’s after that the problems started and she started spreading false rumours when…
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Note.
The people in the past never had a problem with me when I was a doormat. They were getting a ego boost because I was always available and they just wanted someone to keep under their foot and dump their trash. They started having a problem with me only after I changed and started talking…
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Note.
Don’t turn things around and show me my flaws, I’m well aware of all my flaws. Accept your fuck ups.
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Note.
I’m not sure why people call me cat for something I did 15 years ago which I already spoke about. These days I do not do that. I’ve stopped it long long ago. I casually look at people when I go out. I’ve seen a lot of people casually look at me too. So I…
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Note.
I’m not sure who is this person who spoke about me looking at their chest because it’s a big fat lie. I’m not even attracted to women in real life. I’m attracted to women online but it comes and goes. I’ve already made a list. I’ll let you know when I’m bisexual again. You need…
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Note.
You can ask Ginny as well, I said no to Ginny too whenever she called me home in the beginning, even though I loved her. I regret it a lot though. It’s one of the biggest regrets that I have because I love her so much now.
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Note.
The person in 46 used to continuously call me to her house since the beginning which I found off putting because I was just speaking to her casually. She was forcing herself in my life. Because of my past experiences I never go to anyone’s house. Unfortunately I don’t feel safe around women as well…
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Note.
Also, I had few behavioural issues which I’ve learnt over time and changed. I’m extremely empathetic, kind and friendly. Hence everyone who talks to me dumps their problems on me and takes advantage of my kindness. I have learnt to draw healthy boundaries in therapy. I have also realised that I’m supposed to have unconditional…
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Note.
I feel if someone has problems they should work on it in therapy. Therapy should be normalised. It’s because of all the people I’ve met in my life who don’t take up therapy and lack basic humanness, empathy and understanding that I had to take up therapy.
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Note.
When I’m talking to someone and what they are speaking is negative or sexual or something that I don’t agree with, I always divert the conversation to something simpler. Like trees, food, music or something that I see around that I love. I try to make them grateful about life. I always keep conversations light,…
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Note.
I tried being friends with the person at 46 and called her to meet once or twice in the middle of all that that was going on. But it just wasn’t working and I realised I wasn’t excited to meet her because as I said there was no connection and I wasn’t comfortable with her.…
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Note.
It’s really important for me to feel comfortable in someone’s presence to be their friend and open up to them or love them even. I have let go of a lot of people for this reason. I have let go of quite a lot of good looking and wealthy men as well because I wasn’t…
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Note.
Also, please don’t copy me and show me my flaws. Whatever people are doing is “out of context and wrong.” I have never done what people are claiming I did by copying me. Whatever I did was innocently, everyone was aware of that. Whatever people are doing is intentionally. Also, people lie as well because…
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Note.
I have already repeated this multiple times. I have never had friends in my life apart from Will and Ginny. I don’t miss or care about anyone from my past. I already expressed why. I have zero good memories with them. Also, with the waitress at 46, there was absolutely no friendship in the picture.…
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Note.
“We don’t get to choose if we get hurt in this world, but we do have a say in who hurts us. I know I like my choices.” – Augustus Waters. To quote Augustus Waters, the only person in this world who I’m okay with hurting me is Ginny Weasley. I have unconditional love only…
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Note.
Please don’t turn things around on me and show me my flaws. What people are doing is out of context and wrong. I’m well aware of all my flaws and shortcomings. I’ve spoken about everything and accepted all my mistakes. Now it’s time for people to accept their fuck ups.
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Note.
Gaslighting is harassment and betrayal. Period. I refuse to conform to societal pressure and normalize mistreatment. If I’m accepting someone in my life and giving them a valuable label as my friend, I need to feel comfortable and safe with them. I’m the better judge of deciding that based on the personal experience I have…
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Note.
Unfortunately, I have never had friends in my life. I’m okay with that. I’ve been lucky to find friendship in love and I’m grateful for it. Whatever decision I’ve made to end a so called friendship or end things with a man, is the right decision based on my personal experience with that person. My…
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Note.
I think Ginny is going to come back. Before she does, I want to move out. I want what I asked for before that happens, which is actually bare minimum for what I’ve done. Please give this to me first. I want some freedom before I start dating. This is really important to me.
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Note.
I don’t think Deadpool’s villian was called Cassandra by mistake. She can read people’s minds and she said she wants to be God. She was also mentally unstable. So I guess people are trying to reference Taylor Swift saying no one believed me because I was mentally unstable in the past? Also, cause I can…
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Note.
Even if I abuse someone or stand up for myself, it is right accordingly to what they did and the trauma they caused. The world just sees my reaction and they just know their side of the story which would be a manipulated version. And the world hurts me which is always out of context…
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Note.
I’m able to understand this has become really big and apparently I’m as famous as Michael Jackson. I’ve also come to realise that my words have been making a huge impact as well. I have been crying over Ginny so much that I didn’t realise anything else. I think I was sleeping. I kinda tend…
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Note.
I’m not sure why people call me a cat for something I did 15 years ago? Also, I explained everything. Everyone knows I always speak the truth, if people wanted to know something they can ask me. I’m not sure why I’m being tortured? I get fed up too. I’m not sure why people choose…
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Note.
I have already proved my innocence and sanity. I have also cleared all the misunderstandings. I’m also mostly healed. I don’t think it’s necessary for me to write here or make videos anymore. Unless, there’s something I want to convey. Because I’m not getting anything out of it. I’m not interested in saving the world…
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Note.
A lot of internal manipulations have been happening, people have been trying their very best to trigger me and make me shout. People have been trying their best to make me suspicious. I had already proved my innocence long ago. But people dug it up after I spoke about the sexual assaults to conveniently turn…
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Note.
Honestly, if this is how people behave after everything and also, after clearly explaining what happened. I don’t know, it’ll take some time for me start caring again. I’m a human being too, people tend to forget that. I need some time to recover completely. I still see a lot of things online where people…
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Note.
I cry only when I think about Ginny. When people do whatever they do, I get fucked up and go into trauma. I’ve learnt couple of things over time to deal with things and cope, so I’m able to recover. But honestly, I’m really really fed up. I’m not interested in sharing them considering how…
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Note.
I’m really sorry for repeating things multiple times. I’m so fucking fed up. People forget I’m a human being. I’m so fed up. I’m sorry but I’m not like other famous people. I have a lot of problems. Please just let me be. I’m always just minding my own business.
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Note.
An apology from people who did that could have sorted this. But it became so big and out of hand. Also, there was barely any friendship in the picture as well. I’m not holding anyone accountable or raising any complaint for what happened. I didn’t want anyone to get in trouble or loose their job…
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Note.
I don’t know why I keep repeating the same thing. It’s like every time someone does something or says something, I put it here. But unfortunately I have to repeat things multiple times for people to understand it.
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Note.
I do not want the best of both worlds. I want what I asked for. I decide what I want, I don’t want people to decide it. Also, whatever I said about the so called friends in the past is true. They were disrespectful, extremely condescending and I was kept under their foot like a…
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Note.
Also, please stop using the word cat to refer to me. Just because my niece looks at everyone when she is a toddler doesn’t mean she would be described as that even after she grows up into an adult. I’ve grown up a lot from 15 years ago. I’ve already said everything. Please don’t use…
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Note.
People manipulate the truth a lot to bring down the people who are at the top and successful. A lot of internal manipulations are going on. You would have understood this by now because of what happened with Voldemort, Lucius and others. I’ve already cleared everything. Please don’t believe anything you hear about me, unless…
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Note.
Someone is desperately trying to bring me down. India is getting the attention it is getting because of me. If Modi ji is reading this, could you please step up and do something please? I’ve spoken about everything and cleared everything. I’ve proved my innocence and sanity. I’m finally normal, I want to live my…
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Note.
The whole world is reading this. I don’t know why everyone are choosing to be quite about this?
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Note.
Honestly I’m not interested in sharing my content and helping anymore if this is how people treat me. Even after explaining and clearing everything, this how they treat me. I see even articles online trying to hurt me intentionally saying things like “I just don’t quit” etc. So many internal manipulations are happening this way.
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Note.
People keep gaslighting me wherever I go intentionally to hurt me, even in situations where it is not required. There intention is to hurt me. I’m not sure why because I haven’t done anything to anyone. I already spoke about and explained everything. Even in lakme, they were doing it. They kept saying higher prices…
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Note.
Today I went to color my hair and autos were refusing rides, in rameshwaram cafe they kept calling me crazy indirectly. In lakme they disconnected my call and refused the discount which was promised, I kept insisting and finally got my hair colored. I just persisted through the day. I don’t know why people were…
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Note.
I know I’m not crazy, that’s not my name and I don’t identify with it. But if someone keeps saying crazy in front of me, it just shows what kinda person they are. It doesn’t say anything about me. God bless their soul.
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Note.
When I said the door is open, I was speaking about the people whom I stopped speaking to. Just clarifying even if it is obvious.
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Note.
If Ginny is going to come back, I want her only and only after I get what I asked for. Also, the door is open if anyone is interested in speaking to me. I’m not really looking for friends at the moment because as I explained my plate is full. But if anyone is interested…
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Note.
I haven’t blocked anyone whom I stopped speaking to. If anyone is interested to speak, they can. But I’m not going to initiate because I haven’t done anything wrong. The message is conveyed. The rest is upto them.
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Note.
I find the waitress at 46 really pretty and the way she speaks is nice, when she pauses she pouts which is cute. Not just pretty, she is a good person too. She knows how to behave and she is friendly. Honestly, I have nothing against her. I’m just not looking for friends at the…
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Note.
Also, the notes app thing is my idea. I don’t know why my therapist said it’s hers when we spoke. But yeah, she did help me with a lot of things. I was extremely broken when I started therapy because of what happened to me and the assaults. Now I’m in a good place because…
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Note.
All the misunderstandings were cleared long ago. Do you see how people dug up the past that was cleared long ago after I spoke about the sexual assaults? It’s because they didn’t want to accept their fuck ups and they wanted to conveniently turn things on me. Do you see the manipulations that’s going on?…
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Note.
I always speak the truth. I’ve written down every single thought since 2 years. There’s a lot of manipulations that’s happening around me internally to bring me down and also, people are trying to save face. But I’ve risen beyond it and held on till now. And cleared every single thing and proved my sanity…
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Note.
I’ve spoken about and explained every single thing that happened. I’ve even spoken about things that’s none of anyone’s business. The world needs to understand that people are extremely good at bringing down people who are at the top by spreading false things about them, manipulating and spreading rumours that’s not true. Whatever misunderstandings there…
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Note.
I’m calling the men who sexually assaulted me as barbaric cavemen. And also people who felt it’s okay to torture me the way they did whenever I went out. I’m literally so fed up. I’m not talking about anyone else.
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Note.
Also, the YouTubers that I spoke about aren’t really my friends real time because we don’t actually text and we haven’t met. Maybe sometime in the future that might happen or it might not because no one knows what’ll happen tomorrow. But I do feel a connection, I don’t know if it’s just from my…
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Note.
A 16-19 year old girl with an underdeveloped mind of a toddler looking at people with an intention to make friends is different from fully grown creepy men staring at a 33 year old woman’s breast. Understand your mistakes. Also, I have never in my life stared at anyone’s body even when I was 16-19…
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Note.
Wearing white doesn’t hold any relevance to me. My consciousness is clear. I said I don’t like white before because of my anxiety. I have gotten over it and now white is one of my favorite color. It holds absolutely no relevance. Also, I have never in my life looked at anyone’s breast in real…
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Note.
People who fucking say stop shouting in the comfort of their shoes. Fucking stand in my shoes and say it. You wouldn’t last even for a minute. What I’m doing is exceptionally brilliant. So STFU please. Shouting is a normal reaction to all forms of torture that was thrown on me by barbaric cavemen. Also,…
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Note.
If you continuosly mentally torture a normal person and even sexually assault them. Also, fucking control their life. Any normal person would shout. FYI.
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Note.
When someone attacks us, if we shoot them back it’s called as self defence. There’s absolutely nothing wrong in that, even in the eyes of the court. Yes, I retaliated to the people who caused severe intense trauma. I take accountability for abusing them and retaliating. There is nothing wrong in what I did because…
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Note.
Every single person in this world stops talking to people who mistreat them. This is the basic right of a person. There is absolutely nothing wrong in what I did and my decision. I don’t know why this has become so big and why people are feeling it’s okay to assualt me like a psychotic…
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Note.
Everyone knows whatever I’m saying is right. Everyone knows my values are always correct. Everyone knows what happened to me and what’s been happening to me is monstrous and utterly wrong. Please put an end to it.
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Note.
There’s this Youtuber, Rachel. She is one of my most favourite person in this world and I consider her as Ron to my Harry. I found her channel many years ago organically and have been watching it ever since. After I became famous, we’ve been talking to each other through our videos. There were some…
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Note.
I have love in me and I love everyone from a distance that’s why I’m always kind and empathetic. I’m really sorry but I’m not like other famous people. My mind is extremely weak, I have a lot of trouble understanding and talking and interacting. To top it off, I have really bad anxiety sometimes.…
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Note.
People have got accustumed to using me and taking advantage of me and my kindness. They have gotten used to controlling my life and making full use of me. They have been using me so much that when I set my boundaries and asked for space, they turned into psychotic monsters. They started feeling that…
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Note.
Also, I said the only person I want to talk to is Ginny because she is important and special. She has made that place in my life because of the connection we had. I’m okay talking to her even when I’m suffering because she is the most important person in my life. I’m just waiting…
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Note.
If it was any other person in my place, people would have taken action against that restaurant. They would not have continuously stabbed that person. Trust me when I say this. Because it’s true. Because it’s me, people do whatever shit they want and get away with it. They are extremely unethical and unprofessional. They…
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Note.
I already said, I really like that waitress as a person, she is nice. I have nothing against her. I repeated it, couple of times. I’m not looking for friends at the moment because I’m not in the mindspace for it. My mind is really weak because of the enormity of the trauma I went…
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Note.
I think people are doubting my integrity? I guess that’s what this is. I’m not sure? I’m not sure what exactly happened or when it started or why it happened. But I’ve said everything that happened according to my POV. I’ve written every single thought since two years here. Also, after I realised what exactly…
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Note.
I’m not sure what exactly people are thinking about my last Instagram picture update and the music I chose. I was trying to convey something else. I think people are assuming shit about it. Whatever people are thinking, let them. I’m tired of all this. I’m tired of everything. I’ve been clear about everything all…
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Note.
I don’t say the complete truth always for the benifit of others and to not hurt people. Because I never want to hurt anyone. I let a lot of things slide and forgive. I’m two steps ahead because I can destroy people with the complete truth at any time. I just choose not to do…
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Note.
I’m speaking the truth. The whole world knows I’m right, but no one will accept it. If whatever happened to me would have happened to someone else, a lot of people would have been in trouble. If whatever happened to me would have happened to the people who are jumping around in the internet in…
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Note.
There is so much meaning behind Ron and Harry’s friendship. It was a bond that was created over time and it was special and it happened organically. Even Aditi and Naina’s friendship. Whatever was happening with that waitress and I was barely a friendship. She was forcing it each time I went there. There was…
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Note.
God are you seeing what people are doing to me for speaking the truth. The whole world knows I’m right and I’m being tortured for being right and having good values.
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Note.
And people are comparing that so called barely even friendship to Ron and Harry online. Also, calling me selfish for not wanting to be friends with a person who was treating me like a doormat to problem dump and absolutely nothing else. There was absolutely nothing happening in that friendship.
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Note.
Also, there was absolutely nothing happening in that friendship except for problem dumping from her side. It was barely even a friendship.
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Note.
All this started because I wasn’t interested in being friends with someone who was using me to dump her problems, when I had a headache and much bigger problems than her. People stop talking to people who mistreat them all the time. But in my case people continuosly forced me to talk to that person.…
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Note.
I was mistreated and I’m suffering because of what happened which wasn’t my fault. And people are helping the person who mistreated me by continuously mistreating me because apparently I’m not a human being and my feelings aren’t valid. They want to save his ego and name at the cost of my life by serving…
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Note.
Also, I had requested people not to manipulate my food and drink and they still did that. Why? Because I spoke the truth. FYI to the management.
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Note.
All the misunderstandings were cleared and buried long ago. Everyone accepted I was innocent long ago. But after I was sexually assaulted and I spoke about it. And also, after I spoke about what Dumbledore did. People dug up the past that was cleared and buried and tried to turn things around on me by…
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Note.
I was given spicy food at MTR too. FYI owner. Let the world be aware how I’m being treated for speaking the truth. This is how much people lack the ability to accept they fucked up.
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Note.
I was given a bitter hot chocolate at Starbucks near the temple. Intentional, not intentional? No one knows.
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Note.
Everyone knows my side of the story and why and what and everything. The way people are behaving right now is monstrous and atrocious. They lack the capability to understand and accept they fucked up, so they are just turning it on me.
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Note.
I don’t know why fully grown men feel it’s okay to sexually assault me this way. Also, nothing is being done about. Whatever I was doing many many years ago was like what my little niece does. Even my little niece keeps looking at me without blinking because her brain is not developed. Whatever people…
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Note.
I called the manager of 46 ounces couple of times to sort things. I guess his ego is not allowing him to take accountability for his fuck up, so he is avoiding me. I lay my case because I tried.
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Note.
I was the one who got hurt and was assualted. And people were continuously assualting me further wherever I go and also on social media for speaking the truth. This is so wrong and messed up. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people.
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Note.
I have a lot of love and forgiveness in me. So if I’m refusing to allow someone in my life again, even after the whole world talking about it, I have strong reasons for it. Learn to respect people.
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Note.
I never hurt anyone intentionally. Even if I retaliate, I will be doing it because of their BS. It will be correct according to the situation and what they did. Whatever people are doing is out of context and barbaric. Please learn to ask what happened.
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Note.
Whatever decision I made, to end a friendship or a relationship is the right decision based on my personal experience with that person. As I already said, I have absolutely no good memories with the people I ended things with. I have zero good memories. I do it after giving it a lot of thought.…
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Note.
I’ll follow everyone after sometime has passed. I just need a break for now. As I said, I don’t take these things so seriously.
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Note.
You can wear white and black all you want till the end of time. It holds no relavence to me. It’s 19th century era movie shit, as I said.
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Note.
Even Ginny doesn’t care much about social media. She gives importance to people in real life. I’ve unfollowed her so many times in the past but she is always so super chill. This is one of the qualities that I admire about her. She is literally the best person I know. Even my sister doesn’t…
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Note.
I’ve been calling the manager of 46 ounces to sort things as well because I’m okay now. But he has blocked me. So I can’t do anything.
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Note.
Please forget what I wrote about Kauvery Hospital and Dyu art cafe. I spoke to the managers and sorted it out. They were extremely good and professional over the call. I’ve never had any bad experience with them till date. Whatever I wrote here is the first time. We have sorted everything. Also, I’m okay…
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Note.
If people want to unfollow me, they can. I’m not going to post anymore, till I get what I asked for. I’m not interested in sharing my mind.
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Note.
I’ve unfollowed everyone from Instagram because I want some social media detox. Also, whatever profiles I follow is public and they don’t follow me. If someone doesn’t follow me they have no right to complain if I don’t follow them, this is basic. I’m not much of a social media person. I value people in…
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Note.
Everyone knows I’m normal and innocent. This is continuing because people are trying to exploit me. I refuse to share my gift. Even if I’m alone it’s okay because God is with me, so I’m not really alone.
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Note.
My life was sabotaged because a lot of people fucked up. I’ve spoken about everything. I was crazy because of the torture and I did a lot of crazy things as well. I don’t identify with it. Now I’m finally normal but people are not letting me live my life. There is so much internal…
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Note.
People are trying to make me sick and trigger me. I’m not sure who is doing it. Mother is helping them too. There are so many things happening. I was mentally tortured today, that’s why I shouted. It was a normal reaction. I don’t have anger issues. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me. But people…
rachana rajan <3 