rachana rajan <3

What the fuck is going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for? When people gang up and torture me and try to kill me. Based on lies and manipulations. Everything happens so damn quickly. When people want to benefit out of me and create content out of my content. Everything happens so damn…

As long as I exist in this reality and double life. Shit will continue forever and ever. I’ve explained every single thing in detail. How is everyone sitting and reading this and choosing to stay quiet? What the fuck is going on? Most people suck. They lack empathy and remorse. They are creepy fans with…

Some people have extreme cases of para social relationships with me. They act like they are entitled to cross my personal space and boundaries. They don’t understand a NO. No matter how many times I say NO.

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long ago. I don’t think anyone in the history of the world had to prove themselves so much. I’m the one who was wronged. I went through insurmountable pain and suffering my whole life. And I’m here proving my integrity. When I’m fucking innocent.

Stop showing me the lyrics of mastermind by Taylor Swift every single day. I cannot relate to that song. That is not my fucking story. I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity and cleared my name. The liars are already in front of the world. Long ago. Stop taunting me with the same things everyday.…

Dragging this unnecessary and a waste of everyone’s time, efforts and energy. There’s nothing left to say. The truth is already out. Please stop wasting my precious time.

The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for? Why is this being dragged unnecessarily? What’s going on man? I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence and sanity. Everyone in this world clearly knows that I’m innocent. You know it too. What the fuck is going on?

It was a common thing in the 90s and 2000s.

What the fuck is going on man? The truth is already out. What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the bloody fuck am I waiting for? What’s the fuck is going on?

The only thing I have are the problems of being successful. I can’t even speak about it to anyone. Because of the reality and double life that I’m existing in. What’s going on man? The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

Even if all you do is give give and give. And the world reaps benefits from you. The world is not going to be good to you. Most people suck. Most people lack empathy and remorse. I was treated like an animal in a room full of doctors in the emergency ward recently. When I…

I see people online posting pics with “seven year slip, funny story and just for the summer.” Only these three books. Nothing else. Because I spoke about it recently. I want the world and the book community to clearly understand what’s happening. I have been extremely clear about everything. These people don’t give a fuck…

This character reminds me of my mom. The way she’s speaking. I don’t know if it’s because I see myself as spiderman. But yeah. Every time I listen to this. I think about my mom. Whatever she’s saying and the way she says it.

Today mom asked me to stop taking medicine for my throat if my throat is fixed. I said “Mom I’m a grown up. I know.” That kinda escalated into a tiny conflict. Little context. I have not been taking up therapy regularly since January 2025. Because no money. So I have all these emotions inside…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What’s going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

This dialogue is one of the reasons why I uploaded the hukum song. If people don’t understand the reference and the fandom. I can’t help. I uploaded only 20 seconds of that song. But the world started taking the entire literal meaning. I have never said that I’m a King or God. Those aren’t my…

I coughed for 4 hours continuously last night. I thought I was going to die by the end of it. My energy was completely depleted and my body was in severe pain. Then I fell asleep. I’m fine today. My ENT Doctor gave me medicine. This is the fourth time Doctor Mahesh Meda has helped…

The truth is already out. There’s nothing left to say. Everyone knows that I’m speaking the truth. You know it too. How much will I be taunted? How much will this be dragged? Unnecessarily. Please stop wasting my precious time.

I’ve already cleared my name and proved my innocence and sanity. Long ago. What’s going on? What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

Even if the world knows everything about you and all you do is give. They are not going to be good to you. This is the harsh reality. Because most people suck. They lack empathy and remorse. I was treated like an animal in a room full of doctors recently. Everyone I speak to now…

I don’t really speak about my personal life to anyone. Even those close to me know only 10-20% of what I have written here. A lot of unfair things happened to me on a large scale that no one knew about. So it was important to say everything. I’ve been writing here for the last…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Message to jokers Fuck you 😘😘😘

The truth is already out long long ago. What’s going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for?

I stopped caring about posting on Instagram after Ginny and I stopped following each other in 2022. I post only when I have something important to say. Or to convey a message since that’s one of my medium of communication with the world. I share random reels on my story sometimes. I don’t really care…

What the fuck am I waiting for man?

My parents are really old and innocent. They are not educated enough to understand these things.

We are all adults here. People clearly know and understand what they are doing. There are no misunderstandings and mistakes. People are intentionally and unnecessarily gaslighting me. For sadistic pleasure, false superiority and as a weapon to rage bait and provoke. There’s no other reason for it. Because if someone was really a friend. They…

But yeah. Teni has extreme behavioural issues and lacks emotional maturity. He lashes out every time I draw a boundary. He uses extremely vulgar language. Like emotional rape. He is really blunt. He was constantly downplaying my value and worth to exert false superiority. Because my success made him feel inferior. He was always combative.…

The truth is already out long long ago. What’s going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for?

For the last 3 days I have had a splitting throat pain. I called my ENT Doctor thinking I’m dying. He informed me it’s a severe cough which can be fixed with medicines. So I’ve been numbing my pain with medicines. Today I coughed for 3 hours straight that ended with a headache. So I’m…

My mom is an entirely different person with a different mind and heart. I cannot control her. She saved my life on her own free will. If not. I would have died in September 2024 itself.

In 100 years or maybe a couple of 100 years or 1000 years. Life on earth can become inhabitable. There can be other pressing issues. Virus outbreak or anything. No one knows. We are not certain about tomorrow as well. Let alone 100 years from now. We can’t make any certain predictions. We are quite…

There are people who say sorry for silly things like replying late to a message or some other silly thing like that. But when it comes to the real deal. Like when they hurt you or when they fuck up. There’s no sorry. They don’t want to take accountability and apologise. They’d rather end the…

There’s nothing I hate more than. Random ass side characters with main character syndrome. Also. Immense para social relationship.

I met an ENT doctor at Kauvery hospital in December 2024. I already told you about her. She was a projective bully. When I explained what was wrong with my throat and why I’m meeting her. She said. “I know how to do my job. Don’t teach me how to do my job.” Which was…

I don’t feel attractive anymore. I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’ve lost that hang of speaking and my fluency. I stammer often. I’m extremely sick. My stamina sucks. Idk. I don’t feel good about myself anymore.

When I started texting Teni in December last year. He was good to me initially. He even said that. I might eventually stop talking to him and block him. Like always. That kinda made me feel sorry and see his humanness. And made me try harder to make the friendship work. That’s why I stayed…

Half the population’s just waiting to see me failYeah, right, you’re better off tryna freeze hell ‘Til the referee rings the bell‘Til both ya eyes start to swell‘Til the crowd goes homeWhat we gon’ do kid?

Half the population are jokers in a white cardigan. They are burning behind their facade. They are desperately waiting for a loophole. They desperately need something against you to satisfy their demons. Because you shine too bright for their liking. They don’t care about asking what happened and your side of the story. They don’t…

The truth is already out long long ago. What’s going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for?

I started reading Harry Potter when I was 14 years old and my life was changed forever. I was a huge potterhead growing up. Still am. I never imagined I would write Harry Potter fanfiction one day. And I would actually relate to Harry Potter and Snape. Now that things are finally good. It feels…

Take care. Love you all so much. x

These random ass side characters suffer from main character syndrome.

It’s always the random ass side characters who have one sided beef with you. They are insecure and burn with jealousy. Later, they project and attack you. Truth be told, you don’t even give them a second thought. They are not even worth your time and energy. Example. Dudley, Pettigrew, Varsha Vinod. Etc. God man.…

What’s going on man? Why am I being kept in the dark? What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long ago. What’s going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Biting of the lower lip was common in the 90s and 2000s.

The truth is already out long long ago. I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity and cleared my name. The liars are already in front of the world. I’ve given irrefutable solid proofs. I’ve already cleared why I used the analogy of chess. More than enough and necessary. I’ve already cleared that I cannot relate…

When someone throws mud on my name. It’s a field trip for jokers. Half the population are jokers in a white cardigan. They are burning behind their facade. They desperately need something against me to satisfy their demons.

Some people just need an excuse to go berserk like cavemen. They desperately need an outlet for their emotions and unhealed trauma. So they take it out this way.

What the fuck am I waiting for?

My annoyance towards the book community is. Normal, valid, legit and justified. Go stand in the corner and think about what you did.

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

Now that the truth is out and the real culprits are out. Where are all the barbaric cavemen who created riots on the road? Show me your faces. Where the fuck are you? You don’t want anyone dead now? Tell me. Where are you?

After everything that we went through together. A random stranger lied. And this is what people did. Without asking me what happened and my side of the story. I can never forget it till the day I die. I clearly said on day one itself. I’m not interested in women IRL please ask me what…

I’m not fucking interested in creating book content anymore. I’m not interested in adding value. When this is how people are behaving. I’m not fucking interested. People can copy my work. But they cannot copy my creativity. Good luck. God bless you.

If you want to hype up books. You should and you must. Because every book deserves hype. But you cannot invade in my personal space and boundaries. Without my consent and knowledge. Watch my every move. Assume shit that’s not true. Based on my activities when I was in survival mode. And throw it on…

I trust Will blindly. I know for a fact that I can. I’m 100% certain that he cares about me as a friend. That’s why he is my best friend. Even if we speak or not speak. That’s irrelevant. It’s the same with my therapist Kruti. We have a professional boundary. But I know for…

I don’t feel very good. Hope I don’t die. Too many things are wrong. My throat, teeth and I pee erratically on some days. My stamina sucks. I need to see a few doctors before meeting Ginny. Also, take my parents to the doctor. I hope she texts me first. I can’t meet her like…

The truth is already out long long ago. Everyone in this world clearly knows that I’m speaking the truth. You know it too. Even you know dragging this is a waste of time and unnecessary. What the fuck is going on man?

Now the battle is done. I don’t understand why I’m waiting and why this is being dragged unnecessarily.

My therapist Kruti was my constant support system throughout all this. Since I met her in 2023. I wouldn’t be here without her. She went above and beyond and helped me more than what her job description requires her to do. She is an entirely different person with a different mind and heart. I cannot…

My parents were continuously torturing me without mercy. They wanted me to suffer and die. Everyone I was speaking to was constantly attacking me. The person who was controlling my surroundings and content was continuously torturing me without mercy. Based on lies and manipulations. And calling it karma. That person was desperately trying to silence…

I got to know the world knows me. After watching the movie Jawaan. I got to know people were watching my youtube because Steph Bohrer told me in her video. (You can speak to her.) I got to know I was framed and the law was involved. After I saw it online at the end…

I kept asking Dumbledore since day one. “Why are people speaking to me in a special way?” He kept saying that I’m sick. That’s why I’m asking that question. I asked him the same question for a decade. I was on the verge of dying. And I kept repeating the same question. I asked him…

I can’t even relate to the song mastermind by Taylor Swift. People have been taunting me with that song for many years. That’s not my fucking story. Firstly. It was not my fucking idea to involve the world in my life. I didn’t even know people knew me till I watched Jawaan. Unless you tell…

The truth is already out long long ago. What’s going on man? How much will you drag this unnecessarily?

The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What’s going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for? When the world gangs up and starts to torture me and try to kill me. Based on lies and manipulations. Everything happens so damn quickly. When the world wants to benefit out of me and create content out of my content. Everything happens so…

I’m speaking the truth. You can fact check everything that I’m saying. I’ve done everything in my power to show you the truth. I cannot do anything more than this. I’m really very tired. I’ve been extremely sick since last August. My parents are sick as well. I miss Ginny so much. My heart aches…

Please check with Ginny about the video call incident. You can speak to Dumbledore. I kept asking him again and again and again. “Why are people speaking to me that way?” I asked him the same question for a decade. Talk to him. This was the crucial piece of the puzzle. This was the only…

I don’t feel good. Some days are really bad. I’m really sick. I don’t know how I’m holding on.

Please don’t burden me with your dirty little secret. I don’t want the unnecessary guilt.

In case you are cheating on your partner. And you don’t want them to know. Please don’t tell me. Little heads up. Because when I get to know about infidelity. I’m definitely going to tell the partner. No matter who it is. Even if it’s my brother in law.

I don’t know what I was thinking. Expecting loyalty in friendship. From a man who fails to be loyal to his own fucking wife. My bad. I’m speaking about Teni Thomas btw. In case you are wondering.

Dating is exhausting and fucks you up. But meeting the right person makes up for it. It’s worth the pain and BS.

I’m really sick. I hope I don’t die.

Yup. We’re all a little bit gay.

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

I’ve said it before saying it again. The dynamics of a relationship/friendship keeps changing based on the behaviour and actions of the people involved. If someone is not treating you right and with respect. Adding value and peace to your life. You are allowed to revoke access. And disengage/block/unfollow/delete. Unapologetically and without guilt. You are…

The truth is already out long ago. Every single person in this world clearly knows that I’m speaking the truth. You know it too. You just don’t want to accept it. This is being dragged unnecessarily.

I was alive and I didn’t die because of various other reasons as well. My therapist kruti was my constant support system since I meant her in 2023. I wouldn’t be here without her tbh. Also. Books and music. So many random people online helped me too. Also. Agency and faith.

I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity and cleared my name. I’ve given irrefutable solid proofs. The truth is already out long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. What more do you want? I’ve already explained clearly why I used the analogy of chess. I’m not the one playing the game.…

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for man?

I wish Voldemort had just spoken to me like a normal person. I had no interest in Ashwin Srinivas.

Contextual eye gesture.

This was taken in the 90s.

My heart is warm and gooey. I wish I could book the next flight to Canada.

I just keep hugging my blanket. My heart is not okay. I keep seeing her Instagram display picture. Why is she so far away? When all I want is to be near her.

I can’t live without Ginny. My heart!

I’m so tired of this.

My heart is aching so much. I can’t stop crying. I miss Ginny. I’m fed up of this shit.

What exactly am I waiting for?

I want justice for what the person who was controlling my content and surroundings did to me. That person was the real demon. I want justice.

I’m always minding my own business. I don’t proactively think anything negative about anyone. I don’t speak against innocent people. I don’t disrespect anyone intentionally. I take absolutely no responsibility for someone else’s insecurities and projections. If there’s any issue that is highlighted by anyone. I humbly request people to clarify it with me. Please…

I want every single person who spread slander to face charges of defamation. I want every single person who spread false accusations to face charges of defamation and false accusations. I want justice for every single sexual assault and the rape. I want justice for every single harassment and assault. I want justice for every…

I want justice for every single miniscule thing that happened to me. I want injustice to be answered with justice. That is the only way I will find peace and closure. Also. I’m teaching people how to treat me. I’m setting an example to the world. I want everyone to clearly understand that there’s going…

The truth is already out long ago. What exactly am I waiting for?

Even though we lived in poverty and in the slum. My mind was extremely progressive. I just didn’t know how to speak. And form sentences. Also because I didn’t speak to anyone during my formative years. I don’t have certain human emotions. And I struggled to understand the social norms and cues. I didn’t know…

I used to love reading from a very young age. Dad used to bring home books from his office. David Copperfield, Christmas Carol, Black beauty etc. Those are my first books. At school Library period was my favourite class. I used to read Secret Seven, Famous Five, Nancy Drew etc. I started reading Harry Potter…

If I wasn’t silenced in childhood. I’m pretty sure I would be a singer now. If Voldemort hadn’t betrayed me. I would have had a regular normal life. But yeah. That didn’t happen. And now we are here.

I’ve loved music since a very young age. I used to sing to friends in school. I used to keep singing. One day the teacher made me sing in front of the whole class. I remember singing without any stage fright. Because I love music. I used to talk non-stop to my friends. After that…

I saw this online just now. I’m hit with nostalgia. I was a huge Avril Lavigne fan growing up. I used to listen to her music all the time and copy everything that she did. It was platonic. I didn’t really crush on her. I was a fangirl through and through as far as I…

The truth is already out. Everyone knows that I’m speaking the truth. You know it too. Please stop dragging things unnecessarily and wasting my precious time. It’s over and done long ago.

The truth is already out long ago. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Stop living for the gram. Touch some fucking grass.

When you receive flowers or buy flowers for yourself. And you are happy. So you take a picture to remember it. And post it on the gram later to document it because it’s your own personal digital scrapbook. Wonderful. Keep them coming. If you are buying flowers just for the gram and aesthetics of your…

Also. Please stop performatively hyping up books. Based on my activities when I was in survival mode. Also based on your assumptions. Please stop being a joker in a white cardigan. Please move on.

I have left absolutely no room for misunderstandings and doubts. In case something happens tomorrow. If someone tries to lie about me or tries to turn the table. You can clearly understand the truth. Next time. Please have the basic decency to ask me what happened. And ask my side of the story. Before going…

After knowing everything that I have faced in life. A normal person won’t hurt me again. A normal person won’t trouble me intentionally. But half the population are jokers in a white cardigan. They smile a twisted creepy malicious smile when they see me. It’s all fun and games for them. Most people suck. Most…

So many unfair things have happened to me my whole life. On a large scale. I have battled with thoughts throughout my life. On top of that. I was tortured physically, sexually, mentally and psychologically. I was crazy. Which was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of BS. After I spoke about everything here.…

I keep thinking about texting Chinthu, Nikita and Teni once again. For closure. Because whatever they did was wrong. Obviously. I replay the conversation in my head. Thinking I should have said this and that. In retrospect, I have a better and effective comeback. But the moment has passed now. We have blocked each other.…

Does anyone want to explain to me what exactly am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Initially when Ginny and I matched on bumble and exchanged numbers. She sent me a selfie. She is so fucking beautiful. I couldn’t believe that she was interested in me. I thought I was being catfished. I have been catfished so many times after I started dating. So after she sent the selfie. I asked…

I ruthlessly protect my close circle and energy. There is a bouncer outside. Evaluating and ready to kick people out. And shut the door. There’s nothing more important to me than my peace.

When someone doesn’t care about you and the friendship. When they are intentionally hurting you and playing stupid games. Should you care to not sabotage the friendship and keep the peace? And people please and be a doormat. Or Should you call out their shit and stand up for yourself? Think about it. Also. We…

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

Chinthu is extremely egoistic. This is one of the main reasons why I was not interested in dating him. And we frizzled out. I don’t get along with people who have an ego bigger than their head.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe there’s no God. Maybe all this is just random and meaningless. It could be the case. But the thing is. While we are on earth, we are not going to have all the answers. Some things are forever uncertain. That’s just how it is. We don’t know. So I’d rather live…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

My whole life people were using “special way of speaking” as a weapon against me. Because there were no consequences. Now. They use “gaslighting” as a weapon. Because again. No consequences. I want a normal and conventional life. Please end this shit. I’m so fucking tired.

I want Rachel Catherine and her kitty party to get their karma as well. Whatever they did was cyber bullying. It was cruel and inhuman. I have spoken about everything in detail.

I want Abby Jimenez to face charges for calling me an ugly gargoyle in her book. It was dehumanising and inhuman. I want justice. If the book community is hyping up this book. Do you even have consciousness? Is it even humane to hype up such a book? Also. Funny Story by Emily Henry. That…

After everything that we went through together. A random stranger lied. And this is what people did. Without asking me what happened and my side of the story. I can never forget it till the day I die. Even now everyone I speak to is playing twisted games. Even now. For sadistic pleasure, false superiority…

In 2023 and 2024. My throat was completely fucked. I was extremely sick and dying. I was suicidal and going through something very serious. Everyone in this world knew about it. It wasn’t a secret. That’s when these monsters like. Dhruv, Pettigrew, Rahuul Rishav, monster at crochet class, monster at social, Anna, aggressive stalker. Was…

The truth is already out long ago. Can someone please explain to me what exactly am I waiting for?

To be extremely clear. Harry Potter is a cat animagi in my fanfiction. I, the author, am not a cat. Please don’t dehumanise me. You like my story and are adopting cats to bring the story alive. That’s wonderful. But do not call me a cat. I hope that’s clear.

What the fuck am I waiting for?

See, it was a common thing in the 90s and 2000s.

If I had an ETA. It would help with my restlessness and anxiety. Can someone please give me an ETA? I’m really sick. It’s extremely frustrating and I don’t feel good. Is anyone listening?

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I love watching GRWM make up videos online. It’s so fun. Ironically, I don’t wear make up. But I love it on others. My heart is in constant pain. I’ve learnt to live with it. I’ve been hurting and longing since 2022. And yet I have not run out of feelings. It just seems to…

I feel like Addie LaRue. I think about her often. Since I started the book in 2024. I’m still just 25% in. (My books are tampered with, so I’m not reading.) But the story has made a huge impact in my life. It’s one of the reasons I’m still alive. I hope the book has…

I’m sorry that I keep repeating the same things like a crazy person. I’m aware of it. It’s just not easy existing in my shoes. It’s so fucking hard to keep it together. And wait this way. Without an ETA and without any answers and with no one to speak about it to and with…

Nikita Metha intentionally and unnecessarily gaslighting me. When I texted her recently. Told me everything that I need to know about the friendship and where I stand. If she was really a friend and cared about me. She would not have done that.

Reading something because you like reading it. Makes sense. Being performative about liking something and performative hyping. Because I expressed a personal opinion. Also based on assumptions when I was in survival mode. This is where things are going wrong. Also. Being stuck in the past and refusing to move on. You have your answer.

These people don’t give a fuck about these books. It’s performative hyping. Also. They are fucking hypocrites. They have a big stack of books that they hate themselves. But they are policing me.

This is how you spot a joker in a white cardigan. It’s not easy to spot them. Because the shade is always so subtle. But it’s still there nevertheless. Rachel Catherine is the epitome of a joker in a white cardigan. She is vicious and obnoxious. She is a toy chihuahua barking at me from…

People online are still hyping up books from 2023 and 2024. I would have spoken about 100 books that I like. But they don’t give a fuck about them. They only care about the books that they “assumed” that I don’t like. Based on my activities when I was in survival mode. The world needs…

Please understand what’s happening and the truth. At least now.

This is the reality of how I’m being treated. I was treated like an animal by a room full of doctors in the emergency ward recently. When I was suffering and in pain. People just want the attention and glory that comes attached to me. This is the truth of what is going on. People…

My success was making Teni feel inferior. So he was constantly undermining me and downplaying my value and worth. By saying things like, “you are not good at poetry and storytelling, your advice is not helping, you are not funny”. Etc. Even though he was quoting my advice and words that I write here on…

She is not my enemy or anything. I will wish her well whenever I think about her. God bless her.

Whenever we spoke we were close though. And she was good to me. But then I was just a casual friend. And my efforts to be more than just casual friends were never reciprocated. So yeah. A couple of months back. She unblocked me. I texted her. She responded with a single word reply. I…

I already spoke about Nikita Metha. I told you she changed the trajectory of my life. But then. She wasn’t really a good friend though. We met in the cab during my initial days at the Ministry. We exchanged numbers and started speaking. We met once for shopping because we lived near by. She had…

There’s a random person who I was speaking to in 2022. I met him through bumble but we were not dating. We spoke as friends for a few weeks and later we phased out. His name is Balu. Recently. I saw him on my Instagram suggestions. I suddenly remembered him and the stories he told…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

The one who cheats is not always in the wrong. Sometimes there would be a serious underlying issue. In Keerthana’s case. Her husband was a dick and she had too much ego. With Teni. I don’t know the reason. But I feel there’s more to the picture than meets the eye. I don’t understand why…

This was a common thing in the 90s and 2000s

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

My close circle is sacred. It’s a temple of trust and safety. People in my close circle are in my close circle for a reason. I’m happy and content with my life. I’m not looking for anything from anyone. I’m not interested. Just because someone is a creepy fan and desperate to be my friend.…

I don’t know why I’m feeling guilty for breaking the trust of Keerthana and Teni. They were never really good to me to begin with. They treated me like shit throughout the friendship. So I shouldn’t care. I did the right thing by speaking the truth. I didn’t do anything wrong. So yeah. I don’t…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I spoke about Keerthana and Teni’s infidelity here. Speaking the truth was the right thing to do. But I have the guilt of breaking their trust. But then they both broke the trust of their spouses. So the guilt that I feel is a repercussion of what they did, is what AI has to say…

It’s 1.53 am. I miss Ginny so much. My heart. =/

Please fact check everything that I’m saying. I’m speaking the truth.

When I complimented the barista in early 2024. I was not horny. I have already proved that I was not horny in 2023 and 2024.

I don’t understand how everyone is sitting and watching this. The whole world is benefitting out of me. And I’m suffering. What exactly am I waiting for? Why am I waiting this way? Why am I being kept in the dark? What’s going on?

My parents are really old and innocent. They are not educated enough to understand these things. They don’t know how to spot a narcissist. They don’t know how to say no, stand up for themselves and draw boundaries. They will silently accept the doormat treatment and people please and stay quiet. I want a normal…

How people treat me now. When I’m helpless and vulnerable. Says a lot about them. Compared to how people will treat me when things are normal. If someone is really my friend. They will behave like one. It’s times like these that show you who your real friends are. If my community really considers me…

There’s nothing I hate more than a two face bitch.

I kinda feel guilty for speaking about Teni’s infidelity. Even if he was a dick to me. I know it was the right thing to do. But he said it to me because he trusted me. I’m torn between the right thing and my guilt for breaking his trust. Yes, he is a dick. But…

I’m scared of my safety.

There’s nothing I hate more than when people have extreme cases of para social relationship with me. The way they act like they are entitled to cross my boundaries and personal space. I fucking hate it. There have been multiple other instances. I’ve already spoken about it. Please read below. Note.

The aggressive stalker wouldn’t dare to do that with anyone else. But with me. There’s no consequences. If he would have done the same things to anyone else in this world. He would be in jail. Irrespective of his age.

Dudley’s father also keeps texting and calling. No matter how many times I block him or decline his calls. No matter how many times I say that I’m not interested. He just doesn’t fucking stop. He texted me recently on telegram as well. He is a parasite. I want a restraining order against him. I’m…

Also. Whatever the aggressive stalker did was alarming and wrong in all senses. He is just a fucking random neighbour and a stalker. We hardly spoke for 3 minutes in 2023. We spoke for 3 minutes because he forced that conversation and stalked me. He misbehaved with me the entire 3 minutes. He even said…

I want a restraining order against Dudley’s father. He misbehaved with me my entire life. We have never had a one on one conversation till date. There’s absolutely no relationship between us. He kissed me on my cheek without my consent in 2022. I was traumatized for a long time. The way he behaved with…

Some people have extreme cases of para social relationships with me. It’s borderline scary and psychopathic. They don’t understand a NO. No matter how many times I say NO. They behave as though they are entitled to cross my personal space and boundaries. We would’ve barely spoken to each other. And they act like my…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Biting of the lower lip was a common thing back then. During the 90’s and 2000’s.

The truth is already out. What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out. Every single person in this world clearly knows that I’m speaking the truth. You know it too. You just don’t want to accept it. That’s all.

Do you even understand how hard it is to continue to exist this way? When I’m already successful. The whole world is benefitting out of me and my work. And I’m suffering without money to take care of even my basic expenses. Also. I’ve been extremely sick since last August. The only thing I have…

The truth is already out. I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity and cleared my name. The liars are already in front of the whole world. What the fuck am I waiting for? How much will this be dragged unnecessarily? Why are you wasting everyone’s time efforts and energy for no reason? Please stop wasting…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

How someone treats you when you are helpless and vulnerable. Says a lot more than. How someone treats you under normal circumstances. Right now I’m existing in this reality and double life. If someone is really a good friend. Not just a friend but a good person for that matter. They won’t take advantage of…

See how she’s looking at her boobs contextually. Everyone in this world does it contextually. When you draw attention to something. It’s normal to look at it. This is so ridiculous. I wasted more than one year of my life speaking about this BS. I had to repeat it like a million times. God man.…

I have a close-knit circle. Mom, dad, sister and both my nieces. Ginny, Kruti and Will. That’s my close circle. My community as well on public platforms. I know Will and I aren’t speaking now. Because I guess he needs a break. But yeah. He is my best friend. And will always be my best…

Ginny, my therapist kruti and Will. Are the only people who treated me with respect and actually saw me for me. And also. Whom I was close to. In my 34 years of life. That’s why they are important to me. There has been no one else. I was close to them. But they only…

The truth is already out long ago. What’s going on?

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Even if all you do is give give and give. People are not going to be good to you. Most people lack empathy and remorse.

I’ve been extremely sick since last August. I don’t feel good at all. I hope I don’t die.

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

Trying to be friends and actually being friends. Are two different things.

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I’m really sick. Honestly I don’t know how I’m holding on. I’m so beyond fed up.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed. But any problem in life. Like failure, rejection, gaslighting, etc. Hurts the first couple of times when it happens. But after that the body adapts to the problem and you become immune to it. You kinda get used to it. And it no longer hurts. This is how I…

If I get to know about infidelity. I’m definitely going to tell the spouse/partner. No matter who it is. You can’t have the cake and eat it too.

A good man is not an average woman. We assume it to be true. Because an average woman is a two face bitch. That’s just her facade. All are equal. It’s not the gender. It all comes down to the person and their character.

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

How cruel is a person who knows a vulnerable information about you. And intentionally uses it to take advantage of you and your helplessness. And plays twisted games.

Wanting credit and convention for my hard earned work is normal. Because it’s my sweat, blood and tears. I fucking deserve it. It is not a fucking power play. Someone who considers this as a power play is not my fucking friend. And does not deserve access to me.

Thank you. Is the normal response to compliments and helpful statements. Not “Come to my house”. If someone is a lonely sex addict. If someone lacks social skills and comprehension. If someone has an extreme case of para social relationship. If someone is projecting. It is not my fucking fault.

The barista at Starbucks Koramangala looks exactly like the actress in the movie Jawaan. When she asked me about my coffee. I complimented her and told her the same. Complimenting is like second nature for me. I compliment everyone I speak to. I’ve complimented so many strangers. You can check this information. She was working…

Also. I don’t know if they are fucking IRL. You should probably ask Teni and his multiple side pieces.

Someone please help me. I want a normal and conventional life. Why am I being kept in the dark? What’s going on? Please help me.

Please don’t push this behaviour aside by calling me spiderman. It’s much deeper than that. It’s psychological. Whatever is happening is extremely serious. People in India just want the attention and glory that comes attached to me. People just want to benefit out of me. This is the brutal reality of what’s happening. And the…

FYI to the husbands of Teni’s friends and colleagues. They are sending him nudes and getting hot. While their husbands are sleeping. Message to Teni. You play stupid games. You win stupid prizes brother.

I keep checking Ginny’s Instagram from my second account. I miss her so much. I’m so tired. I also miss my best friend Will. I hope he speaks to me soon. I’m so fucking tired. I’m so tired of waiting.

I want a normal and conventional life. That’s the only way to end this shit. I don’t want to be treated this way ever again. I’ve already proved my innocence and sanity and cleared my name. The truth is already out long ago. The liars are already in front of the world. What the fuck…

Now that I’m successful. Speaking to people from the past has turned into a power play. They can no longer keep me under their feet like a doormat. Since I’m no longer a failure and I’m insanely successful. Also. I have self respect and self love now. It threatens their self worth. They don’t like…

What’s going on man? What the fuck am I waiting for?

India is getting all this attention and glory because of me. But in reality. Indians are playing these twisted psychological games with me. To exert false superiority and sadistic pleasure and a weapon to provoke and rage bait. I was treated like an animal by a room full of doctors as well recently. I’m also…

What the fuck am I waiting for? What’s going on? When the world wants to benefit out of me and create content out of my content. Everything happens so quickly. When people copy my work and write books and songs and make movies. Everything happens so quickly. When people want to throw things on my…

Teni was constantly trying to diminish my value and worth. By saying things like my advices were not helping him and I’m not good. Even though he was quoting my words on a daily basis and using my advices that I write here. He didn’t want to accept the fact on a personal front because…

What the fuck am I waiting for? The truth is already out.

When I get to know about infidelity. I’m definitely going to tell the spouse. No matter who it is. Even if it is my best friend or sister or brother in law or whoever it might be. I will definitely tell the spouse. Hypothetically. When Ginny and I get married. And if she’s cheating on…

Initially, I liked speaking to Teni and I liked him as my friend. Until it got toxic AF. His true colours spilled out I suppose. He doesn’t really show any love while speaking. I mean, the platonic love that friends show while speaking to you. The way my other friends speak to me in a…

As long as I exist this way. Shit will continue forever and ever. What the fuck am I waiting for man?

I feel when a partner is cheating and you get to know about it. You should let them know. Because hypothetically. If my partner was cheating on me. I would want to know about it. It’s always better that way. I want Jane to know. This is the only way I can tell her.

This is the reality of how people in India are treating me. I don’t really understand why India is getting so much attention from the world. Because of me. When in reality. Indians are just doing this. My whole life and even now.

The gaslighting didn’t hurt me. It’s just the fact that people use it as a weapon against me. Always ready and handy. They know a sensitive vulnerable information about you. And they take advantage of that information to destroy you intentionally. And play twisted games. Instead of just ending things peacefully. Most people lack empathy…

Also. I want the world to know the psychological twisted games that people play with me. Because of the reality and double life that I’m existing in. People clearly know and understand what they are doing. And they intentionally do it anyway. It’s just sad to think how low someone can stoop. But they don’t…

My intention to write about him is because. I want his wife to know the truth. I know there’s always two sides to the story. So she should probably ask him and sort it out. I cannot keep it inside me. I feel this is the right thing to do.

In between all this. I treated him as a friend and told him about Ginny, Will, Draco and everything else. We were friends for a while. He lent me money in January too to pay my credit card bill. It was going good until it got toxic AF. He is always so blunt with me.…

Later. Shit started. He is always working 247. So I started telling him about how he should take care of himself and work life balance. Because friends help each other grow. I also asked him about his issues with his wife with the intention of helping him mend the relationship. But he kept shutting me…

I started speaking to Teni Thomas in December. I already told you about him. Please refer to below. I should not have. Considering his behaviour so far. But then I felt, people change people grow. Huge mistake. Initially he gaslighted me intentionally. I stated my boundaries and he lashed out. Which is emotional immaturity. But…

Everyone fucks up from time to time. Even the best of us. Say you’re sorry and mend your words. Do better next time. It’s okay.

It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to say you were wrong and change and grow. It’s okay to redeem yourself. It’s never too late to do the right thing. Just change. Try.

Because of the way women have been behaving with me. I’m so fucking traumatized. That’s why I’m saying whatever I’m saying. My words are justified. Based on my experience. God.

I’m not stupid. I do understand what men are capable of. I do understand why we should be scared of them. I’m scared to travel alone in the night too. But I do know not all men are like that. Because I’ve been lucky enough to know them and speak to them. I’m just choosing…

I’m sorry to say this. Most of the things that people see as “problems”. I don’t see them as problems. I see them as middle school first world problems. I don’t understand why people fret so much like children. Have a little tolerance for pain. Stop being a pussy. I guess it’s because I’ve gone…

I don’t understand why people complain about ghosting. I’m completely okay with temporary people ghosting me. If you don’t like me. Please ghost/block/delete/unfollow. When someone doesn’t want to be my friend. It’s not betrayal. They are not my enemy. I wish them well from a distance. God bless them. When someone doesn’t care. Neither do…

Rejection is a middle school first world problem. If someone doesn’t have the capability to handle something as silly as rejection. They are not qualified to get married. Because marriage is not a walk through a fresh sunflower meadow. So if they attack you when you reject them. You have your answer. Thank your lucky…

I love being alone. I enjoy my own company and solitude. Also. Personally, I don’t think marriage is the end goal of life. I’m okay without it. So if I’m deciding to spend my life with someone. Unless it’s a fuck yes. It’s a no.

Note. Sorry. I don’t want to stereotype. I think my words sounded like I was stereotyping. Not all women are like this. There are women out there who initiate conversations and express their feelings too. I have experience speaking to women who have too much ego and are petty AF. That’s why I said this.…

When I see her. I forget where I am. I forget the time. The day. The year. My name. Everything. I’m just a puddle of mush and goo. And love.

Also. She’s so beautiful. Omg she’s so insanely hot. I start feeling dizzy when I look at her. I forget how to speak and think when I’m with her. When she holds me or touches my thigh. My heart starts beating wildly and I feel like I’m going to faint. And electricity. Omg. I cannot…

Also. Ginny had sent me a request on Shaadi.com. But I didn’t accept it. I told you this already. I was receiving a lot of requests from good looking men back then. They were fake accounts. Back then men weren’t interested in me. So yeah. I was being scammed. That’s why I didn’t accept her…

Since last one year. Whenever I eat chicken, I get a really bad tummy ache. I honestly don’t know why. I’m a vegetarian since 2023. I rarely eat meat. Just sometimes. Once in a while. When I was dating Ginny. We were eating vegetarian food whenever we met. I met one of my friends during…

Note. When I say I don’t have an ego. I mean I have a healthy ego. My ego is not bigger than my head.

Note. Plain assholes* Worst case scenarios*

I am speaking the truth. I don’t care if you like it or not.

I don’t have an ego. I only speak to people who don’t have an ego. Everyone in my close circle doesn’t have an ego. I stay 100 miles away from people with ego. I cannot stand it.

Women say “I don’t chase, I attract.” And they lure. Then they choose among the men who like them and pursue them. They don’t pursue the men whom they like. Because they fear rejection. Because ego. Marriage is not a walk through a fresh sunflower meadow. If you can’t handle something as silly as rejection.…

We are all adults here. I have explained everything long ago in detail. There’s no misunderstandings or mistakes. People clearly understand and know what they are doing.

Don’t push this behaviour aside by calling me spiderman. It’s much deeper than that. Whatever is happening is very serious, alarming and barbaric. It’s psychological.

I have already explained the twisted games that people play when they speak to me in detail. Also. When they speak to my parents. I have explained the complexities of existing in this reality and double life in detail. I want a normal and conventional life. I want credit, convention, recognition and respect for my…

Another reason why certain people from my past are not speaking to me is because. They can no longer exert false superiority. And keep me under their feet. You know the power play. Because now I’m successful and I’ve cleared my name. Also. Because now I have self respect and self love. And I won’t…

According to me. Cheating is not a deadly sin. Hypothetically, if I find out my partner is cheating. The first thing I will do is ask, “What happened.” I mean it’s just consensual sex. There is two sides to the story even in cheating. I mean it’s subjective. Sometimes it can be forgiven. Sometimes we…

I don’t think there’s anything left to say. I’m just repeating the same things. Like a crazy person. Sigh.

Honestly. I’ve seen everything. The good bad ugly beautiful. Everything.

Men aren’t that great either. Some of them are misogynistic patriarchal incel assholes. Some are disgusting and creepy. Some are so cheap that when you reject them, they attack you. Some of them sexually assault and I was also raped. Agh. Luckily, I’ve met some amazing men too. I’ve had positive experiences.

I’m like a bro to my guy friends and the men I like. I value the friendship aspect. I don’t mind pursuing someone I really like. I’m honest with my feelings. I’m okay with rejection. I don’t play these stupid games. I say what I mean. I cut the drama. I see myself as Robin…

I don’t really understand these things. Tbh. Because I function differently.

Don’t get me started on the games that women play while dating. They are never honest with their feelings. When a man texts them. They don’t respond quickly even if they are free. They like to give the illusion of being busy. They respond after a day or two or after many hours. Neethu does…

Women never say, “I like him.” They always say, “he likes me.” Because of their ego, fear of rejection and also they lack integrity. They always project their feelings. I don’t know if you’ve noticed. But they always choose men who like them. They don’t really care if they like that man or not. As…

All are equal. Period.

Men who are good silently take shit from society because of the men who commit crimes. They won’t say these things openly. Because they will face backlash. Also feminism comes into picture. But I’m not afraid to speak the truth. I’m speaking the truth. I stand by the truth.

Stop hating on men and putting women on a pedestal. All are equal. There are men who are good and women who are good. There are men who are monsters and women who are monsters. I know there’s a certain percentage of men who are not good. But women are not that great either. Women…

A good man is not an average woman. Half the women population are two face bitches. They are just hiding behind their facade. There’s nothing I hate more than two face bitches. The ones who project the persona that they are delicate flimsy angel princesses who can do no wrong. But in reality they are…

I’m not supporting men. I’m not supporting women either. I’m not biased towards any gender. I don’t stereotype any gender as well. I stand with the truth.

After the way people have been behaving and my experiences. My words are justified. I’m not even sorry. Bloody motherfuckers.

Caveat. I’m not attracted to women. That’s why I find most women vulgar and repulsive. I’m not attracted to men as well. That’s why I find them disgusting and creepy. Because I’m demisexual. And bisexual only 5% of the time and only online. If it was otherwise. My thoughts would have been different. Also. Because…

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

Platonically, I have love and respect for everyone. As a part of my community and society. Please keep it platonic with me. Please don’t make it weird. I never speak against innocent people. But if you fuck with me and jump. I will show you a mirror and bring you back to earth.

I find most women vulgar and repulsive. There’s a fine line between vulgar and hot. Most women cross that line. I’m not attracted to women IRL. I’m bisexual only 5% of the time. And it’s only online. My feelings are feeble and temporary. Also. Men. I’m not attracted to men as well. I find most…

I’m 100% sure women are doing the same things with men. That’s why I keep saying. Don’t support a woman. Just because she’s a woman. Don’t blame a man. Just because he’s a man.

Women have this mentality that just because they are women everyone will like them. So they lure, make a move, sexually assault, force me to go to their house. Etc. Why? Because I’m openly bisexual. Also. They have so much bloody ego. When you reject them. They spread false accusations. They have an upper hand…

If I was a man. I would have been dead long back. Even though I’m innocent. I want you to clearly understand what some bitches are capable of. When a man and a woman break up. Don’t automatically assume it’s the man’s fault. Don’t automatically take the woman’s side. Until and unless you know the…

I’m not supporting men. But men are speaking the truth. Women do have a habit of luring. After I came out as bisexual. So many women have tried to lure me. Ugly, pathetic, constipated, disgusting, creepy looking women. Who are beneath my standards. I don’t understand why women shit talk about men. Because women are…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

I’m really sick. I don’t know how I’m holding on.

I miss Ginny so much. I’m just so tired. I wish I had an ETA.

I don’t know if he’ll speak to me though. But I’m happy.

I found Will’s number. When we met in 2022. He had sent me money on gpay. (his share of the bill) I found his gpay ID from my bank statement. Entered it on gpay. And found his number.

What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

The truth is already out. I’m not interested in repeating the same things. Please stop wasting my precious time. I’m not interested. What the fuck is going on?

Since it’s warmer. I would like to wear shorts at home but I can’t. Because father will ogle at my body like a ruthless vulture. And it will fuck me up. Father just doesn’t stop. So I’m continuing to wear pants for my peace of mind. He really did sexually assault me in the past.…

What the fuck am I waiting for?

Don’t support people from the weaker sections of society. Just because they are weak. __ Don’t support people who are from the LGBTQ community. Just because they are gay. __ Don’t support old people. Just because they are old. __ Don’t support disabled people. Just because they are disabled. __ Don’t support a woman. Just…

I meant inconspicuous not incospicuous.

There’s nothing I hate more than

The truth is already out long long ago. What the fuck am I waiting for?

Every time I share something. People search the history to check if the same thing was said by someone else. Like something even similar. Then everyone suddenly speaks about the similar quote and resurfaces it. Even though it’s my words that are making the impact and change. The similar words by someone else were actually…

People can copy my work. But they can’t copy my creativity.

I want a normal and conventional life. I want credit, convention, recognition and respect for my work. This is my blood, sweat and tears. I fucking deserve it. I don’t want jokers to undermine me for an upper hand in the conversation ever again. Most people are creepy fans with a leverage. They take advantage…

It’s the weather for cold showers again. I’m extremely sick. I don’t know how I’m holding on, tbh. So are my parents. I don’t have money for anything. It’s just so tiring, frustrating and difficult to exist this way. If I had an ETA it would have been easier to handle. I’m fucking tired. And…